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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

View Poll Results: Long distance or prison relationship?
I would prefer a long distance relationship 367 72.39%
I would prefer a prison relationship 140 27.61%
Voters: 507. You may not vote on this poll

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  #26  
Old 04-12-2011, 02:21 PM
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this is a hard question and well idk really it depends how long the incarceration if not long then prison relationship if long thena distance all depends lol..this question is like a puzzle too many things to consider and put together
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  #27  
Old 04-12-2011, 03:14 PM
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I was in a long distance relationship for 2 years. I lived in WA he lived in NJ. It was expensive, it was heartbreaking, it was hell.

I would much rather do what we are doing now. Yes, it is still hell, but at least I get to see and touch him at least once a week. I get to talk to him on the phone for much less money. I get to KNOW that we will be together in the free world soon. Prison life is hard, but it beats 3000 miles between us.
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  #28  
Old 04-12-2011, 04:03 PM
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I was talking about this with my friend today and she always has a way with words, bless her heart

She said: "Pffft! Twice a year? On average, you guys probably have way more sex than most normal, live-in, married couples!"
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  #29  
Old 04-12-2011, 07:37 PM
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We are long distance; though not as long as you. We talk, still write but no skype yet.....he just got a lap top and we see each other about once a month.

We did a total of 10 years in prison, not sure I can wait another 10.

So free and long distance for sure.
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  #30  
Old 04-12-2011, 08:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nypurple View Post
We are long distance; though not as long as you. We talk, still write but no skype yet.....he just got a lap top and we see each other about once a month.

We did a total of 10 years in prison, not sure I can wait another 10.

So free and long distance for sure.
Daaaaamn I wouldn't mind meeting once a month - last time I saw him was in NJ/NY last November. Lucky you
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  #31  
Old 04-12-2011, 09:08 PM
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As much as i would hate to say it, i would prefer a prison relationship. I would have a real problem with a long distance relationship. Thats just me tho.
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  #32  
Old 04-12-2011, 09:13 PM
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I know I'm probably being selfish, but I know from experience a free long distance relationship wouldn't work. My dear sweet husband is the type that if he's not with the one he loves he loves the one he's with. Sad but true, I know. The closest we ever came to splitting up was when he got sent to a coed rehab about 10 years ago and between them convincing him that a relationship with someone who had never been an addict wouldn't work, and a convenient other woman on the premises that he had decided he had feelings for...............well lets just say that I know a long distance relationship would not work.
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  #33  
Old 04-12-2011, 09:42 PM
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I definitely say Long Distance, only cause he would be more safe then in Prison. All that emotional stress, and having to deal with others acting out on their feelings. Being able to talk, and text whenever. Oh, and being able to make Love at least twice a year, compared to none now. So happy he doesn't have years. I wouldn't be able to make....But I admirer all the ones that have the strength and well to do so.
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  #34  
Old 04-12-2011, 09:48 PM
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It's not even close.....Long Distance of course.

He has a life sentence so there is no competition. I would be thankful for a long distance relationship for the rest of our lives. I would honestly probably give up just about anything to spend even one night free with him.
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  #35  
Old 04-12-2011, 11:37 PM
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As harsh as this may sound...PRISON, my babe would tell you the same thing too. He is a very proud man that gets frustrated easily when things are not "ideal"...and it is hard out here for everybody let alone somebody with a less than perfect background. Too much temptation & drama out here for him.
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  #36  
Old 04-13-2011, 01:36 AM
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absolutely long distance...as alice keys song goes..." distance & time""..i'll wait a thousand days for u...
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  #37  
Old 04-13-2011, 01:37 AM
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ooppss.. Alicia Keys i mean
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  #38  
Old 04-20-2011, 10:51 AM
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Well right now I am doing the long distance AND prison thing, so I would have to go with just long distance. Then at least we could e-mail, text, etc as much as we want. But if I was closer to him right now and could see him once a week or month, then that may change my answer
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  #39  
Old 04-20-2011, 11:13 AM
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it wouldn't make any diffrence the only thing is it would make getting phone calls more possible
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Old 04-20-2011, 11:22 AM
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i would prefer my man freedom over all so i choose long distance..... even do his not gonna be near me has long i know his free n safe..
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  #41  
Old 05-10-2011, 11:27 AM
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If I read the question correctly, have a long distance relationship for the 4 1/2 years he was sentenced, or have a prison relationship for his remaining time (8 months). I'll take the 8 months, especially as he's working on improving himself and getting his GED.
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  #42  
Old 05-10-2011, 06:27 PM
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I would pick long distance. Ive done them before, and the freedoms are soo much nicer. If i send a letter, and it gets there on a saturday, by golly he's going to be able to read it. A phone call wouldnt cost 2.50. I could go visit him for more than 30 minutes.

him being incarcerated is way too hard, and I know I will not go through it ever again.
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  #43  
Old 05-10-2011, 07:04 PM
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What an odd question.

How could ANYONE who claims to love somebody wish them to be in prison as apposed to being free?
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  #44  
Old 05-10-2011, 08:41 PM
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I would rather keep things as they are with him in prison doing the same amount of time that he was sentenced to and then be completely free to be with me 24/7?
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  #45  
Old 05-10-2011, 09:53 PM
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long distance with his freedom but both choice still truly suck but him being free would be the best of the two
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  #46  
Old 05-11-2011, 01:23 AM
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I didn't vote, as this question caught me off guard! I don't usually go through the polls only cause the answers aren't really fitting to my personal life... none the less I just wanted to express my POV on this one cause not only did it catch me off guard it caught my eye!!!

I have waited from 2004-2009 married, no family visits since he wasn't eligible for them! he wasn't close to me and there were periods of times that I couldn't get to see him, during certain portion of those years he didn't have the luxury of using the phone, nor was he able to have contact visits... but that didn't stop me from letter writing, visiting and getting out there to see him every single chance I got! than he got transferred out his last year of his term and was 3 hours away which was so much nicer (believe me 3hrs makes all the difference) and because of PTO (thank you!,thank you!)I was able to meet someone that enjoyed visiting as much as I did and we went literally every weekend we could I was able to spend the last 9mths of his sentence visiting 3-4 times a month!
After 5 years and being at the end of that tunnel we had just went through, I can look back and honestly say that I dont think I would have made it threw those years if I only got to see him twice a year even if that meant more calls,texts, and emails (which I wouldnt get, my man is not one to get all fancy about computers I would have to nag and nag to get him to even turn our pc on at home) visits,letters, and the monthly phone calls towards the end and him being closer made all the difference in our relationship!

We are now sitting at the entrance of yet another tunnel, and I have yet to know how long, or how curvy this tunnel is going to be... but if I had a choice now to have him free and do a long distance thing, see him twice a year and get calls, and texts... over a stretch we are going to have to do after all this over... I would have to say Prison Relationship right now I am about a hour and a half away and I see him every weekend, we talk a few times a week and write, but all that side, it is the constant communication that we have and the ability to be able to glance at one another and have each other to look forward too even if it thru glass or for only 30mins! I was given a opportunity to move out of state after all this occurred and I was going to be on the east coast, I can honestly say I wouldnt know what to do with my self being that far and not being able to visit!! sometimes a phone call,and a visit twice a year just isnt enough... in my situation I get alot more out of what we have now and our love endures more and grows stronger as the time goes on, when it comes to our love we need more than 2 yearly visits and phone calls!!! with all the being said if my man was free there wouldn't be anything to keep him from his daughter and I... so if long distance freedom came with a condition he would not be able to oblige....
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  #47  
Old 05-11-2011, 06:43 AM
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I would rather my Vinny be free than have to be where he is now...whether we can be together or not.
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  #48  
Old 05-11-2011, 07:53 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Young'z_Ladii View Post
with all the being said if my man was free there wouldn't be anything to keep him from his daughter and I... so if long distance freedom came with a condition he would not be able to oblige....
Well, since my husband is American and I'm not - and we are applying for a visa for him to stay in my country - there are conditions that can't be circumvented unless he would be willing to live here illegally.

Since he's done with breaking the law we must wait and we must be in a long distance relationship.... there's just no choice in the matter. Only seeing each other twice a year is something we have been doing for almost 4 years now (less the 7 months last year), and that's just after he got out. Before that we were together in a prison relationship for 3 years and only saw each other ONCE during that whole time.

After he got out we had to wait; first while he finished his parole (2 years) and then the process of going through immigration in my country; living here for 7 months but going back to America when he was rejected and we appealed the decision - which has taken 11 months so far. Sure, I could have come to America but you don't easily uproot your kid and move to another country. And applying for the green card isn't exactly free... we can't fight an appeal here AND spend money on the green card if it isn't necessary. There are options but none of them are very attractive - it's like being between a rock and a hard place.

The good thing is that we know - without a shadow of a doubt that we want to be together. We don't want anyone else - neither one of us. And we work equally hard at this relationship so we know we're completely in sync too.
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  #49  
Old 05-11-2011, 11:59 AM
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I would say long distance. I would never be so selfish to not want him to have his freedom or his life.
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  #50  
Old 05-11-2011, 12:34 PM
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i would prefer a prison relationship ONLY because i know myself and i know even though we'd have unlimited text etc. i have serious trust issues and i know that it wouldnt work out for me with him being long distance... i mean its hard enough now hes in prison and its long distance .... we've done it for 2 years already.... we have less than 16 months left now so i would rather finish these months out.... then have him WITH ME 23/7 lol ( yes i need some me time cuz he'd drive me coocoo ) but dont get me wrong this prison stuff scares the h3ll out of me becuz you never know what could happen in there.... ( but on the other hand its the same for the outsdie world as well....)
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