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View Poll Results: Did you agree to have the sex buddy?
No 824 89.18%
Yes 100 10.82%
Voters: 924. You may not vote on this poll

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  #301  
Old 06-13-2010, 09:16 PM
zxkitaxz zxkitaxz is offline
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My man encourages me to have "male friends". Then I got into a situation and the man I was friends with... lets just say it got really complicated really fast. So after I broke that off, I decided it wasn't worth it for my relationship with him or the drama it brought to my life. He doesn't understand why I don't want to, he thinks I would be more forefilled if I did. Honestly, its not the same and when I have, I always regret it. I feel sad and alone when its over.
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  #302  
Old 06-14-2010, 02:12 PM
MrsMartiCarrion MrsMartiCarrion is offline
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Well, Im different... Ive never cheated on anyone ive ever been with. We were together and then he got out "lost his mind" we ended, then we hooked back up again when he realized he was off the hook and now we are back doing a violation bid. When he lost his mind, i saw a diff side of him but i was expecting it after being locked up for so long. Im waiting... but i will say this, being committed to someone that is committed moreso bc they HAVE to be sounds a little more ridiculous the 2nd time around, nevertheless, ill keep my end of the deal. Besides, the dudes out here are so LAME...ugh and im CRAZY about him!

On second thought though, i know all it takes is for me to have a chance meeting with someone new and a new world wind of a romance could happen... am i willing to chance that and lose my sweetness? NAAAHHHH... but i do have these fleeting thoughts that we discuss from time to time, he is not a jealous guy (which shocks me bc he is Rican) but he stands firm about his woman "behaving"... so what Papi says goes... Sorry, hot guys that probably have nothing to offer me in the long run, Im taken... just look at my wrist... it says "His"


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  #303  
Old 06-19-2010, 02:03 PM
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I can't even bear the thought of that.

I will never hate on any of you ladies who voted "Yes" to this question, but I must say I absolutely DESPISE when people roll their eyes at me and with a little smirk, inform me that because I am "just a young girl" (I'm 22!!) I THINK I won't want anyone else but "just you wait til he's been gone for a few years". Completely disrespectful, ya know?

It's my choice to wait on my man for as long as need be. We were together before all this crap happened and I never so much as took a second look at anyone else during that time, because I never felt the need or desire to, and I devoted myself to him. He's my best friend and my baby girl's father so I just don't think I can put him out of my mind for a few mins with someone else.

He's not going to be in there forever and a day, but no matter how many years he might end up serving, I will wait for my man. My heart is part of my body and therefore, he's got it all.

But let me say it again, I'm not hating on any one of you ladies for YOUR own individual choices/agreements you got with your own man. This is just my choice.

Besides, I think my big handsome Papi is well worth the wait.
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  #304  
Old 06-19-2010, 02:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by j.d View Post
So we had the poll recently asking has your man said its ok to have a sex buddy.
Now i wanna ask the question purely cos i want to see the % rate of those who he has said this too
how many women are having the sex buddy and how many are waiting just for him.

Wanted to tell my man actually how many women DO wait no matter what they arent gunna sleep with someone else.

it has never been a topic of discussion for us. he has asked me once if i can wait that long, and i said yes without a doubt. that was the end of it. he's asked once, and he has no doubt of me being faithful to him.
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  #305  
Old 06-20-2010, 11:48 PM
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I made a joke one time abut how I was going to get a gf why he was away. He just laughed at me (it was at a visit) and later I got a letter telling me..."remember, I don't share well...i think i missed that day in school."

I've thought about it (not getting a gf...but being with someone else). And I just can't even bring myself to finish the thought. I know how much it would hurt him. And, I love him. So, what's a few years without sex? It will only make it that much better when he's home.
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  #306  
Old 11-11-2013, 03:44 PM
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No, and I'd be insulted if he said I could.
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  #307  
Old 10-23-2017, 08:57 AM
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Since my man only has 15 days left and 2 years gone. No problem. If he had a long sentence. Bye dear. Im going to find someone else
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  #308  
Old 10-23-2017, 09:17 AM
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Thats a HUGE hell to the no.. I mean this is how I see it ... i dont want my husband with no one else so I KNOW he would NEVER want me with anyone else. Sure its hard as hell, but if you love someone it shouldnt be THAT HARD to wait...
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  #309  
Old 10-23-2017, 01:32 PM
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In my eyes B is the sexiest man God ever created on this planet and all the others. He is also blessed with a voice so deep and sexy that phone sex keeps me plenty satisfied. I share all of my very detailed fantasies with him so he can have fun with himself when his cellie is away. If I never touch another man other than him, I'm okay with that.
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  #310  
Old 10-23-2017, 03:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eddie's Wife865 View Post
Thats a HUGE hell to the no.. I mean this is how I see it ... i dont want my husband with no one else so I KNOW he would NEVER want me with anyone else. Sure its hard as hell, but if you love someone it shouldnt be THAT HARD to wait...
[i]
aw chica. i agree.
But it has not been hard for me to wait.I am good at prayer lol and taking physically great care of mi self, so i know how to do that without it being so hard ya know! LOL
-
and chica, your love one Ed has a great wonderful woman,because we ARE rare. The one's who can remain as i have for YEARS, i am completely in each/every way #happyandcelibate i haven't even entertain the notion of being a cheater/sex buddy=RISK OF STD, diseases that sometime do not show up til months year or longer after, so no thank you and i would rather wait to make LOVE to my man...Not just cheap fast sex buddy sex that wear off in a minute or two.I respect mi self too much to do that,with a man i do not at all love,nor respect.I have to love you,yes but i have to really RESPECT you if i am going to give all mi body to u,in a way i have no 1 else.So no "sex cheap act here" no thank you.
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I don't know.I feel/think that SEX in itself is over-rated and more so without a man you're truly loving or a woman. I am just now how i used to be prior to multiple bad Domestic Vio relationships,i think that's why.So since then?

Been without it happily so. I have altogether been without sex or making love for just about 8 long years celibate prior to him.(and with him almost five years)no regrets after 2 BAD D.V.relationships.I was not interested in any sex OR making love ever again.So its all good.Now?I am ready thanks to my loved one...he truly es mi bff and i am so ready to give mi self to him, in due course when he is home,late 2017/early winter 2018...When it es right..."and no regret by doing so.adios. Hugs and Blessing to all
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Last edited by a.rare.love; 10-23-2017 at 03:54 PM..
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  #311  
Old 10-23-2017, 03:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by InLuvWithALifer View Post
In my eyes B is the sexiest man God ever created on this planet and all the others. He is also blessed with a voice so deep and sexy that phone sex keeps me plenty satisfied. I share all of my very detailed fantasies with him so he can have fun with himself when his cellie is away. If I never touch another man other than him, I'm okay with that.
I love that. As mi bff/fiancee es the same way "while and only when his cellie is away."So it's all good and ICAM with you chica.yep. adios.
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#TAAS ...(There are always signs.)
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Do NOT ignore the signs. Don't let the "I love u's,cloud your better judgement."
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Do not give your "all" to some guy who is not showing you through "action."
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Remember, he is #J.A.M.("Just another man.)

"DON'T let him break you.".God knows what es best for all of us."#Smile #LiveWell #DontSettle.
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  #312  
Old 10-25-2017, 11:54 AM
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It so much better when you're waiting.
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  #313  
Old 11-09-2017, 10:35 PM
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Again no man who is really in love with a woman would be ok with them having sex with another man. It's not possible. If my husband were to tell me that it was ok that I had sex with other men I would automatically know he really didn't love me. Just saying.
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  #314  
Old 11-10-2017, 12:33 AM
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Honestly, I would be hurt if my husband told me I could have a sex buddy while he's inside. I'm loyal. And besides, he's not getting laid. Why should I? I have our vibrator anyways, so I'm sure I'll survive the wait.
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  #315  
Old 11-16-2017, 02:54 PM
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I'm super old fashioned and idealistic when it comes to love/romance/sex. A sex buddy is something that I will never even consider.
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  #316  
Old 12-09-2017, 12:30 PM
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Originally Posted by nygirl17 View Post
Again no man who is really in love with a woman would be ok with them having sex with another man. It's not possible. If my husband were to tell me that it was ok that I had sex with other men I would automatically know he really didn't love me. Just saying.
Not true lol. You can never assume to know how an individual defines love or what they are OK with...especially under abnormal circumstances. Its cool if that's how you view it, but no one person can speak about ALL men.
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  #317  
Old 12-09-2017, 01:15 PM
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Not true lol. You can never assume to know how an individual defines love or what they are OK with...especially under abnormal circumstances. Its cool if that's how you view it, but no one person can speak about ALL men.
Yes it's very true and I don't care what circumstances anyone is under. If someone you love is ok with you having sex with someone else they don't truly love you. I will always believe this and my husband says the same thing. I'm speaking for normal relationships between man and woman woman and woman and man to man. If you cheat on someone it's the same thing. You never really loved the person your with if you can cheat on them.
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  #318  
Old 12-11-2017, 02:35 AM
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I married someone who could potentially be a lifer.

He does not question my love for him. However, due to HIS circumstances, he felt it unfair that our marriage meant that I cannot ever have sex with anyone else, because it may mean I will never have sex again.

I'm 35.

So he gave me permission to have a friend with benefits. But that's not the way I operate. I can't even fathom having sex with someone I don't have a deep emotional attachment with. I don't even have physical urges unless I'm with someone I have a deep emotional attachment with.

Again, I'm 35.

This has happened only with 2 individuals in my life- my late husband, and my current one, who I've been attached to since we were kids.

So while I have "permission" just in case- it really will never happen because it's not easy for me to become emotionally attached to anyone.
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  #319  
Old 01-14-2018, 08:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nygirl17 View Post
Yes it's very true and I don't care what circumstances anyone is under. If someone you love is ok with you having sex with someone else they don't truly love you. I will always believe this and my husband says the same thing. I'm speaking for normal relationships between man and woman woman and woman and man to man. If you cheat on someone it's the same thing. You never really loved the person your with if you can cheat on them.
Well you have to take into consideration there are all types of relationships. Polyogmists, for instance, have more than one wife and often 3 or 4. Swingers agree to allow the person to have sexual relationships with other people. Some people only engage in sex in a threesome type of relationship. ALL these relationships are normal for the people that are in those relationships. None of these people consider what they are doing is cheating. You have a very black and white view of how relationships are supposed to work and seem to think if it’s not the way you do it then somehow it’s wrong. So rather than say it’s wrong maybe if both people in the relationship are ok with it then it’s right for them and doesn’t diminish any love they have for each other.
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  #320  
Old 01-15-2018, 01:51 PM
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I would never do my boo like that. If I can't wait for him for 24 months than we don't need to be together. This has never been a discussion with us. I love him and only him.
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  #321  
Old 01-19-2018, 07:12 PM
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Quote:
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Well you have to take into consideration there are all types of relationships. Polyogmists, for instance, have more than one wife and often 3 or 4. Swingers agree to allow the person to have sexual relationships with other people. Some people only engage in sex in a threesome type of relationship. ALL these relationships are normal for the people that are in those relationships. None of these people consider what they are doing is cheating. You have a very black and white view of how relationships are supposed to work and seem to think if it’s not the way you do it then somehow it’s wrong. So rather than say it’s wrong maybe if both people in the relationship are ok with it then it’s right for them and doesn’t diminish any love they have for each other.
If you say so. Cheating is cheating. I'm so glad i have an amazing love with my husband. Where I don't have to worry about him cheating.
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  #322  
Old 01-20-2018, 04:49 AM
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Why don't we just agree to disagree and... live & let live without judging No relationship is the same, and people have different ways to love - different does not mean better or worse, love is just that....love. You can't tell another person they don't love someone if their way of loving doesn't match your own
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