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  #1  
Old 12-11-2017, 02:57 PM
Rpayton3012 Rpayton3012 is offline
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Default Hes using other women for money, I don't want to be played. Advice?

Hell my name is Rochelle and I have been dealing with my fianc in prison for about 1 year and a half. Hes is currently located in FCU Fort Dix prison and to make a long story short. I believe it this relationship will not last long. Hes using other women in prison for money but claim he dont want them. But I dont want to be played by him. Need advice. Thanks
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Old 12-11-2017, 03:05 PM
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What I hear you saying is-- I don't want him to do that to me.

What I'm not hearing is-- I can't believe I'm choosing to stay with a man who is willing to use people with complete disregard to their well-being.

You're already being played. He's selling you "I'm a Good Man" and you're buying it.
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Old 12-11-2017, 03:25 PM
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If you don't want to be involved with someone who's shady, then break the engagement. There's no other way to handle it. He's shady, and if he's even admitted it to you, then he has no shame, which is always a very bad sign.
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Old 12-11-2017, 03:59 PM
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I can't believe you are still with a man who has openly told you that he is using other women! Do you think he is a good man because he isn't and has no regard for these women's feelings at all. If it was me I would be long gone
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Old 12-11-2017, 04:46 PM
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Why on earth are you with a man who you have to "Deal" with and you dont think your relationship will last? If he is playing other women for money then he is a con man simple as that. If he can con them he can con you.
What is there to love about this guy? Personally I couldnt stand by and watch someone abusing other peoples kindness.
Your condoning it by staying around.
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Old 12-11-2017, 04:46 PM
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What kind of person does this??? And why would you stay with him knowing he's doing this to other people.
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Old 12-11-2017, 04:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rpayton3012 View Post
Hell my name is Rochelle and I have been dealing with my fianc in prison for about 1 year and a half. Hes is currently located in FCU Fort Dix prison and to make a long story short. I believe it this relationship will not last long. Hes using other women in prison for money but claim he dont want them. But I dont want to be played by him. Need advice. Thanks
I say send him an email and tell him you are done with him and his shady ways, then block him from your phone and any way he can contact you via email or whatever way he uses to communicate with you, put return to sender on all mail from him.
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Old 12-11-2017, 05:38 PM
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If you know he is doing this to other women and you stay with him, you are condoning the behavior. A man that has no conscience or empathy for others will more than likely have little for you. I don't care how he tries to rationalize it to you, it is wrong and not a characteristic in a person that I would want to have a relationship with.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you comes to mind.
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Old 12-11-2017, 06:25 PM
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Have you given him money? If so, you are one of the ladies he is playing too.
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Old 12-11-2017, 10:48 PM
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I would encourage you to go look at the forum when the relationship is over. Read some of the stories of good, loyal and faithful women and how they were used and dropped. Read how hurt these women are how some think they met their sole mate to be robbed of a lot of money and then ignored. It is a racket that goes on. I'm guessing your not knowledgeable about the pen pal hustle where men lie to women so they can buy snack from commissary or pay off gambling and drug debts. That is a real thing and he wants to do that and is telling you up front. What a nice guy I'm sure women are flocking to him. You deserve better let this one go is my opinion
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Old 12-12-2017, 07:32 AM
Rpayton3012 Rpayton3012 is offline
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Default Ended relationship

Good morning everybody. I read all of your messages and I wants to thank yall for the response. I had to think long and hard last night and I decided to end this engagement. I block all jail calls and emails!!!!!! I dont condone this behavior. Its just that I got caught up in the web of lies that he was telling me. I did love this man but I gotta love me first!!!!☝️ Again thank yall for the eye opener
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Old 12-12-2017, 08:21 AM
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Good for you.
I know I couldnt stay with someone who used others like that.
It says alot about how he will treat you too.

Onward and upward!
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Old 12-12-2017, 11:23 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rpayton3012 View Post
Good morning everybody. I read all of your messages and I wants to thank yall for the response. I had to think long and hard last night and I decided to end this engagement. I block all jail calls and emails!!!!!! I dont condone this behavior. Its just that I got caught up in the web of lies that he was telling me. I did love this man but I gotta love me first!!!!☝️ Again thank yall for the eye opener
Some how I'm not quite buying it!!! First of all I'm sure this is not something new you just found out. Secondly I don't believe You read a few basically negative posts and your done and gone!! Just a feeling I have I hope I'm wrong but my instincts are pretty good when it comes to this. Good luck!!!
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Old 12-12-2017, 12:49 PM
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I hope you are done I hope you dont become another of his victims there are good men out there and he just isnt one of them.
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Old 12-16-2017, 09:13 PM
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Very good!! He’s probably “engaged” to all those other women, too.
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Old 12-20-2017, 11:27 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kimimi View Post
I would encourage you to go look at the forum when the relationship is over. Read some of the stories of good, loyal and faithful women and how they were used and dropped. Read how hurt these women are how some think they met their sole mate to be robbed of a lot of money and then ignored. It is a racket that goes on. I'm guessing your not knowledgeable about the pen pal hustle where men lie to women so they can buy snack from commissary or pay off gambling and drug debts. That is a real thing and he wants to do that and is telling you up front. What a nice guy I'm sure women are flocking to him. You deserve better let this one go is my opinion
I am one of those good, loyal and faithful women and because I refused to be used then I have just this week been dropped. I wish I knew two years ago what I know now and could tell myself I would end up confused, broken hearted and feeling like a fool. Two years there of wasted time, believing lies and spending money on phone number, letters, cards and email credits. Thankfully I did not part with the $600 he wanted off me. Who knows if I was the only one either. I am thinking this is more common than you think, even with the ones that claim to be changed into “good” men. I appreciated your response here, wish I had had your sense before I started the “relationship”.

Last edited by Scrittigirl; 12-20-2017 at 11:31 AM..
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Old 12-20-2017, 03:46 PM
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If he is treating you this way as his fiance then being his wife isn't going to be any better. If he can do something as bogus as using other women then he hasn't changed one bit and I wouldn't make someone like that my fiance. If he didn't treat me right as my boyfriend, he won't get to be my fiance or husband. I always look at the boyfriend/girlfriend stages to be a "test." Knowing who this person is, how they'd fit into your future, what they can offer, how they treat me overall. If they can't meet me half way, I'll be walking the other way. You should too. Know you deserve better and I know love is one of hell of a drug and we like to sit here and make excuses for the people we love and think that if we just try harder, everything will be okay. You should compliment one another not make the other look bad. By him using these women, he's not the only one who looks bad, you do too because you roll with him. Don't lower your standards and morals for someone who can't raise theirs for you. Good luck to you!
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Old 12-20-2017, 04:58 PM
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Honestly to me it sounds like you already made up your mind and I understand not wanting to be played. Are you sending him money? Was y'all together before his incarcerattion? It's not okay for him to use other females especially if they feel like they are in a relationship with him
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Old 12-20-2017, 05:23 PM
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It is many ways to be used, not only for money.Maybe you are entretaining and help him to do his time and he has no intention to stay with you when he come out
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