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Met While Incarcerated Were you introduced by a friend or family member after he/she was incarcerated? Did you meet as Pen Pals? This Forum is for you!

View Poll Results: Do you get scared that your MWI will cheat upon release?
Yes, and I have confronted him/her about my concerns 33 37.08%
Yes, but I keep the concern to myself 24 26.97%
No, I trust that it will never be a problem 28 31.46%
Other (Specifiy in comments) 4 4.49%
Voters: 89. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old 10-23-2017, 04:50 PM
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Unhappy Do you ever get scared of what will happen upon your MWI's release?

I'm not speaking from true personal experience, as I've only been corresponding with my MWI for a very short period of time. However, it has brought up some curiosities for me about those who have relationships with inmates. What do you think will happen when he/she gets released and is suddenly exposed to all of the "temptations?" I am speaking in terms of dating and sex. I feel like I'd almost want to take a step back in that circumstance, and allow him to experience freedom again before he decides whether we will continue our relationship in the free world. For those of you who have been through the release process with your MWI, how did it go? Were there any obstacles regarding faithfulness?

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Old 10-23-2017, 05:28 PM
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We're not there yet but we've been together five'ish years and married for two. I guess worry is too strong of a word, but I've considered it. We've also talked about it. I asked him what he would do if I said, as you mentioned, that I thought he should have some freedom before locking down after he gets out and he was pretty thrown by that-- and not in a good way. He said, "I don't do breaks. We're together or we're not." All I needed to hear.
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Old 10-23-2017, 05:50 PM
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Quote:
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We're not there yet but we've been together five'ish years and married for two. I guess worry is too strong of a word, but I've considered it. We've also talked about it. I asked him what he would do if I said, as you mentioned, that I thought he should have some freedom before locking down after he gets out and he was pretty thrown by that-- and not in a good way. He said, "I don't do breaks. We're together or we're not." All I needed to hear.
Wow, he sounds like a great guy. Wishing you all the best!
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Old 10-24-2017, 12:05 AM
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Quote:
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We're not there yet but we've been together five'ish years and married for two. I guess worry is too strong of a word, but I've considered it. We've also talked about it. I asked him what he would do if I said, as you mentioned, that I thought he should have some freedom before locking down after he gets out and he was pretty thrown by that-- and not in a good way. He said, "I don't do breaks. We're together or we're not." All I needed to hear.
I'm with you on this - not scared but somewhat apprehensive. But we'll cross that bridge when we get there. After this long time of incarceration him coming home will be a challenge in a almost all aspects. I have my worries and concerns but we've talked about it and his answer was like your guy's answer.
So let's see what happened and I'm for one are enjoying my time with him NOW.
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Old 10-24-2017, 04:38 AM
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There's always gonna be temptation, but when you stand by someone and support them in everyway, they dont need a break..sad to say my mwi filed for divorce to be with someone else after 9 years of marriage, they never stopped communicating with each other, so if he wants to be with you nothing or no one can stop it
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Old 10-24-2017, 07:44 AM
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No, because I have no expectations, as I allow things to happen as they will.
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Old 10-24-2017, 10:38 AM
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Old 10-25-2017, 06:54 PM
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My concerns are so much less about he and I and much more about just him. B has been in prison for sadly, over half his life. The world has largely passed him by. Since meeting him I often wonder how the world has gotten by without him, he is such a blessing to all who come in to contact with him, especially me. If he gets out and wants to be with me? Awesome! If not, as long as he adjusts and is happy in the new world he is in, I am happy. I don't spend a dime or do absolutely anything for what I will get in return, but rather to show him I care.
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Old 10-25-2017, 08:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bree024 View Post
experience freedom again before he decides whether we will continue our relationship in the free world. For those of you who have been through the release process with your MWI, how did it go? Were there any obstacles regarding faithfulness?
Hola chica. I will be making this long,and good topic tonight.

#1.) Take it slow. Do not rush. .This is not la la land/fantasy MWI. Remember that.You're going to have to "see it for what it is,and or what it can feasibly be, within yourself(remain realistic at all times, each day. eachnight.)
-

2.)
NO EXPECTATIONS/NO FANTASY LAND for me... I have learned to take each day at a time.Just hope for the best, prepare for anything that might go wrong. However, he has never had anything "good pure clean healthy happy loyal,wonderful in life and he is such a great looking bi-racial young man.so cute, and good looking and handsome the whole pkg.(physically)but he has never seen himself like how I see him. He still can't believe we are in each other lives for years. Almost five long years.."
-
#3.) Good luck on your MWI journey. I always say here, and in real life off here, "if you're going to have to fret over if he is either cheating on you i.e., being faithful, then that's not a good way to be in an MWI or even a non-mwi. A man is going to do what he feel HE at the time he is doing it, going to cheat,because he is a selfish prick,no good POS, and hence, shall not be blessed. I never worried over that with men.NEVER. I always know/remember who i am, what i want i go after it day and night,
from building biz writing books,making music,college studies,to being a God-Loving woman, a woman's best friend/or a man bff, after speaking to me, and i always knew, that i would never waste a second of my good life worrying over the faithfulness query."I always knew that if he cheat, it would be on him and HIS loss. Not my loss,because i am good either way with a wonderful God-bless life and so much going on good for me, therefore i do not think about whether or not he will be/remain "faithful to me."I, at this point trust he shall remain, faithful.I am just not going to fully trust til' he is out of prison any day now,working steadily, then we have our cold nice winter nights together as we are planning."I do trust him though on "faithfulness"because i see what he has been through.I know also when he was "home the last time"at 17 and just turning 18,he was a recluse pretty much.He loves to just lay low/stay inside of a house,(only went out to do his dirtthen he would go home, "Get a sex oral etc.from some women way older/and who was willing to "do him" and then he got locked up during 18 years young. "He clearly do not want that life anymore.He just doesn't.(I for years am believing it)and time will tell when he is out soon and back in the "real world..."But, yes...Many times, i have invoked the query to him about "experiencing w/out me the free world other chicks whatever et.al.,
and he said so quickly "No need."


Mi fiancee/BFF has been in prison a long time starting at 11 or 12 in (juvie hall) after running for dope/drugs smh for his OWN messed up parent(mom) who still is a junkie,we both learned this past year by his baby sis...(sis told us finally smdh)She also introduce mi fiancee/bff, to marijuana and other drugs at barely 12 a pre-teen.
Ruined his world since then for which still "haunts him now"and he has vowed NOT to go back to that old block where "mom"shockingly moved right back to after so many years.i trust him at this point but time will tell.
He will be late 20s( almost thirty) when he is out this fall/winter 2017. He never really had a lady in his life.Never had 1 "real girlfriend..."Just a quick 1 to 3 minutes, if that sex here and there, an "18" to 20 women he says, oral stuff like that, et.al., just getting his "ORAL"when he wanted by way older ladies, women of the"night.'easy sex, cheap sex, and livin' reckless thanks to mom, in the hood where he is dreading going back to because of how he was brought up/negative street life robberies drugs etc.al. "(he is starting his halfway house there temporary)But i did tell him he is welcome to do so,and then i will do me, by seeing others til he is 'sure.'he immediately said, Sweetness:Look @ you.(smiles) But beside that, you are incredible...Why the hell would i want to go out and meet others online or off when i got the best? You're beyond gorgeous/very beautiful but "more"beautiful on the inside, and that is MOST important. (BRB)Mi phone is ringing. He is calling right now before locking in chica.:smile: I will continue in a lil while.#STAYWOKE and just focus on the good,and always remain positive and see it for what it is."Take it slow,chica. brb.hugs and blessings
adios
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Last edited by a.rare.love; 10-25-2017 at 09:33 PM..
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Old 10-27-2017, 04:34 PM
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No..... That is IF he ever gets out.. My MWI and I have been together 3 1/2 years. We are getting married next year. :-)
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Old 10-29-2017, 01:42 PM
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Sure, but there is enough trust between us to be honest with each other. Now she has come home, I have had to give her time and space in the free world to decide what is best for her and her kids. This is something that we talked about for over a year and half while she was in prison. She is truly a best friend, and that has taken a huge amount of work on both sides. I know her full history and there times when the level of trust that she shows me just leaves me speechless. How can I not show the same to her?

But yeah there are fears. I can't walk around like Spock in Star Trek all day long. lol.
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Old 10-29-2017, 01:56 PM
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Anyone who say's they aren't afraid should really sit back and rethink what they are doing. I wasn't MWI but your damned straight I worried about what he'd do once out the gates. Not that my fears were of cheating crap it never was my big fear him falling back into same situations that led to prison were my fears and sure enough my fears were justified.
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Old 10-31-2017, 06:36 AM
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we've made extremely ambitious plans, like living together straight away, getting married, etc. to be honest, my greatest fear is that she'll bail out on all of it. it's totally unfounded, but my greatest fear is abandonment. I've seen terrible things in combat, but somehow none of the most terrifying things that have happened in my life holds a candle to that fear of getting ditched by my special someone.
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Old 11-03-2017, 09:09 AM
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I fear it yes, he was a philandering whoremonger for many years, we'll see.
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Old 11-11-2017, 08:44 PM
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If your scared why be in the relationship???
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Old 11-11-2017, 09:10 PM
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I was nervous for sure we hadn't even met in person. I'm sure every mwi has some nervousness like xolady said. It wasn't until we spent time together out here that I got to see the actions not just the words . He also didn't fall head over heels with me in two weeks, start acting like I was his wife or owed him something. I'm lucky he is everything he said he was and more. Some are not so lucky and get hurt in these type relationships.i think mwi relationships are a high risk venture so there should be fear, or at least nervousness.
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Old 11-13-2017, 01:27 PM
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What's MWI?
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Old 11-13-2017, 01:46 PM
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What's MWI?
MWI = Met While Inside
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Old 11-15-2017, 01:48 AM
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Default Mine divorced me

After 9 yrs he went back to his ex upon release , didn't see that coming he said they kept in contact the whole time he was incarcerated 23yrs! I was devastated
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Old 11-15-2017, 07:57 AM
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After 9 yrs he went back to his ex upon release , didn't see that coming he said they kept in contact the whole time he was incarcerated 23yrs! I was devastated
This is what scares me. That I really don't know him as well as I think. Thank you and I am so sorry for the hurt you must be feeling.
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Old Today, 05:22 AM
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I think these fears are not exclusive to the, MWI situation. We were together for several years prior to his incarceration and I don't fear he will cheat on me or leave me because we have a history and that history doesn't include that behavior , however I fear he will drink and go back to prison. He is sitting in a cell now because he was on probation and kept drinking. He will come out on
Special parole and if he drinks his ass is right back inside..do not pass go ..do not collect $200. History tells me he struggles with this . The only difference when you are mwi is that you don't have this history. We all have fears/worries..if for no other reason than the system sets them up to fail.
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Old Today, 07:23 AM
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This may or may not be on subject, but after five years together, my MWI told me yesterday that he received a letter from a woman he "Used to mess with" and I was kind of taken aback as this is the first time this has happened that I'm aware of. In five years I've never had ANY reason to mistrust him but for some reason, I can't get this out of my mind. Should I be worried? Please help!
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Old Today, 11:58 AM
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Quote:
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This may or may not be on subject, but after five years together, my MWI told me yesterday that he received a letter from a woman he "Used to mess with" and I was kind of taken aback as this is the first time this has happened that I'm aware of. In five years I've never had ANY reason to mistrust him but for some reason, I can't get this out of my mind. Should I be worried? Please help!
Does he mean "mess with" as in he was using her for something or deceiving her in some way, or does he mean "mess with" as in "mess around with" i.e. he used to have some kind of relationship with her?
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Old Today, 12:33 PM
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Default Yes.. worry

Quote:
Originally Posted by miamidolfan40 View Post
This may or may not be on subject, but after five years together, my MWI told me yesterday that he received a letter from a woman he "Used to mess with" and I was kind of taken aback as this is the first time this has happened that I'm aware of. In five years I've never had ANY reason to mistrust him but for some reason, I can't get this out of my mind. Should I be worried? Please help!
It's always those ex's and first loves that are hard to.let go, how.did he respond to the letter?? And what did she want?? Mine left me for his so called ex .. so yes!! be careful and guard your heart
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