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Old 01-10-2017, 02:19 PM
timntisha2012 timntisha2012 is offline
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Default He still has not learned when to pick his battles

Hi all. It's been awhile since I've posted. I thought things were going well.. I've received two very ugly letters from my fiancé in a week.. We have been through so many ups and downs since his incarceration. But we've worked them out. He gets in these moods and he takes 'digs' at me. He puts on like he's all perfect and tells me how I need to change A, B, and C.
Well I redirected his one letter but his last one got to me more than the rest.. I'm a widow. I lost my husband over five and a half years ago to suicide. My boys were only 8 and 9 when they lost their father. I'm very very close to my husband's side of the family. Just the other day, I had a blow out on the side of the road on my way to work at 5:30 in the morning and my father in law came and changed my tire. My washer went out and he bought me a new washer. I hit a deer a couple months ago and he fixed my car. Anything that my boys need, he goes above and beyond for us.. Well Tim's family won't even speak to me. They wouldn't care if I was dead on the side of the road. They BLAME me for his incarceration even though I was just as shocked as them the day he was arrested.. His last Christmas out, his family bought nothing for me and my kids for Christmas even though we lived together and had been together for a couple of years. So Tim didn't go to their house for Christmas because of how they were treating me and my kids. My husband's family, bought for him and his son that Christmas. Plus my parents.. His letter stated how I hurt him when I call my boys grandad my father in law. When I refer to my boys uncle as my brother in law. Rather than being happy that they take care of me and the boys, he uses it against me. Then throws his family, who has treated us so poorly up in my face.
I feel he's being extremely selfish. Our situations are nowhere near the same. He's got two ex wives he's got children with and they are still alive. I feel that I will always have ties to my husband's family because of the children. I could be out here letting some other man help me, but instead I've chosen to stand by him and my husband's family helps me. I still go over there for Christmas and I feel this is a very touchy subject expecting me to just forget about the ones who have been there for me and my kids through everything.. How is this hurting him?? I do not understand. I think he doesn't chose his battles wisely when it comes to me. It's like he goes looking for conflict when there isn't any. They will always be my family. They've been my family for 16 years and then he tells me how I'm living in the past.. Am I wrong for being very very upset about the way he is acting? Because I am. And I'm hurt. Especially how they treated him and his son like family and they all have been good to him and his children. Family isn't about blood to me. I'm sorry for the vent and it being so long. There was a lot more in his other letter but I won't get into all of that.
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