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Friends & Families of Addicts Information for coping, dealing & living with a loved one's addictive behavior.

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  #1  
Old 07-22-2009, 09:14 PM
Kbsles Kbsles is offline
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Default How do you know if alcohol is the problem?

I have been a member of PTO since 2004, I normally post in other forums (my man is a lifer). However, my issue tonight is about my 29 year old son who I strongly suspect is an alcoholic, but I'm just not sure. I also believe that he has a mental/emotional problem that he is using the alcohol to cover it up with.

The problem is that I have not seen him falling down drunk, I have heard him slurring his words.....he is not doing well by any stretch of the imagination financially, in fact he has moved back in with me.

I know from his brother that he is working in some bar which is contributing or may have really kicked off the problem. He has become evasive about nearly everything. He is not abusive with me, in fact he is quite respectful and loving with me......which only makes me more confused if alcohol is in fact what he is abusing. The only thing I know for sure is that he has become totally unreliable, irresponsible, I can sense anger and confusion underneath the surface with him.....sigh.

I know that whatever the issue is with him I cannot fix it, he has to face it.....I want to help him, but don't know how, I don't know how to find out for sure what the problem is......I only know there is one.

Thank goodness he isn't married, no children.....I am looking for perhaps some guidance as to what to look for.....I see him possibly heading for trouble. I am so worried about him.
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Old 07-23-2009, 12:02 AM
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Ronsbaby Ronsbaby is offline
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Ok here is the trueth if he is an alcoholic, there is NOTHING you can do to change that he has to feel there is a problem and he has to change it himself!!! What can you do for you? Great group of helpful people that go thru dealing with a loved one, or friend or family member's drinking that has affected their lives...alanon. There are local meetings all over. Just like AA meetings - Ok how do you find alanon meetings in your area? Go to www.alanon.org there is also a website that has online alanon meetings a bunch of info you can read on alcoholismn, www.stepchat.com there are also other support groups there, but you'll find what your looking for...any other questions please feel free to pm, contact me anytime! I've been thru this with 2 alcoholic parents and an alcoholic husband (who is my x husband) but we were married while he continued to relapse and then go thru sober times, and drinking times on and on.... Best wishes to you and yours
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Old 07-23-2009, 02:43 PM
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SpicaRigel SpicaRigel is offline
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Ronsbaby is right...check out Alanon, its a great help! And Stepchat...now i go there sometimes and they are supportive also.
Only your son can say if he is an alcoholic or not. There is much denial about this disease.
Try Alanon and keep an open mind!
Dana
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