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When the Relationship is Over... This forum is about discussing your thoughts, feelings and issues now that you and your incarcerated (or formerly incarcerated) loved one are no longer together. (This forum is NOT for bashing - please read the rules before posting.)

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  #1  
Old 09-08-2019, 06:53 AM
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Default After all that--now it shatters?

I dont understand...! yeah our relationship was tumaltuous in general but I did believe we had a connection. When he was in county and still here, it sort of crystalized for me--even though things were now 1000x more difficult, thats where my heart was. It was more important to go see him for 30 min visitation on Sat. evening than going to the club or whatever. I had 0 experience with the dept of criminal justice, no idea how it all worked. I got a crash course though! I showed his mom how to set up jpay, blah blah...
He was locked up a little over 2 years and of course it sucked but since we were forced to communicate via letters and phone calls it seemed like we got to bond in a way we wouldnt have under normal circumstances. Hell, we even filled out this quiz book for couples. So cheesy, but we did it. I got a call from him nearly everyday, at least once (excpet during lockdowns or brief bit when I was super broke) Even having trust issues, I'm dumbfounded as to his endless doubt of me.
But when he got his release date we talked excitedly about it. I was happy, thought he was as well. Over the last few months... His aggression was escalating to another level and these bad times got more and more frequent.
Accusing me of one misdeed after another, (when I know I didnt betray him). I dont know how much of his, now much exascerbated issues are due to the whole instilutionalized mindset. He doesnt think he needs help, the idea only bolstered his hostility towards me.
Now its over & I dont know...!? Things are no longer even fixable. After all that??!! This sucks!
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Old 09-08-2019, 08:58 AM
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I'm sorry, but the positive thing is that you won't be subjected to his abuse any longer. Stay strong and take care of yourself.
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Old 09-08-2019, 03:52 PM
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How long did he serve? 2 years? I'm not minimizing your or his experience, this journey sucks no matter how long or short. But I don't believe 2 years is long enough to develop institutionalization to much of a degree unless he already had some sort of issue to begin with. JMHO (bipolar, you said in an early post) Therefore, there is no excuse for his treatment of you. I know it hurts, and I'm sorry you're going through this Sometimes things that happen are a blessing in disguise Pick yourself up, dust yourself off & Take care of YOU, focus on your needs for a while
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Old 09-08-2019, 05:33 PM
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I apologize that you had to go through this type of suffering. I wouldn't beat myself up over any of this at all, after his actions towards you. That's enough 'RED' to allow you to know that if this relationship would of continued. Things would have gotten way worse, and with that it would of ended very terribly. So hold your head up high and dust yourself completely off. Continue to move forward with your life all together. Hurt doesn't last forever it eventually goes away. Just never let the pain control YOU! Heal yourself and move on from this entire experience (take from it the lesson you've learned).
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Old 09-08-2019, 06:08 PM
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But when he got his release date we talked excitedly about it. I was happy, thought he was as well. Over the last few months... His aggression was escalating to another level and these bad times got more and more frequent.
Accusing me of one misdeed after another, (when I know I didnt betray him). I dont know how much of his, now much exascerbated issues are due to the whole instilutionalized mindset. He doesnt think he needs help, the idea only bolstered his hostility towards me.
Now its over & I dont know...!? Things are no longer even fixable. After all that??!! This sucks![/quote]

So, he's out now, correct?

Have you ever done something that you didn't want a loved one to know about yet it ate you from the inside out, causing you to seem moody, distant and or easily angered? To me, it sounds like your man may have been acting out through having a guilty conscious... it's not your fault! His character, his ways, beliefs and or reasons for doing whatever he's doing or not doing isn't any fault of yours - you chose to stick by this man, while he was incarcerated, because it's where your heart was - that's never going to go unforgotten. He probably has many internal hurtles to get through before he is the best slice of cake, for you or anyone for that matter.
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Old 09-08-2019, 06:21 PM
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The first impression I had when reading your post was ‘this man is abusive and has serious anger issues.’ Whatever he put you thru while he was locked up would have been 10 times worse once he was released and there weren’t any bars between his fists and your face. Count yourself lucky to be released from this dangerous relationship.
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Old 09-08-2019, 06:39 PM
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Hugs. What a difficult situation. My heart hurts that you are going through this as when any relationship ends it's painful and can feel like the emotion and its intensity will go on forever. But alas, nothing lasts forever and this too shal pass.

When men or women get out it can be an incredibly difficult transition. This however does not mean that the treatment you received was acceptable. When we are in a difficult situation we need to be even more mindful how we react, project or treat our partners. The unfortunate situation is you may never know what the hell just happened. He may have been doing things that didn't agree with your relationship and projecting his poor behavior and choices on you. He could have had too much difficulty adjusting and pushed you away in fear of rejection, or pain. He could have just not known what the hell was going on and took it out on you. Either way, what would it matter if you knew the reasoning? Would you take him back? Would you be understanding and allow that sort of treatment? This is going to hurt. You do not deserve that kind of treatment.So, do your best to honor your feelings and move forward with your own journey.
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Old 09-08-2019, 07:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LuvmyCandyCaneman View Post
I dont understand...! yeah our relationship was tumaltuous in general but I did believe we had a connection. When he was in county and still here, it sort of crystalized for me--even though things were now 1000x more difficult, thats where my heart was. It was more important to go see him for 30 min visitation on Sat. evening than going to the club or whatever. I had 0 experience with the dept of criminal justice, no idea how it all worked. I got a crash course though! I showed his mom how to set up jpay, blah blah...
He was locked up a little over 2 years and of course it sucked but since we were forced to communicate via letters and phone calls it seemed like we got to bond in a way we wouldnt have under normal circumstances. Hell, we even filled out this quiz book for couples. So cheesy, but we did it. I got a call from him nearly everyday, at least once (excpet during lockdowns or brief bit when I was super broke) Even having trust issues, I'm dumbfounded as to his endless doubt of me.
But when he got his release date we talked excitedly about it. I was happy, thought he was as well. Over the last few months... His aggression was escalating to another level and these bad times got more and more frequent.
Accusing me of one misdeed after another, (when I know I didnt betray him). I dont know how much of his, now much exascerbated issues are due to the whole instilutionalized mindset. He doesnt think he needs help, the idea only bolstered his hostility towards me.
Now its over & I dont know...!? Things are no longer even fixable. After all that??!! This sucks!
I thought of you all today (that have men inside, men getting out, men you’ve broken up with, MWIs) while watching a movie and I heard this woman say something to her son that left such an impression on me I actually went on line, found the script, the lines that were quoted and copied them just for all of you. The movie is called “Indignation”. It came out in 2016. It’s a good movie, but god, it is sad as h#ll and to some degree there is a lot of good stuff said that is of Jewish wisdom/philosophy and you’d do well to consider it just now, LuvmyCandyCaneman. The lines I’m sharing with you are to do with a mother’s advice and concern for her son who is in college and in love with a young woman (she’d slit her wrist when younger and suffered much in the mental sense) whom he met there at school.

Markie, the world is full of young
women who have not slit any wrists -
who have slit nothing.
They exist by the millions.
Find one of them.
She can be a Gentile,
she can be anything.
This is 1951. You don't live in
the old world. Why should you.
Date anyone you want,
marry anyone you want,
do whatever you want
with whoever you choose...
as long as she's never put
a razor to herself.
A girl so wounded
as to do such a thing
will wipe out everything before
your life has even begun
.
Ma, you don't understand.
It's not as serious
a relationship as you think.
Serious?
She is serious for you,
because she is suffering,
she is weak.
And weak people, Markie,
weak people are not harmless.
Their weakness
is their strength.
A person so unstable
is a menace to you
, Markie.
And she is a beautiful young
woman, she looks like a goddess.

And that last part that’s underlined and in bold type, that’s the part you can’t see that I can see because of all the time I did inside prison (18 years in TDCJ) and…..I’m probably older than you (58) so, I see things from a different perspective than some. Still………..”weak people, LuvmyCandyCaneman, weak people are not harmless. Their weakness is their strength. A person so unstable is a menace to you.” That’s what happened to you and thank god that’s all that happened. You’re better off without him. It’s time to move on. There’s more fish in the sea. AND YOU’RE WORTH IT.
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Last edited by Firebrand; 09-08-2019 at 07:28 PM.. Reason: grammer
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  #9  
Old 09-08-2019, 08:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LuvmyCandyCaneman View Post
I dont understand...! yeah our relationship was tumaltuous in general but I did believe we had a connection. When he was in county and still here, it sort of crystalized for me--even though things were now 1000x more difficult, thats where my heart was. It was more important to go see him for 30 min visitation on Sat. evening than going to the club or whatever. I had 0 experience with the dept of criminal justice, no idea how it all worked. I got a crash course though! I showed his mom how to set up jpay, blah blah...
He was locked up a little over 2 years and of course it sucked but since we were forced to communicate via letters and phone calls it seemed like we got to bond in a way we wouldnt have under normal circumstances. Hell, we even filled out this quiz book for couples. So cheesy, but we did it. I got a call from him nearly everyday, at least once (excpet during lockdowns or brief bit when I was super broke) Even having trust issues, I'm dumbfounded as to his endless doubt of me.
But when he got his release date we talked excitedly about it. I was happy, thought he was as well. Over the last few months... His aggression was escalating to another level and these bad times got more and more frequent.
Accusing me of one misdeed after another, (when I know I didnt betray him). I dont know how much of his, now much exascerbated issues are due to the whole instilutionalized mindset. He doesnt think he needs help, the idea only bolstered his hostility towards me.
Now its over & I dont know...!? Things are no longer even fixable. After all that??!! This sucks!
Where you guys together before he was incarcerated? You mentioned when he was in county so I'm just curious.
I think that being stuck in there and them having no clue as to what is going on in our lives does have a big affected on them.
I know my guy, when we where still able to talk when he was in the county jail would always please dont sleep with anyone. If I just like mentioned a funny thing that happened at work and a Male person I worked with had anything to do with it.
I'm so sorry that it is over for you. That really stinks. Hopefully he will calm down and come to his senses and call you.
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Old 09-08-2019, 08:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by patchouli View Post
How long did he serve? 2 years? I'm not minimizing your or his experience, this journey sucks no matter how long or short. But I don't believe 2 years is long enough to develop institutionalization to much of a degree unless he already had some sort of issue to begin with. JMHO (bipolar, you said in an early post) Therefore, there is no excuse for his treatment of you. I know it hurts, and I'm sorry you're going through this Sometimes things that happen are a blessing in disguise Pick yourself up, dust yourself off & Take care of YOU, focus on your needs for a while
I think that depends on the person I believe some can become institutional-lised quicker then others. It depends on each person's personality and how the adapt. I know my husband is one who can become institutional very quick because of his PTSD and other mental disorders that he has.
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Old 09-09-2019, 09:40 AM
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Quote:
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I think that depends on the person I believe some can become institutional-lised quicker then others. It depends on each person's personality and how the adapt. I know my husband is one who can become institutional very quick because of his PTSD and other mental disorders that he has.
Yes'm, that's exactly what I said: I don't believe 2 years is long enough to develop institutionalization to much of a degree unless he already had some sort of issue to begin with. JMHO

Your LO had PTSD pre-incarceration; LuvmyCandyCaneman's LO was bipolar pre-incarceration. Prison most likely exasperates these conditions, but it would be impossible to say what percent is institutionalization and what percent is pre-exisitng. But all that's beside the point that his behavior towards her is unacceptable.
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Old 09-09-2019, 12:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Meg_fos89 View Post
Where you guys together before he was incarcerated? You mentioned when he was in county so I'm just curious.
I think that being stuck in there and them having no clue as to what is going on in our lives does have a big affected on them.
I know my guy, when we where still able to talk when he was in the county jail would always please dont sleep with anyone. If I just like mentioned a funny thing that happened at work and a Male person I worked with had anything to do with it.
I'm so sorry that it is over for you. That really stinks. Hopefully he will calm down and come to his senses and call you.
Yes we had been off and on for the last year and a half. Now is different, i think its over.
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Old 09-09-2019, 05:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LuvmyCandyCaneman View Post
I dont understand...! yeah our relationship was tumaltuous in general but I did believe we had a connection. When he was in county and still here, it sort of crystalized for me--even though things were now 1000x more difficult, thats where my heart was. It was more important to go see him for 30 min visitation on Sat. evening than going to the club or whatever. I had 0 experience with the dept of criminal justice, no idea how it all worked. I got a crash course though! I showed his mom how to set up jpay, blah blah...
He was locked up a little over 2 years and of course it sucked but since we were forced to communicate via letters and phone calls it seemed like we got to bond in a way we wouldnt have under normal circumstances. Hell, we even filled out this quiz book for couples. So cheesy, but we did it. I got a call from him nearly everyday, at least once (excpet during lockdowns or brief bit when I was super broke) Even having trust issues, I'm dumbfounded as to his endless doubt of me.
But when he got his release date we talked excitedly about it. I was happy, thought he was as well. Over the last few months... His aggression was escalating to another level and these bad times got more and more frequent.
Accusing me of one misdeed after another, (when I know I didnt betray him). I dont know how much of his, now much exascerbated issues are due to the whole instilutionalized mindset. He doesnt think he needs help, the idea only bolstered his hostility towards me.
Now its over & I dont know...!? Things are no longer even fixable. After all that??!! This sucks!



Yeah...sometimes, even after all that, it breaks down and it's done.


As hard as it is, the amount of stress of the bad times sounds like it was ultimately at least as damaging to you as his love was helpful to you.


It sucks. But life goes on. Things get better.


This is your chance to go to the club. Guilt-free. (Or if the club isn't for you, to do whatever it is that you enjoy.)


Be happy. Be with someone who loves you for you, trusts you, who you trust, and where you're not wondering "why are they being so hostile toward me?" That isn't love, my friend. That's an indication of a broken person.


I saw something that Firebrand posted earlier in this thread talking about how a weak person can have a strong negative pull on a person. A lot of times that sort of anger is a way to mask a personal weakness or insecurity. It wasn't worded exactly that way, but that was the general idea.


I'm sorry that you are hurting. I understand how much it sucks. I wish you future happiness, success and love.


-Eric
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Old 09-09-2019, 05:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by patchouli View Post
Yes'm, that's exactly what I said: I don't believe 2 years is long enough to develop institutionalization to much of a degree unless he already had some sort of issue to begin with. JMHO

Your LO had PTSD pre-incarceration; LuvmyCandyCaneman's LO was bipolar pre-incarceration. Prison most likely exasperates these conditions, but it would be impossible to say what percent is institutionalization and what percent is pre-exisitng. But all that's beside the point that his behavior towards her is unacceptable.
Yes PTS along with major depression disorder and general anxiety. He had been doing well after years of treatment for his disorders we had finally thought we got a head of it until our son died from SIDS. Within two weeks he was in jail.
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Old 09-09-2019, 05:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LuvmyCandyCaneman View Post
Yes we had been off and on for the last year and a half. Now is different, i think its over.
I'm so sorry your going through this. Loving someone who doesn't love themself is a nearly impossible battle to win.
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Old 09-10-2019, 04:40 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Meg_fos89 View Post
Yes PTS along with major depression disorder and general anxiety. He had been doing well after years of treatment for his disorders we had finally thought we got a head of it until our son died from SIDS. Within two weeks he was in jail.
Oh my God, Meg_fos89! How terrible, I am truly sorry for your loss.
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Old 09-10-2019, 06:23 AM
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Oh my God, Meg_fos89! How terrible, I am truly sorry for your loss.
Thank you for your kind words this has definitely been a year to remember.
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Old 09-12-2019, 09:16 PM
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Yeah I couldn’t believe it either.
2 years for me as well, and my guy and I were close like you’ve described.
I never in a million years thought it would end like it did.
We were so close, so in love— so I thought.
Well I guess we were, but when he got out he turned into someone I didn’t know or recognize anymore- the man I knew in prison was a ghost- I still miss him sometimes.

Not gonna lie, this is going to be awful for a while, but you will move on and be happy again xo
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