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Adult Children and Siblings of Inmates For Adult Children, brothers and sisters of prisoners

View Poll Results: Biggest obstacles your released sibling will face?
Employment 227 61.52%
Finding living accomodation 51 13.82%
Emotional- low self-worth, depression, dealing with crowds etc 114 30.89%
Reconnecting with family, friends 64 17.34%
Everyday routines-money management,making own decisions etc. 120 32.52%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 369. You may not vote on this poll

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  #76  
Old 03-01-2009, 02:13 PM
rudegirlwicked rudegirlwicked is offline
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Just like many of you I wanted to vote on all of them but since I could only choose one I picked reconnecting with family. My brother has three children by three different women the oldest is 16. He has very little to no cotact with any of them. He talks about getting out and moving closer to them so start a relationship. What he fails to realize is, they may not want the same thing from him. There have been alot of people hurt over his decisions and choices made. I can honestly say my brother has alot of talents and the other items won't be that big of a deal for someone like him. What he needs to realize is this is going to be a hard, uphill battle, but to remember that no matter what, I will be there for him every step of the way.
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  #77  
Old 03-14-2009, 10:25 AM
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My man needs to learn that people,places,and things have an extreme impact on his decision making,and that he just needs to find alternatives to all of those old habits.He also needs to learn how to stay out of his mind because it's truly evident that it's not his best friend.
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  #78  
Old 06-27-2009, 03:27 AM
EveBarr EveBarr is offline
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I wholeheartedly agree with you. Especially in my case where my brother is 1000 miles away from ANY family members and both of his children (ages 13 & 11) have lost both their Father (my brother) and Mother and have been wards of the state since they were very young.
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  #79  
Old 06-27-2009, 03:37 AM
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Default my son

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Originally Posted by aztkgirl View Post
My brother's biggest obstacle will be, staying off drugs. Meth is his demon, and I hope that this time around things will be different. His mentality however has not changed. You know how guys say they are going to do things differently when they get out... well he doesnt even do that. He just says that he is who he is and thats that.

He gets released this month. For anyone who has or is living with a loved one on this drug, you know how difficult, dangerous, and stessfull it is.. Wish us well.
my son was hooked on meth,he got off it only by going to heroin. my son is in prison now for two years.i pray this time hell learn his lesson. my son also said he is what he is. i will pray for your brother.
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  #80  
Old 07-18-2009, 01:40 AM
eric_1976 eric_1976 is offline
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Hi My names eric.Been looking at the sight and i got a ?,my youngest brother is in gib lewis for 3 years .He will hopefully get parole in 2011 .He is a sexoffender ,and i was wondering does anyone think he might get to come home to oklahoma ?He took a deal the girl was 15 he was 19 .And he got the 3 year thing .He knows he has messed up his life by this and i hope he can gte out and try and rebuild what life he may have.I write to him and try and keep him up but its hard our family has turned there backs on him.But i think everyone needs someone has anyone been in my place ?Any help or advice is welcome thanks .
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  #81  
Old 07-18-2009, 10:15 AM
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My brother was recently released and seems to be transitioning pretty well. He does have some problems allowing others to see his emotions. To survive in prison, he quickly learned to put on "the mask" and not show emotion.
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  #82  
Old 08-18-2009, 02:13 AM
twingrammie twingrammie is offline
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Default Excited and Scared

My brother is getting released in November this year after 18 years in Kingston Penn.
I am scared and excited. I have talked to him every week since he went in, in fact I am the only one in my whole family that has.
They say he is schizophrenic and have him on meds, he plans to stop taking them when he gets out which I am scared about. I know he had a temper problem before he went in but would not say he was schizo. I think that happened to him from being there for so long. I suggested that he stay on the meds when he gets out just until he adjusts to his new life. He told me that nothing can get him angry while taking them so I hope he does continue.
I know everything on the pole is going to be a concern for him. I do not have the room for him to permanenly reside with me but will let him stay until we get things sorted for him.
I talked with his councellor at the prison and he said they are going to start the steps required for him to get a disability pension based on him being supposely schizo. I told my brother just to go along with it so he can get the pension. He is 54 years old and where and who would give him a job at that age now. We live in a small city and everyone knows his name. Finding an apartment will be difficult to.
I'm already stressing for him because of all the obsticles he is going to have to face.
I have everything saved up for him like clothes, furniture, dishes so he is ok that way but man oh man I'm freaking out thinking of how we do the rest. He thinks there will be no problem and I am scared to tell him "look you have a long record and people think what they want" He was unjustly sentenced. In fact people that have committed murder served less time then him.
But don't get me started on our lovely Canadian law system!!
Hopefully things go as best as they can. I am all he has and I hope it is enough.
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  #83  
Old 10-04-2009, 02:25 AM
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He needs to stay away from the drugs/alcohol/old friends.That's his biggest problem.He was actually doing alright until he met up with one chick and they started staying out all night partying.

Employment will also be another challenge.With the economy the way it is, plus he is a felon, that is a double whammy for him.We are looking into a program for felons though so hopefully that goes alright.We also have a friend who has two strikes and is keeping out of trouble so maby he can 'council" my bro.
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  #84  
Old 11-02-2009, 06:55 PM
Maggie123 Maggie123 is offline
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I voted for finding employment. These days, it's hard enough for someone whose not been in prison to find a job, but when my brother comes home (he just started his sentence 3 months ago and has 6-1/2 years) and employers see that he has just been released from prison, I think many will judge him and not even give him a chance.
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  #85  
Old 11-11-2009, 08:50 AM
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i didnt know u were only supposed to pick one!! haha whooops i picked them all. *sigh* my brother has only been in since may of this year, but physically and emotionally, this has been the hardest thing for me to watch him go through. he has lost everything he has worked his whole life to achieve.
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  #86  
Old 11-11-2009, 09:00 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eric_1976 View Post
Hi My names eric.Been looking at the sight and i got a ?,my youngest brother is in gib lewis for 3 years .He will hopefully get parole in 2011 .He is a sexoffender ,and i was wondering does anyone think he might get to come home to oklahoma ?He took a deal the girl was 15 he was 19 .And he got the 3 year thing .He knows he has messed up his life by this and i hope he can gte out and try and rebuild what life he may have.I write to him and try and keep him up but its hard our family has turned there backs on him.But i think everyone needs someone has anyone been in my place ?Any help or advice is welcome thanks .

eric, i am standing in the same place u are. well... almost. my brother got a virus on his computer and (i am almost certain his girlfriend did it) ended up with child porn on his computer. my family ... well HIS family, different moms, have turned their backs on him, i know my brother is messed up too, and he has been sitting in a jail cell since may of this year. but i dont see why he cant come home when he gets out (ur brother i mean) people who know ur brother might give him a hard time, because he will be registered as an offender after his release, but i dont see why he cant go home. he might have to go through the stages first. if its anything like here (in canada). they get out on parole, go to a half way house, do some programs, then get to move into their own place, or in with a family member or something. anyways, i hope SOMETHING i have said, has helped in some way... if u would like to u can always reach me at daddiesgirlis@hotmail.com. my name is tasha
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  #87  
Old 02-19-2010, 10:36 AM
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this might sound cruel to say but i thank god that my brother is where he is because he got a second chance at life because the road he was on at 19 yrs old was the road to destruction and anything is possible trough god...we love him enough to let go and let god! i miss my baby brother but at least he is going to be changed in jesus name!! i'm so thankful to know that god will help thoes who help themselves! thank you for your supportand the lord blees what you do and say... hanaa 10...
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  #88  
Old 03-27-2010, 01:46 AM
canle289 canle289 is offline
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Default trying to help my brother

Hello. I am just trying to get a little info to help my brother out when he gets out next month. I would appreciate anybody's help. What can I do to start helping him right now? He is going to need employment and a place to live. Does he have to live with someone while he is on parole or can he rent an apartment himself? What are the rules when someone is on parole?
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  #89  
Old 04-02-2010, 01:46 PM
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My brothers biggest problem he will face when he gets out is getting a job. Its sad cuz everyone does something wrong and then pay for it. I dont understand why they have to pay for it when they get out too. But i know my bro will have help with haveing a place to stay and he loves his family an friends so that wont be a problem. I hope the best for your brothers and hope that they do good when they get out.
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  #90  
Old 04-15-2010, 12:02 PM
drricks drricks is offline
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Unhappy Getting a Job

Getting a job and keeping it.
Both of my brothers are locked up.
My oldest brother is serving his 3rd bid.
This is my youngest brothers first time being locked up.

Each time my oldest brother was released from jail, he failed to keep a job.
He ended up lying on his application just to get his foot in the door and to show his skills, but as soon as they found out he had a prior record, they fired him.

I told him that he has to be open and honest about his past and prove that he can do the work. He went on numerous job interviews and shared with the employers that he had screwed up in the past but was turning over a new leaf. No one would hire him. He got frustrated and went back to selling drugs. Now he's back in jail.

My little brother will be released soon, and I hope and pray that he doesn't go back to his old ways to earn money.

When people are released from prison, finding a job and keeping one is very difficult to do because no one wants to hire an ex-con.
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  #91  
Old 05-31-2010, 03:39 AM
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Default relocation

My family moved to Maryland from Arizona to provide a place that is healthy for my little brother to get out and be a part of. We knew if he returned home to Kansas... that is where my parents live... he would never make it. so my hubby and kids got up and move. lol I am closer to him now and he is excited to get out this time. i think it will be better for him. i just love him and dont want to spend another 8 years away from him because he just cant say no.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by August21 View Post
MZachow, I'm so happy for you and your family!

Along with all the little changes, my brother will have a hard time staying away from all the bad influences he had in his life. I don't care if our whole family has to relocate just to keep him from away, we'll do it. I know that no matter what, we are going to stick by him and help him the most we can. The day he comes home will be a very happy day indeed
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  #92  
Old 07-17-2010, 10:49 AM
jeffsgirl723 jeffsgirl723 is offline
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It is hard to really say what will be the biggest obstacle since he has been in and out several times, but I think it is just getting out of the system in general and employment. Where he will be living he won't be near the same people that he got into trouble with so that is a really good start. I think him just growing up and making decisions of his own will be the next biggest obstacles. There are so many obstacles for him but I really am praying that he will get past those obstacles finally.
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  #93  
Old 08-16-2010, 06:32 PM
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Wow, all those are going to be tough on my sister when she gets out in 2 1/2 years. I pray she doesnt become bitter and angry, and actually uses this time to grow closer to God.
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  #94  
Old 09-05-2010, 12:16 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katy bea View Post
The biggest problem my brother will have when he get's home is staying away from drugs and his friends that do drugs.
Im scared thats what will happen to my brother when he gets out.. but ima try and help him through it and he has all his family to support him(: good luck to you and your brother
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  #95  
Old 09-05-2010, 12:18 AM
Mayralucero14 Mayralucero14 is offline
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My brother has been locked up for one year.. and i can honestly say that since he has been locked up me and him have become really close(: im glad he has the support of his family too.. but the hard thing is going to to have to find a job.. ill try and help him(:
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  #96  
Old 10-17-2010, 11:09 PM
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I think finding employment will be the hardest obstacle for my brother once he is released. Finding a job is just difficult in general. I also worry about his emotional health, especially since he has been battling depression since before his arrest.
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  #97  
Old 11-13-2010, 04:52 PM
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To be honest, my brother will struggle with many things when he gets out. He lacks education, he's not motivated, and he hasn't ever been discipline ever. He has a while to get himself together I just hope he will do it.
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  #98  
Old 01-17-2011, 12:46 AM
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i chose reconnect with ur family because of the crime my brother did it will never make my family look at him the same way.... he been in prison sence 12/10....and servinng 3-7 yrs... in franklin coffectional facuilty nys....thank you for listen this has been very hard to talk bout it....
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  #99  
Old 03-19-2011, 10:12 AM
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Question Hard to pick just one

Since my brother has been down 10 years it is all of the above. He was released for a short period "8 months" and returned very quickly for the same things. He can not stay away from drugs and each time it is worse. Then he chooses to hang with the same people. Will be released 4/18/2011!
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  #100  
Old 07-20-2011, 01:50 PM
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my brother is already 67 years old. Being a sex offender (I have no idea what level he is considered) will make it hard for him to do anything. He says he's going to work when he gets out (if he gets out) but he's already an old man. He'd like to live in a monastery but they don't want old men either. It's quite a dilemma, part of me wants him to get out, the other part thinks it will be easier on him if he dies of a natural death while he is still incarcerated. At least he has health care!
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