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Now That Your Loved One Is Home... Please share stories about your loved one now they are home.

 
 
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Old 01-14-2020, 02:57 PM
408MoonGem's Avatar
408MoonGem 408MoonGem is offline
Lifer Found Suitable
 

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Default He's Out Living Life

For those who don't know, my husband and I are MWI. He's what the system calls a Lifer Parolee. He served 20 years, we met in holding cells while he was on trial and I was being sentenced. Lots have occurred since we've met, even a 6 year separation, but fast forwarding to today, he's been paroled to a 6 month live in program in a county 3 hours from me / family, and not allowed back into his home county, which means the plan is for me to up-route in June 2020.

There are days I want to share the smallest things with you all, because as an MWI, I feel the need to, but then I type it all up and think who really cares about that??! Well, this one stays...

The time is 12:00pm - I'm on lunch, hubby calls while he's at a medical clinic filling out a final application as a drug counselor, he's in the office of a dear friend / ex-lifer who has a leading role at the facility... I hear several women laughing and chatting near enough to sound 10 feet away, I initially felt a rage of envy or jealousy ((something irritating in my gut))... I want to be near hubby and I won't for who knows how long before I can afford another weekend off - which drives me MAD, yet I'm so happy for him, for his freedom, courage and self-confidence...BUT I lied to him, just now...excused myself for having to go into a meeting, when in fact, I just want him to go mingle... it's lunch time and he very well may be their next staff member - I wished him a wonderful lunch and rest of the day... I told him I'd be in back to back meetings ((if not, he'll call me every hour)) and he needs to be free of me for a while longer than an hour throughout the day....
I was crying, the entire time with a forced smile on my face ((otherwise he can tell when I'm crying or bent out of shape)) I feel like I'm setting him free... ((perhaps I'm really setting my insecurities free))...the amount of "shifts" we've gone through the past few weeks sure have been emotionally challenging. I'm so damn tired of being strong... I'm definitely taking today off - I'm going to let the emotions flow through and weep as much as I need to.

It's together a rewarding yet difficult process witnessing your loved one acclimate back into society... attention shifts from deeply focused to multi focused / distracted, you'll notice little things that change about them day to day as they evolve in this free world.... it consumes them so rapid, that they can't even notice it. I'm amazed at how much growth as a woman this has already impacted me - as much as he thinks that I am a gift or blessing, I thank God for sending me this man, this challenge / this journey.... I can't predict our future or tomorrow, it's not promised, all I can do is enjoy being my best and shed truth in each and every moment.

My hope is that more of you MWI's will share your emotional journey here with us.

Thanks for reading me out, and I am always in appreciation of comments, suggestions and advise.


Last edited by 408MoonGem; 01-14-2020 at 03:10 PM..
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