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  #1  
Old 09-09-2020, 01:04 PM
ambermarshall11 ambermarshall11 is offline
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Default He wants me to admit I cheated or not to visit/put money on phone

So my boyfriend calls me it was the last call today he told me he wants me to admit i cheated on him before the call hung up then he said if i don't admit it to not come and visit or put the phone on anymore isn't this called manipulation or what not this is just mind boggling
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Old 09-09-2020, 01:23 PM
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I know you don't really like what I have to say but he's playing you like a fiddle and mentally & emotionally abusing you. He's trying to have power over you and it's the hightest time you make it stop by blocking him finally.
You have to stop putting up with his mental cruelty and move on.
This is a spiral that is spinning for ages now and everyone on this forum has basically told you the same thing, leave him.
He's mistreating you and only you can stop it.
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  #3  
Old 09-09-2020, 01:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ambermarshall11 View Post
So my boyfriend calls me it was the last call today he told me he wants me to admit i cheated on him before the call hung up then he said if i don't admit it to not come and visit or put the phone on anymore isn't this called manipulation or what not this is just mind boggling

It seems like manipulation to me. What's he trying to make happen?
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Old 09-09-2020, 01:47 PM
ambermarshall11 ambermarshall11 is offline
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Originally Posted by MizzyMuffling View Post
I know you don't really like what I have to say but he's playing you like a fiddle and mentally & emotionally abusing you. He's trying to have power over you and it's the hightest time you make it stop by blocking him finally.
You have to stop putting up with his mental cruelty and move on.
This is a spiral that is spinning for ages now and everyone on this forum has basically told you the same thing, leave him.
He's mistreating you and only you can stop it.
Can being sexually and physcially abused as a child cause you to have trust issues with someone i didn't no that was emotional abuse is mental and emotional abuse the same thank you im going to counseling at 4 today i will talk to my counslour
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Old 09-09-2020, 01:52 PM
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It seems like manipulation to me. What's he trying to make happen?
What do you mean he wants me to admit i cheated on him he said so we can move forward but i didn't cheat on him i told him im not gonna admit to something i didn't do that would be a lie then the lady came on when i go see my counslour today im gonna tell her what happen he's like it's gonna be hard to move on but he'll be okay he's got mental issues a few to name
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Old 09-09-2020, 02:25 PM
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Originally Posted by ambermarshall11 View Post
Can being sexually and physcially abused as a child cause you to have trust issues with someone i didn't no that was emotional abuse is mental and emotional abuse the same thank you im going to counseling at 4 today i will talk to my counslour
Of course this can be taken into account. I have not enough knowledge about this matter.
But... no excuses anymore, take care of yourself and dump him already.
And don't forget, I AM on your side but I don't know what else it needs to get through to you. He's been just awful to you from what I can read here on this site.
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Old 09-09-2020, 02:45 PM
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Read through your old posts. He is like clock work every time. The dates change.
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Old 09-09-2020, 03:47 PM
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Sweetie it's the same pattern with him over and over. You deserve so much better
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Old 09-09-2020, 04:12 PM
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Think of him as an addiction that you need to address. He (the addiction) comes out with demands. The demands make you sick. But having him (the addiction) is so familiar, so comfortable in it's repetitiveness, that the addiction (him) makes deals with you, deals you don't want to agree to, but dang, that addiction (him) knows exactly how to make you feel you need it. The addition (him) will keep winning until you find your power to make a change.
You don't need to answer him. Let it go. If you want to keep living this addictive lifestyle, the addiction (him) will forgive you if you admit to something FALSE.
That is the lure of addiction, of a drug that makes you feel a certain way.
He makes you feel low.
But like every addiction, it looks like you have it in control and you dance with it.
But there is no winning unless you decide the dance is over.
This is your story Amber. It's your time. He has given you a door, take it.
Write it how you want it, not how your addiction dictates.
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  #10  
Old 09-09-2020, 04:49 PM
TheWrightOne TheWrightOne is offline
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He's showing you who he is over and over and over and over again. And you refuse to believe it.
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  #11  
Old 09-09-2020, 05:46 PM
ambermarshall11 ambermarshall11 is offline
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[quote=BearsLadyBear;7826448]He's showing you who he is over and over and over and over again. And you refuse to believe it.[/QUOT

You really don't even no the half but okay
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  #12  
Old 09-09-2020, 05:50 PM
Anna7 Anna7 is offline
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He has given you a “no way out” scenario. An impossible choice. You can’t admit to something you didn’t do, so the result is he doesn’t want you contacting him. If you “admit” to cheating, he likely won’t want you on the basis of you being “unfaithful,” and at the very least you’ll never hear the end of it. Either way, you lose. This is pure psychological battering, done for no other reason than to torment you. In the movie “Sophie’s Choice,” about the Holocaust, there’s a scene where new arrivals of Jews are being “sorted out” by the Nazi guards who are determining which concentration camps to send them to. It was standard to take the Jewish children away from their parents, and just for fun, the Nazi guards would give the parents “impossible choices.” A guard tells the mother (Meryl Streep) to choose one of her two children to go with them, and if she doesn’t choose quickly enough, they will take both her children. Hence, Sophie’s “Choice.” Your man is having the same kind of fun with you.

A teacher once said when you give people impossible choices, they go crazy. That’s where you are now, going crazy. Now, if there’s something you like about being put into these scenarios, then do continue to be involved with this man. But, your pain won’t end until you get smart and recognize his treatment for what it is and eliminate it, and him, from your life.
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  #13  
Old 09-09-2020, 06:54 PM
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Call it whatever you want. Putting a name to it won’t change his behavior. You being in therapy won’t change him. You’ll probably be in therapy for as long as you continue with this guy.

On another note, other men on the inside like to talk crazy and get in other guys heads saying there lady is out there doing all these things when in reality they have no clue. So maybe his mental is weak and is really believing these things. Also, if he’s cheated before it’s easy to think you would since he’s not there to see anything.
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Old 09-09-2020, 07:01 PM
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Up until this point, I have not made any comments on your multiple posts concerning your abusive boyfriend. Only now, I'm going to be as blunt as Mizzy. I do SO hate to see someone abusing themselves the way you abuse yourself by letting this man use you, verbally and mentally abuse you, and manipulate you. Multiple people over multiple months have given you advice on what you need to do for yourself AND your children. They tell you truths, and you get pissed off. The only thing I can see is that you must enjoy being abused. The only problem with that is you have children to think of first, before that man.
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Old 09-09-2020, 07:15 PM
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[quote=ambermarshall11;7826452]
Quote:
Originally Posted by BearsLadyBear View Post
He's showing you who he is over and over and over and over again. And you refuse to believe it.[/QUOT

You really don't even no the half but okay
What's the other parts we are missing?

If you dont like our responses.. stop posting.
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Old 09-09-2020, 07:27 PM
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[quote=BearsLadyBear;7826460]
Quote:
Originally Posted by ambermarshall11 View Post

What's the other parts we are missing?

If you dont like our responses.. stop posting.
I will thank you have a blessed day
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Old 09-09-2020, 09:36 PM
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Its the definition of an abusive relationship. Look for excuses of another behavior, and when it turns on them, get upset and say we're the ones that are dumb. You don't even see posts of things that are good news or fun from this debacle. It goes from one black cloud to another.
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Old 09-09-2020, 10:05 PM
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Its the definition of an abusive relationship. Look for excuses of another behavior, and when it turns on them, get upset and say we're the ones that are dumb. You don't even see posts of things that are good news or fun from this debacle. It goes from one black cloud to another.
Who is making excuses and what's turning on what
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Old 09-10-2020, 05:38 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ambermarshall11 View Post
Who is making excuses and what's turning on what
It’s not manipulation, he just broke up with you.
Don’t make a comment an issue.
These people care.

He just broke up. He doesn’t want you. Move on. You have freedom.
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Old 09-10-2020, 05:47 AM
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You are doing to US who are giving you really good advice what your asshole of a guy is doing to you. You are just as abusive and it might just be a pattern you are used to.
Don't like what you read, stop posting.
We ALL have been good to you but we are all getting tired of your turnarounds after a few posts.
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Old 09-10-2020, 06:53 AM
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Stop getting upset and dismissive when we dont agree or say things you don't like.

This guy is mean, rude, selfish and believes he's entitled.

Life is too damn short to deal with someone that continuously subtracts and divides from your life.

You deserve better than this Amber.
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Old 09-10-2020, 06:58 AM
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**What's the other parts we are missing? **


None. The most important parts are all out here.
Sigh. Deep sigh.
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Old 09-10-2020, 07:00 AM
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You people are so negative i won't be posting any more he's done this before it's a game to him have a good day
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Old 09-10-2020, 07:11 AM
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I'll bet $100 that you will post again. Who's with me?
The money from the bet will be donated to this Prison Site.
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Old 09-10-2020, 10:50 AM
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Quote:
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You people are so negative i won't be posting any more he's done this before it's a game to him have a good day
If you know that, why do you keep playing?

We're negative because the situation is negative. What positive thing could we possibly say about a guy who treats you like trash and you sticking around for it? But you've shown you'll stay until..

I hope you don't. But I believe you're addicted to the cycle and are too scared to get out. Like a junkie who wouldn't know what to do with themselves living a straight life. Being his whipping post has become your identity. That makes me sad. The resources are there. You have the insight and you chose to stay. I truly don't think there's anything left for anyone to say even if you do keep.posting. At least nothing new.
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