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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

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  #26  
Old 07-11-2018, 12:06 AM
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Default I found out his facility is Co-gender. I have issues with it.

He has to make a visitation list, submit it, and it has to be approved at the very least before he can have visits. Thatís not a fast process. Iím not sure if thereís a waiting period on top of that like there is at some units.
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Old 07-11-2018, 01:22 AM
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Sweetcheeks, you have major and general trust issues and even if he's in a co-gender facility/dorm there's something you've got to do for yourself first.
He's not going to stop doing what he's doing, you've got to set some really strict limits and get some help maybe from a professional source.
Nothing is wrong with having issues, we all have our own issues, but really take good care of yourself and try to get some support for yourself. You will never be able to change him no matter how much you're trying to control him and/or the situation, start with you first!!
Good luck!
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  #28  
Old 07-11-2018, 05:34 AM
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Now im just waiting for him to have visitation . so i can talk to him . its a hr visitation.
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Old 07-11-2018, 05:50 AM
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Yes there are males and females housed at the facility. No they are not housed together, are not eating together and are not in classes together.

Beyond that, others nailed the obvious trust issues that exist and that are a harbinger of bad things down the road.
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  #30  
Old 07-11-2018, 06:28 AM
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There is never going to be a time in his life where he has no opportunity to be in contact with other females. You obviously have very deep trust issues and that does not bode well for the future. You canít keep him in a mental prison.
You need support to deal with your issues
. Otherwise you are going to be a very troubled person.
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Old 07-11-2018, 07:20 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by breanna05 View Post
Yes the way he talks to me is unacceptable .
Obviously itís ďacceptableĒ because you accepted it. If someone talks to you like that and still gets called ďboyfriendĒ... you accepted it.
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  #32  
Old 07-11-2018, 08:50 AM
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Ok someone finally answered my question. Yes i need to work on my trust issue. The issue i have i will work on it.thanks you all have a great day.��
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Old 07-11-2018, 11:30 AM
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Without trust you have nothing.
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  #34  
Old 07-11-2018, 05:47 PM
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Generally speaking, when facilities house both men and women, they keep them housed separately. There may be some interaction in passing depending on the environment, but generally speaking there are separate yards and all that.


If men and women were housed together in jail/prison, more weird single people would commit felonies and go. I mean, look at serial killer groupies. You think some of those ladies wouldn't commit a major crime if they believed it would give them a chance to be housed with their boo?


As to your concerns about him flirting with female inmates, I second the notion of people saying there's plenty of access to women who aren't inmates. If he REALLY wants to cheat, whether it be for attention or, possibly, even for sex (because female guards and staff will do that sometimes, even though it's literally illegal,) he will find a way. And of course, it makes me wonder...if you can't trust him in there, how are you supposed to trust him once he's back out here? (And "I'll be able to keep a closer eye on him" isn't a good answer. I've always taken the approach with Dee that she's going to do what she's going to do....it's best for me to stay out of her way and trust that she's coming home at the end of the day.)


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  #35  
Old 07-11-2018, 05:58 PM
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Classes donít matter let me tell you a true story. A girl was visiting her boyfriend in prison. A few seats away a man was visiting his sister. The man visiting his sister winked and the other guys girlfriend one time during the whole visit. That girl got home and looked him up and wrote him. They donít need to be in a class, working side by side, or do- housed. If two people have a spark and no loyalty to their partner they will get together one way or another you need to get to some therapy to try and get over not trusting him. He sounds very immature by what he said about not missing you and your boreing. Those are passive aggressive statements to keep you under his control. Itís emotional abuse and it happens over time with little statements to make you feel bad about yourself. Get strong for you before life passes you up!
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  #36  
Old 07-11-2018, 06:38 PM
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I agree if he's going to cheat he's going to no matter what. My husband had been to prison a few times and he's had sex with a few females. Just to be clear not while with me and he wasn't in any relationships. But it happens sorry to say.
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Old 07-11-2018, 07:11 PM
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Ok . im just trying to think positive and looking forward to him getting out
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  #38  
Old 07-11-2018, 07:14 PM
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I'm going to make a new post about something else I just want to get off this topic now but thanks for all y'all replies I appreciate it.
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  #39  
Old 07-12-2018, 01:02 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by breanna05 View Post
Well my boyfriend seems to like to flirt behide my back hes done it. So thats why i have issues with it.
So it seems like you can't trust him. Without trust there can be no relationship. Why are you still in it if he is like this?
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Old 07-12-2018, 01:56 AM
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I think the OP has admitted she has trust issues and says she'll try to work on those... as well as communicate to her boyfriend about the way he speaks to her
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  #41  
Old 07-12-2018, 10:12 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarianna View Post
I think the OP has admitted she has trust issues and says she'll try to work on those... as well as communicate to her boyfriend about the way he speaks to her

It's fine. I don't think people are here to bash on OP. I think we're all giving her similar advice and insight as a way of basically saying "this is how it goes." What she elects to take away from that advice is on her. I wish her well and hope that things will improve in her relationship. "Working on trust issues" can be easier said than done. Hopefully OP can look at this in a broader context....WHY she has trust issues is a big one. Self-insight is going to help guide her on her best path for herself


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