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  #26  
Old 12-03-2017, 02:55 AM
Roumelio Roumelio is offline
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Yes true, but reading side effects may also cause side effects, that's called the nocebo effect. You need to take everything with a tablespoon of salt. In the end its all about finding the right medication that makes you feel more better than worse. If the pills you are on are working I wouldn't suggest changing things for the sake of it.
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  #27  
Old 12-03-2017, 03:43 PM
JustLilOlMe1012 JustLilOlMe1012 is offline
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Same here. He has been diagnosed with depression for years now and got it in his head that he didn't need meds. He's back on meds now and staying on them, thankfully, but I did make sure to discuss an accountability plan for him to make sure he stays on his meds even after he's released. He also hates himself and beats himself up all the time because he thinks he's defective and "wrong" and it breaks my heart to watch him treat himself so poorly. He's an absolute sweetheart and I adore him. I often wish he could see in himself what I see in him.
That is wonderful...A plan needs to be in place as do boundaries. Just like in any other relationships, you have to have something set up, Does he see a therapist in there?
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  #28  
Old 12-03-2017, 03:53 PM
JustLilOlMe1012 JustLilOlMe1012 is offline
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Mental illness is never a one size fits all basket. I have a mixed state of depression/anxiety last time they tried to state that I had BPD. Things get hectic enough as it is with me. The problem is my 10/10 although I suffer from distorted thinking I don't lose touch with reality, that in itself sometimes makes it worse when you can still recall exactly what you did and said as for me there is no psychosis involved.

CBT and DBT work, changing certain elements of your diet can work, you just have to work out what some of your triggers are. For me at least its caffeine sensitivity, which sucks. However, stimulants can tend to trigger certain people with underlying mental health issues regardless of what they are.

The illness doesn't own who I am, every time I've had an episode I've come back out the other side. Sometimes you think you wont but that's just the nature of things. It's best not to deal with your thoughts in the middle of a lack of clarity. I am a relatively successful person. A post-graduate holder with a thesis to my name among other things, and at the moment I'm working with other on self help/self care through a local peer support/resources center in my area which tends to keep my mind occupied on other people's problems and not my own.

There is a new type of melatonin affecting anti-depressant called Agomelatine. The problem is, its too new and will generally cost too much for the average American, but it has been statistically proven to have an effect above placebo. So, the effects of melatonin are actually real. This is particularly the case in the extremes of the Northern hemisphere where there is a lack of sun in winter. It's particularly effective for people with Seasonal Affective Disorder.

I find the best way to deal with my depression and anxiety is to fill my world with positive distractions, self help groups, even movies or video game where you don't have to think. Even fidget toys such as stress balls or etc. Then there is the time in between where you can focus on self-calming/soothing strategies. Doing mindfulness in the middle of a panic attack doesn't generally tend to work. Sometimes in that state of mind it can actually be beneficial to do the exact opposite. Go for a run to the end of the street and back, or get on your bicycle and go for a ride. You can learn some self havening techniques such as having your right arm under your left arm pit or hugging yourself on both shoulder blades if that helps you to sit still for as long as nescessary.

The problem with most people who have some state of depression and anxiety is that that they overthink things. Sometimes people plan out their entire lives until age 85. It's not really helpful for the situation. You have to find a way of regrounding yourself. Whether that is in positive activities or distractions. It doesn't really matter. The problem is generally related to an over-active mind and it can be cured by simply filling your mind with other things that are actually positive.

What medicine works for some, doesn't work for others, at the moment my psychiatrist has a bit of a conundrum. The only thing that seems to be working for me at the moment is Amitriptyline which is an old fashioned tricyclic antidepressant. I wouldn't have chosen it, but my psychiatrist thinks he knows better. The good news is that you can get Amitriptyline cheap under a generic, the bad news is that it may cause death.
Don't 99.9% of all meds list death as a side effect? Death is a side effect of life, isn't it?
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  #29  
Old 12-03-2017, 03:54 PM
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That is wonderful...A plan needs to be in place as do boundaries. Just like in any other relationships, you have to have something set up, Does he see a therapist in there?
Unfortunately, not yet, because it's not quite available to him just yet (might be once they decide on whether to move his case to mental health court or not), but I have been strongly encouraging him to get a therapist as soon as one is available to him and he does sound like he will do that once he's able.

Right now, he's just on meds for his diagnosis and they do sound like they're working, but, especially with his diagnosis being so fresh, I sincerely believe he needs a therapist as well. We have also discussed getting a sort of family counselor for us once he is released so we both have some outside input on what is the best "plan of attack" for dealing with his diagnosis. Then he would be able to get the help he needs and I would know the best way that I can help him stay on the right track, instead of me going it essentially alone and risking being a detriment to his mental health because, even though I had the best of intentions, my help was still just a bit off the mark for what he needs.
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  #30  
Old 12-03-2017, 06:33 PM
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Don't 99.9% of all meds list death as a side effect? Death is a side effect of life, isn't it?
Too much life will eventually lead to death.
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  #31  
Old 12-04-2017, 12:24 AM
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Unfortunately, not yet, because it's not quite available to him just yet (might be once they decide on whether to move his case to mental health court or not), but I have been strongly encouraging him to get a therapist as soon as one is available to him and he does sound like he will do that once he's able.

Right now, he's just on meds for his diagnosis and they do sound like they're working, but, especially with his diagnosis being so fresh, I sincerely believe he needs a therapist as well. We have also discussed getting a sort of family counselor for us once he is released so we both have some outside input on what is the best "plan of attack" for dealing with his diagnosis. Then he would be able to get the help he needs and I would know the best way that I can help him stay on the right track, instead of me going it essentially alone and risking being a detriment to his mental health because, even though I had the best of intentions, my help was still just a bit off the mark for what he needs.
You might want to start part of your conversation about dealing with his diagnosis by taking a look at your state's Psychaitric Advanced Directive. This is a document that has varying degrees of legal weight depending on your state that will get him to look at how he wants to be treated by his treatment providers should his mental illness become florid. The good things about this sort of document is that it gets you at a minimum discussing things, what he's willing to do, what he's not willing to do, and what your response and his treatment providers responses should be.

This is different from a general medical advanced directive in that it kicks in only when his mental illness becomes so florid that he is no longer really to make decisions for himself. It does not change his treatment should he have a medical condition that renders him incompetent (get a medical advanced directive or power of attorney in place as it is just good to have). He will receive appropriate medical care and can still make medical decisions, assuming he's competent to make those decisions, but it will help dictate how his psychiatric illness is addressed.

It should also be noted that such a document cannot be fully executed until his condition is largely remitted enough to allow him to make those decisions s for himself, and not because his mental illness is dictating his desires. So, if he were paranoid, say, and part of his paranoia was a deep distrust of professionals, then his ability to execute a document that deals with how he wants professionals to treat him would not be executable until he was able to actually address how professionals should treat him - what medications he should be put on v. No, professionals don't know what they are talking about so I won't listen to anything they say.

You may also want to consult with your local chapter of NAMI to get a list of treatment providers including therapists all the way to residential treatment programs in your area.

The more active he is in addressing his concerns and his desires with you the better. Further, should his symptoms become florid again, you will have a thoroughly discussed method of dealing with him in that condition. Taking the guess work out of it can make it much easier as you've already discussed it, and have a plan in place.

Might want to tell him, too, that the good thing about getting a therapist now is that mental health court will be less inclined to make him start with somebody new. And it looks good to the judge for him to have already started. Run it by his attorney, but in my experience, it is generally a good thing especially if you are hoping for mental health court.

Have him interview a couple or three therapists before he settles on one - try to get the best fit possible. Further, he may want to write down 1questions to help him figure out how good of a fit the therapist would be. This goes to everything from treatment approach, cost of sessions, frequency of sessions, emergency sessions, confidentiality, whether the therapist works with the court, confidentiality in reporting to the court, and anything else that he thinks is relevant. This will give him more information and help him feel more like he's participating in his treatment and taking control of the whole process as opposed to a court order to therapy and a list of therapists, or worse, an assigned therapist. He can also ask his psychiatrist for referrrals if he's getting along with his psychiatrist pretty well.
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  #32  
Old 12-04-2017, 12:26 AM
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Btw, family therapy or couple,s counseling is a good idea in general. It will help you both deal with the ramifications of his illness on your relationship.
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  #33  
Old 12-04-2017, 06:45 AM
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It is a matter of semantics. I have been bipolar for 20+ years. Just because I say that does not mean, in any way shape or form, that the illness owns me. I kick its ugly ass every time it starts to rear his ugly head.
I'm in a similar situation, it did take me a number of years to get the right tools and the right medications to be able to live a relatively 'normal' life.

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You mention getting healthy, going with probiotics and Omega-3s... If you want to throw away your money - go for it. There is no ( Zero, NADA, Zilch, Big Goose Egg) evidence proof / research by actual scientist that show these things as helpful. If the placebo effect works for you, go for it... I'm still bipolar.
It didn't work for me either, but I do know that a few people in the UK benefited from it. I prefered to give it a try over nasty side-effect from the meds I was prescribed. I've still got bipolar with schizoaffective disorder, with medication that helps me relatively well, so it's manageable.

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Your tip of measuring up "feelings" after an event/episode etc, is truly good information, but I don't recall your advising what the numbers represent. DBSA (Depression Bipolar Support Alliance) counts a 1 as get the person to the hospital ASAP 43, 5 and 6 are more of a 'chillin' 'copacetic' mood. Maybe a little more down, or a slight bit up, but not enough to really get worked up about. Finally, your 10. Here you make no sense, you're running up and down the street nekked, police, ambulance, psych hospital, all that jazz. So thats one way.
You can set your own warning signs and levels, it's just what you feel most comfortable with and what you feel is effective for you. The scale I used is relatively simplified, because I don't need a 10 level scale, -3 to +3 works fine for me. The peaks are always the levels at which you'd be hospitalized. Being on a level (-)2 means I need to put the brakes on and take better care of myself to prevent a hospitalization. I use the positive/negative indicators because for me the symptoms of depression are very different from the symptoms I get when going manic. I use a separate scale for hallucinations intensities which may lead to a psychosis for me.
I haven't been hospitalized for 8 years, I keep working hard to reach my first 'police & hospital -free' decade.

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A condition like Bipolar is not a one size fits all. Nor is Schizoaffective or Schizophrenia. We are all chemically different, it takes A LOT of time to find a solution that works for you or your LO. A vast majority of those with Bipolar do best with medication and therapy.

I agree, there is no ďone size fits allĒ treatment. For some it takes a few years to find what works, for others it can take a decade or two.

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I find the best way to deal with my depression and anxiety is to fill my world with positive distractions, self help groups, even movies or video game where you don't have to think. Even fidget toys such as stress balls or etc. Then there is the time in between where you can focus on self-calming/soothing strategies. Doing mindfulness in the middle of a panic attack doesn't generally tend to work. Sometimes in that state of mind it can actually be beneficial to do the exact opposite.

One of the games that helps me during a depression cycle is Animal Crossing, because itís very uplifting for me. The positiveness makes me smile, and even if itís only for the duration of the game, it certainly is a positive moment in the otherwise dark and gloom that I experience.


Iím really glad that this thread exists, there is a wealth of information. I hope itíll help those needing information and knowing that theyíre not alone in this.
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  #34  
Old 12-04-2017, 06:52 AM
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You're welcome, if you like that kind of game you might also like Stardew Valley. Any kind of positive distraction is great when you're in the spin cycle of a depressive episode. Eventually exposure to positive environments like that will lead to uplifting feelings.
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Old 12-04-2017, 06:56 AM
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Iím really glad that this thread exists, there is a wealth of information. I hope itíll help those needing information and knowing that theyíre not alone in this.
I'm glad this thread is a help to you. When I started it, I did kind of hope I wouldn't be the only one getting help from it, so I'm glad to see it's helping others as well.
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Old 12-04-2017, 10:33 AM
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Yes, thank you. I've learned a great deal myself.

As for the mood cycles, I thought it would be really hard for me to recognize them because we are MWI married couple who have never shared any freeworld experiences together, but maybe I should go be a look through his letters (I have all of them) to see what cues I received from him prior to him becoming irritable. Somehow, i just automatically know when his mood is about to change, just from his letters. It's like I'm enjoying my amazing wonderful husband and then I get this feeling and his very next letter he will be frustrated by something. It's usually no surprise to me. I'm thinking to myself, "hey there, @sshole! I knew it was about time for you to swing by again." lol
I'm sorry, that was a bit inappropriate.
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Old 12-04-2017, 10:55 AM
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I'm thinking to myself, "hey there, @sshole! I knew it was about time for you to swing by again." lol
I'm sorry, that was a bit inappropriate.
I won't tell your man you wrote that if you don't tell my man I laughed at it! We all love them, even when that's happening.
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Old 12-04-2017, 01:07 PM
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My lips are sealed! Lol
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