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Loving a Lifer For those whose loved one is serving a life sentence.

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  #1  
Old 02-11-2015, 02:04 AM
TaurusLove TaurusLove is offline
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Default Just sentenced 50 years to life mixed emotions questions and venting

My boyfriend had been in county jail for almost 4 years fighting his case having gone through three different trials with two resulting in hung jury he has now been convicted and sentenced to 50 years to life. At first I was extremely numb from the shock that I guess I didn't really react to it then I had a mild breakdown thinking about how could I possibly imagine my life without him being here and now I'm back to being hopeful he plans on appealing and I'm trying to just take it one day at a time because I can't imagine my life without him even if it is while he's in prison. have any of you had any success in appeals I am not sure even how long that process could take and I'm so hopeful he definitely is Innocent and I just pray a judge can see that! Dealing with a loved one being in prison is already such a hard pill to swallow but for the ones doing shorter bids I feel they can see the light at the end of the tunnel! I'm 24 years old my boyfriend is 34 and I just can't imagine him spending the rest of his life in prison when we didn't even get to spend much of it together I want to be able to do normal things hold him at night going on vacations have a baby raise a family and it scares me to death to think that there may be no end in sight that he may never come home and maybe I'm in denial but I just refused to except that and think that way. What we have I have never experienced with anyone else and I can't even imagine ever finding it again I feel it is such a gift the love that we have some people go their whole life and never even have what we have so I am so grateful and I want to be able to experience it fully in the outside world but even if we can't I just don't think there's any way I could ever really let him go. I am not sure what the journey ahead of me looks like but I know that he is the most amazing person that I've ever met and even while he's been locked up he has remained such a positive and valuable part of my life and I would be worse off without him. We knew each other prior to him going to jail but it was a very short time in while he has been in jail throughout these years we have grown something so amazing and with me being so young I just feel it robs me a life with him! If he loses his appeals then we won't ever get a chance to fully experience each other because it's not like we had years and years and years together before he got locked up and I just really want a chance to experience this world with him and it really makes me angry sometimes feeling like how could I have someone so amazing and then they get taken away from me it just seems so unfair especially because he did not commit this crime. The DAs are predators and they just want to lock somebody up just to say that they close the case regardless of the lack of evidence they had! The fact that he had three different trials should show them something and even at the last trial it originally came back as another hung jury and they made them go back into the deliberation again and again because they just really just wanted a conviction and I just can't wait to see what happens with his appeals and I hope that they don't take too long because I'm really ready for him to come home and for us to start a life together the way it should be!
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Old 02-11-2015, 09:37 AM
fbopnomore fbopnomore is online now
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I'm sorry for what happened, and I hope his appeal is successful.
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Old 02-11-2015, 10:03 AM
heretilltheend heretilltheend is offline
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It sucks that there can be three trials for the same thing. we did two, both hung, friday deliberations with a monday holiday. No one wanted to be sequestered so they went guilty. I'm sorry it happened to your loved one. We weren't able to appeal but I know there's a time limit. Wishing you the best.
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Old 02-11-2015, 06:11 PM
TaurusLove TaurusLove is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by heretilltheend View Post
It sucks that there can be three trials for the same thing. we did two, both hung, friday deliberations with a monday holiday. No one wanted to be sequestered so they went guilty. I'm sorry it happened to your loved one. We weren't able to appeal but I know there's a time limit. Wishing you the best.

Thank you so much! And yes I couldn't believe when they went for a 3rd trial they just wouldn't stop and there is no limit. I rly hope the appeal goes well to my life is depending on it! this is the man I love and want to be with but I'm just 24 years old and I just couldnt commit myself to someone that will spend their whole life in prison id miss out on so much and lifers in cali don't even get conjucal visits so that would be so hard I will always be his friend but I'm riding this out for awhile and thru his appeals hoping someone sees the light eventually that my baby didn't do this and they set him free! I can't give up on hope it's the only thing keeping me sane
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Old 02-11-2015, 07:44 PM
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Oh wow, Im so so sorry. My man and I just went through this (though only one trial). He was is county for 3 years before-hand and was sentenced to 3 LWOP sentences. Your post really hit home. I know what you are going through.
We are currently "in the process" of appeals. Which, in MA means WAITING. I don't know how California works, but here, the process is: you send your intention to file an appeal (there is a time limit), then you wait for the trial transcripts and case files to be filed. My man's lawyer says that that takes anywhere from 1 month to a year (though 6 months is normal). Again, this is in MA. THEN you file your appeal brief within 4 months, prosecution has 3 months to respond with their own brief (though usually it takes longer). You have 1 month for a rebuttal brief if you want to file one and then you wait while the judges consider it. I have been told the average time is about 3 years for the whole process (in MA). I don't know how it works out there re:time limits to file intention of appeal but if you have not done so now, find out! You don't want to miss that deadline.
I recieved some great advice and wisdom from others in reply to my "introduction" post, you might want to check it out.
I'm 4 months ahead of you in all this (he was convicted in the fall) and it is a rollercoaster. Its possible he will become his not-so-best self in the next few months. Hold on to the man you know and the relationship you have had. Most of all take care of yourself. You and he will need your love and patience more than ever right now. Focusing on eating right, spending quiet time alone, and quality time with supportive friends is the best thing you can do for both of you.
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Old 02-12-2015, 08:29 AM
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Do what is best for you. If his situation changes some time in the future, then you can reassess your situation, when, and if that happens.
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Old 04-12-2015, 11:33 PM
Mrs. I Mrs. I is offline
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I said a prayer for you both.
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Old 04-13-2015, 05:03 AM
mssirois2u mssirois2u is offline
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OMG you have been through it ,PRAYING all goes well for both of you, try to keep your head up he needs more now then before, HUGS
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Old 04-13-2015, 09:16 AM
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I'm sorry this is happening to you. I hope your appeal does go through. I'm also 24 and my baby is 29. It kills me everyday since I've known him that he's there. You have to stand strong and keep fighting.. Your man is going to need you to stay positive and support him. We are all here for you at your time of need.
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