Welcome to the Prison Talk Online Community! Take a Minute and Sign Up Today!






Go Back   Prison Talk > FOR "OFFENDERS" > Now That Your Loved One Is Home...
Register Entertainment FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

Now That Your Loved One Is Home... Please share stories about your loved one now they are home.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 04-03-2020, 01:31 PM
redtop43 redtop43 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 281
Thanks: 0
Thanked 135 Times in 74 Posts
Default Monkey Wrench

I had been writing to someone for 3 1/2 years. We grew kind of close, and due to paperwork snafus I didn't get to visit her in person until about 5 weeks before she was released, which was on 2/20. We agreed when we met to consider ourselves an "item" but I told her I wouldn't consider it a real relationship until we had actually spent time together on the other side of the wall. I didn't push her to meet right away; she had family who wanted her time, other things to do to get her feet on the ground, and now... this. She lives several states away. It's pretty frustrating, I'm trying to let this be a speed bump and not a brick wall. She told me today about our impending relationship "It's airtight." Still, I do fear this inability to see each other could change things; I hope it doesn't.
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #2  
Old 04-03-2020, 01:49 PM
MizzyMuffling's Avatar
MizzyMuffling MizzyMuffling is offline
Registered User
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Panama City, Panama
Posts: 4,637
Thanks: 4,764
Thanked 5,583 Times in 2,273 Posts
Default

Question is: how long are you willing to wait?
__________________
Follow your heart but take your brain with you...
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 04-03-2020, 02:21 PM
Firebrand's Avatar
Firebrand Firebrand is offline
The Cowtown Moderator
 

Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Ft. Worth, TX
Posts: 3,029
Thanks: 2,725
Thanked 6,587 Times in 1,797 Posts
Default

Hmm......I don't know. There's a couple things right off the top that would make me not so sure as to what the future holds.
1. She's too far away....as in not several miles away, but rather several states.

2. She's just been released and what we say & think inside as opposed to what we do under the same circumstances on the outside can change quickly and without any forewarning or explanation simply because.....new found freedom is like intense Spring fever.

I would try and be as detached as possible without high expectations.
__________________
We're All In This Together
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Firebrand For This Useful Post:
maytayah (04-03-2020), miamac (07-29-2020), MizzyMuffling (04-03-2020), safran (04-03-2020)
  #4  
Old 04-03-2020, 04:35 PM
redtop43 redtop43 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 281
Thanks: 0
Thanked 135 Times in 74 Posts
Default

I've "waited" 3 1/2 years, it's not clear why I wouldn't keep waiting. Particularly since - well - do I really have other things to do with my life right now?

The distance is, at least to me, pretty much a non-issue. It's a 9-hour drive, which I don't consider particularly far. Again, what else do I have to do right now? (FYI, I'm semi-retired.)

I know that ones mindset can change at the gate, which is why I've kept things in check so far. No "I love you's," no specific plans for the future beyond a concert, a few Broadway plays, and a trip to Vegas.

But I still want to keep things simmering on the front burner, as best I can.

Her father, with whom she lives, is a nurse in one of the Covid hotspots, so she's understandably very worried about him, and I'm worried that he'll bring home a gift that keeps on giving.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 04-03-2020, 04:41 PM
MizzyMuffling's Avatar
MizzyMuffling MizzyMuffling is offline
Registered User
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Panama City, Panama
Posts: 4,637
Thanks: 4,764
Thanked 5,583 Times in 2,273 Posts
Default

Just my gut feeling I'm spilling now... you've waited 3 1/2 years and yet she's not really including you in her life... you are making excuses. If she wanted to be with you she would ask you to come or at least make plans...now with the situation we are all in there could be at least plans... to be honest, I just don't have a good feeling about it.
__________________
Follow your heart but take your brain with you...
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 04-03-2020, 04:44 PM
maytayah's Avatar
maytayah maytayah is offline
Lil British Site Moderator
 

Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: England Uk
Posts: 9,516
Thanks: 9,564
Thanked 12,169 Times in 5,090 Posts
Default

Its not the ideal time to be in a long distance relationship, covid 19 is causing travel disruption. However if you are keen to meet up with and see where it goes then good luck to you.Who knows what will happen only time will tell.
__________________
"Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again." Nelson Mandela.

Who cares what they say about us? Because when I am with you I am standing with an army.

Last edited by maytayah; 04-03-2020 at 04:48 PM..
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 04-08-2020, 10:36 PM
redtop43 redtop43 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 281
Thanks: 0
Thanked 135 Times in 74 Posts
Default

I told her tonight "You picked a really shitty time to come home, but you picked a really great time to not be there anymore." Obviously, her PO is not leaning on her to find a job yesterday if not sooner. She lives with her dad, who is a nurse, so there's no danger of lack of income in the household.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 07-18-2020, 10:18 AM
kvinna20 kvinna20 is offline
Registered User
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Oct 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 135
Thanks: 230
Thanked 79 Times in 64 Posts
Default

Unfortunately I agree with Mizzy. She’s not making you a priority, which likely means you aren’t and won’t be. Idk why things change at the gate but they do. It sucks, given how you waited. And who knows, maybe she will come around. I’m sure her feelings for you inside were genuine. But she has the whole world open to her now and from the sounds of it she wants to explore. I’d say don’t write her off, but protect your heart too. I don’t think she wants the same thing you do.

Edited to add: I just realized this post is a few months old. Any updates?
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 07-29-2020, 11:47 AM
miamac's Avatar
miamac miamac is offline
Site Moderator
 

Join Date: May 2013
Location: ORnativeAZresCAtied
Posts: 11,784
Thanks: 16,327
Thanked 23,895 Times in 8,398 Posts
Default

It's been a long, covid-y summer. Any update?
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 07-29-2020, 05:54 PM
Born's Avatar
Born Born is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Nov 2019
Location: N/A
Posts: 790
Thanks: 416
Thanked 589 Times in 368 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by redtop43 View Post
I've "waited" 3 1/2 years, it's not clear why I wouldn't keep waiting. Particularly since - well - do I really have other things to do with my life right now?

The distance is, at least to me, pretty much a non-issue. It's a 9-hour drive, which I don't consider particularly far. Again, what else do I have to do right now? (FYI, I'm semi-retired.)

I know that ones mindset can change at the gate, which is why I've kept things in check so far. No "I love you's," no specific plans for the future beyond a concert, a few Broadway plays, and a trip to Vegas.

But I still want to keep things simmering on the front burner, as best I can.

Her father, with whom she lives, is a nurse in one of the Covid hotspots, so she's understandably very worried about him, and I'm worried that he'll bring home a gift that keeps on giving.

I'm sorry to say this but I'm already seeing a lot of red flags in your relationship with her.


Also you've told us that you're semi retired but didn't specify her age not that it's any of our business but if she's much younger than you are and if she sees that she'll have to struggle financially she might try to find someone else both closer to home and closer in age. Like i said it's none of our business but it's something to think about.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 08-11-2020, 06:31 PM
redtop43 redtop43 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 281
Thanks: 0
Thanked 135 Times in 74 Posts
Default Update

So it's about four months since I last posted.

Things are going relatively well with her. She got a job - well, actually two jobs, she wanted to be busy and independent but I think the combination of the two jobs is more than she really wanted.

We don't talk that often, which is an adjustment for me (in my last serious relationship we talked literally for hours every day) but we text almost every day.

We've agreed to meet when her county goes to "Low Risk" on the official state standards for COVID-19.

To answer another question, yes she is quite a bit younger than me, but I was a little puzzled about the suggestion that she would "have to struggle financially." I wouldn't have retired if I couldn't afford to live comfortably. If anything, it is the reverse, I am a little bit cautious that she might be more interested in me because I'm well-off, but she's never hinted at anything other than wanting to work.

We did have one rather precious, if somewhat fleeting moment, we were FaceTiming and I was discussing another of my penpals who has been released (I have always been totally transparent with her about the other girls I was writing to) and I can't remember the exact focus of the conversation but I said "Not every 20-something girl wants to marry a much older guy" and she smiled and waved her hand, as though to say "Me Me, I Do."

I guess we'll see. Certainly nothing has gotten worse in the past four months. I do send her some money but not so much as to make her pretend to like me just for the money.

Hopefully I'll see her again before too much longer.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 08-12-2020, 06:21 AM
MizzyMuffling's Avatar
MizzyMuffling MizzyMuffling is offline
Registered User
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Panama City, Panama
Posts: 4,637
Thanks: 4,764
Thanked 5,583 Times in 2,273 Posts
Default

Welcome to your new sugar-daddy life... She's so obvious... disgusting.
__________________
Follow your heart but take your brain with you...
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to MizzyMuffling For This Useful Post:
Lifetime30 (08-12-2020)
  #13  
Old 08-12-2020, 09:06 PM
Lifetime30's Avatar
Lifetime30 Lifetime30 is offline
Registered User
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Dec 2019
Location: United States
Posts: 233
Thanks: 158
Thanked 145 Times in 90 Posts
Default

Something is off. You have waited years to see this woman. And now you are waiting even longer because of covid. Tuh! If she was that interested she would tell you to put on a mask and make your way there. Stop sending her money. Especially if she work 2 jobs. You have provided enough for her. Find someone who can help you not take from you. Good luck
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Lifetime30 For This Useful Post:
maytayah (08-13-2020), MizzyMuffling (08-13-2020)
  #14  
Old 08-13-2020, 09:10 PM
Visitor611 Visitor611 is offline
Until the end
 

Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Oregon
Posts: 337
Thanks: 257
Thanked 584 Times in 234 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by redtop43 View Post
So it's about four months since I last posted.

Things are going relatively well with her. She got a job - well, actually two jobs, she wanted to be busy and independent but I think the combination of the two jobs is more than she really wanted.

We don't talk that often, which is an adjustment for me (in my last serious relationship we talked literally for hours every day) but we text almost every day.

We've agreed to meet when her county goes to "Low Risk" on the official state standards for COVID-19.

To answer another question, yes she is quite a bit younger than me, but I was a little puzzled about the suggestion that she would "have to struggle financially." I wouldn't have retired if I couldn't afford to live comfortably. If anything, it is the reverse, I am a little bit cautious that she might be more interested in me because I'm well-off, but she's never hinted at anything other than wanting to work.

We did have one rather precious, if somewhat fleeting moment, we were FaceTiming and I was discussing another of my penpals who has been released (I have always been totally transparent with her about the other girls I was writing to) and I can't remember the exact focus of the conversation but I said "Not every 20-something girl wants to marry a much older guy" and she smiled and waved her hand, as though to say "Me Me, I Do."

I guess we'll see. Certainly nothing has gotten worse in the past four months. I do send her some money but not so much as to make her pretend to like me just for the money.

Hopefully I'll see her again before too much longer.
Oh no... redtop.. Why are you sending money if she's working two jobs. Have you asked yourself the question of why a 20-something year old girl wants to marry a much older man? I'm sure its fun for you though. You're going to find she keeps putting your meeting further into the future or has excuses. It keeps you hooked right? Keeps that money flow going.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Visitor611 For This Useful Post:
WeepingWillow (08-23-2020)
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Monkey Cake??? sweets79 Cooking & Recipes 5 10-02-2005 10:33 PM


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 02:49 AM.
Copyright © 2001- 2019 Prison Talk Online
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Website Design & Custom vBulletin Skins by: Relivo Media
Message Board Statistics