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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

View Poll Results: Whats your BIGGEST fear that you have?
That he will cheat (either on the inside or after) 153 15.79%
That he will re-offend 245 25.28%
That he will get hurt in prison 280 28.90%
Other 291 30.03%
Voters: 969. You may not vote on this poll

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  #201  
Old 03-31-2010, 08:22 PM
Ladybug417 Ladybug417 is offline
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I'm so tired of being fearful...there are no guarantees, but he has given me his word & his love. That has to be enough. I am most worried about him being denied at the boards and having to live this nightmare another 2yrs. That's pretty much it!
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  #202  
Old 03-31-2010, 08:25 PM
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My worst fear it that he won't make it through camp , hes the biggest sweet heart ever , but his thing is he can't tell on anyone , he has to take the fall for everyone , and that scares me , he got 14 months in and a yr long term drug treatment , and part of the treatment is that u have to tell on people , and he can't call me till he moves up in levels , and we don't go a day without talking , he calls me every chance he gets , and i know him to well , I think he will try to sneak a call to me , i'm praying he won't but he worries about me all the time . Don't get me wrong I love him with all my heart and soul , I just don't want him to get in trouble
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  #203  
Old 03-31-2010, 08:26 PM
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Im scared he'll get back on drugs...if he does i'll leave...and will not look back!!!
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  #204  
Old 03-31-2010, 08:37 PM
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I said other - my biggest fear is that when he gets out & has to deal w/me everyday, he will be disappointed...
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  #205  
Old 03-31-2010, 09:11 PM
waitin4mybaby20 waitin4mybaby20 is offline
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I worry about everything. Will he make it out of prison alive, will he reoffend, will he cheat on me when he gets out, is he going to be a completely different person, will he still want to be with me, are we going to ba able to make this relationship work since he does have a 20 yr. sentence. I worry about other things too, but the ones that I listed are the things that is constantly on my mind. I love him with all of my heart and soul and I don't want to ever lose him. He's constantly reassuring me that he's never going to leave me, but I can't help but wonder.
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  #206  
Old 03-31-2010, 09:15 PM
waitin4mybaby20 waitin4mybaby20 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deedee2 View Post
My biggest fear is that he will never get out. Texas is so unfair.
Amen Texas is unfair it sucks. My fiance is at the wallace unit, close to Abilene. He got a 20 yr. sentence. I feel your pain
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  #207  
Old 03-31-2010, 10:32 PM
MrsKrueger0728 MrsKrueger0728 is offline
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Im terrified his interstate compact will be denied.. we have nothing else but here in indiana.. i dont know what i would do if its denied
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  #208  
Old 03-31-2010, 10:56 PM
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i have alot of fears. i fear that he will not get out of that hell hole when he is so sick. i fear that our relationship might not ever be the same. i defintiely fear that he might not have a home to come to because it is about to go into foreclosure.
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  #209  
Old 10-29-2013, 12:33 PM
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I made up my mind that I would not marry him until I could see that he was really serious about what he promised me. He was accepted into Delancey Street Foundation and earned his GED. He is learning how to take criticism and also learning how to not always be the best in everything. Give other people a chance. He has finally grown up. I am so proud of him. He is now off of parole. The first time in thirteen years. I have a chance to speak to him in eighteen months. It has already been twelve. Mom went to go see him. She said her son really looks good and the program is working for him. So, I wait and I pray that someday we can be together again. Without the drugs and without the stealing and the funky friends he would bring around. I put all my trust in God. Just for today I will stay strong and wait for the love of my life.
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  #210  
Old 10-29-2013, 09:08 PM
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i think i have mixed fears. #1 is that he wants nothing to do with me and the kids once he's out since he's going to be in another state. That he just wanted me there for support when he needed someone and once he's free thats it, he doesn't need me anymore. That ties in with cheating when he's out I suppose. My #2 fear is that sitting in prison even though he has a short sentence, will make him brew and build up anger toward the world.
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  #211  
Old 10-29-2013, 09:22 PM
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I have 2 real fears. #1 is that we will get denied at board and not get to come home. #2 is that if he does get paroled he will be so institutionalized by the time he gets home that it will be hard, if not impossible, for him to ever enjoy a normal life. We've discussed both of these and I'm not as afraid as I used to be. I have faith in us and that we will make it work whatever happens. I'd be lying though if I said that all of my fear was gone.
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  #212  
Old 10-29-2013, 09:30 PM
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My fear is that we have both changed in so many ways that maybe we held on for all of these years, only to end up letting go once he comes home. My husband has been locked up for almost 11 years and he still has another 4 to go. I have raised two boys and one girl alone. The boys were 11 and 8 when he went away and the girl was 7. Both boys have since graduated from high school and the girl is a senior. He missed it all. The promotions, the graduations, the proms, the first loves, the first heartbreaks, the drivers licenses, the first cars, the first jobs, all of the holidays and birthdays, the tragic deaths within the family, and everything else that life throws our way. It's just been me and the kids for so long, and while yes, we visit faithfully, (yes, we get family visits) it still isn't the same as living / experiencing / enduring life together. I often wonder if we would have "made it" if he had never forgotten locked up? Sometimes I wonder if we "made it this long" because he was locked up? Who can really say because ours has been a difficult path, and while I am proud to say that we have held on strongly for well over a decade now, it hasn't been easy and we have both changed (for the better) over the years. I see so many marriages around me crumble and I find myself wondering why (and how we made it). It all sounds silly but many of the things that people fear because of this situation are far from the things that I worry about and I find myself looking at things so differently. I can honestly say that I have never strayed from my husband in any type of way because despite our ups and downs, I hold marriage (and its vows) with the highest regards.

Since being on my own, I have also bought two homes, alone, then lost those two homes (economy) but then reestablished myself. I have earned a bachelor's degree, a master's degree, and am 8 months shy of earning two different teaching credentials. I have paid all of the bills, put all of the kids in braces, landed a job with great medical benefits, and held it all down (including holding him down) all by myself. I have become so strong and independent (due to the circumstance) that I fear when he comes home, that all of us (kids included) will be strangers. I honestly believe that this situation made me the person that I am today, which is a person that I am proud of, but we had to fall (him getting locked up) for that to happen. I just hope that when all is said and done that we can find a way to make everything work on the outside, because for so long we have been living on the inside.
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  #213  
Old 10-31-2013, 09:52 PM
Panamacity123 Panamacity123 is offline
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I voted getting hurt. One day I started getting a bad feeling something was going to happen to him, I couldn't shake it for about 2 weeks. Sure enough he got jumped and ended up with stitches and bruised ribs.
Now he's in the SHU waiting for a transfer.
The good news is that bad feeling is gone.
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  #214  
Old 11-01-2013, 07:36 PM
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That he will not get out & I will get tired of waiting for the unknown.
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  #215  
Old 11-03-2013, 12:00 AM
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My two biggest fears is that he will not get the surgery he desperately needs ( it has been denied two times so far) and once he gets out he will physically not be in good health and never regain his health because he needs the surgery NOW before it gets worse. My second fear is that I will have problems getting pregnant when he comes home because I will be almost 40 when he is released. And we want a baby so badly.
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  #216  
Old 11-03-2013, 08:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by waitin4mybaby20 View Post
I worry about everything. Will he make it out of prison alive, will he reoffend, will he cheat on me when he gets out, is he going to be a completely different person, will he still want to be with me, are we going to ba able to make this relationship work since he does have a 20 yr. sentence. I worry about other things too, but the ones that I listed are the things that is constantly on my mind. I love him with all of my heart and soul and I don't want to ever lose him. He's constantly reassuring me that he's never going to leave me, but I can't help but wonder.

HISGURL2012-I worry bout most of the same things u seem to be worried bout (waitin4mybaby20;5312842) the 1st & formost is something happening 2 him in there. Then it's the fact of 10 to 12 more yrs of so much distance is he still going 2 be in luv with me the same as when he left?? Does he really mean all the words i hear bout the changes he says he wants out of life now for us??? Just seems as if it's a constant worry bout something. But like u I luv him with all my heart & soul. "This life would kill me without you" Luv ya my baby!!!
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  #217  
Old 11-03-2013, 09:29 AM
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With all of the corruption I fear somewhere someone will screw up
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  #218  
Old 11-09-2013, 07:43 PM
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I didn't know what to pick because I have a combination of 3 things that worry me the most! lol
I really hope that he wouldn't re offend but it is defo a thought it my mind, I really hope he learns some valuable lessons from this experience and takes out the positives from it, instead of the negatives. That's a fear because I don't even want to think of him coming out and then having to go through all this again!
I'm also terrified that he may get hurt, this is a constant fear, but I try my best to push it a bit out of my mind because there's really no point obsessing over it, but it would be my worst nightmare if anything like that did happen.
But for the vote, i choose other, because a huge fear is that this will somehow massively impact on our relationship in a negative way when he does get out, it's probs a stupid fear because it's only going to make us stronger but i can't help it!
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  #219  
Old 11-11-2013, 07:29 AM
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Im scared that he'll get out and turn into a bum and try to live off me. That he wont be the man he said he would be. And cheating on me of course. But society isnt too friendly helping ex cons when they are released
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  #220  
Old 11-11-2013, 11:47 AM
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I'm more worried about him returning to his lifestyle that lead him to prison. Street money and legit job money is going to be a huge change but I'm confident that he'll do fine.

As far as being hurt, I just pray about it I guess that's why I never worry. I know the God is protecting him physically so I put my worries to other things.
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  #221  
Old 11-14-2013, 06:42 AM
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My biggest fear is that he will get out and not want to be with me after that or a couple of months down the line he will find someone else and just leave me.
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  #222  
Old 12-01-2013, 02:54 PM
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My biggest fear is that when he gets out that i made the choice to go live in his country with our daughter..I'm not really sure if I'm ready to do it..But i want to cause he's the love of my life and the father of our daughter..I and still am doing as much research as i can on his country..As time goes on the more comfortable i am getting with the idea..
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  #223  
Old 12-01-2013, 09:11 PM
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Right now my biggest fear is that he will get denied for parole next month. I have been doing this bid with him for almost five years and I am so tired and just ready for our lives to begin. Everything that means so much to me has been on hold for the last 4 in a half years : getting married, having children, laying and cuddling with him at night, etc. If he gets turned down, we have an extra 2 years to do, yea 2 years isn't much when you have done almost five, but still, every day without him feels like 10 years when all you want is to move on with your life with the one you love.

My next fear is that he wont be able to find a good job. It's hard enough for a person with a clean background, just imagine for someone who has a checkered background. We may have a starter job for him lined up, but it's 50/50 chance he may or may not get it.

But I refuse to let fear control me, I shake it off and I keep stepping forward!
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  #224  
Old 12-02-2013, 10:27 AM
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My biggest fear is that he will never be granted parole and will have to serve his full sentence day for day. He has been in over 22 years already and if he is never given a chance to prove to the Board (and himself) that he will do everything they ask, jump through every hoop and pay every penny they want, he will have over 12 years to go.
Knowing that that is a possibility breaks my heart...
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  #225  
Old 12-08-2013, 10:29 PM
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my biggest fear is that he will reoffend he is has been in and out of prison since he was 18 and now he is 33 we have been together for 7 years and he has been in and out. it wasn't such a big deal before but now we have a 3 year old little girl and it breaks my heart for her to always be asking me for her daddy and him not be here. im scared he hasn't changed yet so what if it never happens I tell him this is the last time im going to stick by his side but I said that b4 so god willing he will stay out or just become a better crook so he don't get caught lmao I love me a bad boy
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