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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

View Poll Results: Whats your BIGGEST fear that you have?
That he will cheat (either on the inside or after) 153 15.79%
That he will re-offend 245 25.28%
That he will get hurt in prison 280 28.90%
Other 291 30.03%
Voters: 969. You may not vote on this poll

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  #176  
Old 03-15-2010, 12:38 AM
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My biggest fear in all of this i losin my husband to the system. My husband is facing federal drug conspiracy charges, and he already has two priors which means he facing life in prison w/o the possibily of parole. When i think about that my soul cries, you hear me ladies, the tears no longer come from my eyes but my soul. I love my husband to death, he made me the woman i am today, put me through school, gave me those words of encouragement when i needed it. he turned me from a little girl to a woman, and the thought of them taking him away and never giving him back to me is unbearable. How can god allow something like this to happen? Please god don't let man kind be the judge of my husband, that is for you to do. We don't deserve this, he doesn't deserve to be in jail, he has too good of a heart to be locked away and never seen again.

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  #177  
Old 03-15-2010, 06:21 AM
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My hubby is tough, but I'm scared to death he'll get stabbed or something. And he actually enjoys fighting because he used to be a fighter several years ago. That terrifies the crap outta me because even though he says him and some of the other inmates do it for fun, it could turn into something ugly real quick!
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  #178  
Old 03-15-2010, 05:15 PM
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Im scared that when he gets out, he'll "switch up". like leave me for sumone or sumthing. i told him and he says he wont. but guys will be guys. I am madly in love or i wouldnt be holdin it down for him.
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  #179  
Old 03-16-2010, 09:21 AM
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that he will have undone his growth before going in
that he will get sentenced further
that we will have lost something
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  #180  
Old 03-16-2010, 09:30 AM
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I fear maybe someone better might come along and sweap him off his feet. I get thoughts of what if he gets transferred far from me or I end up having to move and its hard for him to get in contact with me because of it.He has a 20 yr sentence but my hearts all his. Im there 100% for him all the way.
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  #181  
Old 03-16-2010, 01:40 PM
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I voted for "Other" / I fear about feelings....
What I can say is that people DON'T CHANGE, we can't make them change.
But they can improve and be a better person, only if they are willing to do it.
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  #182  
Old 03-16-2010, 03:39 PM
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I'm afraid that he'll get in trouble again. Everything was going so great for us before he got locked up. We got an apartment, he was starting a new job and things between us were perfect so I'm afraid he'll just screw it up again when he gets out. I don't want to think that but it's hard not too. Another fear is that he'll change personality wise. I just visited him for the first time recently and he already seemed different. I just hope we can be together and be happy when he comes home because I love him more than anything in the world.
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  #183  
Old 03-16-2010, 03:51 PM
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I'm afraid that he'll get in trouble again. Everything was going so great for us before he got locked up. We got an apartment, he was starting a new job and things between us were perfect so I'm afraid he'll just screw it up again when he gets out. I don't want to think that but it's hard not too. Another fear is that he'll change personality wise. I just visited him for the first time recently and he already seemed different. I just hope we can be together and be happy when he comes home because I love him more than anything in the world.
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  #184  
Old 03-18-2010, 01:02 AM
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my biggest fear is that life will be harder than he expects out here and he will reoffend and next to that is that our relationship will not work out here
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  #185  
Old 03-19-2010, 02:32 PM
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My biggest fear is that the old behaviors come back. This is what happened the last two times. I waited eight months and then less than two years he was back in. Then I waited two and a half years suffering a stroke and less than a year he was back in. Now I need to wait four and this time it seems to be very hard for me. I'm not getting any younger.
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  #186  
Old 03-19-2010, 06:05 PM
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I guess my biggest fear is that something will happen to one of us. That one of us will die before he gets to come home. I mean, we will only be in our 40's when he comes home, but I mean like...what if something happens and he gets killed in there in 5 years? Or what if I get in a car accident and die tomorrow?

My dad just died a month ago (51) and my grandma died 2 weeks later. So I guess that worry has really come to head here lately since death has unfortunately been shoved in my face recently.

Beyond that...I think my 2nd biggest fear is him coming home and being like "Thanks for stickin' by me all these years, but I just don't see a future for us." I really can't imagine him ever telling me that...but I guess I still have some insecurities.
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  #187  
Old 03-20-2010, 09:59 AM
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for the temptations of the streets to get ahold of him once he gets back out cause street m,oney is easy money for him. and he don't like to be with out. i hope the girls ( our daughters) keep huim straight
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  #188  
Old 03-26-2010, 12:41 PM
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Default will he change his mind when he comes home

well i have known hotrod sence i was a little kid and sence we got older we developed feelings for eachother he has been telling me for three months how bad he wants to be with me and how good of a team we'll make for his son. then the other day he sent me a card with a little rose inside and told me he loves me i just dont want him to change his mind once he gets home. HE tells me he will never hurt me or do me wrong and that he has never wanted to be so real with another girl and that he hopes one day that iwill be on the porch wit him telling the grand kids hes been with thier granny for 30-40 years. i do love him i just dont want to let my self get hurt i really think im just gonna hold on tight abd ride till the wheels fall off then get out and walk and he says when i get tired he wil carry me.. is it to good to be true? or am i just the luckiest girl in tha world? i cant wait to be in his arms

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  #189  
Old 03-27-2010, 02:58 PM
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My biggest fear in all of this is that he won't use this experience as a life changer. I really love him very much and I hope he will use this time to make a change for the better and not go back to his old ways. I would like to move forward in our relationship and eventually marry and have kids with him.
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  #190  
Old 03-27-2010, 03:05 PM
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My biggest fear is that he will come home and not be with me, I have witnessed a lot of the women that I was cool with men come home and go the other way. So I am truly concerned about this. I know that my husband talks a good game but is it true. I would hope so.
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  #191  
Old 03-27-2010, 03:54 PM
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that he's not being true, cheating, lying, using me or we just end up not making it
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  #192  
Old 03-27-2010, 04:54 PM
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My biggest fear is us not being together at all.. Scared that things might be way too differnt after 17yrs of him being in prison. And him not wanting to be tied down with a wife after all that time.. My list of fears are long.. but im gonna...Leave everything in GOD'S HANDS.
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  #193  
Old 03-27-2010, 06:24 PM
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My biggest worry is that he will not find a job that will be able to support our family. Not that he will get a PV or hurt in prison just no work when he comes home.
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  #194  
Old 03-27-2010, 06:59 PM
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Unhappy My fear

My biggest fear is that he will be under so much stress to find a job in this horrible economy that he will end up re-offending.

I pray so hard that when he does get out he will be able to contribute to our family and not feel like a burden...I love him so much and I would do any and everything to protect him. But, I feel helpless when I let my fear rear its ugly face at me.
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  #195  
Old 03-27-2010, 09:30 PM
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Ive got so meny, Like is he going to kno. our baby, after waiting all this time is he going to be with me for the rest of our lives, is he talking to other femails and the big one is he going to love me less cuz of what he may think i might do?!
This is one of the hardest things ive ever had to deal wi. and ive been thru sum messed up shit in my life. idk im really scared!
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  #196  
Old 03-27-2010, 09:47 PM
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I guess my biggest fear is that he will fall out of love with me or that he won't keep the memory from this horrible experience in the front of his mind. If he reoffended it would be a slap in the face after going through this bid. He says he has some learning and growing up to do in our marriage and I fear the worst if he hasn't matured enough by the time he comes home. Although I believe he is definitely working at it.. I hope he learns to believe in himself more- he needs to forgive himself for his past, learn from it and move forward- guilt can be a terrible punishment in itself.
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  #197  
Old 03-27-2010, 10:02 PM
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i voted "that he'll get hurt" cuzz as a validated gang member there are somethings that you have no control over and i just want him to do his time and come home. i'm so afraid that something is gonna happen and i won't know about it! how will i know? just thinking about it scares me!
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  #198  
Old 03-27-2010, 10:37 PM
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I would hate to to think negative but I fear that my love will get hurt while incarcerated. He usually keeps to himself and only let a few into his world, so I found that he's in segregation and he just got transferred to this facility! He's not the type of person to start a fight unless he feels that his life is at stake and I pray that things get better.
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  #199  
Old 03-27-2010, 10:51 PM
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He never cheated out here, so I do not see why he would in there. I do worry about re-offending sometimes, but not so much because the words he says. He can take care of himself pretty well.

I worry most about if we will still connect when he gets out. I know it will be a transition, but it is still a fear.
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  #200  
Old 03-31-2010, 02:14 PM
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Mine are that he won't learn his damn lesson! And the transition period when he gets out. That's going to be the hardest part I think.
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