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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

View Poll Results: Whats your BIGGEST fear that you have?
That he will cheat (either on the inside or after) 153 15.79%
That he will re-offend 245 25.28%
That he will get hurt in prison 280 28.90%
Other 291 30.03%
Voters: 969. You may not vote on this poll

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  #101  
Old 10-23-2009, 04:58 PM
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I'm worried of course for his safety first. Then I worry he won't be able to work when he gets out due to no work history and a felony conviction. But my main concern is that because he's so young, and hasn't been in a real, loving longterm relationship before that he will either leave me oe take this all for granted. He's only 21. I am 24. Not a huge difference but in terms of life experience on the romantic end I have been through enough to know exactly what I want and need in a partner. I worry he's not there yet and won't be when he's out. I don't doubt that he loves me with his whole soul now but young men and mature men can have very different mentalities.
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  #102  
Old 10-23-2009, 05:06 PM
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That I will lose him to the system again. I pray I don't cause I cant do this again. I wont
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  #103  
Old 10-23-2009, 07:29 PM
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My fear is that he will get hurt also. He is a big man 6'2" and solid, but that may work against him. Some may steer clear simply because he is the quiet type, some could call brooding. But there is always the chance that someone will pick out the "big guy" to whoop just to make himself look bad. My husband (and I) are 50 years old. He has NEVER been to prison before and he has his own fears of having to defend himself. I'm sure he can, but he truly is NOT a fighter, definitely not the violent type. After that, due to his age, his career is gone (long story), and now a felony on his record, I worry about him getting employment. I try NOT to worry, I know God is still in control, but sometimes, late at night, when I'm counting the swirls on the ceiling...
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  #104  
Old 10-23-2009, 07:46 PM
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My fear is him getting hurt. I know he would never put his family or himself through anything like this again and he would never cheat on me especially after me waiting for him. But he can have a temper so I fear him getting into altercations...
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  #105  
Old 10-24-2009, 01:06 PM
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it seems like im the only one scared that he's gonna cheat and i dont know why he is always tellin me he loves me and that he isnt.just yesterday i found out he has a month left i was excited but also im scared of him cheating and him doin wat got him in there in the first place and im really hoping he doesnt.he says im never gonna leave you,yourthe one i wanna be with but i have doubts sometimes so my fear is that he will cheat
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  #106  
Old 10-24-2009, 03:00 PM
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I think I fear that he will be jaded by the experience and it will take a lot of time for him to be "him" again......he is bitter nd depressed now so I try to keep his spirits up as best I can.
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  #107  
Old 10-24-2009, 09:34 PM
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My biggest fear is that I won't be here when my son gets out. I have COPD and it's getting worse.
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  #108  
Old 10-24-2009, 10:23 PM
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My Biggest Fear Right Now Is Him Getting Hurt Or Killed. It Was Always In The Back Of My Mind, But Now I'm Worrying About It Everyday, All Day Theres Alot Going On With His "Organization " Right Now, I'm Seeing So Much Ish In The Papers And They Recently Did A Piece On Gangland And I Found Out So Much Stuff That He Would Never Tell Me About, And I See Why Because Now All I'm Doing Is Worrying, And It's Not Just Rivals I'm Worrying About It's People Within His Organization As Well, It's A Triple Threat So I'm Losing My Mind Right Now.
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  #109  
Old 10-24-2009, 10:33 PM
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My biggest fear is that he might not come home!!!!!!!!!(lifers wifey)
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  #110  
Old 10-24-2009, 11:10 PM
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FEAR is all tied to EGO
let go of your fears and life is so much easier
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  #111  
Old 10-24-2009, 11:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jeffsbaby View Post
my biggest fear is that he might not come home!!!!!!!!!(lifers wifey)
i agree with you my biggest fear is that he might not come home!! He was suppost be home 04/17/09 and he didnt now he has to stay their for 1 yr!! Good thing he has 6 more months to go and i dont know if we should start making plans!!!! Thanks to the system the plays some dirty games!!!
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  #112  
Old 10-24-2009, 11:39 PM
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Unhappy my fears

I am afraid that he will lose his sense of humor.
I am afraid that one of us will die before we can touch/hug each other again.
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  #113  
Old 10-28-2009, 11:49 PM
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that he will cheat and re-offend cause if he cheating on me that means hes giving up on our family and im sure that would drive him back to his old ways!
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  #114  
Old 10-30-2009, 05:28 AM
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I am PETRIFIED in the back of my mind that he is going to leave me when he comes home... I need to get over that and I am trying my HARDEST...
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  #115  
Old 10-30-2009, 05:36 AM
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When he was in jail, I was more worried about what the guards would do. the other inmates didn't scare me.

now that he's out and waiting for interstate transfer, I fear for our financial situation and his job.
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  #116  
Old 10-30-2009, 07:22 AM
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Default the world has changed

I'm worried that he will not be able to cope with how the world has changed in the last 22 years. He says "A man that cant find a job is a man that doesnt want to work". Ive tried to explain to him the current status of things but remains steadfast on his statement. He forgets that most employers wont hire someone with a record. ive heard it a million times from former inmates that I hired. Any suggestions ?
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  #117  
Old 10-30-2009, 08:05 AM
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i have to say im scared of him leaving me the most....i know he says he wont cause when he comes home he be home 3 years... he wont throw that out... im just scred you know
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  #118  
Old 10-30-2009, 09:00 AM
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well im worried that he will b back in there once he gets out im not to worried bout him cheting he aint that crazy nor do i fear him getting hurt he is crazy lol but i do know he is a go getter and the guy that snitch is still out here in the street and thats what i fear he will go after the guy that snitch on him
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  #119  
Old 10-30-2009, 09:21 AM
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Losing him to himself because of all the demons he fights inside of him and his mental illness.
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  #120  
Old 10-30-2009, 02:33 PM
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My biggest fear in all this might sound a little bit ... hmmm, I think "weird" would describe it best. I know, most of people wouldn't understand such a kind of fear, but for my Love and me it's the worst nightmare ever.

I'm not an US citizen (European, unfortunately) - but we did promise each other once to do whatever it takes to be together, so we both are horrible afraid I could get denied for the permanent resisdent visa because of his incarceration. Truth be told, I would never leave him because of something like that and of course I'm absolutely willing to work myself to death in order to earn enough money for all the flights to the US on a very regular basis - but it wouldn't be the same ...

Stupid? Maybe.

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  #121  
Old 11-02-2009, 06:05 PM
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my biggest fear is him going back once he is home
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  #122  
Old 11-02-2009, 11:53 PM
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I have a few big fears... obviously I fear that he'll cheat mainly with his babies mom, and I'm a MWI so I fear he's all lies but I fear the most that he won't be able to change and he'll go right back... I fell in love with him and I don't want to change him b/c that'd be wrong of me but at the same time I don't want to be away from him anymore once he's home!!
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  #123  
Old 11-02-2009, 11:53 PM
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my biggest fear is that
1. He will end up back in prison
2. He will cheat once he's out or we'll end up going our seperate ways

me and him didn't know each other too long before he went to jail, so the majority of our relationship has been all phone calls and letters!!! Im scared to see how things will be once he's out
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  #124  
Old 11-03-2009, 07:55 PM
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My biggest fear is that he won't want me when he gets out because he wants to have more children and I'm already 8 years older than him. When he gets out I'll be 44 and he'll be 37. This is my biggest fear.
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  #125  
Old 11-03-2009, 09:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PuremuslimahPA View Post
my biggest fear is him going back once he is home
Im scared that once he gets out, hes gonna go after the guy that snitched him and his boys out the first week they're all free.
Even if i threaten to leave him he's still gonna handle his unfinished business

Last edited by cloverslady; 11-03-2009 at 09:02 PM..
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