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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

View Poll Results: Whats your BIGGEST fear that you have?
That he will cheat (either on the inside or after) 153 15.79%
That he will re-offend 245 25.28%
That he will get hurt in prison 280 28.90%
Other 291 30.03%
Voters: 969. You may not vote on this poll

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  #251  
Old 06-29-2014, 09:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mammaseeta View Post
That he won't ever get out...
This is my fear as well...
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  #252  
Old 06-29-2014, 10:47 PM
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my biggest fear is the fact that he is trying to get this divorce so we can move on and move forward with our love and relationship but fear that there will be a change of heart even though he swears there is no way.. and another fear is that i am going to stick by his side for the remaining 6 years and things wont work out in the end. and then i have lost 6 more years of my life but i love him so much and want to spend the rest of my life with him. i am 40 and he is 36...
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  #253  
Old 06-29-2014, 11:45 PM
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I have a couple. First that he won't get parole he was already turned down once. Second that he will cheat that does cross my mind even though I hate to admit.
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  #254  
Old 08-07-2014, 02:50 AM
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I have a few that are vying for top place: that he will get hurt, that he will re offend and not learn from this, that he will be a totally different man afterward.

I don't really know about the cheating thing. He has been super faithful outside, so, I'm hoping that trend continues. (Plus, I really can't think like that or it'll drive me nuts!)
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  #255  
Old 08-23-2014, 05:36 PM
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There alot of fears I think most of all tho is that he will go back, he is still hanging around people he shouldn't until he gets off parole, then second would be that he will cheat, or he will just up and leave me.
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  #256  
Old 08-24-2014, 04:08 AM
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My biggest fear is him getting hurt in prison! He had already changed his ways even before his arrest and because we had nearly 4 months of 'knowing' he was going inside that was enough to make him never want to commit again! It's not the life he wants! It's only been 2 days and I constantly pray he stays safe. Love him so much xx
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  #257  
Old 08-24-2014, 12:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SugarGirl View Post
Relapse is my biggest fear.
I am fearful of the very same thing sugargirl, I hope I am wrong but it's a legitimate concern I carry everyday.
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  #258  
Old 08-24-2014, 04:02 PM
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Fear is one of the absolute worst things that can control us as human beings. I experience this daily. Im scared of so many things. Scared he will get out and do something that will put him back in. Scared he and I together will once again take each other to the depths of hell with our addiction. Scared he will find another Woman. Scared he won't love me enough, fear fear fear...
I'm at a place in my life now that I'm having to look fear dead in the face and do what is uncomfortable and unfamiliar, to be a better woman, a better person, a better Mother. It's really all I can do. All the other stuff I don't have control over.
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  #259  
Old 09-03-2014, 11:25 AM
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My bigest fear is that he will turn back to his old ways i am emegrating that way so my fear is he cheating on me or he will go back to his old ways
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  #260  
Old 09-04-2014, 12:32 AM
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My biggest fears are many 1. I am scared to death that he will not get paroled. I mean I think am I strong enough to love him for 5 let alone 10 more years like this. We are far apart by states, by prison, by time. 2. That since he has been in prison since he was 19 he is now 29 and he has 5 to 10 more years left has he been in prison to long? He grew up there. Can he function out here? Will he be able to be the man I fell in love with? 3. Will he make it out here and I not baby him. I dont want to take away from him being a man. 4. Will he get out and decided he doesnt want to be with me.
I know that all these are normal fears and I talk about them with him. He reassurses me but like I told him only God knows the end. so for now I pray....
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  #261  
Old 09-18-2014, 08:49 PM
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My biggest fear is him getting hurt, or me passing away before he gets released. (I'm stage four of my terminal illness, and he still has 3.5 years to go)
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  #262  
Old 09-19-2014, 07:09 PM
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My short term fear is that he won't have family to host him so he can come home from Work Release.

My long term is a very real fear of him relapsing due to his depression when he IS back.
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  #263  
Old 09-22-2014, 02:01 PM
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My honey was locked up for 8 years, he came out for 3 months and is back in until Dec. I'm afraid he's going to re-offend, but he says different. I am anxious to see his words unfold to actions.
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  #264  
Old 09-22-2014, 03:48 PM
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My biggest fear is that I will die before he gets out. He is LWOP.

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  #265  
Old 10-10-2014, 08:04 PM
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I have a few fears.
My first fear is that he will be gone for a long time. I don't know how long he is facing because he was just arrested last Sunday.
Another fear I have is that he will get hurt while in jail. I've read some horror stories about guys being beat up or even killed!
I also worry that he may not want to be with me anymore once he gets out, if he ever gets out. I don't know how much time he is looking at yet, but I worry that what if I wait years for him and then he just leaves me because I'm not the same?
I also worry maybe he will cheat on me, so to speak. Maybe an old lover or just another girl in general decides to start writing him letters while he is locked away and he falls for her?
And I know this sounds weird, but what if he becomes gay? I've read stories of guys who did things sexually to one another while they were locked away. None ever said they became gay, but just the fact itself if what if he does something like that, I mean, it's cheating in my book...
I also worry what if he's raped? He's a short guy. He may have some muscle mass on him, but he may not be strong enough to fight off a guy. Plus he has a baby face....
What if he gets really ill and passes away while in there?
What if he is no longer the sweet, caring, romantic guy I fell for? What if being behind bars turns him into an empty shell of his former self?
What if I die before he gets out? I have this huge fear of dying in labor and I'm due in 2 weeks to give birth to our daughter.
I just have so many fears....
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  #266  
Old 10-11-2014, 01:00 PM
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biggest fear is that he'll end up dead by the hands of an CO ..... especially where he's at!!!
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  #267  
Old 10-11-2014, 01:02 PM
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I do have some fears, I try really hard not to let them impact me, and usually I discuss them with him. My fear is that he will get hurt. That by the time he has any chance of getting out we won't even be alive, or be able to have any chance of having a life together outside of those walls.

With all the new additions and modifications to laws and regulations in concern to inmates and sentencing due to overcrowding I'm hoping that a miracle happens
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  #268  
Old 10-11-2014, 01:02 PM
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Other- I have no children and I'll soon be 40. My biggest fear is that my child bearing years will pass me by. I am well aware that people give birth at older ages than 40. My grandmother gave birth at 56. But I've never been pregnant. No miscarriages or abortions. And I've tried before to no avail. So I honestly feel like I'm on borrowed time. L has children, so he's fine. He says he wants children with me, but if I can't reproduce, he loves me the same. It's a big deal to me because I want children that I've birthed. Adoption is a viable option, just not what I prefer.
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  #269  
Old 10-26-2014, 08:35 PM
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Default my inmate and I have been together 10+ years

Im scared of losng him. He tells me to be hapoy and to live. He dont want to be sad.I have held.him down 100% faithfully 6 years. He is starting to fall out of love with me. Prsion has changed him. He doesn't act the same. He says he loves me but he can't have a relations hop now. He can't give me.what I wsnt. I am lost. I was sca red we old grow apart and it's happening bc of him. Not me. I'm still.madly jn love with him. Has anyone else experienced this? And to make it worse we have a 6 yr old son togethef. We were engaged since 2008. But now it looks like we may be splitting bc of his feeljngs... sooo Confused and lost help...

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  #270  
Old 10-26-2014, 08:37 PM
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Exclamation cont.

That sounded wrong ...lol
I have been faitbful the entire 10+ years but he has been in prsion for 6 yrs and I have been faithful the whole time....
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  #271  
Old 10-27-2014, 11:37 PM
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My biggest fear is that he won't stick with the changes he has made while incarcerated. He says he is becoming a better person and realizing that his life before was heading in the wrong direction. I know deep down in my heart that he is a loving soul but I'm terrified to see him go back down the road he was on before.
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  #272  
Old 10-28-2014, 02:38 PM
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A. has been in and out of prison for the last 20 years. I fear that things might have changed so much during that time that he won't be able to cope with all these changes...
Life's a bit different now than it was 14 years ago when he last go incarcerated. And even though he always claims to be okay with that and that it will be easy for him to find a job with his college degree I slightly doubt that it will be that easy.
I just hope he'll be strong enough then to keep on living...
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  #273  
Old 10-28-2014, 02:49 PM
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My biggest fear in all of this is that my relationship with my family members will be damaged by their inability to process/cope with my relationship/who I love.
I just sat down and wrote my mother a letter telling her about my relationship for the first time. Im not ashamed of my love for him. Im confident and secure in my choices. I just don't know if my mother is going to be prepared to handle it without lashing out and hurting me as a result and like any normal human being, I want to avoid conflict and pain.
But we are getting married and it's time she knew. So, things will unfold as they do and I will do my best to be loving and compassionate toward her as she struggles to comprehend.
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  #274  
Old 10-28-2014, 05:02 PM
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My biggest fear is that I will never have the chance to wake up beside him, to never feel him inside my body and never have the comfort of his arms around me when I am tired/sad/sick/worried. I know it is all part of "the journey" and for the most part, it is worth it - but sometimes it seems overwhelming.
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  #275  
Old 10-29-2014, 09:28 PM
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My biggest fear is that he might cheat or everything he says he is goin to do he wont and then what if we cant fix our relationship. Considering when he went in 19 months ago we weren't on the best of terms and him coming home and us starting fresh and trying to forget the past what if we just part ways because we cant get over Certain issues we had before he went in.
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