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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

View Poll Results: Is He just using you?
Yes, I feel that way! Ughhh! 67 6.99%
No, he would never do that to me! 572 59.65%
Maybe, I would hurt to find that out! 269 28.05%
I wouldn't care because I'm just pasting time anyway! 13 1.36%
Both 3 & 4 38 3.96%
Voters: 959. You may not vote on this poll

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  #251  
Old 12-06-2014, 04:14 AM
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Originally Posted by JaeBella View Post
i'm pretty new to this situation but the thought of me possibly being used has crossed my mind although i'm not sure. i know it sounds crazy and anyone who felt like they were being used in the slightest would drop the who thing but for me it's difficult to do that. . or maybe i'm making it seem that way.

we've been talking for 3 & a half years and we have so much history together. i have a feeling he's still involved with his ex based off of somethings i've seen since he got locked up which makes me wanna say forget everything but then i think well this is a time where he really needs someone in his corner and i genuinely love him with all my heart. if i didn't i wouldn't be here. before he left he told me he'd need some things loke money and stuff not right away but eventually and if i could help he'd appreciate it but only if i had it to give so he wasn't pressed for it which madr me think ok he's understanding. he needs all the support he can get to get through these next couple of years and i want tl be there for him more than anything now. i won't forget but i don't care about the fights and arguments and all that i rather be a friend to him but i'm afraid that might come at my own expense. do you guys think it would be smart to ask him if he's with her or if she visits or gives money ? i know they talk on the phone so she most likely is . . its like i know the truth but im blinding myself to it idk i'm so confused smh
Hon, if he is still involved with his ex, he HAS someone in his corner. Her.
You need someone who's going to be in YOUR corner.

I can't help but question the worth/depth/sincerity of a relationship where you have to ask other people if it's a good idea to ask him if he's got another woman.

Don't you believe you deserve better?
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  #252  
Old 12-06-2014, 04:19 AM
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Hon, if he is still involved with his ex, he HAS someone in his corner. Her.
You need someone who's going to be in YOUR corner.

I can't help but question the worth/depth/sincerity of a relationship where you have to ask other people if it's a good idea to ask him if he's got another woman.

Don't you believe you deserve better?
i agree with you & i know i deserve better which is why i'm coming to terms with the reality of letting that whole situation go. it may take a little longer for me than you or anyone else but thats ok i'll get there and i'll make it through just fine.
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  #253  
Old 12-11-2014, 02:46 PM
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Yes. - After being released to roam amongst the land of the free for a few days, without any word/visit/phone call from him, yes, I think he used me, and it hurts like hell. I was the only one that stood by him while he went to jail, lost everything he owned, and as the rest of his life went down the shithole. I am just blown away by this outcome.
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  #254  
Old 12-11-2014, 03:12 PM
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Yes. - After being released to roam amongst the land of the free for a few days, without any word/visit/phone call from him, yes, I think he used me, and it hurts like hell. I was the only one that stood by him while he went to jail, lost everything he owned, and as the rest of his life went down the shithole. I am just blown away by this outcome.
AW! JBsPL Hugs! I'm so sorry to hear that! Did he go to a halfway house? Do they have rules that maybe they can't call? I hope he is ok!? I'm sorry if it's the case that he did use you, maybe you will get a phone call and at least some level of explanation? Positive thoughts coming your way.
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  #255  
Old 12-11-2014, 08:32 PM
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Thank you for the kind words and positive thoughts. - Knowing exactly where he is also part of the problem, he hasn't let me know that either. I have an idea of where he could possibly be, but still not sure. - We knew each other before he went in, I visited every month, and we corresponded often, and I never thought this would be how it ended. He just didn't seem like the type to do this, he's happy go lucky, friendly, kind-hearted. I'll give him a few more days, but I've already given him a lot of loyalty and support, and I don't know that I can keep it up. I really expected more out of him.

Again, thank you.

Good Luck and Happy Holidays to you all!
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  #256  
Old 12-11-2014, 08:59 PM
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Happy holidays! JBsPL i hope everything works out for you!
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  #257  
Old 01-23-2015, 08:06 PM
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Unhappy I was used not only once but twice.. same guy

I knew him for 40 years when we were reacquainted almost 30 years from the date of out first make out session as teens, I thought for sure this was a fairy tale for all to read. He was on parole for many years incarcerated and I was self made. After 2 month pf catching up, I got the call from his mom that his PO out him in for a technical violation. I think I could have passed the bar examine due to all the books and people I talked to regarding parole law ans constitutional law. I was so proud of myself after he was found guilty o attorneys fee and of course, making sure he didn't lose what he had violation, the board only gave him 58 days and he was on his way home.
During his 2 month stay, we racked up over $1500 for the phone, $400 for comissary and then there was price of gas to go visit, attorneys fees and of course bills for keeping what he had accumlated on the outsideliek a ew truck , house etc. WE talked a lot about my generosity and how he was my man and blah blah. So when he was released and ignored me you can only imagine my confusion and despair..
I found out shorty that he back dealing and using drugs.I tried to work with him and his PO and his PO tried but aget 5 weeks of peeing dirty he wwent back fo r a technical violation and turn around for 180 days.
I swore he would n't use me again and when he called he would tell me how much he loved me and that he was going to make it right. I didn't put anything extra into him this time. I had my own things to deal with. Like, a Cancer scare with a basketball sixe tumor on uterus.
It was 4 months into his 180 days and I had visited him about 7 times. He reallly did seem to be much more into me. To make extra money to put on his books I sold things on the internet. In one week I sold 3 separate items to thiis .lady and with that a friendship started.
She and I had a lot in common. We both were nurses. We were jsut a few weeks apart in age. I never had children she had 2 . I ntold him i knew ever was married she had 2. We both were dating the same man in the Colorado State DOC. The randomness .. The coincidence. The horror . She and I talked into the morning and then waited for the phone to ring. I got the call first. WIth some lover talk, then some small talk I told him tat i knew about her and the phone went extremely quiet on that other end which confirmed all i needed to know. I hung up and blocked the number.
The months to follow consisted of she and I talking through out everyday, getting to know each other and becoming real friends.. She told me all the things that he had said to her which we the precise words he sed on me . She said that he todl he that he was jsut using me and she was the one he truly loved.
He as been out now a week and a halfit has been very awkward ad he refuses to talk to me . She says he is entirely remorseful yet he hasn't even attempted to contact me. He has no remorse . He is n't sorrt. He is still lying to her
I want some of the money i spent back.He said no way ,, I want to take him to court for breeching his contract with me. I would just let well enouh alone but it is almost $5000 spemt.
Jodi



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Originally Posted by CupCakeLove View Post
I know that some of you ladies have been with your man before he got locked up, but some of you haven't. Do any of you ever feel like you're being used? I have talked with a few inmates and they point out the women they call "fools" because they are being used & when they leave, another girl comes to see the same man. I don't think that is right to do somebody like that. Are you being used? Are you spending your time loving someone that has no intentions on being true to you? It's just a question...

I just don't feel that people should be naive, but sometimes we are. I have talked with a few women that feels like their man is just using them and I hate it for them because they are good women.
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  #258  
Old 01-26-2015, 12:36 AM
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I knew him for 40 years when we were reacquainted almost 30 years from the date of out first make out session as teens, I thought for sure this was a fairy tale for all to read. He was on parole for many years incarcerated and I was self made. After 2 month pf catching up, I got the call from his mom that his PO out him in for a technical violation. I think I could have passed the bar examine due to all the books and people I talked to regarding parole law ans constitutional law. I was so proud of myself after he was found guilty o attorneys fee and of course, making sure he didn't lose what he had violation, the board only gave him 58 days and he was on his way home.
During his 2 month stay, we racked up over $1500 for the phone, $400 for commissary and then there was price of gas to go visit, attorneys fees and of course bills for keeping what he had accumulated on the outside liek a ew truck , house etc. WE talked a lot about my generosity and how he was my man and blah blah. So when he was released and ignored me you can only imagine my confusion and despair..
I found out shorty that he back dealing and using drugs.I tried to work with him and his PO and his PO tried but aget 5 weeks of peeing dirty he went back fo r a technical violation and turn around for 180 days.
I swore he wouldn't use me again and when he called he would tell me how much he loved me and that he was going to make it right. I didn't put anything extra into him this time. I had my own things to deal with. Like, a Cancer scare with a basketball size tumor on uterus.
It was 4 months into his 180 days and I had visited him about 7 times. He reallly did seem to be much more into me. To make extra money to put on his books I sold things on the internet. In one week I sold 3 separate items to thiis .lady and with that a friendship started.
She and I had a lot in common. We both were nurses. We were jsut a few weeks apart in age. I never had children she had 2 . I ntold him i knew ever was married she had 2. We both were dating the same man in the Colorado State DOC. The randomness .. The coincidence. The horror . She and I talked into the morning and then waited for the phone to ring. I got the call first. WIth some lover talk, then some small talk I told him tat i knew about her and the phone went extremely quiet on that other end which confirmed all i needed to know. I hung up and blocked the number.
The months to follow consisted of she and I talking through out everyday, getting to know each other and becoming real friends.. She told me all the things that he had said to her which we the precise words he sed on me . She said that he todl he that he was jsut using me and she was the one he truly loved.
He as been out now a week and a halfit has been very awkward ad he refuses to talk to me . She says he is entirely remorseful yet he hasn't even attempted to contact me. He has no remorse . He is n't sorrt. He is still lying to her
I want some of the money i spent back.He said no way ,, I want to take him to court for breeching his contract with me. I would just let well enouh alone but it is almost $5000 spemt.
Jodi
Im sorry you had to go thru all this. But unless he did sign a contract it ain't gonna happen. All relationships that end have an emotional value and then the monetary value of what was spent. But unless there is a contract, like marriage (and even then good luck), I've never seen anyone get back what has truly been put into any relationship. Prison or not.
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  #259  
Old 01-27-2015, 06:11 AM
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It pains me to say this, but I found out the hard way that my ex-husband is a user by nature. Unbeknownst to me, he was using me even before we got married -- totally used my love and compassion as a weapon against me. He straight used me after we got married, and he tried to use me after I divorced him. The only reason he isn't using me now is because I've set strong boundaries with him. He knows not to ask me for anything at this point. I fund the phone when it's in my budget, send him small amounts of money that I wouldn't mind losing a couple of times a month, send books when I'm led, and write him so that he can stay connected with the outside world. His entire family and the few friends that he had have washed their hands of him, and I can certainly understand why. I owe him nothing. He was a poor excuse for a husband, and the only reason that I've stuck with him during this challenging time is because my compassion won't allow me to completely abandon him during this ordeal. I can't promise, however, that I won't cut him off after he gets out.
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  #260  
Old 01-27-2015, 07:48 AM
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Originally Posted by Jodiod31 View Post
I knew him for 40 years when we were reacquainted almost 30 years from the date of out first make out session as teens, I thought for sure this was a fairy tale for all to read. He was on parole for many years incarcerated and I was self made. After 2 month pf catching up, I got the call from his mom that his PO out him in for a technical violation. I think I could have passed the bar examine due to all the books and people I talked to regarding parole law ans constitutional law. I was so proud of myself after he was found guilty o attorneys fee and of course, making sure he didn't lose what he had violation, the board only gave him 58 days and he was on his way home.
During his 2 month stay, we racked up over $1500 for the phone, $400 for commissary and then there was price of gas to go visit, attorneys fees and of course bills for keeping what he had accumulated on the outside liek a ew truck , house etc. WE talked a lot about my generosity and how he was my man and blah blah. So when he was released and ignored me you can only imagine my confusion and despair..
I found out shorty that he back dealing and using drugs.I tried to work with him and his PO and his PO tried but aget 5 weeks of peeing dirty he went back fo r a technical violation and turn around for 180 days.
I swore he wouldn't use me again and when he called he would tell me how much he loved me and that he was going to make it right. I didn't put anything extra into him this time. I had my own things to deal with. Like, a Cancer scare with a basketball size tumor on uterus.
It was 4 months into his 180 days and I had visited him about 7 times. He reallly did seem to be much more into me. To make extra money to put on his books I sold things on the internet. In one week I sold 3 separate items to thiis .lady and with that a friendship started.
She and I had a lot in common. We both were nurses. We were jsut a few weeks apart in age. I never had children she had 2 . I ntold him i knew ever was married she had 2. We both were dating the same man in the Colorado State DOC. The randomness .. The coincidence. The horror . She and I talked into the morning and then waited for the phone to ring. I got the call first. WIth some lover talk, then some small talk I told him tat i knew about her and the phone went extremely quiet on that other end which confirmed all i needed to know. I hung up and blocked the number.
The months to follow consisted of she and I talking through out everyday, getting to know each other and becoming real friends.. She told me all the things that he had said to her which we the precise words he sed on me . She said that he todl he that he was jsut using me and she was the one he truly loved.
He as been out now a week and a halfit has been very awkward ad he refuses to talk to me . She says he is entirely remorseful yet he hasn't even attempted to contact me. He has no remorse . He is n't sorrt. He is still lying to her
I want some of the money i spent back.He said no way ,, I want to take him to court for breeching his contract with me. I would just let well enouh alone but it is almost $5000 spemt.
Jodi
I would call that God's intervention. Thank the Lord you didn't put anything more towards an obvious user.
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  #261  
Old 02-14-2015, 08:24 PM
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This very topic came up at hubby and I's visit today. Some ladies in the morning were saying how their man immediately asks about money and if she's done such and such for him and how he needs her to send money and do things for him NOW. I just kinda turned away and another lady said quietly to me that her son never does that to her and I said neither does my hubby. During our visit, I mentioned it to hubby and he told me that a lot of guys where he is are that way and talk crappy about their women and say, "as long as she is sending money, who cares!?" He just shakes his head at them. I do what I can for hubby, as much as I can, but he never demands and always makes sure I am doing ok before he asks if there's any extra money for me to send him. I asked him today what he has left in his account because I just paid a ton to get our truck fixed and owe property taxes soon. He told me, and said to not send anything because he will stretch what he has and go without if he has to. I will probably send him $10 if I can just so he has something more. We work together and help each other. Neither of us are greedy or demanding.
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  #262  
Old 02-17-2015, 09:32 PM
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It's kind of a common assumption by people that J is using me because we're MWI, especially when they find out exactly how we met and the type of person that I am But the reality is, J has never asked me for anything. No money - nothing. He was pretty much preparing for us to solely communicate by letters because he didn't want to burden me with the cost of calls. He flat out tells me that he never wants me to put his needs above mine, and I love him for it. Even from hundreds of miles away he tries to take care of me ❤️

If we don't work out, it won't be because we don't legitimatley love each other.

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  #263  
Old 02-18-2015, 04:30 PM
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My Mai is in estelle ad seg in Texas. We met eight months ago via pen pals site. He'd never asked for a thing till last month. Tells me money is tight, he's almost out of it. Cannot eat the food, needs commissary and stationary. I've visited with him once a month and we write consistently. He's done two extensive portraits of me, both time consuming. I honestly cannot tell if this is the beginning of being used or not. I guess only time will tell.
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Old 02-18-2015, 08:09 PM
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My Mai is in estelle ad seg in Texas. We met eight months ago via pen pals site. He'd never asked for a thing till last month. Tells me money is tight, he's almost out of it. Cannot eat the food, needs commissary and stationary. I've visited with him once a month and we write consistently. He's done two extensive portraits of me, both time consuming. I honestly cannot tell if this is the beginning of being used or not. I guess only time will tell.
I am kinda curious...what has he been eating for the last 8 months and before then?
It isn't necessarily a using thing; perhaps he just feels more comfortable with you now to ask. He could have needed it all along but didn't feel right asking. At least he is asking and not demanding.
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Old 02-18-2015, 09:27 PM
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Michael's been in for 11 years and four months he said the first eight years he had money because he went in with so much and is just running out. Also the prison just charged $100 to his account for medical for the year. I honestly cannot tell if I'm being played or not the letters are the most beautiful romantic I've ever read. probably 60 letters in the last three months.
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Old 02-18-2015, 09:56 PM
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It could be true...and wow that's a lot of letters!! I guess like you said, time will tell. Just be careful.
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Old 02-22-2015, 04:12 AM
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ok ladies i am new to this and im going through some things right now and i dont know how or what to think. i was dating a man who was incarcerated but i felt he was using me very badly and would talk bout me alot to my face about how i dont show any ambition since i could not provide for him i had known him about 10 yrs but when hewas on trial lost contact with him he said he loved me and so on but i did not believe so i cut him off completely after he sent me a letter sayin i should do better for my kids and a bunch of stuff and i was so uoset as im going to school to become a paralegal and i care for 4 children a 15 13 11 and a 4 yr old i clean cook wash clothes and all of it an he gonna have the nerve to do this well as i was talkin to him i was introduced to a another inmate in another cell and we began to talk and everything seems like he has care and some feelings for me as now i really want to make it a relationship with him now that the other is gone problem is he wont commit and i visit and help him with his books and all and he stiill says 2 yrs to commit i was like wtf he says he is sserving to much time fora relationship but time dont bother me i want him and it seem like he playing with me now smh what should i do ?
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Old 02-22-2015, 09:35 AM
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OK I'll speak up for us woman that have met our men while being in prison. For me personally, I don't feel that way. That woman intuition tells me that he is a very genuine person. He actually thought I was one of those woman that was going to run around on him because I'm out here. I set that record straight. Plus if you plan on playing someone why involve your family? If he can't reach me he will have his cousin call me to check on me. That's my baby...
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Old 02-22-2015, 11:02 AM
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My Mai is in estelle ad seg in Texas. We met eight months ago via pen pals site. He'd never asked for a thing till last month. Tells me money is tight, he's almost out of it. Cannot eat the food, needs commissary and stationary. I've visited with him once a month and we write consistently. He's done two extensive portraits of me, both time consuming. I honestly cannot tell if this is the beginning of being used or not. I guess only time will tell.
AD SEG/SHU are just a different world. My man only asked to borrow 35 dollars once...I laughed when he said he would pay me back and said "Baby keep it, it's 35 dollars it's not that big of a deal". However, when he went to the SHU they took EVERYTHING, so...I sent him embossed envelopes with paper so he could write. I couldn't send him money though because one of his punishments was that he couldn't order commissary (I'm pretty sure..I remember that being what he said). Thankfully he was only in there for 3 months..they just lagged on his investigation.

To answer your question...only time will tell if you are...just look for the warning signs/red flags. I mean...it's up to you as an individual/couple if you are in relationship to consider finances and what you share.
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Old 02-22-2015, 01:01 PM
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Michael's been in for 11 years and four months he said the first eight years he had money because he went in with so much and is just running out. Also the prison just charged $100 to his account for medical for the year. I honestly cannot tell if I'm being played or not the letters are the most beautiful romantic I've ever read. probably 60 letters in the last three months.
My man had a large sum of money when he went to prison. He lived off of that for a number of years before it ran out.

And here is info on the $100 health care fee from the TDCJ website.

http://www.tdcj.state.tx.us/document...rs_English.pdf
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  #271  
Old 03-21-2015, 09:38 AM
Chapel Chapel is offline
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Originally Posted by Mag8535 View Post
My Mai is in estelle ad seg in Texas. We met eight months ago via pen pals site. He'd never asked for a thing till last month. Tells me money is tight, he's almost out of it. Cannot eat the food, needs commissary and stationary. I've visited with him once a month and we write consistently. He's done two extensive portraits of me, both time consuming. I honestly cannot tell if this is the beginning of being used or not. I guess only time will tell.
R and I met three years ago this month. His Mother gives him $50 a month and he makes that last somehow. I'm not even sure if she sends it every month because we rarely talk about what money he has or commissary. He's never asked me for stamps or stationary, nothing. I do send him Ecomm when I want to. I've sent two since we've met and didn't tell him when I sent them so it was a surprise. I pay for our phone calls and to visit him. I send him $50 for his Birthday and for Christmas and have sent a few books and magazines. He hasn't ever asked me for any of these things.

While I can't say if he is using you I don't think that men should be asking their MWI or pen pal for anything monetary. It's not our responsibility to give them money or make sure that they eat or pay for their medical. If he started asking me for money for his books on a regular basis I would see that as a problem and if it continued or I felt like he expected me to send money I would end the relationship.

Everyone has to decide for themselves what they will accept and how far it will go until they feel they are being used. If you feel you are being used then you probably are.
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  #272  
Old 03-21-2015, 09:41 AM
Chapel Chapel is offline
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Originally Posted by smplywntsroscoe View Post
ok ladies i am new to this and im going through some things right now and i dont know how or what to think. i was dating a man who was incarcerated but i felt he was using me very badly and would talk bout me alot to my face about how i dont show any ambition since i could not provide for him i had known him about 10 yrs but when hewas on trial lost contact with him he said he loved me and so on but i did not believe so i cut him off completely after he sent me a letter sayin i should do better for my kids and a bunch of stuff and i was so uoset as im going to school to become a paralegal and i care for 4 children a 15 13 11 and a 4 yr old i clean cook wash clothes and all of it an he gonna have the nerve to do this well as i was talkin to him i was introduced to a another inmate in another cell and we began to talk and everything seems like he has care and some feelings for me as now i really want to make it a relationship with him now that the other is gone problem is he wont commit and i visit and help him with his books and all and he stiill says 2 yrs to commit i was like wtf he says he is sserving to much time fora relationship but time dont bother me i want him and it seem like he playing with me now smh what should i do ?
I think you should stop dating men in prison and take care of your four children who probably could use the money you are spending on someone that won't commit to you. From what you posted I can honestly say I think he's playing you.
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  #273  
Old 03-25-2015, 05:43 AM
PsychicBrunette PsychicBrunette is offline
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Hi Friends,

Well this is a scary question!
But in reality guys use women all the time whether incarcerated or not as I discovered via internet bloody dating.
Its always best to keep an open-mind.
Like someone mentioned earlier just view it as "emotional support" for each other.
However I don't sense he's using me.
It must cost him loads to keep calling my Mobile from the Usa here in the Uk, he never ever asks for anything but I suppose its still natural for us women to over - analyse and doubt things especially in this situation.
I don't sense he is using me but my guards will remain up, it takes a lot of effort for a guy to actually get into my head.
However my guards will remain up, but the scary part is letting them down, that is when I'll fall.
And once I fall.....that's it. My intuition tells me I will fall....eventually.

Feel free to send me a message if you fancy a chat

xxx

Last edited by PsychicBrunette; 03-25-2015 at 05:45 AM.. Reason: mistake missing word
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  #274  
Old 04-02-2015, 07:11 PM
dfrog dfrog is offline
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ladies seen hell in case of being used what can you do after you know it was all a lie plus physical damage and emotional?
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  #275  
Old 06-07-2015, 04:55 PM
crzylove crzylove is offline
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Default Struggling to understand

Through a series of unexpected events, that I cannot elaborate on, I started writing to letters to a guy who had about 5 months left on his sentence. We got to know each other though many letters and he seemed sincere and wanted a long term relationship. I started to develop feelings for him based on the image of himself that he projected and also because someone close to both me and him spoke highly on his behalf. I trust this individual immensely and I know she would not intentionally lead me in a bad direction. So towards the very end, we had some phone calls, he changed his plans for release day and I agreed to pick him up. That day was a whirlwind of emotions. He had not secured somewhere to parole to, and although I agreed that day to allow him to come to my home (against my better judgment) his PO made him go to a halfway house. We did have several wonderful days together. About two weeks later, he called me late and asked me to pick him up, he was kicked out of the halfway house for starting a confrontation and then had a positive screen for alcohol. We had talked numerous times about the importance of him following his conditions, and so obviously I was so disappointed. He left a message for his PO that night and he was violated and sent back the next day.

Fast forward... despite his "one mistake" I agreed to give him only one more chance. Not to mention, before he violated, of course I was driving about an hour each way to see him, made sure had clothes, food, etc. I was unable to friend him on facebook because of the image he portrayed would be damaging to my career. So, I end up with his things, including the cell phone I had gotten for him on my account. So texts start coming through that made me questions what he had been doing. I end up seeing his facebook and the whole time he had been drinking, hanging with his old friends, and talking non-stop by text and phone calls to numerous girls and exes. Including one he had planned to parole to. I was devastated.

I wrote him a letter and told he I was done, I cannot be with someone who lies and is deceitful. Basically he admitted it all, told me that he did not flirt or even see any of the girls in person, and just was wanting that attention after getting out and also wanted to know why some of them stopped writing, etc. (I did not find any evidence of actual hooking up) He apologized for making bad choices and wants to rebuild our relationship. I also was upset he presented himself to me differently that how he does on Facebook. I have to accept the fact that although he is a 30 year old man, he has never legally, responsibly taken care of himself. I was willing to work with that part.

I would like some feedback about whether I should accept those responses and give him a chance to prove his love and feelings for me or whether I should move on. I had put $100 on his books, which I will no longer put any money on his books. I'm debating whether to take the money off the phone account, although I have questions I want answered. He has five months left to serve. One one hand that could be enough time to work on finding out who he really is, but in the end you can never know until they are out.

Any help would be much appreciated.
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