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  #26  
Old 08-22-2017, 09:09 AM
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Default Quick update

Howdy all... I don't know where the time runs but...it RUNS

He's been out a month tomorrow! He called me the minute he got out and we have been in touch pretty much daily....beyond happy about that! Without going into too many specifics, he's doing alright - has done a few handy jobs here and there, has a roof on top of his head, a car, a phone.... We are doing well, some days better than others; this freaking distance & time difference is sometimes hard, but we're trying to figure things out as we go (and kudos to him...he is so much better at this than I am). I haven't been able to book my visit yet (damn money issues!!!) but hopefully in the next couple of weeks...and my plan is to fly over in early October. Can't bloody wait!!

Sorry so short....will come back with more time when I can...just wanted to pop in and update a little bit. I hope you are all doing well...have a great day
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  #27  
Old 08-28-2017, 05:12 PM
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Howdy all... I don't know where the time runs but...it RUNS

He's been out a month tomorrow! He called me the minute he got out and we have been in touch pretty much daily....beyond happy about that! Without going into too many specifics, he's doing alright - has done a few handy jobs here and there, has a roof on top of his head, a car, a phone.... We are doing well, some days better than others; this freaking distance & time difference is sometimes hard, but we're trying to figure things out as we go (and kudos to him...he is so much better at this than I am). I haven't been able to book my visit yet (damn money issues!!!) but hopefully in the next couple of weeks...and my plan is to fly over in early October. Can't bloody wait!!

Sorry so short....will come back with more time when I can...just wanted to pop in and update a little bit. I hope you are all doing well...have a great day
Glad to hear he's home and doing okay! I can only imagine the extra struggle of so much distance between you, but October will be here before you know it!
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  #28  
Old 08-28-2017, 05:42 PM
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Sarianna So happy to hear he is home and you guys are going strong. So hope you get your visit soon x
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Old 08-29-2017, 11:39 AM
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Glad to hear he's home and doing okay! I can only imagine the extra struggle of so much distance between you, but October will be here before you know it!
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Sarianna So happy to hear he is home and you guys are going strong. So hope you get your visit soon x
Thank you ladies! Flights are booked....I will see him in five weeks
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Old 08-29-2017, 11:48 AM
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Thank you ladies! Flights are booked....I will see him in five weeks
Wow I am so happy for you, I know you will have an amazing time.
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Old 09-03-2017, 09:12 AM
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I am glad all is working out for you.SARIANNA...hola. hi chica! *waving hi in cyber.*

He sound like he is doing ok/good, and has a car already?That is a good thing to get around,easier ya know.(To find a job)even if not the best odd-job,or full time high pay job,still.just having his own $ coming in each week or bi-weekly is a great thing.

Aw so 5 weeks, that mean in Oct., you're going to see him?Are you staying how long? and is he again living with family or 1/2 way house type thing.get back when you're able,and again chica, i was thinking of you,and i said in the other thread here i read, you got back to me,(gracia) thank you, so much.i was so glad to hear things are coming along,and that is a great thing...Keep me and the pto members posted okay?Hugs -n- Blessings,so happy you're doing fine and he is too.Soon you will see him in Oct., so nice.Love it.
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Old 09-16-2017, 11:51 PM
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Well... I have to post a pretty sad update this time. He was arrested this past week and the (drug) charges seem serious enough that I think he might be facing more time in. He was barely out seven weeks so...the addiction is very real, still. I had started feeling something was off but...I guess you just want to believe the best and try to stay positive - not easy to navigate a situation like this as we live across the world from each other.

I am heartbroken and don't really have the words right now to say more. My trip is coming along in three weeks....luckily I have friends in another state so I'll probably just fly to his state (that airfare is non-refundable) and get domestic flights from there....spend a week and a half with dear friends instead...try to enjoy some sun and the ocean.

Much love to you all - I'll probably be around more in the future again...I know how invaluable this community is for support and I know I will need it.
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Old 09-17-2017, 01:53 AM
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Please stay in touch! ❤️
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Old 09-17-2017, 02:49 AM
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Well... I have to post a pretty sad update this time. He was arrested this past week and the (drug) charges seem serious enough that I think he might be facing more time in. He was barely out seven weeks so...the addiction is very real, still. I had started feeling something was off but...I guess you just want to believe the best and try to stay positive - not easy to navigate a situation like this as we live across the world from each other.



I am heartbroken and don't really have the words right now to say more. My trip is coming along in three weeks....luckily I have friends in another state so I'll probably just fly to his state (that airfare is non-refundable) and get domestic flights from there....spend a week and a half with dear friends instead...try to enjoy some sun and the ocean.



Much love to you all - I'll probably be around more in the future again...I know how invaluable this community is for support and I know I will need it.


Oh sarianna I am so sorry to hear this update. Especially as you were so close to seeing each other. It's sounds like addiction still has a strong hold over him. Sadly there is nothing you can do he has to take responsibility yWe are all here for you when you need us. Still enjoy your trip to the USA it's a wonderful place. Sending you hugs x
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  #35  
Old 09-17-2017, 04:53 AM
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Well... I have to post a pretty sad update this time. He was arrested this past week and the (drug) charges seem serious enough that I think he might be facing more time in. He was barely out seven weeks so...the addiction is very real, still. I had started feeling something was off but...I guess you just want to believe the best and try to stay positive - not easy to navigate a situation like this as we live across the world from each other.

I am heartbroken and don't really have the words right now to say more. My trip is coming along in three weeks....luckily I have friends in another state so I'll probably just fly to his state (that airfare is non-refundable) and get domestic flights from there....spend a week and a half with dear friends instead...try to enjoy some sun and the ocean.

Much love to you all - I'll probably be around more in the future again...I know how invaluable this community is for support and I know I will need it.
Sending love to you and hoping you enjoy your trip, sounds like you could use it; sun, beach and dear friends

Your update, sad as it is, really hits home with me. My MWI struggles with addiction, his last two incarcerations were robberies fueled by drug addiction, and I definitely worry he will come home only to end up back in prison a third time with a much longer sentence. It's scary but I'm trying to be hopeful, but also need to be realistic that this won't be easy. I guess in these situations you hope for the best but prepare for the worst. Sometimes I just feel helpless though, addiction is a monster.
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Old 09-18-2017, 10:10 AM
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Thanks for the love, everyone....means a lot. He's in court tomorrow so we'll see where he'll end up and for how long. I doubt he'll get in a program because of the felony charge....but one can always hope.

Lolo, I hope it goes better for your guy, I really do. I feel so very protective of you all here in the MWI shoes - just hoping for happy endings for each and every one of you...not necessarily "storybook happy endings", but just....normal life, after all the challenges...a normal life, you know?

I guess I need to drag my butt out of the homecoming thread and find another place to update
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Old 09-19-2017, 11:48 AM
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Regardless of the sad situation, look at yourself and try to enjoy the time over the pond nevertheless. That's for yourself. All the best!
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Old 10-05-2017, 11:55 PM
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first off, i wanna apologize in advance if this is kinda all over the place. i didnít plan out what i wanted to write, kinda just gonna let it flow & see what happens lol
We met while he was in county jail & 17 months later...
I picked him up September 11th, we went to see his sister & nephews then we got a room & spent the night alone, Iíll spare you all the details.. weíre all adults & know how that went ... but after 17 months of behind glass (except 2 contact visits- one in April & one in May), I expected to be kinda nervous but I swear it was the most natural thing in the world. I normally donít like to cuddle while I sleep, but he was wrapped around me all night & I loved every second of it❤️

but yeah, itís awesome having him home. we both have some trust issues & other things we struggle with as individuals, & we need to learn to be more patient with each other lol but itís good. heís already working which is amazing, Iím so freakiní proud of him for coming home & being so determined to better his life this time around. & Im so glad I get to be by his side thru it. He lives at his sisterís because he canít stay where I live... but weíre hoping to have our own place by January. The downside to his work schedule is it doesnít leave us much down time to spend time together. but we both keep reminding each other that the struggles will be worth it in the end, & that if we could go thru him being in prison then we can get thru this too.


itís crazy because even though weíve been together almost a year & a half, with the majority of the relationship not only being in prison but behind glass, so where some stuff feels like weíve been together for years, other stuff feels like weíre a brand new couple lol so itís interesting. but weíre getting used to it.

my family loves him... I knew my mom, stepdad, & sister would... but I was worried that my grandparents (who I currently live with) would be super judgmental & not give him a chance. Thankfully, my fears were put to rest because they like him a lot!

His family & I are getting along better now that weíve spent time together, which is nice.

thereís still some stressful stuff though. like, things would be better if one of us had a car. but i canít drive for medical reasons, so once he gets a car (which should be in the next month or so because heís already saving money), things will be a bit easier.

Overall, Iíve honestly never been happier. Thereís still some obstacles to overcome, but I know we can get through it all together. Weíre learning to be more patient & understanding with each other, which we already were but itís a little different now that heís home so we have a little more to learn.

I would never do this again for anyone else on the planet, this was the craziest, scariest, most emotional 17 months of my life but every second was so worth it & Iím reminded of that every time he kisses me. ❤️
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Old 10-06-2017, 01:17 PM
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first off, i wanna apologize in advance if this is kinda all over the place. i didnít plan out what i wanted to write, kinda just gonna let it flow & see what happens lol
We met while he was in county jail & 17 months later...
I picked him up September 11th, we went to see his sister & nephews then we got a room & spent the night alone, Iíll spare you all the details.. weíre all adults & know how that went ... but after 17 months of behind glass (except 2 contact visits- one in April & one in May), I expected to be kinda nervous but I swear it was the most natural thing in the world. I normally donít like to cuddle while I sleep, but he was wrapped around me all night & I loved every second of it❤️

but yeah, itís awesome having him home. we both have some trust issues & other things we struggle with as individuals, & we need to learn to be more patient with each other lol but itís good. heís already working which is amazing, Iím so freakiní proud of him for coming home & being so determined to better his life this time around. & Im so glad I get to be by his side thru it. He lives at his sisterís because he canít stay where I live... but weíre hoping to have our own place by January. The downside to his work schedule is it doesnít leave us much down time to spend time together. but we both keep reminding each other that the struggles will be worth it in the end, & that if we could go thru him being in prison then we can get thru this too.


itís crazy because even though weíve been together almost a year & a half, with the majority of the relationship not only being in prison but behind glass, so where some stuff feels like weíve been together for years, other stuff feels like weíre a brand new couple lol so itís interesting. but weíre getting used to it.

my family loves him... I knew my mom, stepdad, & sister would... but I was worried that my grandparents (who I currently live with) would be super judgmental & not give him a chance. Thankfully, my fears were put to rest because they like him a lot!

His family & I are getting along better now that weíve spent time together, which is nice.

thereís still some stressful stuff though. like, things would be better if one of us had a car. but i canít drive for medical reasons, so once he gets a car (which should be in the next month or so because heís already saving money), things will be a bit easier.

Overall, Iíve honestly never been happier. Thereís still some obstacles to overcome, but I know we can get through it all together. Weíre learning to be more patient & understanding with each other, which we already were but itís a little different now that heís home so we have a little more to learn.

I would never do this again for anyone else on the planet, this was the craziest, scariest, most emotional 17 months of my life but every second was so worth it & Iím reminded of that every time he kisses me. ❤️
Thanks for sharing!!! <3 it's always so nice to read good stories like yours!! I wish you both luck and happiness and LOTS OF LOVE!!!!!!!!!
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Old 10-31-2017, 06:27 AM
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first off, i wanna apologize in advance if this is kinda all over the place. i didnít plan out what i wanted to write, kinda just gonna let it flow & see what happens lol
We met while he was in county jail & 17 months later...
I picked him up September 11th, we went to see his sister & nephews then we got a room & spent the night alone, Iíll spare you all the details.. weíre all adults & know how that went ... but after 17 months of behind glass (except 2 contact visits- one in April & one in May), I expected to be kinda nervous but I swear it was the most natural thing in the world. I normally donít like to cuddle while I sleep, but he was wrapped around me all night & I loved every second of it

but yeah, itís awesome having him home. we both have some trust issues & other things we struggle with as individuals, & we need to learn to be more patient with each other lol but itís good. heís already working which is amazing, Iím so freakiní proud of him for coming home & being so determined to better his life this time around. & Im so glad I get to be by his side thru it. He lives at his sisterís because he canít stay where I live... but weíre hoping to have our own place by January. The downside to his work schedule is it doesnít leave us much down time to spend time together. but we both keep reminding each other that the struggles will be worth it in the end, & that if we could go thru him being in prison then we can get thru this too.


itís crazy because even though weíve been together almost a year & a half, with the majority of the relationship not only being in prison but behind glass, so where some stuff feels like weíve been together for years, other stuff feels like weíre a brand new couple lol so itís interesting. but weíre getting used to it.

my family loves him... I knew my mom, stepdad, & sister would... but I was worried that my grandparents (who I currently live with) would be super judgmental & not give him a chance. Thankfully, my fears were put to rest because they like him a lot!

His family & I are getting along better now that weíve spent time together, which is nice.

thereís still some stressful stuff though. like, things would be better if one of us had a car. but i canít drive for medical reasons, so once he gets a car (which should be in the next month or so because heís already saving money), things will be a bit easier.

Overall, Iíve honestly never been happier. Thereís still some obstacles to overcome, but I know we can get through it all together. Weíre learning to be more patient & understanding with each other, which we already were but itís a little different now that heís home so we have a little more to learn.

I would never do this again for anyone else on the planet, this was the craziest, scariest, most emotional 17 months of my life but every second was so worth it & Iím reminded of that every time he kisses me.
Yes thanks for sharing! I can't wait till I can post when mine returns home in 3 years. I know 3 years seems like such a long time I have faith in us!!
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Old 12-23-2017, 08:39 AM
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unfortunately, almost a month after coming home he chose his old lifestyle, drugs, and a new girl over everything we had together. and now he's sitting back in county, looking at an awful prison sentence if he's convicted.

But please please please, don't let my situation scare you or cause you to question your relationships. Everyone is different, and there's so many strong lovely couples that last forever. I just didn't happen to be a part of that group.
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Old 12-23-2017, 12:03 PM
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unfortunately, almost a month after coming home he chose his old lifestyle, drugs, and a new girl over everything we had together. and now he's sitting back in county, looking at an awful prison sentence if he's convicted.

But please please please, don't let my situation scare you or cause you to question your relationships. Everyone is different, and there's so many strong lovely couples that last forever. I just didn't happen to be a part of that group.
I am so sorry, sweetie. Hopefully you can lean on your family and move on. Hugs to you
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Old 12-23-2017, 06:15 PM
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unfortunately, almost a month after coming home he chose his old lifestyle, drugs, and a new girl over everything we had together. and now he's sitting back in county, looking at an awful prison sentence if he's convicted.

But please please please, don't let my situation scare you or cause you to question your relationships. Everyone is different, and there's so many strong lovely couples that last forever. I just didn't happen to be a part of that group.
I know it takes time, but I hope your heart is finding ways to heal from this. I admire your maturity and way of talking about the end of your relationship. It's so easy, when we're hurt, to say and see things in the extreme. Thank you for sharing with us and I hope that even if you're not involved with prison life anymore that you'll drop by and keep in touch. That experience still enables you to help people in the future.

Merry Christmas to you, hun!
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Old 12-23-2017, 06:21 PM
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unfortunately, almost a month after coming home he chose his old lifestyle, drugs, and a new girl over everything we had together. and now he's sitting back in county, looking at an awful prison sentence if he's convicted.

But please please please, don't let my situation scare you or cause you to question your relationships. Everyone is different, and there's so many strong lovely couples that last forever. I just didn't happen to be a part of that group.
Thank you for your update and most of all good on your girl for not being bitter and bit allowing him to destroy your spirit and hope. My goodness I know you and an amazing future and I cant wait for your update on how well you are doing and how happy you are as it will be so.
leave that fool behind and keep walking forward like a boss.
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Old 04-09-2019, 07:02 AM
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I've known my MWI for 20 months now, we have 18 more months to go until his homecoming. We've talked about it some and we both have fears and concerns about the transition. He has spent most of the last decade incarcerated and is a recovering addict. I know it won't be easy and there is a lot of unknown. We both still have so much to learn about each other. He has already asked me if I would be willing to attend couples counselling with him when he gets out, so he already seems to be proactive about our relationship which is a good sign. Right now I'm looking forward to the day when I can share our homecoming story, both the joys and challenges.
Feels so surreal to read something I wrote when we still had 18 more months left and now we have less than 48 hours till I pick him up to bring him home!

The MWI experience is hard to explain unless you've lived it firsthand and if you have you know it's a crazy ride!

So far the transition from prison relationship to out in the real world relationship has gone better than expected! Him getting time in the halfway house helped with that a lot since we could talk more and go on real dates that didn't include guards or a visiting room. He has already made so much progress with adjusting back into society! We have a challenging road ahead but we've come so far we feel ready for anything life throws at us!

Now we are about to start the next chapter in our crazy love story, he will officially be released on Thursday and will then be on supervised release!

I'll keep you all posted on the MWI homecoming and how it goes as we adjust to our new "normal"!
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Old 04-16-2019, 07:18 AM
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Quick Update:
So we are 5 days post-release and so far things are going better than we both expected! With MWI you are sorta strangers in the outside world but for us it has been a very natural transition and we are very comfortable together and can act ourselves! Intimacy has been incredible but I am thankful we had over 3 years of just a few quick kisses and hugs, I think that's a rare gift for a relationship to not be rooted in the physical stuff.

Right now I'm learning there is a lot that goes into the reentry process, MWI or not. This week he is starting an intensive outpatient program for addiction and since he is on supervised release he has to meet with a PO weekly. I can see him getting overwhelmed and am trying to assure him things will fall into place little by little, but it won't all happen overnight. He really is doing great though and I'm proud of him! We are enjoying spending time together, going on dates or just staying home. He even cooked me dinner which was delicious

This Sunday he will be celebrating Easter with my family so I'm excited to share a holiday with him!

It's the honeymoon phase but honestly I'm very hopeful for our future as a couple, I'm totally in love.
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Old 04-16-2019, 08:57 AM
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its baby steps. Just keep plodding away at them. Knock out one thing at a time. One foot in front of the other.
Yes, sometimes you get knocked back a bit.

And its hard.
But totally worth it once its over.
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Old 04-16-2019, 10:38 AM
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Quick Update:
So we are 5 days post-release and so far things are going better than we both expected! With MWI you are sorta strangers in the outside world but for us it has been a very natural transition and we are very comfortable together and can act ourselves!
Always glad to see your updates and super happy that things are going smoothly. Yes, the MWI transition is uniquely (scary? lol) though I imagine a couple who was separated by prison could have some challenges that we don't face like personality and habit changes that occurred during.

We, too, are grateful for the slow roll on the physical stuff. We're not in the post-incarceration phase yet but in our pasts, we were both pretty impulsive when it came to physical relationships. While frustrating at times, we feel we've been given a gift in being allowed to build a strong friendship first.
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Old 04-17-2019, 05:38 AM
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its baby steps. Just keep plodding away at them. Knock out one thing at a time. One foot in front of the other.
Yes, sometimes you get knocked back a bit.

And its hard.
But totally worth it once its over.
Totally agree! Sometimes it seems he wants everything done all at once so I'm just trying to help him prioritize first things first and work through things little by little. He thinks because he is 32 he should have life all figured out and not need so much help....and I'm like I know plenty of adults with no criminal record who are figuring things out, we all are just plodding away Honestly the most important thing for him right now is to stay off drugs, nothing else will work if he isn't clean. So far so good, I'm glad he starts a treatment program tomorrow, 3x a week.
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Old 04-17-2019, 05:50 AM
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Always glad to see your updates and super happy that things are going smoothly. Yes, the MWI transition is uniquely (scary? lol) though I imagine a couple who was separated by prison could have some challenges that we don't face like personality and habit changes that occurred during.

We, too, are grateful for the slow roll on the physical stuff. We're not in the post-incarceration phase yet but in our pasts, we were both pretty impulsive when it came to physical relationships. While frustrating at times, we feel we've been given a gift in being allowed to build a strong friendship first.
Thank you!

The MWI experience really is unique and in ways scary! It's funny I've known him almost 4 years now but it still feels very new, which I guess is kinda exciting, like we are going on a date today and I have butterflies thinking about it. Physical relationships have never been something I've felt comfortable in or really even enjoyed as much as I would have liked to, but I think because of the foundation we've built in our relationship and the build up of the wait lol it's just been incredible and I think we appreciate it more!
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