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Old 01-13-2021, 03:55 PM
SO_of_an_SO SO_of_an_SO is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2020
Location: Kansas
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Post Intro--SO_of_an_SO from Kansas

Hey PTO,

I'm Louise and my significant other James and I have been together almost ten years, not married but we might as well be.

In 2018 we were awoke to a warrant being served and all our electronics taken. James was accused of downloading a series of CP (bad pornography). Our world was turned upside down. He wasn't arrested at that time. We were determined to Hope for the Best and Plan for the Worst. We kept working, saved money, went to therapy.

We made a mistake on hiring a lawyer on pre-charge services only. Because it was days after the warrant, we were petrified and spent $5000. The lawyer sent James to a psychosexual evaluation where we were relieved to discover my partner is not classified as a danger to children or the p word. He had high risk behavior issues combined with electronics and porn addictions. Seems like he was after things on the internet he knew he should have or wasn't allowed to have and just figured that the world was such a big place that "why would they go after me"?

Well years later we got a call that a federal grand jury DID decide to go after him and he was indicted in summer 2020 on one count of possession of CP and one of distribution.

It was so stressful. He resigned from his job due to the panic and stress, being on the brink of suicide. Because of this he was disqualified from unemployment too, which really sucks. We are definitely living on beans and rice and borrowed Hulu shut ins at this point. I work from home though and it's been nice spending time together.

He has a public defender. We are still in pre-trial discovery and probation. He has to wear an ankle monitor and log his travel outside the home which has been very stressful and dehumanizing. I think the most traumatic was he was forced to delete his Twitter acct, haha. Sort of funny but that really got to him. He had to sell off all his guns, which was a big hobby for him. It's just so sad.

He is a kind, funny, gentle man. He allegedly downloaded some dispicable disgusting horrific things and that is that. It's so hard to imagine the man that I cuddle with everyday is facing 120-150 months in federal prison.

The lawyer says that that is the guideline after adding in the aggravating and mitigating factors in the sentencing guidelines - but we don't know for sure obviously what will happen. He doesn't think he could do more than 5 years (the mandatory minimum), and both myself and his therapist have been working with him on those suicidal ideations.

Glad I found this forum. James isn't allowed to talk to people online or in forums but the PO said I could write and ask questions so here we are. He will sometimes be over my shoulder and sometimes it'll just be me.

Have lurked a bunch and James has lurked way more, maybe too much - reading too much about this makes him very depressed, which makes us both depressed.

With love,

Louise and James
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