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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

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  #1  
Old 11-07-2010, 07:53 PM
VA2010 VA2010 is offline
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Default Did I do the right thing?

Im an 18 year old college student. My significant other is 20 and he has been in jail for exactly 1 yr next week. He was caught holding his "friends" firearm which in the state of massachusettes its an automatic 18 months... so that was his sentence. I met him when i was 16. He was my first boyfriend. We had our lil highschool immature romance and such. But even at the age of 16 i really did love him very much. He got arrested at the beginning of our senior year. It was a shock not only to me but to the whole school. He was a good kid played football, lacrosse, was involved in the drama club. IN the begginning it was probably the toughest thing i had ever had to go through in my life. I didnt know what to do and who to talk to cause my family didnt even know about him yet cause i was that young to have a serious relationship. From the start i promised him id be there for him and his sick mother through it all. But i also promised myself i wouldnt neglect my feelings and my happiness! As this past year has gone by i made it clear to him that'd i would support him fully but also live my own life. So i went on, i had my fun went on dates talked to other guys but still kept him in mind. idk if this makes me a bad significant other but i felt like i had to do this for myself. I expeirienced different male personalities got to know some nice and not so nice guys. And in a yr i still did not find anyone that matched up to the way he made me feel. I feel like i did the right thing by going out and getting more expierience and knowing exactly what i want and do not want in a man. Not to mention he was my only boyfriend so hes all i know. It just gave me extra proof that he is the only man that can make me happy. After this past summer i decided to stop talking to other guys fully because i knew i was wasteing my time. Reguardless i know when he comes home we're gonna be together again. I think of this boy every morning and everynight and a bigillion times in between. i Love him to death and miss him so much. I let him know about what ive done in that past yr. His own words "well, babe i didnt expect you to live in a box". He was completely understanding and was very happy that i was honest and open with him. Throughout this whole year i wrote him once a week and called his mother every other day. Ive been very involved and will continue to be. i figured i would get someone elses input on this. Have i been doing the right thing this past year?
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  #2  
Old 11-07-2010, 08:29 PM
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you have every right to explore your options. you're young and still figuring out who you are and what you want. you have honored your commitment to him and been honest with him. how could that be the wrong thing?
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Old 11-07-2010, 08:38 PM
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Yes! You did the right thing by thinking enough of yourself to experience a small bit of what life has to offer. Don't ever think twice about your decision. You sound like an intelligent young woman with a good head on her shoulders. You sound like your feelings for him are because over a couple of years you have grown comfortable. My advice would be to make certain of your reasons for giving up on a relationship with anyone else. Only you know his personality, character, morals, etc...so take that into consideration when making your decision to stay with him. You're only 18 and you dont want to spend your life staying with a guy that is in and out of prison. If this was just a terrible mistake then Ok, anyone can make a mistake but remember that true mistakes aren't habitual. I wish you the best of luck with everything!!

God bless!
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Old 11-07-2010, 08:53 PM
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thank you for your opinion! i appreciate it
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Old 11-08-2010, 03:38 PM
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In my opinion you have been a GREAT, WONDERFUL, AMAZING friend.. You are young. As he said he did not expect for you to live in a box.. Don't beat yourself for living your life.. Every couple is different, so please don't compare your relationship with someone who has been with their King for years and is much older.. To tell you the truth I am proud of you for writing and keeping in touch with Mom's, I don't think that when I was 18 I could of did it.. even with My King, people mature at different times in life and you have a great head on your shoulders.. so keep your head up and keep being the friend you are.. when he come home you and him are already headed in the right direction.

Good Luck and Peace to you both
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Old 11-08-2010, 06:54 PM
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I think you absolutely did the right thing and him being understanding about it is the icing on the cake! i commend u for doing this because at your age i dont think i couldve been that "responsible" for lack of better words.
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Old 11-08-2010, 08:15 PM
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awhh thanks guys! Makes me feel so much better about everything!!! Good luck to you all with your relationships and god bless
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Old 06-25-2019, 08:56 PM
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I think it was good for you to be honest with him.
It is a good sign he was understanding. It lets you know he is not selfish and only cared about his feelings. He cares about yours too- which is good.
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Old 06-26-2019, 11:20 AM
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Please note that, while it's okay to respond to old threads, OP has not logged into the site since December of 2010.


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