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Coming Home Dedicated to discussions about our loved ones that are coming home soon. Discussions here should not fit any other category.

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  #1  
Old 06-12-2019, 09:35 PM
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Default Coming home soon - advice?

My LO is coming home soon. I canít believe it but we are under the 30 day mark. We met when he was out, but he went back in on a parole violation, so this is my first time going through this experience. Last week he was incredibly anxious/antsy and it made me very anxious/antsy and we talked about it and heís been calm since but Iím wondering if anyone has advice or experience on what to expect in these last days and what to expect when he gets home. Heíll be on electronic monitoring for up to a few weeks depending on his court case so movement will be limited. Any advice on what to expect would be helpful.
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Old 06-12-2019, 09:37 PM
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also does anyone know - since he has to go back to cook county upon his release does IDOC Take him there or does cook county pick him up? Thanks
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Old 06-12-2019, 09:50 PM
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Whooo Hooo!! Congrats on his soon-Homecoming!!

Ah, ya'll got short-timers Nervous, snippity and no patience...its normal, especially for inmates that have been in longer than a minute. Take a deep breath, try to be understanding and tell him to keep a low profile these last days.

As for the detainer, I would think Cook County will pick him up.

You're more than welcome to countdown the days in the Countdown forum!! I post in the threads when I can and help count 'em down. I just love a Homecoming
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Old 06-12-2019, 10:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by patchouli View Post
Whooo Hooo!! Congrats on his soon-Homecoming!!

Ah, ya'll got short-timers Nervous, snippity and no patience...its normal, especially for inmates that have been in longer than a minute. Take a deep breath, try to be understanding and tell him to keep a low profile these last days.

As for the detainer, I would think Cook County will pick him up.

You're more than welcome to countdown the days in the Countdown forum!! I post in the threads when I can and help count 'em down. I just love a Homecoming
Thank you!! Nervous, snippity, and no patience is exactly how I would describe it. Iíve actually accused him of emotionally disconnecting from me cus it was like all of a sudden a new person. But heís been keeping it in check now. He was badly beaten up a few months ago so low profile is his middle name right now. Iím so thankful to hear the attitude change is a normal thing. I figured that was a major reason but this helps.

We have a countdown going and itís going by so quickly now. And June is a very busy month for me so that will help. Lots to talk about and keep our minds occupied on other things. I literally cannot wait!
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Old 06-15-2019, 02:02 PM
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also does anyone know - since he has to go back to cook county upon his release does IDOC Take him there or does cook county pick him up? Thanks
Holy shit!!!! Iím so happy for you!!! And jealous! best of luck to you both, stay on his ass!!! Cook will get him.
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Old 06-19-2019, 09:11 PM
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Thanks. Just a few weeks now. Iím getting nervous. Heís getting nervous. Itís getting real! He had his last commissary today.
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Old 06-20-2019, 10:23 AM
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Hey, tell him to keep a low profile. My Mr usually stops working, oh, the last couple of weeks or so. He's an old-timer, a convict, in prison most of his adult life. Sad but true: Sometimes other inmates will try to instigate something, anything, to screw up another one's parole / release. I'm not saying this to make you both paranoid, just letting ya'll know to be careful. Tell him to read a lot, stay off the yard, don't play cards / dominoes, etc
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Old 06-23-2019, 10:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by patchouli View Post
Hey, tell him to keep a low profile. My Mr usually stops working, oh, the last couple of weeks or so. He's an old-timer, a convict, in prison most of his adult life. Sad but true: Sometimes other inmates will try to instigate something, anything, to screw up another one's parole / release. I'm not saying this to make you both paranoid, just letting ya'll know to be careful. Tell him to read a lot, stay off the yard, don't play cards / dominoes, etc
Thanks! These last days are tough. Just wishing we could wake up and it was here.
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Old 06-25-2019, 04:05 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Meami1 View Post
My LO is coming home soon. I canít believe it but we are under the 30 day mark. We met when he was out, but he went back in on a parole violation, so this is my first time going through this experience. Last week he was incredibly anxious/antsy and it made me very anxious/antsy and we talked about it and heís been calm since but Iím wondering if anyone has advice or experience on what to expect in these last days and what to expect when he gets home. Heíll be on electronic monitoring for up to a few weeks depending on his court case so movement will be limited. Any advice on what to expect would be helpful.
I think you all will be fine. My wife and I talked beforehand...we both were anxious, but we just reassured each other. I am finding out how my incarceration affected her personally. I think once he gets out you should just keep up the lines of communication. No, not everyday is going to be perfect, but if he values his freedom he will do right.

Congrats to you both. This is a big step for both of you...enjoy it.
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Old 06-25-2019, 07:32 PM
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Quote:
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I think you all will be fine. My wife and I talked beforehand...we both were anxious, but we just reassured each other. I am finding out how my incarceration affected her personally. I think once he gets out you should just keep up the lines of communication. No, not everyday is going to be perfect, but if he values his freedom he will do right.

Congrats to you both. This is a big step for both of you...enjoy it.
Thanks. I needed to read this right now. We just hung up and heís so irritable. Like everything I say is just like not enthusiastic enough, or not detailed enough, or said incorrectly. Itís hard to not take it personally but Iím pretty sure itís just his anxiety creeping in.
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Old 06-25-2019, 08:13 PM
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Thanks. I needed to read this right now. We just hung up and heís so irritable. Like everything I say is just like not enthusiastic enough, or not detailed enough, or said incorrectly. Itís hard to not take it personally but Iím pretty sure itís just his anxiety creeping in.
Jesse was the same way when he came home the last time. I tried my best to let it roll off my shoulders but it was hard. I was excited and I guess I did t really take into account the pressure of readjusting. He was very nauseous in the car on the drive home after not being in a car for so long. The night before he came home he fought with me over nonsense. The pressure to do well. But we fell into something wonderful and heís been a dream. Just stay the same and supportive as you were while he was in for a little bit during adjustment and I think itíll all be okay!!!
This slip up back in had been very very tough. Heís very disappointed and sad and is trying to maintain his stature. I am slightly concerned about this next return. Plus itís double the time, this is been extremely difficult on us.
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Old 06-25-2019, 08:19 PM
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Originally Posted by jessesgirl1111 View Post
Jesse was the same way when he came home the last time. I tried my best to let it roll off my shoulders but it was hard. I was excited and I guess I did t really take into account the pressure of readjusting. He was very nauseous in the car on the drive home after not being in a car for so long. The night before he came home he fought with me over nonsense. The pressure to do well. But we fell into something wonderful and heís been a dream. Just stay the same and supportive as you were while he was in for a little bit during adjustment and I think itíll all be okay!!!
This slip up back in had been very very tough. Heís very disappointed and sad and is trying to maintain his stature. I am slightly concerned about this next return. Plus itís double the time, this is been extremely difficult on us.
Thanks. I know exactly what you mean - the way he felt after the violation and being back in was very difficult for him to accept. He was kind of shocked at how quickly his freedoms was taken away and so mad at himself. I think my guy is also really starting to feel the pressure of life coming out. Heís kind of snapping on everyone. Iím just going to let it go. Tomorrow heíll apologize a CO said something to him today about the event that took place and it really worried him. He feels like he has no control.
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Old 06-30-2019, 12:13 PM
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My MWI has his MRD in April 2020 though he is up for parole again in September. He has been doing fantastic these last nine months, but the last couple months, he's said some things that made me question it all and a couple times I wanted to throw in the towel, but a friend convinced me to hang on. We hung up on each other a couple times and I deleted his photos off my phone and when he called back, he said he had thrown away all my letters! Now, he's back to his normal self - telling me he loves me and I'm "his bestie" and we are going to have a great life together. Short times syndrome is a real thing whether they want to admit it or not.
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