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  #1  
Old 10-06-2018, 08:21 AM
RileyReid84 RileyReid84 is offline
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Default No contact order/Intimidating a witness

Hey guys. So I don't really know where to begin but I need some advice. My husband is in jail at the moment and we had a no contact order in place (I was unaware) he contacted me and now they charged him with intimidating a witness. He was out on bond facing a habitual felon charge now that he got this new charge its another felony so again another hab charge. I'm hoping the intimidating a witness gets dropped but my question is how long do you think be will get and since he got the intimidating a witness will our contact order be extended?. I want to communicate with him about our child. Please help
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Old 10-06-2018, 09:30 AM
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You never had to go to court for the order of protection not sure how they can charge him for that if you had no idea you had an order of protection you can try to go to the court to get through order vacated that's what i did before weren't you on the call list don't they have to approve it for him to call you maybe it's different in nys but that's how they operate
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Old 10-06-2018, 09:33 AM
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Welcome to Prison Talk. I doubt that anyone can predict what will be the end result of your husband's new criminal case. What is certain is that if the two of you are in contact again while the protection order is in place, he will catch even more charges.

Since the underlying issue is domestic violence, the protection order will not go away, especially while the criminal case is still pending.
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Old 10-06-2018, 11:17 AM
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He knew he was prohibited from contacting you and from having someone else contact you on his behalf - it's clearly spelled out in the order. That also means no texts, IMs, or any other electronic or third-party contact. He knew, he just didn't want to follow that rule.

Period.

It's not your fault, though I'm sure you have a ghost of guilt about it anyway.

This is a chance to clear your head, get some counseling at your local Domestic ABuse agency and get safe!
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Old 10-07-2018, 10:30 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ambermarshall11 View Post
You never had to go to court for the order of protection not sure how they can charge him for that if you had no idea you had an order of protection you can try to go to the court to get through order vacated that's what i did before weren't you on the call list don't they have to approve it for him to call you maybe it's different in nys but that's how they operate
Well the thing is is that I went out and got a warrant for him and when he went to court they put the no contact in place and then come to find out the DA listened to our recorded jail convos and added this new charge I'm so upset
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Old 10-07-2018, 10:34 AM
RileyReid84 RileyReid84 is offline
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He knew he was prohibited from contacting you and from having someone else contact you on his behalf - it's clearly spelled out in the order. That also means no texts, IMs, or any other electronic or third-party contact. He knew, he just didn't want to follow that rule.

Period.

It's not your fault, though I'm sure you have a ghost of guilt about it anyway.

This is a chance to clear your head, get some counseling at your local Domestic ABuse agency and get safe!
Yes I am going to counseling and I do have guilt bc I had no clue the state would take over and now this where we can't talk. Since he got these new charges I'm scared they will extend the order. In his wife I wasn't I intimidated. Praying he can get a lawyer who can help so we can communicate about our child. Also what if I write a letter to him usuing a diff name and not act like his wife in the letter? Is that to risky? I just desperately need to tell him some things
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Old 10-07-2018, 10:37 AM
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Welcome to Prison Talk. I doubt that anyone can predict what will be the end result of your husband's new criminal case. What is certain is that if the two of you are in contact again while the protection order is in place, he will catch even more charges.

Since the underlying issue is domestic violence, the protection order will not go away, especially while the criminal case is still pending.
Yes that's the problem. I told DA I didn't want to pursue and I'm in counseling but the state takes over and the DA ended up listening to our phone calls and slapped him with a new charge of intimidating a witness..I was never intimidated. This DA has sent him to prison 4 tomes before so I know it isn't good but I just want contact and I'm scared that they will extend the order cuz they found out we are still talking but yes I'm in counseling and I'm not afraid of him.
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Old 10-07-2018, 11:12 AM
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I have just removed several posts and I would like to remind all members that this is a support site. It is not a place to advocate law and rule breaking. It is not the place to tell others how to avoid no contact orders and how to break prison rules.
Such behavior will only result in potential additional charges and heart ache.

If there is a court order or a prison rule telling you not to do something then follow it for own sake and the sake of your partner.
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Old 10-07-2018, 12:49 PM
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Domestic violence charges are from the state, no longer from you.
This is done specifically so the onus of charges is off your shoulders, SHOULD you be a victim who MIGHT be intimidated into dropping charges.
At some point, when things settle down, you may be able to negotiate some situation where the child may visit the dad with a social worker, guardian.
But please don't try to get over...it rarely works....and you could lose it all.Any chance for future communication could be dead because you are so panic to talk.
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Old 10-07-2018, 01:11 PM
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You might not feel “intimidated” in the classical sense of the word, but when there’s domestic violence, drawing the victim back into the honeymoon phase is most definitely going to affect the way the victim approaches the abuser and the whole situation. Maybe there’s not a separate entry for “manipulating a witness”, which would be more accurate, but make no mistake, if you are communicating with your abuser you are most definitely being tampered with.
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Old 10-07-2018, 01:23 PM
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Since you are the victim of both domestic violence and witness intimidation, you can expect the protective order to remain in place throughout his incarceration and his parole period after.

If he wants contact with his child, he needs to do it through his attorney to have the OP modified. Chances are, that’s not happening while charges are pending. Your concern with the order against him can be handled with your own lawyer, one you pay for, to help support his efforts to modify. His unwillingness to play by the rules of the OP and have any modification done through the court system will not help this.

Your best bet to support any modification is to do your DV counseling, get your therapist on board with contact, accept the most minimum contact and improve from there once the court is satisfied that he is merely being a parent and not trying to manipulate or coerce you into trying to help him, change your testimony, or aid him in breaking the protective order because it seems more expedient.

As a Hab felon, he’s facing serious time before parole. Best to prepare for the idea that it may be a decade or more before you can have contact with him unless you are allowed to participate in a victim impact program/ restorative justice program with his home prison.
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Old 10-07-2018, 01:29 PM
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I was in a situation like yours with my baby father if you continue to go to counseling your counselor can write a letter to parole and verify that you are in treatment also when he comes home he will be mandated to take dv classes through parole but maybe he can start classes now while he's in their
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Old 10-07-2018, 04:37 PM
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If you are caught trying to help him circumvent the court order, you may even find yourself in serious legal trouble. It's possible that you might also have to deal with child protective services about your fitness to continue retaining custody of your daughter.

All of that is more likely to happen since your baby's father is already being repeatedly targeted by the DA.

Let his cases be resolved by the courts. Once you learn what punishments he is actually facing, you will both know what you, and he, need to do for him to be able to interact with your daughter in the future.
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Old 10-07-2018, 08:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RileyReid84 View Post
Yes that's the problem. I told DA I didn't want to pursue and I'm in counseling but the state takes over and the DA ended up listening to our phone calls and slapped him with a new charge of intimidating a witness..I was never intimidated. This DA has sent him to prison 4 tomes before so I know it isn't good but I just want contact and I'm scared that they will extend the order cuz they found out we are still talking but yes I'm in counseling and I'm not afraid of him.
You're nit-picking here, Riley. Of course the state takes over. And they listened to your phone calls - there's no expectation of privacy in a prison! And he was violating the law so they can prove it with your calls.

The state takes over many cases - bank robbery cases, too, and many other crimes get taken over - murder for instance, since there's no complainant to ask for a case to be brought - they're dead!

You don't seem to quite get that he's breaking law after law after law. Why on earth don't you insist that the stop? Why don't you pour a shot of morality into this situation - he keeps breaking laws, keeps going to prison, keeps abusing you and you keep advocating for him. You think you're not intimidated? Seriously? All of us who have been abused are intimidated without a single word being spoken! We're so greedy for love that even the hint of losing (bad) love terrifies us!

And what kind of role model are you for your child? You do understand, don't you, that violence in the home plus chronically absent father means that your child is going to have a lot of behavioral problems to overcome!
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