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  #26  
Old 09-10-2020, 06:06 PM
Ms Sunny Ms Sunny is offline
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Originally Posted by ambermarshall11 View Post
You people are so negative i won't be posting any more he's done this before it's a game to him have a good day
If this is your relationship, then why complain?
You need to own this thread, you open the door.

If it makes you happy that’s all good.
But you can’t complain about his behavior, then defend his behavior in your next sentence.
I wouldn’t blame you if you cheated, he’s not very kind to you.
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  #27  
Old 09-10-2020, 06:22 PM
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Yeah he tried to call me 4 times but my phone is off i don't have money for it right now i new he was gonna call me it made no sense for him to tell me that was a mind game all along no he's not he has anger problems from what happened in his childhood trauma
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  #28  
Old 09-10-2020, 06:24 PM
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Originally Posted by Ms Sunny View Post
If this is your relationship, then why complain?
You need to own this thread, you open the door.

If it makes you happy that’s all good.
But you can’t complain about his behavior, then defend his behavior in your next sentence.
I wouldn’t blame you if you cheated, he’s not very kind to you.
He tried to call me 4 times like i new he would my phone is off i don't have money for that right now yeah he's got anger problems i think due to the trauma he had to deal with when he was a child so he basically told me that for nothing i shouldn't let it bother me when he does that
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  #29  
Old 09-10-2020, 08:31 PM
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Originally Posted by ambermarshall11 View Post
He tried to call me 4 times like i new he would my phone is off i don't have money for that right now yeah he's got anger problems i think due to the trauma he had to deal with when he was a child so he basically told me that for nothing i shouldn't let it bother me when he does that
My wife has had a childhood that would make you cringe. And its absolutely brutal. Although she is far from perfect and has made a mistake that has cost us a large part of our prime, she has NEVER treated me bad or even came close to it. Her undying loyalty and faith to me, is why I know I'm never going to stray. While I will always have anger for putting herself into a situation we are in, that woman has always shown love and respect, and when she comes home, I know I will have my best friend back, free of addiction. Our daughter will have her mom back. I will never turn my back on her. You constantly take the worst part of a prison relationship and the worst part of an abusive relationship, and have combined it into one ball of misery. Have you ever looked at your past posts on here? Pretty brutal. So when we've heard this exact same thing for the 20th time, the reactions are going to be what you see now. Nice didn't work, understanding didn't work, and now aggression doesn't work. You are not going to get empathy and support for a man that treats you like garbage all the time. Even more ridiculous, is that you get upset because people give an opinion and since you don't like it, you start defending this bag of air. Just because we are a unique group of people, that so many will never understand or support, doesn't mean we can't see the trainwreck at every corner. You're going to be 50 years old some day, and wonder why the hell you wasted so much of your time and money on someone who doesn't give a damn about you. Not even a little bit. When he's "nice" to you, its just to reel you back in, and get you to say, "THIS is the time he stops being a piece of shit to me", and then we recycle this same process over and over again.

For the record, my entire state is burning. I'm on a level 2 evac, and my wife is being evacuated to a facility 3 hours away and I'm not sure the next time I will get to talk to her, WHILE trying to keep my family safe thats outside, WHILE managing a clemency that's in the governors hands. Everyone here, lives in a personal hell. You add to it, by being with someone who makes you feel worthless, because for some bizarre reason, you don't think you can find someone better, or you're not worth a happy life. Can you imagine if you gave this undying loyalty to a man that actually cares about you? Do you know the things we will do for a woman that has that trait? That no matter what goes on, we have you as a partner and a best friend? You give this to the wrong person, and the people here, are tired of saying the same thing over and over again. There's one person in the entire universe that thinks what you go through is ok, and that's you.

Last edited by Visitor611; 09-10-2020 at 09:18 PM..
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  #30  
Old 09-10-2020, 09:43 PM
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Wow, I have seen so many people give you the BEST advice you can take. And you are continously ignoring them. What more do you want from everyone. They are being honest and you let this information fly right over your head. Obviously he do not care and i don't think you do either at this point.
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  #31  
Old 09-11-2020, 08:57 AM
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My suggestion would be to print this entire thread with all of our answers and maybe all the others ones, too, and bring them to your next therapy session.
I think we were all trying to be supportive but there's a limit to what we are able to do. Most of us are not educated/licensed therapists/psychologists so we are only speaking from experience, some from wisdom and maybe a healthy gut feeling.
None is against you, but none wants to be part of this vicious and unhealthy cycle anymore because it gets us all (including you) always to a screetching halt when it's all rejected and pissed upon after a few answers.

And believe me, none of us is perfect. We all carry our own burdens, some more some less, some deal with it better than others. We all have a history and none can claim that their life is perfect. I for one can't. Only trying my best and doing what's right - for me and for the people I love. And personally I have reached a point with my guy where I had to cut the cord and let him be his self-absorbed egomaniac who couldn't look beyond his own needs and wishes. It's hard, it hurts, I miss him. Every day. He never did anything mean to me, he just took me and my heart for granted and I was missing nourishment and he let the love die like a plant that wasn't watered for some time.
At one point you do have to save yourself. It's time for you.
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Last edited by MizzyMuffling; 09-11-2020 at 09:03 AM..
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  #32  
Old 09-15-2020, 11:35 PM
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Mizzy I’m sorry to read that.

Amber - you didn’t cheat so don’t admit to it. If he doesn’t want you to visit or send money then enjoy the break from it all.
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  #33  
Old 09-16-2020, 01:46 AM
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Originally Posted by MizzyMuffling View Post
I'll bet $100 that you will post again. Who's with me?
The money from the bet will be donated to this Prison Site.
In!!!!
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  #34  
Old 09-16-2020, 07:27 AM
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Originally Posted by kvinna20 View Post
Mizzy I’m sorry to read that.

Amber - you didn’t cheat so don’t admit to it. If he doesn’t want you to visit or send money then enjoy the break from it all.
Yeah I've already saved 50 bucks for the phone its been off 10 days already
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  #35  
Old 09-16-2020, 08:21 AM
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some guys like that sort of thing. It makes them feel....something.

Tell him you slept with the entire county and a few from the neighboring counties as well.
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  #36  
Old 09-16-2020, 08:48 AM
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some guys like that sort of thing. It makes them feel....something.

Tell him you slept with the entire county and a few from the neighboring counties as well.
love it!!
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  #37  
Old 09-16-2020, 10:42 AM
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love it!!
Yeah my mom told me the same thing tell him it was the whole town so he will be quiet about it
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  #38  
Old 09-16-2020, 10:54 AM
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I think you have to start using this tactic... he's talking bullshit and you have to bullshit right back...
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  #39  
Old 09-16-2020, 11:06 AM
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I remember an ex partner kept on at me about me cheating (turns out he was cheating not me) my reply was always the same. I would say "Look in order, these are the guys I have slept with 1 2 3 4 YOU 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 ......... and on until he got the message.

Dont put money on the phone and dont visit. This man is a abusive fool and you know it.
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  #40  
Old 09-16-2020, 11:22 AM
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Originally Posted by MizzyMuffling View Post
I think you have to start using this tactic... he's talking bullshit and you have to bullshit right back...
Yeah so he shuts up he's very insecure not sure if it has to do with his addiction or just the mind games that im used to
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  #41  
Old 09-16-2020, 11:31 AM
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Stop blaming the addiction. You have to start with yourself first... don't take it, bullshit back and don't give him any more money. It all starts with you - it's like this for all of us.
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  #42  
Old 09-17-2020, 09:14 AM
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Im sorry and as much fun as it sounds like.....he will believe whatever he's gonna believe regardless of the truth. Ive always thought that those who pull this shit, are the ones doing it themselves.
However doing whats been suggested, will just make him mad. Weve heard what he does when he's mad. He takes it out on her.
So I'd not do that.
Instead? I'd get a restraining order, move and leave no forwarding address. I'd probably not tell anyone either with the possible exception of a parent (hers, not his)I'd change my number and not look back.
But Ive said all this before.
Keep those counseling appts.
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  #43  
Old 09-17-2020, 09:19 AM
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I'm with you on this 100% and I hope it would be different because I'd like to give him a fat dose of his own reality and kick some ass...
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  #44  
Old 09-17-2020, 11:50 AM
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Can you name 5 things about this man that you like that don’t involve his appearance?

When was the last time this man made you feel happy and loved? (LOVED... not “needed”)
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  #45  
Old 09-17-2020, 12:59 PM
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Originally Posted by Peacefinder View Post
Sweetie it's the same pattern with him over and over. You deserve so much better
Though she deserves better, so does he (a non enabler, someone to help hold him accountable). I guarantee a girl who refuses to deal with his antics would actually be treated a lot better.

She has to experience him in order to get to her next phase / step / designation... dealing with him will eventually cause her to get the help "she" requires and then one day she'll oddly resent him yet be thankful she crossed paths with him ... in order to get to where she's meant to be.
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  #46  
Old 09-19-2020, 02:16 PM
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Default He wants me to admit I cheated or not to visit/put money on phone

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Originally Posted by ambermarshall11 View Post
So my boyfriend calls me it was the last call today he told me he wants me to admit i cheated on him before the call hung up then he said if i don't admit it to not come and visit or put the phone on anymore isn't this called manipulation or what not this is just mind boggling

That’s some intense manipulation there.

But I mean, I wouldn’t want to talk to him or see him if he was just going to accuse me of cheating the whole time anyway.

Save your money and spend it on something that makes you feel good, other than him

He has nothing to gain from scenarios like this other than intentionally upsetting you and making you feel like trash.

Intentionally. Making. You. Feel. Like. Trash.

That’s not love.

That’s abuse.
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  #47  
Old 09-24-2020, 08:56 AM
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This is the first post I read of your relationship so just from this let me ask you, how old are you? and with all due respect you are so in denial and blindsided. He loves you not and is just wasting your time. But if this rocks your boat you'll ride it until you feel you had enough if you have any self love. Your excuses for him are just non-sense. You deserve better but sadly you don't see it and if you feel you deserve him then maybe you do, so live it out but don't complain when he plays this game again and again, enjoy it and love it for what it is....your love life.
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