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  #1  
Old 10-27-2010, 06:18 PM
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Default Feeling guilty that I don't feel that guilty about 'almost' cheating on my MWI

confusing title huh?!?!

well PTO i have been MIA again, life hits ya hard...

anyways... me and my bae are MWI friends first then we committed...

he disappeared for like 4 weeks, no calls, no letters nada...

his reason... he was "busy" while yes i was mad at him that he had "disappeared" i was doing my own dirt. tho i feel that his wasn't talking to other girls, i did... i got emotionally attached to a man out here but not relationship wise... it was more the fact that he was someone i could talk to daily and cuddle with every now and then... we've slowed down... we just talk now but i still KINDA feel bad... i almost cheated on my man when i ran into a guy i used to be madly in love with in high school but i didnt...

i want to tell my man what happened... although we have talked about it and he has another 7 years and he expects me to talk to others i dont want him to leave me cuz i "cheated"... its hard to stay dedicated to a man i've never held, sept 24th was supposed to be our first time but in his 4 week disappearance he lost his visits for six months... i know that dont make it right but i dunno exactly what to do... tell him or dont... i feel like i should but i dont want to be without him... i dunno how he will take it... even worse... i dont feel as bad as i think i should feel about it...

any suggestions or opinions??
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Old 10-27-2010, 09:06 PM
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Do what ur heart tells u to do.
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Old 10-28-2010, 04:04 AM
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Sounds like a couple of "almost" situations, but you didn't cheat. Right? I guess it's up to you if you tell your man or not. I'd let it go, because you didn't actually cheat and you eased up with the one guy you got close to...just let it go and re-focus.
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Old 10-28-2010, 04:33 AM
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You two need to talk. If you tell him about the "almost cheating" part, it should be from the need to express how you felt during those 4 weeks of not hearing from him. Not to justify it, but to help him see how it leaves you twisting in the wind with no idea of what's going on.

So he was "busy." Was that the only explanation he had? (You don't have to answer that, but that sounds pretty lame.)
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Old 10-28-2010, 05:58 AM
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sounds you feel even more guilty to know he may not be the right man at your side!

so let me give you some facts: what is a man we trust when he dissapears for 4 weeks? all the worries we go through all the pictures which come up and and and.... ? and he plops up again and his visits are gone for an half year again? is this what you want in your future?????

maybe you should think about to stop with both of them....... to be free for a moment and then to see what happens. you may tell this your partner inside before you "are gone for a while", so you dont act like he did.

in the time you can find out what you want. he will be seen how he is acting when you take this time out!

if he made a mistake and was not able to act different, the least you merit is all his patience and care now; he would to have be patient and respect your time out. if he sees this different, how can you ever trust him with your own life and maybe the one of kids? .......

a lot to think about..........

(and he is no poor fellow as he is in prison: he did put him there out of actions. he is responsible for his actions and to be inside this should have opened his eyes. up to him to know what is most imporant in this life; his actions speak a intense language!)

to this friend outside: if he knew about your relationship he did not act correct either. as he supported your nearly cheating. to snuggle in the arms of an other is cheating for me. we dont have to sleep with a man to cheat; but this is my point of view. the same time he did let you see something really important, what you need.

take your time to think about all this and then decide. and decide for YOU, not for anybody else!!!!!
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  #6  
Old 10-28-2010, 09:46 AM
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yeah it was almosts, the "busy" made me flip the heck out because he knew better and it cost us the visit that i was going to travel to ca JUST to see him. so now his visits are gone for 3 months and 3 behind windows which in the long run it helped cuz i couldnt make it but thats beside the point he screwed them up for us and his family.

i've stepped away since then, told him i needed some space to get over some things and his disappearing act. he's always given me space everytime i needed it i give him that. and although he has ticked me off a time or two this is the first time he's done me wrong since he met me and i truly believe that it wasnt another female involved, it was other things. he's what i want and who love, the only thing is the physical abscence. everyone i talk to out here, even the "cuddle buddy" i always talked about Erik and kept comparing them. you should never do that, i know but that's ultimately who i want and what i want in a man. love is so unfair!
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Old 10-28-2010, 09:50 AM
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so as you are certain who is the right man for you, you have to live the consequences. this is pretty easy..... we have a saying: you cannot have the bread and the $....
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