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Now That Your Loved One Is Home... Please share stories about your loved one now they are home.

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  #26  
Old 04-01-2019, 08:03 AM
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Originally Posted by AngelMindi View Post
All the stuff he has been through can make up a book. I had a hard night tonight and did a lot of crying because I miss him terribly. I can't seem to let go, I am always waiting for my phone to ring and having him on the other side saying Hi Baby! I know deep in my heart that he will not be coming home but I still hope, is that bad?
I think that hope is natural and normal. Wanting to do something to get him help and prevent anyone from getting harmed is also normal. Considering what all has happened to him in prison to cause this situation I would be raging against the system and calling everyone from the justice system to the medical system to the newspapers and officials in the town he was last in, along with any of the legal organizations that sue the prisons, such as the ACLU. You have his power of attorney (if "durable" it works even when he is incompetent) and you were also harmed by what the prison system did to him.
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  #27  
Old 04-02-2019, 07:35 AM
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No having hope isnt a bad thing.
I would caution you tho.......be careful. For YOU.
I'd try to move on if you can. Not to say he wont reach out at some point or things could go back to semi normal. But dont hold your breath either.
I know that does not make much sense but I had to do something similar with my first hubby. He was an addict. I left him because I couldnt deal with him and I had a newborn. I hope for over a year, maybe more that he would *change* get clean and be a family. I was lucky and had my folks to fall back on.
I think it took me like 3 years total to finally get my divorce. He didnt change for years.

He now lives around the corner from me (that I didnt know about for a long while lol)
and we are good friends now. lt took him a long time to overcome his addiction. I still worry about him, that he will slide back into addiction. He has severe physical issues from in part being a drug user.
Im also very good friends with his lady. Their daughters call me Auntie. lol
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  #28  
Old 04-02-2019, 07:35 PM
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All the stuff he has been through can make up a book. I had a hard night tonight and did a lot of crying because I miss him terribly. I can't seem to let go, I am always waiting for my phone to ring and having him on the other side saying Hi Baby! I know deep in my heart that he will not be coming home but I still hope, is that bad?
My situation is totally different when I was going through all of this transition (years ago). I had so many bad/hard nights where I would just be beating myself up over it and crying my eyes till red. I'd cried so much my entire body ached badly. I missed him and thought about him. Would wait by my phone to see if he would call me and took cat naps just in case he did call. It take time for it gets better and you'll go through so many changes all together.

What your feeling will be like that because you still love him! So, your going to hope for so many things to happen and no it's not bad. Your going to have these moments it's fresh. But as time goes on your mind, heart and soul will slowly start changing and feeling something totally different. You'll miss him less and not think of him much at all. It's all apart of healing from a heart break. Take care of yourself and take it a step/day at a time. You'll have your ups and downs. But you'll get through all of this with time hun.
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  #29  
Old 04-02-2019, 09:28 PM
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This is such a sad situation, my heart goes out to you.
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Old 04-03-2019, 06:06 PM
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No sweetie, that isn't bad at all.
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  #31  
Old 04-10-2019, 10:39 PM
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Awww so sorry to hear that. Hopefully you are taking it day by day and are making it through this okay. Also hope that he is doing well and will eventually get the help that he needs. I know it must be so hard not knowing where he is even though the situation didn't turn out how you wanted it to. Stay strong.
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Old 04-11-2019, 08:18 AM
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Update..Received a call from him last week, he finally hit rock bottom out on the streets and asked for help so we finally got him the help he needs. He looks horrible and has done some stupid stuff but at least he is off the streets. Hopefully they can get him on the right track and eventually come home. I guess only time will tell how damaged he is, it's going to take alot to get him back but I will be there for him as I was the past 13 yrs. Thank you all for your kind and caring words..

Last edited by AngelMindi; 04-11-2019 at 08:26 AM..
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  #33  
Old 04-11-2019, 02:22 PM
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I am glad to hear that he is safe. Make sure you look after yourself.Supporting him is important but you are important also.
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  #34  
Old 04-11-2019, 03:57 PM
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Update..Received a call from him last week, he finally hit rock bottom out on the streets and asked for help so we finally got him the help he needs. He looks horrible and has done some stupid stuff but at least he is off the streets. Hopefully they can get him on the right track and eventually come home. I guess only time will tell how damaged he is, it's going to take alot to get him back but I will be there for him as I was the past 13 yrs. Thank you all for your kind and caring words..
Prayers
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Old 04-17-2019, 03:31 AM
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Originally Posted by AngelMindi View Post
All the stuff he has been through can make up a book. I had a hard night tonight and did a lot of crying because I miss him terribly. I can't seem to let go, I am always waiting for my phone to ring and having him on the other side saying Hi Baby! I know deep in my heart that he will not be coming home but I still hope, is that bad?
That's not bad, that's love. And with all do respect, maybe a little guilt. Just pray that he finally found or will get some help... And maybe he'll call when you least expect it. Keep your head up!
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  #36  
Old 04-21-2019, 08:27 PM
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Wow! I read your updates along with the original reply. I feel for both of you all. I am glad that he walked away from you and didn't make your life a living hell. Of course the ideal is for him to be there with you, and healthy; but since he's not, at least he left. I'm glad you are here to talk about it. The prison system did a number on him. Shame on everyone who heard the call of help but did not answer. Your husband was diagnosed with PTSD BEFORE his release, and he was just sent out in the world, to go to a halfway house and start parole; no mental treatment. I can only pray at this time that more help with come for those inside the prison. I'm going to keep praying. God sees all. Why so much has to happen in this world, I don't know, but I trust that He cares about humanity. I will pray for your husband as well. Like someone said, oftentimes, it takes a REALLY drastic crime for someone to do before everyone wakes the heck up!! I will hope this is not the case.

I know you feel lost without him; you will heal from this. Take it one day at a time. Better yet, take it one step at a time, one minute at a time. Trust in God, He is your only constant right now. If you don't know Him, go to a church, find a friend who does.

Take care and keep us posted.
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  #37  
Old 04-27-2019, 06:51 PM
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Im so sorry. This breaks my heart.
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  #38  
Old 05-10-2019, 06:46 AM
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Default Don't lose hope

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Originally Posted by AngelMindi View Post
For those who don't know my baby was serving a 13 yr prison sentence, his release date was Feb.7 2019, 2 weeks prior to that he received a detainer letter from another state for something that happened 13 yrs ago. On Feb. 6th they came for him after hiring an attorney and him being in jail for a week he plead guilty and got out on Feb.14th. I flew out to pick him up and get him back to where he needed to go because he was to report to a halfway house, his PO gave him 5 days to report so we had 5 days together that should of been perfect but in those 5 days life came to a halt. He suffered so much mentally in there and it was all starting to come out. He began talking to himself, didn't sleep or eat, wouldn't go out in public unless he was wearing a black facemask and a hood and black gloves, exercised more then he should of, he'd get dressed go outside and a minute or two come back undress and start to fight himself. We went out one night and some man accidentally came close to me and he saw it and he thought I was touching this man so he took the guy outside and beat the crap out of him and got violent towards me, I was able to talk him down and get him back to the hotel. When we got there he became violent physically and choked me and threatened me. After that he would not touch me or kiss me because the man that he thought I touched was of a different race so all hell broke loose. I did nothing wrong, I never touched this man but to him I did. Everyday his anger got worse and his mental status got even worser. My sweet baby boy was there but not there, does that make sense? He got so bad one night when we were out that the business called the police on him because he was scaring the customers with the way he was talking. The police came and saw how bad he was but they just told me to take him back to the hotel and watch him. The morning while at the bus stop waiting for the bus to take us back so he could check in at the halfway house by 3pm he decided he didn't want to go and wouldn't get on the bus, I had all our plane and bus tickets already purchased and couldn't switch anything because I was on a budget. So as I was boarding the bus in tears and hysteria he walked off with a homeless man. I called his PO and told him he wasn't coming back and that he wouldn't get on the bus, that was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I told his PO how mentally unstable he is and he needs help ASAP so he doesn't hurt himself or anyone else for that fact. When I got back home the next day I called the PO again to see if they got him yet and to this day which is over a month he is still homeless living on the streets. All they did was issue a warrant for violating parole. The state in which he was incarcerated destroyed him mentally, emotionally and turned him into an animal. He needed help and they just ignored it. I am so hurt and don't ever think I will see or hear from him again, maybe if he gets arrested he will finally call me. Hes been my life and my pride and joy and now its all gone. I'm not doing good at all, I miss him so freaking much and I am lost without him. I'm not even sure where he is anymore because he has no cell phone, he broke it. I am asking for no negative comments please, I am going through so much right now and I cant handle any criticism right now. This isn't the update I planned..this is so hard
Detainers are devastating! My husband was finishing up his sentence and in work release when DNA popped up from 2 burglary scenes from 3 years before. They put him back in prison and I had to bail him out 3 months later. Despite getting his job back and my doing all I could to reassure him, he quickly unraveled, drinking, getting back on drugs and losing his job. The prospect of going back to prison messed up his head so bad that he couldn't see how good we had it. He was verbally abusive and jealous as well as paranoid. I set boundaries with him, refusing to see or talk to him when he was argumentative and hateful towards me. He could be very loving too but the drugs made him unpredictable. I filed for divorce and we separated.

The rest of the year passed by with his lawyer getting continuances with the court. Several times he was taken into custody for his own safety, found wandering in his underwear, so high he couldn't give him name and they'd put him in treatment but could only hold him for a few days at time. I stayed in his life as much as I could while still managing my own life, work and children.

Finally, he missed a court date because he was convinced they were going to sentence him to prison. He got picked up and put in jail. Several months later, he signed a plea bargain to drug treatment with probation and no prison time! During the time he was in jail, he invited Jesus into his life again, thanks to an awesome church ministry there. While I did allow the divorce to go through (because I had promised to divorce him if he relapsed again) I can see a future for us when he gets out in a few weeks. I know it hurts right now, but God can work miracles. I used to pray for my husband to get arrested just so he would be safe. When he did, it saved him from himself.

Last edited by Jodygothisgirl; 05-10-2019 at 06:55 AM..
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Old 05-10-2019, 10:55 AM
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I hope he is able to defeat his addiction with the help of the treatment program.
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Old 06-04-2019, 11:16 AM
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This is so sad, my heart breaks for you. We already go through so much supporting them while they are inside, I know this was probably the last thing you expected to happen upon his release. This could have easily been anyone’s story, so devastating. I know how it feels to watch someone change before your eyes. I really feel bad that he is not getting the help he needs. Have you spoken with an attorney to see if you have a case against the state? This almost sounds like negligence. It doesn’t sound as if he was cared for properly. I’m no expert, just a concerned member of this online community. Sending love and light your way, please take care of yourself.
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