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  #26  
Old 07-18-2017, 10:37 PM
Mrs.Wrong Mrs.Wrong is offline
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Originally Posted by Daddysgal View Post
Anything can happen in prison/jail.. Phones have long lines, lockdown etc.. 4 days is not that long. I was freaking out last week over 2 weeks without hearing from my man and he called.. His back is really messed up and he was in a world of pain and waiting in line for the phone was making things worse. Also, where he is the phones are controlled by gangs. Try and be patient. But, however if you have truly had it with him then slowly pull away and see his reaction.. I agree with the other ladies.. His homies will disappear soon!!
Thank u so much for replying. Omg! I'm​ so sorry. I would be so worried knowing that the phones are controlled by gangs. That is also a fear of mine. I'm scared for him. We had a good talk and everyone's comments are seriously helping me. I have learned so much from y'all lovely ladies.. I appreciate each and everyone
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  #27  
Old 07-19-2017, 08:27 AM
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Yes I did. He got the letters today and explained my part and how I feel and he sounded so depressed. Telling me that God has him thinking alot and that he's sorry for being selfish. He never realized how much he had hurt me.. we had a good talk. I Know those letters hurt him but honestly that's how I was feeling. My heart has been hurt many times by him and I brushed my feelings to the side for his happiness.. I also told him that I shouldn't have reacted like that and that I was gonna try hard to work on myself. That I understand now that things can happen that are not his or my control. I'm trying hard to adjust to this new life and that we can work through this together.
It'll take time but you can adjust. Things do get a little more tolerable.
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  #28  
Old 07-19-2017, 02:03 PM
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At one point I waited a YEAR AND A HALF to hear back from him again. It was miserable. No phone calls, no letters, no nothing (I wasn't visiting him yet.)

When I finally heard back fro him I found out he had no control over the situation. He had been able to receive my letters but had a ban on contacting me for that period of time, because the counselor thought our relationship was inappropriate because we had said that we loved each other and I was married to someone else at the time (who was at that point terminally ill, and has since died.)

First of all, M is my best friend and has been for 23 years and it's not uncommon at all for best friends to tell each other that they love each other. Secondly, because of my then husband's circumstances we had made a decision that we wanted to be together later and that's when we said that we loved each other. There was no inappropriate content in our letters.

Basically, things happen in prison. Sometimes a finicky counselor, sometimes the guy themselves gets in trouble, sometimes they get transferred and have to earn mail back, point being, be prepared and realize that just because you may not currently have contact it doesn't mean necessarily that they don't love you anymore.
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  #29  
Old 07-22-2017, 09:52 PM
Daddysgal Daddysgal is offline
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Originally Posted by Mrs.Wrong View Post
Thank u so much for replying. Omg! I'm​ so sorry. I would be so worried knowing that the phones are controlled by gangs. That is also a fear of mine. I'm scared for him. We had a good talk and everyone's comments are seriously helping me. I have learned so much from y'all lovely ladies.. I appreciate each and everyone
I am glad things are better and you were able to have a good chat. I know this is a huge adjustment for you and it will get easier. Every time I start to freak out I take a deep breathe and I try and keep a level head... The gangs in prison worry me a little but, I know my guy keeps to himself. I worry about him getting depressed because his back is all jacked up right now..
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  #30  
Old 07-25-2017, 08:02 AM
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4 days isnt that long. Anything can happen. We decided not to have phone calls. Just letters and visits for over a year.
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  #31  
Old 07-26-2017, 05:09 PM
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4 days isnt that long. Anything can happen. We decided not to have phone calls. Just letters and visits for over a year.
Wow. And how did that go between y'all? And do y'all talk again?
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  #32  
Old 07-26-2017, 05:38 PM
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He was doing so good calling and bam 4 days no call. I'm just so tired of trying n trying n getting nothing in return.. should I give up? I feel so unappreciated. He had a homebody write him telling him how if he needed anything he would be there the most he could n then this dude is literally telling me how it was "gangsta" of his homeboy wanting to be there for him and seeing the friend make a effort but yet not once has even mentioned anything about me.. not even a thank u for putting money the times I do or keeping up with the phone or writing n writing NOTHING!!! I'm so pissed off! What should I do?! I'm torn into pieces
This is something you should bring up to his attention, and if he doesn't appreciate you then you know what to do.
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  #33  
Old 07-26-2017, 07:15 PM
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This is something you should bring up to his attention, and if he doesn't appreciate you then you know what to do.
Thank u. Unfortunately today he let his jealousy and anger get the best of him n broke up with me over the phone in a big ass argument
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  #34  
Old 07-27-2017, 01:03 PM
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Wow. And how did that go between y'all? And do y'all talk again?
. We had such a bad connection on the phone that you couldn't hear. We visit every week so its not a big deal. Only 54 more days. We have a good strong relationship.
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  #35  
Old 07-30-2017, 03:37 PM
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I haven't read all the replies so if this has already been said sorry.

if you want to leave because you're bring disrespected that's one thing. but 4 days without calls...c'mon now really. stop and think about how many things can affect their access to phones, most of which have nothing to do with you nor him. if a few days without calls is going to cause that much of a tailspin you are in for a very long haul.
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