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View Poll Results: Will he go back?
Of Course 22 10.78%
Not sure 9 4.41%
I hope Not 88 43.14%
NO NO NO ... NEVER 85 41.67%
Voters: 204. You may not vote on this poll

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  #26  
Old 07-16-2012, 02:47 PM
LisasTX LisasTX is offline
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He will not go back. He woudlnt do that to me, his family, or himself. And when he gets out he wants to help people not go back.
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  #27  
Old 09-15-2012, 04:44 PM
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I voted no never! Partly because this is the first time he has EVER been in trouble and he's in his 30's. And even though he's in for a violent offence, they we're very extreme circumstances that landed him there and I just can't see it happening again. I've thought about this alot from all angles and i just feel deep down that this a one off, and that is what has enabled me to forgive him and focus on supporting him!
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  #28  
Old 09-19-2012, 08:41 PM
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I'm going to have to say no. He have changed his life around since we've been together. He stays out of trouble and doesn't associate with people that does illegal things. So I'm very proud of all the things he's done so far. He can't wait to get out and start his business and finish the one that already started.
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  #29  
Old 09-19-2012, 08:50 PM
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All I can say is I hope not. He has to have his reasons to do things and if the reason is that his family has been betrayed he'll do anything to protect the family. I love him for that but I really hope he keeps his nose clean.
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  #30  
Old 09-19-2012, 08:57 PM
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I said no never because this is my first time going through this with him but according to the sheriff office where he is he is a bad boy and has been in more times than he can count.If he goes back after serving this sentence it could be 2018 before he gets out if he doesnt make parole next year then he will have to do the next bid without me because I love him alot but his kids deserve to have their dad around and if he chooses crime over them then I choose a diffrent path that doesnt include him.
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  #31  
Old 09-19-2012, 09:49 PM
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I said I hope not. I honestly believe this was a changing point, even his sister thinks so. However I know addicts slip (alcohol for him) and when he makes the dumb a** decision to drink dumb a** decisions follow. I hope that the risk of losing us, or of putting us through this again helps him make good decisions. I trust him with my life, I want to trust him with his life. Truth is I'm scared. Mostly of the walk home from work. I believe in him but I know that only goes so far till the day he believes in himself.
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  #32  
Old 09-21-2012, 10:58 AM
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I put I hope not - I hear him talking about how he wants the freedom and how he does not want to be there but at the same time I know he can talk a good game. We will have to wait and see if he can walk the walk.
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  #33  
Old 10-10-2012, 02:01 PM
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I hope not. I honestly thought when he started working again, he wouldn't get in anymore trouble. However that wasn't the case.
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  #34  
Old 11-17-2012, 05:48 PM
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Heck Noooo! After 17 years I'm claiming nooooo!
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  #35  
Old 12-18-2012, 07:11 PM
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No, J won't go back.

Sure, some could argue I'm being naive...but he's been home almost four months now, and I can see him making all the right choices...even when it's hard. He'll choose to spend all night with his grandparents (as "uncool" as that makes him look) over spending time with people who are making risky decisions with risky behavior, because he doesn't want to put HIMSELF at risk. And when he and I talk about the future, I can tell how serious he is about flying straight this time.

Is he perfect?

Nope, he has his flaws and his things to work on...but his priority is staying out of prison for the rest of his life. He never wants to go back.
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  #36  
Old 12-18-2012, 08:15 PM
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I answered No No Never..I wasn't with him when he was in before,but since we have been together I have seen so much growth in him. He has never had anyone in his corner before to believe in him and encourage him..I have complete faith in him to come home and never go back

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  #37  
Old 12-28-2012, 09:16 PM
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Not tht I don't have faith in him but anything can happen and so I answered I hope not...but watever the case I'm in his corner 110%
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  #38  
Old 06-01-2013, 10:29 PM
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Default Yes

My son has been in and out of the legal system for approximately 20 years. He will soon be 36.

I have come to believe that it is up to the individual. Until the person absolutely commits and believes they won't go back to prison, will that be accomplished.

I have had to face the reality that my son is most likely institutionalize. It took me years to even let that thought enter my mind. But it is what it is!

Too bad the government doesn't have any programs focused on this subject. But then again why should they, there is big, big, big, money in the prison business these days!

I would appreciate any information or feedback on the subject of institutionalization anyone might have!

Thanks!
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  #39  
Old 06-01-2013, 11:26 PM
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I voted no no never last year sometime..... boy was I wrong he was out 2 months n he got arrested yesterday not sure whats goinh to happen but I love him n I will b by his side ♥♥♥♥♥
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  #40  
Old 06-01-2013, 11:40 PM
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I know that this is his last time in. He took two strike with his deal so he does not have to room to anything else. If he get in trouble again its 25 to life
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  #41  
Old 08-01-2013, 09:02 AM
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Default Knowing if They Will Stay Out

Having been inside three times, let me give you some idea what to look for...to know if your guy or woman will stay out of prison when they get out.

Biggest and largest teller of success is what did they do in prison to make a change? I know that it was not until I woke up and saw that partying, drugs or drinking were not for me anymore. That all they did in my life is sap my motivation, my drive to succeed in life. It was not until that point in my prison time that I had any success in staying out.

Another facet that has to appear is an attitude adjustment. He/she cannot foster the viewpoint that cops or authorities are out to get them. I did that for the longest and all it brought me was grief and troubles. Once I changed my outlook to cops and authorities are just doing their job, I stopped seeing them as out to get me or cause me troubles. If I did what is right in life, I would have no issues with them.

One large step inside is to take advantage of every educational or training program you can. Heck, without a job skill when you get out, no one is going to hire you for any good job. I pushed myself to finish my college degree (associates in business admin), took an auto tech course through college and basically made up for my wasted time in school when I was a teen.

So where am I today? Free for more than twenty years. So I guess that perhaps I may know something about staying out of prison. So if your guy or lady is still in prison and you want to know to some degree of certainty if they will stay out...look to what they are doing and saying inside. It is a predicter of the future.
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  #42  
Old 09-11-2013, 08:34 PM
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I have no idea. He is a grown man. I refuse to hover over him worrying about the future. I have a full,happy life now,even though he is incarcerated,so my happiness is NOT contingent on what he does or doesn't do in the future.
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  #43  
Old 10-03-2013, 09:51 AM
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I know that my husband and I both changed while inside and a year ago, I would have sworn that neither one of us will never go back. Having said that, as long as my husband is on paper, he runs the risk of going back.

In this last year, we learned that as long as he is on paper, he can be falsely accused, arrested, mtr'd on that false accusation, and sent back to prison. It does not matter whether or not he committed a crime. The fact is, he is still on paper and if a crime is committed that he has a history of, he can be arrested and charged and although in the long run, he will be cleared, he still stands a chance of going back to prison.....period.

I am not writing this to be a naysayer, I am writing this because I watched our carefully constructed life come undone due to a baseless charge that took everything from us to the point that I was left homeless because of it.

In reality, I can promise that we no longer commit crimes, but I can't guarantee that a detective somewhere will not decide that a current crime bears a striking semblance to our previous MO's and won't charge us anyway. That, unfortunately, is the price we pay for our history and it is something that we were made extremely aware of when the nightmare began. Although we have proven him innocent, we are still paying for that baseless charge and I just can't say that it will not ever happen again....at least while he is on paper.
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  #44  
Old 10-21-2013, 01:47 PM
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NO NO NEVER.. first offense and he didn't even do the crime. was just there when it happened....E is supposed to get out soon... Sentence overturned.. He served 15 years! I have only been in this for a very short period of time..but done it before years ago for three years... I am not going to do that again!! If he had told me from the beggining that he had 15 years.. or ever 6 months.. dont think I could do it! Don't want the pain and sadness wanting him to come home .. In this siutation I don't know when.. but soon... worse case senario 3 months... I don't know how you guys do it.. have done it!!! #strongerthanme!

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  #45  
Old 06-29-2014, 10:30 AM
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Here are the statistics from BJS (76,6% are arrested within 5 years of release):
http://www.bjs.gov/index.cfm?ty=pbdetail&iid=4986

Something needs to change!
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  #46  
Old 07-02-2014, 05:29 AM
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I know I won't go back without a doubt for one simple reason. I will never again do anything illegal, nor will I be around anyone doing anything illegal. It is true that it is possible to be blamed for something you didn't do, but if you pick and choose where and who you hang out with the possibility of being railroaded is slim to none. I used to be one of those guys who thought my problem was that I wasn't "careful" enough. After 5 incarcerations I've come to the conclusion it was because I was committing crimes. The best way, for me, to stop committing crimes was NOT to worry about the consequences, but rather to realize criminal activity and criminal thinking is wrong. I know if I can do it anyone can.
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  #47  
Old 07-07-2014, 06:06 PM
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I would like to think not, but none of us have a crystal ball and can predict the future. He says that if he gets out he will not reoffend.. Only time will tell!
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  #48  
Old 01-25-2015, 11:41 PM
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In the last 6 yrs my hubby has gone back yearly for one thing: breeches for drinking. Last time he went back I knew he would again. He is a struggling alcoholic. He needs to tackle the issues that bring him back to alcohol. It's the only way he will stop drinking.
However the judge didn't extend his current probation so when he gets out he only has to survive 3 1/2 months. I don't see him committing crimes cuz he hasn't in a long time. So likely he won't go back this time. But you know what? That makes me nervous cuz now its 100% up to him to stop drinking. Jail won't give him a fresh start anymore. I think we both need help to survive after this stint. Alanon for me and digging in deep with his mental health workers for him
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  #49  
Old 01-25-2015, 11:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stacieswrath View Post
Honestly, Do you think this is his last bid? Not what you hope or what he tells you , Do You think this is it?

Me?
Although, I want this to be it, I just honestly dont think he will ever STOP. He is 44 yrs old and hasent yet. He is great for a year or so, then it all comes back.
So my answer is yes.
I voted "Not Sure," but to be honest, I've lost confidence in my inmate. He's been back in twice just during the time that I've known him, and multiple times before we met. Always the same promise, "Please don't leave me. I've changed. I love you. I'll do better." Always a disappointment. I've stuck by his side during this last round of trouble simply because my compassion won't allow me to abandon him during this terrible ordeal. Once he gets out though I can't promise that I'm going to stick around. This life with all of the instability, broken promises, heartache, indignity, and shame is just not the life for me.

Brings to mind a saying that I saw go across my Facebook feed earlier today: "'I'm sorry' coming from the mouth of one who continues to repeat the same poor choices over and over again means nothing."
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  #50  
Old 05-23-2015, 07:38 PM
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I voted "I'm not sure". A month ago my answer would have been more positive but now that he is within 6 months of release, the focus talk has changed from finding work and getting his drivers license back to the fun times of days past. I don't think he is going to groups or meetings anymore and spends much more time playing cards. I can't promise him I will keep him out of trouble, and he knows better than to ask as much of me.

Sigh.
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