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Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgendered People in Prison For anyone that has a same sex partner, family member, friend or Pen Pal in prison that is Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, or Transgendered.

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  #1  
Old 08-01-2003, 09:08 PM
lee1 lee1 is offline
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Question I'm Gay Going Into Federal - Am I Safe?

I am going into the federal system for 10 months. I will be at either the detention center at seattle or the camp at sheridan Oregon. The judge is making it so my other half can visit but anyone know how I will be treated???? HELP
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Old 08-07-2003, 12:12 PM
JCinNYC2003 JCinNYC2003 is offline
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Hi there. Unfortunately I can't speak to your question directly, since I've never been locked up. But I have several pen pals who are gay and in prison in Washington, Oregon and Texas. From what they've written me, it's a process to become known and respected in jail, and sometimes if they know you're gay it can be more problematic. One of my pen pals in Tx has had to fight a lot of victimization because of it, while another in Oregon has had lots of offers for sex. It seems in jail it's assumed a gay man will want to have lots of sex or at least be available for it. I know it's not great info, but I hope it helps. You might check out other forums on this sight for stories from ex-cons.
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Old 08-08-2003, 10:59 AM
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lee1,

I am sorry that I missed this post! I have sent you a Private Message...
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Old 10-19-2003, 05:28 PM
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Lee...it kind of depends on how old you are. My Godson has told me some horrific stories about what happens to gay "fresh fish" in the Federal System...things I would be afraid to even say in an open post...and he has only told me about one or two success stories. How old are you exactly? Under 40...I would be a little more than worried.
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Old 10-19-2003, 10:25 PM
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Is there a seperate are for gays and straights?
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Old 10-20-2003, 03:09 AM
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shrty33,

To answer your question - yes and no... Many things are dependent on that... a lot of gay men and women (that are open about it) may end up in segregation but they are not with a group that are specifically all gay... they are in segregation to keep safe from threats...

My Partner is open about his sexuality and gets by pretty well. He is 'seasoned' with 8 years behind him and does not take crap from anyone! He will stand up for himself and does... in essence he has respect and many friends that support him even though they themselves are not gay.

Many gay men never let on that they are gay and that keeps them safe.
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Old 10-20-2003, 06:37 AM
chifane chifane is offline
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Lightbulb Teb is correct...kind of...

Lee, I think it is important to say that Teb has made some valid points here. Some gays can go through the system "untouched", but it requires some skill. If you are very open...they may think that's an invite. If you try to hide it to much...it might present the forbidden fruit problem...and people usually take the forbidden fruit out of human nature. There is a middle ground and maybe Teb can talk the partner and ask about how one finds that middle ground...before worse come to worse. Have you ever seen "OZ"?
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Old 10-20-2003, 08:41 PM
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I was incarcerated for 4 1/2 years in a camp, and i'm built very well, as well as goodlooking. I was never bothered never!And everyone knew i was gay. The reason they knew i was gay is i hung out with this older guy-- he was gay and by association they knew.. I was just me --- it got sorta lonely at times because no one wants to be seen with you becuase of being accused of the gay issue.. I made a few friends and always held my head up .. It's funny i'm a white guy and none of the white guys would talk to me.. The black guys could care less --- and im not the type who acts like im black -- with them, its cool just dont walk around acting like a girl.. Yes i did have a few guys hit on me --- But remember this it takes 2.. The Italians who ignored me all the time
i'm sure in there twisted minds thought i was being punked out --- but that was far from the truth... Looking back it's a life lesson, because some people hate you for just who you are --- you can only be who you are and live your life ...
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Old 10-20-2003, 09:41 PM
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Good grief. Neither of your experiences makes the other any less valid. "Whereever you go, there YOU are." Good luck Lee. Walk tall and don't borrow tomorrow's trouble today as my Grammy would say.
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Old 10-30-2003, 10:25 PM
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Hey Lee
Just hold your head high, and know the person who you are. Never worry about what other people think, and stay strong. In visits, heaps of male inmates get other males visit them, so dont worry about it for even a second. Just be yourself. I wish you luck.
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Old 11-25-2003, 03:24 PM
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Good luck to you. Keep strong in your convictions and
Remember Hope is a good thing, it springs life eternal.
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Old 09-09-2004, 02:24 AM
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I Was Wondering What Happen In The Federal Prisons, My Ray Is In Phoenix, Arizona (fci) Is It Safe. Does Anyone Know What Goes On In There? Is There A Section For Gays? Thank You Jennifer35
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Old 09-09-2004, 07:32 AM
Phil in Paris Phil in Paris is offline
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Jennifer

I'm not quite sure I understand your question correctly. Who is "your Ray" ?? Your boyfriend or a gay friend of yours ???

There are no "section for gays" in prison, gays are human beings like any other human being, and are not "parked" apart from the general population.

Phil
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Old 09-09-2004, 08:02 AM
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Exactly, Phil.

I was in prison with lesbians, had a very sweet roomate that was lesbian as a matter of fact. They are certainly not people to be feared!!! They are just like everyone else.
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Old 06-12-2005, 07:10 PM
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***This is for anyone going in the prison system federal or state.***
I have served 18 months in state prison and 12 months in federal. The BEST advice I can give to anyone is this. Mind your own business. dont ask personal questions and dont volunteer any information on yourself.. Keep in mind that you are locked up with other felons. I am also gay. I chose to be myself. Dont volunteer your sexuallity but dont lye about it either. If asked about your sexuallity tell the truth, if you lye about it and then it ends up coming out, alot of inmates that you associate with that wouldnt normally associate with gays will feel decieved. Remember the truth will set you free. you will get alot more respect from everyone if you respect yourself. Good luck and god bless.
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Old 07-22-2005, 08:46 AM
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Post This IS what happens, so listen up.....

I was released two months ago from a federal prison following 4 years of a federal sentence. My first time was one I will never forget. I am a gay white man, good looking and very clean cut. I went from Beverly Hills to a prison overnight and my whole world was rocked but its not that bad. I thought I would die the first 6 months. Everything you are used to in daily life vanishes before your eyes and you become dependant on people you never would have thought you would hold a conversation with at all in your life. I am by no means a "flamer" but I could never deny that I was gay to anyone that asked and I maintained that position in prison and I can tell you from much experience it works the best. Countless people came up to me privately and told me they appreciate the fact I am open about being gay. So many people "try" to hide it in prison but the only thing they are doing is setting themselves up for problems, the one thing inmates hate the most is someone keeping a secret. And if your suspected of that you will be talked about and set up on many occasions, all just possible trouble you do not need. I was always joked with on a friendly matter about being gay, it was cool though but NEVER one time was I hated for it. I was compromised yes many times but never in an agressive way. In the feds you have your privacy to a limit, when stripped searched it must be done privately and when you shower its generally semi private. I was in an FCI low and an MCC high rise that housed low inmates on a certain floor and I never encountered anything negative regarding me being gay. To be honest I got more crap from female officers due to the fact I was getting alot of attention and they were not . If you go around flaunting yourself openly and putting your hands on others that may or may not want that you are going to get a bad rep and your going to be disliked, bottom line, be respectful and do your business in private and keep it limited. If your not picky and low key, IT WILL be all over the compound in a matter of seconds because believe me word travels at the speed of light. And I was also amazed at the types of men that are very interested in people like me on a physical means, I truly thought I was in never never land for a while. About a year into my sentence after my 8 year relationship at home ended I began opening up my feelings a bit to a Mexican inmate that really respected me on a personal level. I got involved with him and it seemed the entire prison knew about us but never talked about us in a bad way, it was that kind of respect you earn, not given. If you can achieve that kind of respect you build for yourself from day one then your going to be ok, if you put your sexuality in thier face you are going to be taunted and anything you have becomes up for grabs and I am not talking about your booty. You can have alot of fun if you remember this, I have seen to many gay guys come in and get rolled right back out. I always seperated myself from them right away because you will become part of their mess if you hang out with them. Choose your friends very carefully. AND NEVER keep secrets between others, it gets out and you get in trouble. Dont loan out anything or buy anything for someone that asks. Give away something you dont need but expect it not to come back and let that person know you are giving it to them because you were going to throw it out not because you want to give it to them. These are things I learned the hard way about. They may sound like a cliche but I am telling you IT HAPPENS. Just be thankful you are going to a federal prison, the feds do not tolerate problems against others. If you go to a medium FCI then the whole game changes, I understand its gets more complicated and serious from there up. Anything Low and below its a college campground feel that you cant leave from. Keep your hands to yourself unless invited and you know its a mutual thing IN PRIVATE and dont flaunt yourself, it just looks stupid and you make us all look like whores. I had more trouble trying to seperate myself from the previous gays that did all kinds of negative crap than anything, damage control was always on. If your ever caught doing anything sexual in prison you will go to the "hole" and lose good time and be seperated from that person. How do I know? Well I experienced that horrid moment in my life as well. A rookie officer happened to be working the night it happened, I did not know his routine and that was my mistake. I got caught with a weenie in my mouth so to speak and was escorted out of the unit with my counterpart to the hole. The entire prison found out in seconds and then it spread across the country, I am not kidding!!! I was well liked at this prison by inmates and staff alike. Word got out through transit inmates. That actually helped me, because I had a clean record in there and I got alot of support from gay and non gay staff. The rookie officer who wrote me up actually came up to me later in my sentence and apologized. He said things would have been different if he could do it over, I believe that was because his co workers really came down on him. I spent 5 days in the hole and lost 14 days of good time, was it worth it? NO but it was an experience. When your released from the hole you are generally sent back to your unit, on this type of charge your usually kept in segregation because it was a sexual matter, me and my counterpart were released back into the population but on different floors, I went back to my previous unit and was warmly accepted by the unit and actually assigned to a cell with a gang member, I thought uh oh he's going to make me go to a different cell because they are told by their "leader" not to be celling with a gay guy. He knew who I was and knew why I went to the hole and the allowed me to stay there, thats great respect. Later he put the moves on me to my surprise, so I did what I knew was right and moved with no hard feelings (no pun intended). No letter goes home to your family like the rumours say, the guy I was with was married and his wife came to see him often, to this day she does not know and yes, I still see this guy from time to time . Hey, we have alot to talk about these days. I have many many stories I could share about my time in federal prison but that would be a book. I can tell you there is a right way and a wrong way to do it, and you make that choice the first day you enter those doors. Good luck to you.
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Old 07-24-2005, 06:37 AM
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Animotion - great post - great information - this is exactly what this forum needs is some real life experience infused into the mix. We don't have a huge gay population on this site yet but I still believe that this is one of the best gay prisoner resources on the Internet today.

Thanks for your input and I hope that you have much more to offer!
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Old 07-24-2005, 06:59 AM
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Good luck and be strong. Remember we are here for you.
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Old 08-16-2005, 10:53 AM
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My boyfriend told me that they pick on easy targets. If someone tries you, stand up for yourself even if you know you'll get whooped. They'll respect you for having heart and most likely won't target you anymore. I agree with the others when they say not to flaunt your sexuality but don't try to hide it either. Just be who you are, don't ruffle any feathers, and stand up for yourself if anyone tries to mess with you. Good Luck!
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Old 08-17-2005, 05:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lee1
I am going into the federal system for 10 months. I will be at either the detention center at seattle or the camp at sheridan Oregon. The judge is making it so my other half can visit but anyone know how I will be treated???? HELP
Lee,
I cannot speak about the Federal System, but having just gotten out of the state system in Ky. I can speak with some knowledge.
The one thing that I can tell you for sure is that there is definetely a chance for trouble if you are "out" in any system! I am a gay man and I went into the system with no intention of being "out" although I am totally "out" on the streets.
I knew that I am capable of standing strong in any situation, but I also knew that I would have a hard enough time adjusting to life on the inside, it was my first time, and I did not choose to bring the extra baggage with me! I chose to keep my "secret" unless I was "outed" by someone who knew me on the streets.
I made up my mind that I would not engage in anything sexual on the inside no matter what, so I really did not think it should be an issue. I was very lucky that no one "outed" me even though several guys knew my "secret", so it never became an issue.
The way things generally are on the inside are this; there are generally "Daddies" and "Boys", the daddies generally take care of the boys [protection, financial help, etc.] and the boys take care of the daddies "needs". In most cases I saw the Daddy did not even consider himself to be gay, they were just doing what they had to do in order to get by until they could get back to women.
Strangely enough most of the "boys" did not consider themselves to be gay either, they too were just doing what they felt they had to do in order to survive!
I saw several cases of guys who were "out" and who were mistreated while the daddies and boys were not, it was like it was understood that one does what he has to do in order to survive and it is okay, but to "choose" to be gay and not go along with the status quo [be a daddy or a boy] was not okay.
It is generally very clearly understood that what goes on in the inside stays on the inside, therefore almost anything is accepted, but many guys who accept homosexuality on the inside do not accept people who do it on the outisde.
My best Buddy on the inside, a guy who taught me how to do time, was one of these people, he had no problem with daddies or boys but one particular guy we knew who was open was looked upon as some sort of freak! This man was someone who really helped me so much to learn how to live in the system and be respected, yet he was someone who, if he had known my "secret" would have had nothing to do with me, simply because I would engage in these acts when I was not in a situation where I needed to for whatever reason.
I guess that the short answer to your question Lee, is that anything is possible in prison, federal or state, and you simply have to make up your mind about who you want to be on the inside, and then stand strong! My life on the inside had very little to do with who I am on the street, so I made the decision to keep quiet about who I am out here and I firmly believe that it made my life easier in there.
The one thing to remember is that if you do have problems inside you can always "check in" [protective custody] but in my mind that is no way to live, you are not allowed outside, can only order necessities from canteen [shampoo, stamps, etc.] and it is a much more difficult way to do time!!
Doing time is just like real life, it can be dangerous, especially if you are different, but just keep to yourself and keep your mouth shut and you should hopefully be okay!! 10 months is not much time no matter where you are, so just lay back and be safe!
Best of luck to you!
Joe
[sorry I rambled on so long ]
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Old 12-16-2005, 01:32 PM
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dennis, if you say don't volunteer info but be honest about your sexuality, whats the message here? if you don't get personal how would the gay thing come up?
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Old 12-16-2005, 09:41 PM
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In other words, don't go telling everyone, "Hey I am gay!" However if/when you are approached about it, don't lie.
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Old 10-17-2006, 01:56 AM
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Default Being gay and being safe in federal prison

It all depends on how you handle yourself and where you are. In camps, lows and medical facilities (all of which I have experience of), you will in all probability be safe. Rape is very rare; physical assaults are very rare. You may be approached and it is up to you to accept or reject the overture. CONSENSUAL sex is quite common and in all the places I was, gays we very well tolerated. Just don't get in anyone's face (the same goes for everyone, not just gays).

Remember, most federal joints are not like OZ or Prison Escape.
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Old 10-17-2006, 01:58 AM
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Default Depends on place

A very moving story. In the federal system, being "out" is not really a problem in camps and "lows". Daddies and boys don't exist. I hear they do at USPs but they are an entirely different story. Perhaps someone with USP experience can comment.

Again, handle yourself carefully. Respect others. And be circumspect. The same advice applies to all newbies.
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Old 07-30-2019, 05:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lee1 View Post
I am going into the federal system for 10 months. I will be at either the detention center at seattle or the camp at sheridan Oregon. The judge is making it so my other half can visit but anyone know how I will be treated???? HELP
It's been 16 years since you posted this forum.
Chances of you seeing this message are extremely low.
I came across to this page while I was researching for a paper.
If you ever read this message: how was your experience?
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