18 pregnant and boyfriends incarcerated

trrinnababy · #1 09-15-2007, 01:43 PM

i just turned 18 and im currently 8 months pregnant. if anyone can let me know how you or someone you know delt with a situation like this. any advice?

*Noir* · #2 09-16-2007, 08:33 AM

i'm in a similiar situation.. i got pregnant right before my bf went to jail.. he was my ex at the time and it was a later boyfriends baby.. but either way he is going to be the father figure in my baby boy's life.. it's scary though because he might not be out for several more years and he's going to miss my son's birth and the first few years of his life..
so idk, i guess that's similiar to your situation.. i just send him sonogram pictures and things like that to keep him included on everything that's going on with the baby.. I also suggested to him that he writes our future son letters that he can read when he is old enough.. I've heard it's a good thing to do and I think it's a good idea. It keeps him close to the child even if he isn't going to physically be around.. I just keep him informed on every little thing.

trrinnababy · #3 09-16-2007, 08:21 PM

yea my boyfriend went in about a month or so ago. im due october 20th. i decided that since he cant be here i can record her birth. it sucks because he wanted to be there for his child and be able to provide for her, but unfortunately he cant. i dont know how long he will be away but i pray and wish upon every shooting star that he comes home soon.

missinghim6 · #4 09-17-2007, 12:24 PM

I was 19 when pregnant with our oldest he went in about a month into that pregnancy, got out a month after the birth. The other time I was 5 months with our youngest and got out 4yrs later. It's hard but you get through it with support from family. Sent alot of baby pictuers, birth announcements and did some visits.

lilwedita2006 · #5 09-17-2007, 06:32 PM

mines is a lil different my kids are 9 and 7 but so hard because they ask questions like when is daddy gonna come home i just try to go theu everyday explaining to them he loves them and will stay in touch ith letters and stuff. me and him are no longer together but i do what i can to help him now hes facing deportation im not sure how ill deal with that with the kids hes been gone for almost 3 year now

hutzelman · #6 09-17-2007, 06:45 PM

i just went through it my man got locked up when i was 2 months pregnant with our youngest. i was 19 when i got pregnant with my 2nd. its really hard especially since im now raising a 5 week old and a 16 month old on my own plus helping with his 3 girls all 6 and under. but i love him and being locked up has helped him I still want him home though. talking to family and friends has helped me. if anyone needs someone to talk to let me know im here

gunnaswife · #7 09-22-2007, 08:41 AM

you'll be just fine, trust and believe. We have 3 children and they are ages 5, 3, and 1. He was arrested 2 weeks before I went into the hospital and it killed him the fact that he missed the birth of our youngest daughter. But like everyone said i take pictures every month, haven't been to visit since he went up state still waiting for the kids to be approved to visit and let him talk to the older two constantly so that they know dad still loves them. I was upset at first but i have loved him too long, so i hang in there and take it one day at a time.

Ms. pooh · #8 09-22-2007, 07:26 PM

I was six and a half months pregnant when my man was found guilty i was truly disapointed when the judge would not let him stay out on bail until sentencing. never the less I had my daughter alone she is now one and I go and see him every 2 weeks It is hard but if it is real love you will get through it patiently.

dymepiece_21 · #9 09-26-2007, 08:20 AM

i was 8 months pregnant when my baby daddy was incarcerated. i was really mad at first because it was all his fault. he decided when i was 8 months pregnant to go & try to rob someone for dope. im 17 & hes 21. My son was due 2 days before his dads birthday & ended up being born a month early. (1 week after his dad became incarcerated) i was so mad that i had to go through all this stuff by myself & that my son was gonna grow up not really knowing his daddy. my son had a hard first start to life, in & out of hospitals & was even on a ventilator for a week. hes 7 months old now, & i thought it would never get any harder than it was when he was born, but boy was i wrong. When my son sees his daddys pictures its "da da da da" & "da-dee" & he starts waving. It kills me that my son has only touched his daddy one time & he still loves & misses him so much, & hes only 7 months old. the only way that i know to get through it, is to just put all your focus & energy on your baby and making their life the best that you can. my baby daddy has no idea when hes getting out, its been 7 months & he still hasnt went to court over it, but it makes it a little better to know that im being the best mom & dad that i can to my son until his daddy comes home.

mistakes · #10 09-29-2007, 09:45 PM

hmmmm well i became preg with my ex baby. he got locked up. i did 8 months alone. he came out and was here the first 6 months of our sons life and then he got locked up. he stupidly decided to sell drugs again though i tried to do right. made a long story short. now i refuse to let my son see him. hes 9 months now. i am not taking his son away from him. he took himself away from his son. when he is out he can deside whether or not he wants to be in his life.

depending on how he was before and how much time he has would help me out on a desition if i was you

what i learned though is buck up... take care of you and your baby first.go to school and dont stop. do for you and dont let anyone run over you. why did he go in? how was the relationship before he went in? and most important do you want your baby to grow to be just like him. these are questions i asked myself. ive been through hell with him. being preg and a single mother while hes in, sometimes takes a toll on a woman and she will make excuses and fanasys for him to keep the family together in her head. if hes worth it then go for it. but your young, dont waste time.
do whats best for you and your child.

mistakes · #11 09-29-2007, 09:50 PM

hmmmm well i became preg with my ex baby. he got locked up. i did 8 months alone. he came out and was here the first 6 months of our sons life and then he got locked up. he stupidly decided to sell drugs again though i tried to do right. made a long story short. now i refuse to let my son see him. hes 9 months now. i am not taking his son away from him. he took himself away from his son.

depending on how he was before and how much time he has would help me out on a desition if i was you

what i learned though is buck up... take care of you and your baby first.go to school and dont stop. be someone besides his girl. do for you and dont let anyone run over you.

ThatOneChick · #12 10-06-2007, 10:47 PM

Hey girl, I was 20 years old and 5 months pregnant when my boyfriends face was plastered all over the news for robbing 2 gas stations and oh yeah, a bank. My daughter is now 5 years old and she dreams of the day when her daddy can be here to take her to the park or go on walks or take her to chuckecheese. The best thing you can do is do good for yourself and your baby. I've been in school since she was 4 months old and probably will be for another 5 years. You can only give your baby the best. I take her to see him a couple times a year and help her write letters to him and she colors him tons of pictures. He calls and talks to her on the phone and he sends letters and drawings of her favorite superheros and cartoon characters for her and she loves him with all her heart. He still has about 3 or 4 more years to go but she is dying for him to come home...Good luck and keep your head up, I can't say it will be easy, but God has blessed you with a little angel and he wants you to do the best you can.