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Raising Children with Parents in Prison For the Parent left behind with children AND for the Children that have a parent inside. Discussion of unique challenges facing this group!

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  #1  
Old 09-06-2007, 03:43 PM
Masterpink007 Masterpink007 is offline
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Question First time being a single parent??

Ok, 28 days and counting doing this single parent thing to our three and a half year old and I think I really stink at it. I'm with her 24-7 and it's becoming very difficult. Our daughter is having abandonment issues, thus ends up in my bed even though she gets put to bed in her own. She asks me every day if I'm going to leave her too. Yet at the same time she has been a tremendous pain not listening, falling back on stuff that she learned MONTHS ago. Sometimes, when she's acting out and I know it's just because of her own frustrations and emotions with daddy being gone, I just want to hold her. I'm getting presured by another person in my household to spank her more and give her more time outs. I agree there is a time and place for those, however I feel like it's almost making her behave worse not better. Plus, the first thing she does when on time out is cry for her daddy

Anyways, I was just wondering if anyone else out there is dealing with the same things or have. Sometimes I think I'm just not a single parent type person, yet here I am.
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Old 09-07-2007, 05:19 PM
YanktonWife YanktonWife is offline
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I feel for you, but it sounds like you already know your answer! Don't let anyone pressure you to punish her more, you know what she needs, just hold her and be sure to tell her that daddy loves her. And that you do too! It is a very difficult journey, but it sounds like you are very intuitive with your daughter.
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Old 09-07-2007, 05:29 PM
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MountainMom MountainMom is offline
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I can only try to feel your pain. 3 1/2 is such a hard age anyway, don't think it's you. They are learning how to manipulate you anyway and she's missing her Daddy on top of it all. My best suggestion is to be as consistent, firm and loving that you can be because she will need all three. Do just as you are by loving her and going with your gut and reassuring her that her Daddy misses her and loves her. Will you get visits? Once she gets in a routine, hopefully things will settle down some for all of you.
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Old 09-08-2007, 12:13 AM
mrs joe mrs joe is offline
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my son was 2 when daddy went away to "school" it was the only he could comprehend at the time & we still call it that...to avoid issues for him at his school. he's 4 now & we've run the whole gambit of the separation anxiety (he wouldn't eat for days), potty training was / sometimes still is a huge hassle, he now is becoming more difficult since it's been such a long time. he really is needing daddy to be home. and i do to...Joe's the icing between our son & me! when my son is punished or angry he will cry for daddy as well, but that's human nature. give her time to adjust...she will and talk to her about what is going on. that seems to help for us. the bed thing, yeah, my boy won't go to bed, and winds up in my bed til morning. he needs the security & to be honest that's been nice for me as well. he's even decided when daddy comes home, daddys going to sleep in his room & i can sleep in mine all by myself. and i'm sure daddy will do whatever this little man wants when the time comes.
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Old 10-10-2007, 07:41 PM
rolandcrazy rolandcrazy is offline
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Default Single parenting

This s my twenth day of being a single parent to a three year old and a ten month old. My Son Brian who is three is taking his dad being gone the hardest because when Brian was born. worked forty hours a week and daddy took care of him, and now I have no idea how to handle him he out of contol. It has been so hard with him gone. I do not even know how long he s going to be in jail.
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Old 10-10-2007, 07:56 PM
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nimuay nimuay is offline
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You need to find counselors for your kids - they clearly need extra help, and so do you! The kids aren't just dealing with abandonment by dad, but by the vibes you're giving off, too. That's why you can't get much accomplished in the discipline department. You may act "normal", but the kids pick up far more than you realize, and you're all torn up right now. It will get better, as you become accustomed to your new situation, but if you get a little help now, it will be much easier.
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