Welcome to the Prison Talk Online Community! Take a Minute and Sign Up Today!






Go Back   Prison Talk > LOVING A... > Loving a Long-term Sentenced Offender
Register Entertainment FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

Loving a Long-term Sentenced Offender For those whose loved one is serving 10+ years.

View Poll Results: If the roles were reversed, would your LO do everything you have done?
Yes, Without a doubt 122 44.04%
No, They would drop me like a hot potato 30 10.83%
For a little while, then they would stop 42 15.16%
I don't know 83 29.96%
Voters: 277. You may not vote on this poll

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #26  
Old 08-12-2014, 09:09 PM
LillyVphoenix's Avatar
LillyVphoenix LillyVphoenix is offline
Spook's Lazy Butt
 

Join Date: May 2014
Location: Home is AZ/ my heart is in Tennessee
Posts: 1,444
Thanks: 271
Thanked 976 Times in 632 Posts
Default

Llf hahahahah Hell no! we have never had this conversation but i doubt it, i dont blame him.
__________________
We're fearless, we're stupid, we're dealers, we're losers.
We're killers, we're orphans, we're addicts, we're stealers.
We're shooters so kill us. We are what they say we are until conformity hits us.

Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to LillyVphoenix For This Useful Post:
Kerima (08-13-2014), Quetz (03-26-2015)
Sponsored Links
  #27  
Old 08-15-2016, 04:50 PM
WaitingWilkes WaitingWilkes is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Tennessee, USA
Posts: 999
Thanks: 595
Thanked 724 Times in 417 Posts
Default

I'm sure my wife would want to stick by me and give me the support I'd need inside if our roles were reversed. I think I would probably try to convince her to make a life with someone else after I ran out of appeals. I'm not sure I'd be able to live with the guilt of letting her destroy her life for something I did. I wouldn't want her to grow old alone, with nobody to care for or about her.
Reply With Quote
  #28  
Old 08-17-2016, 01:42 PM
Apiratesheart's Avatar
Apiratesheart Apiratesheart is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Colorado, USA
Posts: 64
Thanks: 28
Thanked 18 Times in 14 Posts
Default

my fiance swears he would do it...and I believe he would...at first but pretty soon couldn't hold out. Its easier for him to say that when he is in a controlled environment away from temptation.

It doesn't bother me, most men couldnt do a lot of things without the help of us ladies hahahaha!
Reply With Quote
  #29  
Old 08-17-2016, 01:46 PM
Apiratesheart's Avatar
Apiratesheart Apiratesheart is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Colorado, USA
Posts: 64
Thanks: 28
Thanked 18 Times in 14 Posts
Default

I agree and would do the same. I know there are no set time limits but like anything over 10-ish years is kinda selfish to ask the person to stay committed even though some ladies dont mind.


Quote:
Originally Posted by WaitingWilkes View Post
I'm sure my wife would want to stick by me and give me the support I'd need inside if our roles were reversed. I think I would probably try to convince her to make a life with someone else after I ran out of appeals. I'm not sure I'd be able to live with the guilt of letting her destroy her life for something I did. I wouldn't want her to grow old alone, with nobody to care for or about her.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Apiratesheart For This Useful Post:
WaitingWilkes (10-28-2017)
  #30  
Old 10-28-2017, 05:13 AM
judiwoo's Avatar
judiwoo judiwoo is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Nevada/UK
Posts: 895
Thanks: 188
Thanked 789 Times in 464 Posts
Default

We have talked about this and he said that he would without a doubt. I really hope it would never happen though as I wouldn't want him to go through all the emotions that I have. Hopefully I have more sense.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to judiwoo For This Useful Post:
WaitingWilkes (10-28-2017)
  #31  
Old 10-28-2017, 08:48 AM
WaitingWilkes WaitingWilkes is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Tennessee, USA
Posts: 999
Thanks: 595
Thanked 724 Times in 417 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by judiwoo View Post
We have talked about this and he said that he would without a doubt. I really hope it would never happen though as I wouldn't want him to go through all the emotions that I have. Hopefully I have more sense.
There are so many federal, state, county and local laws it's kind of surprising more of us aren't in the system. I think most of us have probably thought, "There but for the grace of God go I" while we sit in a room crowded with inmates during visits.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to WaitingWilkes For This Useful Post:
xolady (10-28-2017)
  #32  
Old 10-28-2017, 11:39 AM
miamac's Avatar
miamac miamac is online now
Site Moderator Gone Mad

Staff Superstar Winner PTO Site Moderator 

 

Join Date: May 2013
Location: ORnativeAZresCAtied
Posts: 8,165
Thanks: 10,525
Thanked 13,825 Times in 5,324 Posts
Default

I don't think I could do it. I give him a lot of credit for being in there and not allowing our very different lives to drive us apart. My head would go crazy with the "what ifs".

We talked about it. He swears he would because he knows what it's like to not have someone and, for him, he feels healthier being partnered. But in that conversation, he also said that it would be easy for him to put money on my books and keep the phone running, but coming to visit would be hard. I think his point was that he would hate coming back into that environment, would hate seeing me go through that stuff and then would have to walk away and leave me there. He's been in prison since the age of 19, so he doesn't really have a free-world view of a being a partner minus incarceration. It made sense to me.

I guess bottom line is between my neurosis and his past experience, we'd probably split up but remain solid friends.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to miamac For This Useful Post:
WaitingWilkes (10-28-2017)
  #33  
Old 10-28-2017, 12:34 PM
nygirl17 nygirl17 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,531
Thanks: 98
Thanked 1,454 Times in 953 Posts
Default

We ofcourse had this discussion. First of all I will never do anything to end up in prison if I can help it anyway but with that being said he told me with out a doubt he would be there for me. He would visit he would send me money and he would put money on the phone. Writing is a different story. He said he would jpay but that's about it. He's the same now though. And he said it would be hard on him to visit because he wouldn't want to leave me there but I go through that visiting him so it's the same. Put Our love will keep us strong and we can make it through anything but I will not be alone again. He knows this and I know this but I'll never be divorced so he knows to be good and so do I.
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #34  
Old 10-28-2017, 02:19 PM
WaitingWilkes WaitingWilkes is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Tennessee, USA
Posts: 999
Thanks: 595
Thanked 724 Times in 417 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by miamac View Post
... would hate seeing me go through that stuff and then would have to walk away and leave me there. ...
Leaving her behind is always very hard.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to WaitingWilkes For This Useful Post:
miamac (10-28-2017)
  #35  
Old 11-13-2017, 05:03 AM
Kirin's Avatar
Kirin Kirin is offline
Coopers disciple
 

Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Germany
Posts: 154
Thanks: 5
Thanked 44 Times in 35 Posts
Default

He would write, maybe send something now and then, but not much more than that. He would be very busy all the time.
Reply With Quote
  #36  
Old 11-13-2017, 07:23 PM
xolady xolady is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: May 2014
Location: highlands, florida
Posts: 4,153
Thanks: 7,061
Thanked 3,966 Times in 2,126 Posts
Default

I am actually very honest on this one and I say hell no my husband would never have done what I did but I really never expected I'd ever go to prison either. I knew what I was getting involved with and so did he. I was like the poster child for what a wife should be, he was what my mother always warned me about!!! I was just talking to my MIL and I told her I am still so not ready to ever meet a man. She hates that I'm alone and really would love for me to meet someone, and said my husband would want me to be happy and find someone.. I just don't believe it, and I know he never would have stuck by me the way I did him. If nothing he was honest and was like are you kidding when I asked him this, I said no not joking he said honey I love you with all my heart and no one could ever come close to filling your shoes but I'm not sure I could live with out someone in my life everyday. I never found out and I don't know but I just don't think most men are like women when it comes to fidelity.
Reply With Quote
  #37  
Old 11-13-2017, 07:51 PM
InLuvWithALifer's Avatar
InLuvWithALifer InLuvWithALifer is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: NY, USA
Posts: 87
Thanks: 4
Thanked 32 Times in 20 Posts
Default

No, and I'd never expect it. Women (and the rare man) are built to take care of and nurture even if we have to do so from afar. You have to have a special kind of heart and love for a man or a woman to do this. I can see how B's crime occurred and all I am for him is all he never had in life growing up. When you get involved in an MWI you choose it, I chose this. He would never choose such a thing if the roles were reversed.

Just as a P.S I was also a military wife twice over dealing with long deployments so maybe that gave me some practice... dang I never thought of it, how huge a difference between the reasons my men were away!

Last edited by InLuvWithALifer; 11-13-2017 at 07:54 PM..
Reply With Quote
  #38  
Old 11-13-2017, 10:26 PM
MrsDeeKay MrsDeeKay is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: LA USA
Posts: 297
Thanks: 215
Thanked 238 Times in 121 Posts
Default If the Roles were reversed?

Sorry trying to delete post as it did not apply to topic.

Last edited by MrsDeeKay; 11-13-2017 at 10:28 PM.. Reason: Edited to delete.... not a long time offender so post doesn’t apply
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 11:05 AM.
Copyright © 2001- 2017 Prison Talk Online
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Website Design & Custom vBulletin Skins by: Relivo Media
Message Board Statistics