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When the Relationship is Over... This forum is about discussing your thoughts, feelings and issues now that you and your incarcerated (or formerly incarcerated) loved one are no longer together. (This forum is NOT for bashing - please read the rules before posting.)

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  #1  
Old 03-11-2005, 10:08 AM
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Default Decided to end it

Well I finally decided to end it. After him being in 8 years -- he still doesnt take fault in his doings. ( trying to say that since a couple of officers put down the wrong name down that he was innocent-- but he was caught there by the K-9 unit). He doesnt understand the pain he has caused anyone. He cant admit that he has a serious problem. He blames everything on the system I have known this man for 16 years but only together for the last year. I have bascially put myself in debt over him. He kept pushing for me to do something to get him out ( like I could). I have done so much research and contacting people for him but in all reality he did his crime. After reading papers and questioning him and his family-- I saw all the lies he has done.I have no confidence in him-- I would really be scared if he got out.i would not be able to be around him for the fear of being hurt or my family. No more. This is something I have been struggling with for the last few months and I finally came to the relality that I need to be happy, and I havent been 100 %.I just cant do it. I cant be his savior, his sugar mama, or his attorney.I feel good about my choices that I have made. I commend everyone in their strenght to endure the time your loved one is in. And I wish you all the best. I have no ill feelings towards him. Its an experience I will never forget or ever go back into again.

Thank you all for the support I have recieved. I have developed some close relationships, that I will cotinue. And I will probably pop on here every once in awhile to just say hi . Take care everyone.
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Old 03-11-2005, 11:27 AM
Rostonhall Rostonhall is offline
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Mrs. B, the choice has to be yours. Nobody can say whether you are right or wrong, we must all make our own decisions. Keep in touch and all the very best to you.

Rose
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Old 03-11-2005, 02:01 PM
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I can hear and feel your pain. I am sorry that you have been through so much. Like Rose said the choice has to be yours. You have to be able to be comfortable in your decision. Best of luck to you.
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Old 03-11-2005, 02:22 PM
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Mrs B--
You must take care of you first and it sounds like this is what you are doing. Come around and let us know whats going in your life. Take care.

ONE
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  #5  
Old 03-11-2005, 03:09 PM
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Post my baby manny

hi everyone wel im in the kind of the same feeling mrs.b but i got alot of feelins for this person and i end it to not to long ago it was hard and i feel a lil relief cause i got 5 kids to take care of and i couldnt just get up and leave like the way he wanted m to and take care of him to no hes not the father of my kids hes my first love and and i love him for so long hes always been in my heart and i nevr forgot him till this day i miss him so dearly i stood by himm for 4 yrs and off and on relationship but now i realize i wasnt happy y cause the relationship i want with him is out here not in ther hes to far hes doing life my heart goes to him and im feeling bad at sometimes cause i know ive hurt him i dont wanna loose his freinds ship and i really dont wanna let go of him i know this is kinda long but i felt i needed to talk to someone i hope im making since or any of u guys feeling the same way thax to anyone hearing me out and mrs.b u did wat u had to do u be happy from nini
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Old 03-11-2005, 07:34 PM
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I know the last few months have been hard for you, I have been there for you, and I always will be. Your like a little sister to me, and I have to agree, he is not willing to admit his guilt, and that is something he has to do, to be on the right road, and we both know he will never do that.
I am here for you all the time, you know that. love ya.
I am in a rough spot myself right now, and I don't know what will happen, but I need to decide soon, and I will.
Manny, you and I both are having the same problem. My Man questions where all of my money goes, if I don't send him money. He wants to know why I don't go visit. I am a single Mom raising my Child with no help from her father, I have to pay all of my own bills, and I don't have help from anyone. During the first 3 or 4 months of the year, everything is slow, so money is tight, and my man doesn't understand that. So we are having problems now ourselves.
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Old 03-11-2005, 07:38 PM
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I am sorry that this has happened to you! I hope you find happiness and what you really need in your life. Good luck & Hang in there!
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Old 03-11-2005, 11:55 PM
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I'm sorry for what you are going through. We all have to listen to our guts, follow our instincts. sometimes we don't know our man's families or friends, to kind of put him in perspective, like we would with someone "out in the world". And Ahna, that man should kiss your feet and not question how YOU spend YOUR money! Your children need to come first. Some men change, some do not.
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Old 03-12-2005, 02:52 AM
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It really annoys me when I hear of the demands some men put on those outside who have a hard enough time as it is making ends meet. They seems to have this very unrealistic view of what happens on the outside and your priorities should always be with yourself and your children, if you have them.

If I can help at all, even if you just need someone to rant at, then please do contact me. I'm one of the lucky ones, Tony makes no demands on me or what we have.

Rose
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Old 03-12-2005, 03:36 AM
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MrsB~I'm sorry things have gone this way for you and understand what a hard decision you had to make. Please take care of yourself. PM if you ever want to talk...

Patty
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  #11  
Old 03-12-2005, 05:25 PM
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I have decided to end it with Tony. I can't handle a lot of what is going out, the constantly being grilled about everything. What I do with my money, when do I work. Granted, I know if he was out, it would be the samething, but he is in prison for the rest of his life, and he doesn't understand how much the world really has changed since he went to prison. I know this is the right thing for me to do. I will still be on here to support the friends I have made. But I know I need to get out and have a life also, and enjoy it while I am young.
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Old 03-12-2005, 06:57 PM
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I support both of you because I believe you both know what you can deal with and what you can't. I think we all have to decide at some point and sometimes multiple times as to whether or not this is a realtionship you can handle and if this is a person you can be with forever no matter the circumstances. I know in 3 1/2 years I have had to recommit myself several times to being with Ron and he has an out date. He and I have been having our problems lately as one of the other Illinois threads explains, but I am really going to hope and pray we will get through this one too. As for Ron he was able to admit his fault and he doesn't dare grill me about the money I make because as he knows he won't get anything if he pushes it. I do hope that both of you stick aorund though because I do enjoy your posts. I may not post a lot, but I read a lot and there are so many of you that I laugh and cry with and I never say much, but I am with you.
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Old 03-13-2005, 03:23 AM
Rostonhall Rostonhall is offline
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I'm sorry to hear that, Ahna, but as I said to Mrs B only you can know what's best for you.

You have my email if you ever want to talk, just sorry I won't be meeting you later this month.

Take care and good luck.

Rose
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