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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

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Old 02-14-2021, 07:17 PM
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Default Is it all a fantasy?

I know I can't be the only one with this problem. When you have no visits, just phone calls, just letters. When the love of your life is nothing more than a voice on the other end, a phantom who sends you presents and letters, do you ever wonder if it's real? Does it ever feel like you're in love with a fantasy? How do you get over that? How, when we can't see them, do you make yourself realize it's a real human being on the other end of the phone, not just a voice. That a real person is writing, not just a prankster. I know he's real. I've seen him before. We have a history together. A very complex, unique history. But all this time without a face.... Is this what those with men oversees feel like? Those who knew their POW was alive but couldn't talk to them? I can only guess.
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Old 02-14-2021, 08:21 PM
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Yeah that's what hit me last month. I haven's seen mine since September 2019. There's 4 phones for 250 guys where he's at, and I'm lucky to get one call a week. And then he's had major depression and hasn't written much lately. I know the feeling. I have to look at my marriage certificate all the time to convince me it's real.
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Old 02-15-2021, 02:22 PM
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I feel you, I haven't seen my husband in person since December 2019. Its being married but living a single life. We write most days and calls are as and when due to pandemic lock downs. Its so hard but I am hanging on because I love him. This life isnt for everyone and its Ok to be fed up or re evaluate what you want , have a moan, take a break, punch a pillow. Its all OK.
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Old 02-16-2021, 10:24 AM
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Being isolated is hard on a relationship. The only choice we have is tough it out until things return to whatever will pass for normal.
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Old 02-23-2021, 11:58 AM
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There are many circumstances in life when we don't have access to our loved ones, and yet the love is very real. The most radical example is when a loved one dies. People continue to love the ones that have passed away -- spouses, parents, children, siblings -- and that love is NOT a fantasy. Love transcends space and time -- even death.

The challenge for us in this situation is not to equate love with seeing and touching, even though it is the most natural and desired expression of love, and our loved one is right over there, just over that fence! But love is a commitment of an inner kind of gaze, if you think deeply on it. Once established, it is not contingent on external circumstances.
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Old 02-23-2021, 01:07 PM
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[quote=Taliba00;7832602]There are many circumstances in life when we don't have access to our loved ones, and yet the love is very real. The most radical example is when a loved one dies. People continue to love the ones that have passed away -- spouses, parents, children, siblings -- and that love is NOT a fantasy. Love transcends space and time -- even death.

The challenge for us in this situation is not to equate love with seeing and touching, even though it is the most natural and desired expression of love, and our loved one is right over there, just over that fence! But love is a commitment of an inner kind of gaze, if you think deeply on it. Once established, it is not contingent on external circumstances.[/QUOT



Needed to hear this today. Thank you. ❤️
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Old 02-23-2021, 01:46 PM
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Looking back Iíve never felt it was all a fantasy but Iíve felt like I was in the wrong movie a lot.
I didnít see him often anyway because we were always oceans apart.
It can all work but 2 have to tango. Communication is the key.
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