Welcome to the Prison Talk Online Community! Take a Minute and Sign Up Today!






Go Back   Prison Talk > FOR FAMILY & FRIENDS > Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison
Register Entertainment FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 07-10-2018, 05:00 PM
breanna05 breanna05 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: TX
Posts: 21
Thanks: 9
Thanked 5 Times in 4 Posts
Default I found out his facility is Co-gender. I have issues with it.

So this may make me look dumb for asking this question but I found out Henderson isf faculty is co gender. Does that mean that they are all in the same unit but separate from each other or does that mean that the male and female inmates have classes together please someone answer I just want to know.
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #2  
Old 07-10-2018, 05:47 PM
fbopnomore fbopnomore is offline
Site Moderator

PTO Site Moderator Staff Superstar Winner 

Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 26,611
Thanks: 39,998
Thanked 19,530 Times in 11,454 Posts
Default

I hope someone who knows about that prison will answer your question. It is a privately owned prison
https://www.tdcj.state.tx.us/unit_directory/xq.html

and the most recent audit report for that prison
http://www.mtctrains.com/wp-content/...dit_Report.pdf
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 07-10-2018, 06:21 PM
breanna05 breanna05 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: TX
Posts: 21
Thanks: 9
Thanked 5 Times in 4 Posts
Default

[quote=fbopnomore;7732450]I hope someone who knows about that prison will answer your question. It is a privately owned prison


I'm frustrated because I don't know if anybody can answer this question for me I just want to know if they have classes together
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 07-10-2018, 06:39 PM
WeepingWillow's Avatar
WeepingWillow WeepingWillow is offline
Southern Fried Site Moderator on Leave

PTO Site Moderator 

 

Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,748
Thanks: 3,023
Thanked 3,032 Times in 1,099 Posts
Default

I don’t have an answer for you, but I’m sure your boyfriend knows!
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 07-10-2018, 06:58 PM
breanna05 breanna05 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: TX
Posts: 21
Thanks: 9
Thanked 5 Times in 4 Posts
Default

Well it takes him days to call me he said he'll call me next month. I would ask him if I found out sooner
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 07-10-2018, 06:59 PM
jordan321's Avatar
jordan321 jordan321 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: Arizona
Posts: 209
Thanks: 50
Thanked 147 Times in 90 Posts
Default

is it an issue if they do have classes together?

[quote=breanna05;7732454]
Quote:
Originally Posted by fbopnomore View Post
I hope someone who knows about that prison will answer your question. It is a privately owned prison


I'm frustrated because I don't know if anybody can answer this question for me I just want to know if they have classes together
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to jordan321 For This Useful Post:
Fridyrr.Likn (07-11-2018), patchouli (07-10-2018)
  #7  
Old 07-10-2018, 07:07 PM
breanna05 breanna05 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: TX
Posts: 21
Thanks: 9
Thanked 5 Times in 4 Posts
Default

Well my boyfriend seems to like to flirt behide my back hes done it. So thats why i have issues with it.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 07-10-2018, 07:35 PM
WeepingWillow's Avatar
WeepingWillow WeepingWillow is offline
Southern Fried Site Moderator on Leave

PTO Site Moderator 

 

Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,748
Thanks: 3,023
Thanked 3,032 Times in 1,099 Posts
Default

Ah. Well you can’t really stop them from having classes together, nor would you ever know if he was flirting...and you couldn’t stop that either if you did know. Knowledge doesn’t come with power when it comes to stuff like this, unfortunately.

But hopefully for your peace of mind (maybe) someone will come along who does have an answer for you!
__________________
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to WeepingWillow For This Useful Post:
Fridyrr.Likn (07-11-2018), patchouli (07-10-2018), Sarianna (07-11-2018), sidewalker (07-11-2018)
  #9  
Old 07-10-2018, 07:39 PM
Kimimi Kimimi is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: OR USA
Posts: 304
Thanks: 243
Thanked 446 Times in 193 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by breanna05 View Post
Well my boyfriend seems to like to flirt behide my back hes done it. So thats why i have issues with it.
He doesn’t need other female inmates. There are female guards, nurses, counselors, teachers, and interns in prison he can flirt with. He could start writing girls, talking to his cellies sister on the phone. Just because your mans locked up doesn’t mean he doesn’t have access to other women.
Reply With Quote
The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to Kimimi For This Useful Post:
AndyS (07-10-2018), Critter07 (07-11-2018), Dakini (07-11-2018), Fridyrr.Likn (07-11-2018), FuturMrsHouston (07-15-2018), missingdee (07-11-2018), patchouli (07-10-2018), Sarianna (07-11-2018), Sunnielg (07-10-2018), WeepingWillow (07-10-2018)
  #10  
Old 07-10-2018, 07:40 PM
jordan321's Avatar
jordan321 jordan321 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: Arizona
Posts: 209
Thanks: 50
Thanked 147 Times in 90 Posts
Default

Why be with him then if you can't trust him? IF they are, i don't see how you knowing is going to be a good thing. it'll just have you worried and even more stressed about the situation at hand.
Quote:
Originally Posted by breanna05 View Post
Well my boyfriend seems to like to flirt behide my back hes done it. So thats why i have issues with it.
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to jordan321 For This Useful Post:
Fridyrr.Likn (07-11-2018), FuturMrsHouston (07-15-2018), missingdee (07-11-2018), Sarianna (07-11-2018)
  #11  
Old 07-10-2018, 08:05 PM
onedayatatime13 onedayatatime13 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 1,730
Thanks: 332
Thanked 2,189 Times in 1,020 Posts
Default

You can always write to him and ask if he can't call.
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 07-10-2018, 08:34 PM
breanna05 breanna05 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: TX
Posts: 21
Thanks: 9
Thanked 5 Times in 4 Posts
Default

It really saddens me that i have to worry like this. And his friend told me that they separate the men and women. But i always will have trust issue with him because hes cheated on me before .it was a really long time ago but it will always stick with me . we have 2 kids together too. I shouldn't have to think this way. But i know how he is.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 07-10-2018, 08:36 PM
jordan321's Avatar
jordan321 jordan321 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: Arizona
Posts: 209
Thanks: 50
Thanked 147 Times in 90 Posts
Default

Youre choosing to think that way. If you leave you wouldnt. Having kids doesnt mean you have to stick around . Even if it was a long time ago, it seems like you are no where near over it
Quote:
Originally Posted by breanna05 View Post
It really saddens me that i have to worry like this. And his friend told me that they separate the men and women. But i always will have trust issue with him because hes cheated on me before .it was a really long time ago but it will always stick with me . we have 2 kids together too. I shouldn't have to think this way. But i know how he is.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to jordan321 For This Useful Post:
Sunnielg (07-10-2018)
  #14  
Old 07-10-2018, 08:39 PM
WeepingWillow's Avatar
WeepingWillow WeepingWillow is offline
Southern Fried Site Moderator on Leave

PTO Site Moderator 

 

Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,748
Thanks: 3,023
Thanked 3,032 Times in 1,099 Posts
Default Co-gender @ ISF Henderson: What does this mean exactly?

If he’s gonna cheat, he’s gonna cheat. There are women everywhere, including prison - even all men’s units. What exactly would you do if they do have classes together? Tell the prison that won’t work for you and have them put him in private tutoring?

Stressing over it won’t change that. You don’t HAVE to worry about it. The one thing you can control is how much mental energy you put into something you have zero control over.

What’s done in the dark will always come to light. If he’s disloyal to you, you’ll find out without worrying and obsessing and investigating.
__________________

Last edited by WeepingWillow; 07-10-2018 at 08:43 PM..
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to WeepingWillow For This Useful Post:
Fridyrr.Likn (07-11-2018), Kimimi (07-11-2018), Sarianna (07-11-2018), Sunnielg (07-10-2018)
  #15  
Old 07-10-2018, 08:40 PM
onedayatatime13 onedayatatime13 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 1,730
Thanks: 332
Thanked 2,189 Times in 1,020 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by breanna05 View Post
It really saddens me that i have to worry like this. And his friend told me that they separate the men and women. But i always will have trust issue with him because hes cheated on me before .it was a really long time ago but it will always stick with me . we have 2 kids together too. I shouldn't have to think this way. But i know how he is.
Now you have the time to evaluate the relationship, and he needs to prove to you that you can trust him. Whether he is in or out, you will have these thoughts and that is not a healthy way to live. Heal and let him show he is changing.

One thing is if they take classes together, which I doubt, it won't be because he is choosing it. You can't get mad at him because he will have no choice.
__________________


Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to onedayatatime13 For This Useful Post:
Fridyrr.Likn (07-11-2018), Sarianna (07-11-2018)
  #16  
Old 07-10-2018, 08:48 PM
breanna05 breanna05 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: TX
Posts: 21
Thanks: 9
Thanked 5 Times in 4 Posts
Default

Well i will have to talk to him about how i feel. Because i don't want to worry about it. And i know if he misses up in any kind of way there he'll have to do more time.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to breanna05 For This Useful Post:
WeepingWillow (07-10-2018)
  #17  
Old 07-10-2018, 10:23 PM
patchouli's Avatar
patchouli patchouli is offline
PTO Administrator

PTOQ Editorial Team Member Staff Superstar Two Time Winner Staff Superstar Winner 

Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 38,589
Thanks: 38,822
Thanked 31,665 Times in 14,609 Posts
Default

I've changed the title and moved the thread to H & B in Prison.....

OP, you're just gonna have to get your insecurities in check or this is going to be a really long & painful journey, as if it isn't already difficult enough. Either ride it out, or get off this roller coaster. For your own sanity. Good luck.
__________________




Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to patchouli For This Useful Post:
breanna05 (07-10-2018), Fridyrr.Likn (07-11-2018), Sarianna (07-11-2018), Sunnielg (07-11-2018)
  #18  
Old 07-10-2018, 10:30 PM
rockchalk1 rockchalk1 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Chicago
Posts: 670
Thanks: 14
Thanked 833 Times in 412 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by breanna05 View Post
Well i will have to talk to him about how i feel. Because i don't want to worry about it. And i know if he misses up in any kind of way there he'll have to do more time.
I hate to tell you but that is probably the least of your worries while he is in prison. I don't know how long he is gone, but these guys have all their freedoms and liberties taken away. You have to expect he is going to flirt, if you don't just expect and acknowledge it, you very well will drive yourself crazy. But flirting, doesn't mean he is cheating. In an all men's camp, can you imagine how it is when they are in the camps with no exposure to women at all, and they probably go gaga over any woman they do see?

That said, there are certainly worse things he can do in there. My husband has told me at his place, the guys use cell phones mainly to call places for phone sex. I think that is much worse than flirting.

Also, lastly, while he is gone, you have all the freedom to do what you want, and he knows it. Just remember that trust is a two way street. If you can't trust him over something as simple as flirting, or if flirting is going to drive you crazy, then you probably have bigger issues than that to deal with.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to rockchalk1 For This Useful Post:
breanna05 (07-10-2018), Sunnielg (07-11-2018)
  #19  
Old 07-10-2018, 10:44 PM
breanna05 breanna05 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: TX
Posts: 21
Thanks: 9
Thanked 5 Times in 4 Posts
Default

I did forget to mention that he thinks I'll cheat on him while he's in there which I would never do that to him
. But the thing is I told him I miss him and he's like I don't miss you and then he is like I'm kidding. that really screws with my head when he does that

Last edited by breanna05; 07-10-2018 at 10:50 PM..
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 07-10-2018, 10:54 PM
breanna05 breanna05 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: TX
Posts: 21
Thanks: 9
Thanked 5 Times in 4 Posts
Default

And also he told me i was boring to talk to. When i literally was having a full-on conversation with him on the phone about what's going on with his kids and other things. But also maybe he was saying these things because he was upset.
Reply With Quote
  #21  
Old 07-10-2018, 10:59 PM
rockchalk1 rockchalk1 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Chicago
Posts: 670
Thanks: 14
Thanked 833 Times in 412 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by breanna05 View Post
I did forget to mention that he thinks I'll cheat on him while he's in there which I would never do that to him
. But the thing is I told him I miss him and he's like I don't miss you and then he is like I'm kidding. that really screws with my head when he does that
Don't let him screw with your head. He made his bed he has to lay in it. And, don't say never either. I don't know how long he is in there for, but no one ever knows what they will do. I never thought I would be married to a felon. But here I am. Years ago, I would scoff at someone who stayed with a guy who committed a felony, and again here I am. So, don't say never, because you just don't know. Until you're in the situation, you don't know what you will do. And, until someone else is in our shoes, they can't judge us/you so don't let them do that either. I have learned so much in this process and that so much of the problem with the prison system is that people on the outside are not educated and/or just don't care. The stigma with the system is not good.

My friends and family thank god have been supportive, but who knows what some of them are really saying behind our backs. Time will tell when he is out in the next 7 months!

Hang in there and do not let his comments or past behavior define you or drive you crazy. If you do, it will! Find something that you can call your own, and keep yourself busy. Trust me, he is insecure about your relationship, and he will make digs about you cheating or meeting other men. You have to just brush it off. He is the one locked up, you are not. So just remember that. Flirting is the only thing he can do, and he may do it just to "get back" at you, or even lie and tell you he is doing it because he may think you are doing it all the time, even if you're not. My husband I have noticed has become clingy and needy. It's so not him. He's told me he wants to be around me all the time when he's home. That's fine, but I also like my space. So, it's like a catch-22. I'll be thrilled when he's home, and this experience is traumatic for both of us, but I've survived with him gone, and he can't just come back and not expect me to leave him or the house because he's worried about where I'm going or who I'm meeting.

Good luck!
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to rockchalk1 For This Useful Post:
breanna05 (07-10-2018), sidewalker (07-11-2018), Sunnielg (07-11-2018)
  #22  
Old 07-10-2018, 11:09 PM
breanna05 breanna05 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: TX
Posts: 21
Thanks: 9
Thanked 5 Times in 4 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by rockchalk1 View Post
Don't let him screw with your head. He made his bed he has to lay in it. And, don't say never either. I don't know how long he is in there for, but no one ever knows what they will do. I never thought I would be married to a felon. But here I am. Years ago, I would scoff at someone who stayed with a guy who committed a felony, and again here I am. So, don't say never, because you just don't know. Until you're in the situation, you don't know what you will do. And, until someone else is in our shoes, they can't judge us/you so don't let them do that either. I have learned so much in this process and that so much of the problem with the prison system is that people on the outside are not educated and/or just don't care. The stigma with the system is not good.

My friends and family thank god have been supportive, but who knows what some of them are really saying behind our backs. Time will tell when he is out in the next 7 months!

Hang in there and do not let his comments or past behavior define you or drive you crazy. If you do, it will! Find something that you can call your own, and keep yourself busy. Trust me, he is insecure about your relationship, and he will make digs about you cheating or meeting other men. You have to just brush it off. He is the one locked up, you are not. So just remember that. Flirting is the only thing he can do, and he may do it just to "get back" at you, or even lie and tell you he is doing it because he may think you are doing it all the time, even if you're not. My husband I have noticed has become clingy and needy. It's so not him. He's told me he wants to be around me all the time when he's home. That's fine, but I also like my space. So, it's like a catch-22. I'll be thrilled when he's home, and this experience is traumatic for both of us, but I've survived with him gone, and he can't just come back and not expect me to leave him or the house because he's worried about where I'm going or who I'm meeting.

Good luck!
You are right. And hes in isf for 3 months. Hes been in there for a week. But what you said made me feel better. I deal with anxiety in a mood disorder. And it's really hard not to feel how I feel about the situation the anxiety makes it so much worse. And I do not expect anyone to feel sorry for me because I'm not the only one that's in this situation because on this form theres othes lady's husbands or boyfriends in jail to
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to breanna05 For This Useful Post:
eyeball (07-11-2018)
  #23  
Old 07-10-2018, 11:23 PM
AndyS's Avatar
AndyS AndyS is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Texas US
Posts: 1,353
Thanks: 1,710
Thanked 2,708 Times in 943 Posts
Default

How do you keep him “in line” when he’s out? Is he never away from you? Even if there were coed classes what do you think you can do about it? I’d be more concerned that he said you were boring to talk to. I’d reevaluate if I were you.
__________________
A lion doesn't concern himself with the opinions of a sheep.

“Absorb what is useful, Discard what is not, Add what is uniquely your own”
Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to AndyS For This Useful Post:
Fridyrr.Likn (07-11-2018), FuturMrsHouston (07-15-2018), Sarianna (07-11-2018), sidewalker (07-11-2018), Sunnielg (07-11-2018)
  #24  
Old 07-10-2018, 11:25 PM
WeepingWillow's Avatar
WeepingWillow WeepingWillow is offline
Southern Fried Site Moderator on Leave

PTO Site Moderator 

 

Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,748
Thanks: 3,023
Thanked 3,032 Times in 1,099 Posts
Default

He sounds....not very nice.

I think I’d worry less about imaginary flirting and more about the rude ways he treats and talks to you. Those are real and not okay.
__________________
Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to WeepingWillow For This Useful Post:
Dakini (07-11-2018), Fridyrr.Likn (07-11-2018), FuturMrsHouston (07-15-2018), Ms Sunny (07-11-2018), Sarianna (07-11-2018), Sunnielg (07-11-2018)
  #25  
Old 07-10-2018, 11:32 PM
breanna05 breanna05 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: TX
Posts: 21
Thanks: 9
Thanked 5 Times in 4 Posts
Default

I was told that they are separated which means they shouldn't have any classes together. Yes the way he talks to me is unacceptable and I'll let him know it when I talk to him again or when I go visit him because it will be better to talk with him about it face to face. but i just got to figure out when his visitation will become available I don't understand why it's not available yet it's been a week since he's been in there. And no he was not always with me . he would go hang out with his only friend he had that lived really close to us. His friend is male by the way. They aren't friends anymore because he choose to stop talking to him. But yes i let him him have his space instead of being really clingy because I know that would drive him crazy.

Last edited by breanna05; 07-10-2018 at 11:56 PM..
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Poll: My Gender, My Pals Gender JJsPenPal Prison Inmate Pen-Pal Talk 22 07-31-2016 06:37 AM
Trust issues I thought we had dealt with, found out he still has them! angel69_80 Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison 11 12-07-2010 04:57 PM
I found a website with lots of resources for inmates (re: legal issues and such) barky586 South Carolina General Prison Talk, Introductions and Chit Chat 1 08-28-2008 12:51 PM
Inmate who had health issues found dead at O.C. Jail Morris1 California Prison & Criminal Justice News & Events + 3 Strikes 0 02-24-2008 12:00 PM
Found a great site about legal issues!! rosiensmokee Prison & Criminal Legal Help! 3 11-06-2004 12:13 AM


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 12:55 AM.
Copyright © 2001- 2017 Prison Talk Online
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Website Design & Custom vBulletin Skins by: Relivo Media
Message Board Statistics