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  #176  
Old 07-06-2019, 12:28 PM
karoliinah karoliinah is offline
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My man sent me message last night and told he was not feeling well... Today got new message he was saying he is still not feeling well. I am sick of worried now.
He told his back and tummy hurts. Kidneys?! He had been vomiting too...
I haven’t heard anything since 10am....
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  #177  
Old 07-06-2019, 12:36 PM
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My man sent me message last night and told he was not feeling well... Today got new message he was saying he is still not feeling well. I am sick of worried now.
He told his back and tummy hurts. Kidneys?! He had been vomiting too...
I haven’t heard anything since 10am....
I'm so sorry! It's scary when we can't do anything to help them. Hopefully he put in a request to see medical and is being cared for.
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  #178  
Old 07-06-2019, 12:51 PM
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He needs to put in a request to see a doctor , I hope he gets medical care soon.
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  #179  
Old 07-06-2019, 01:08 PM
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Awww so sorry. Hope he feels better soon and gets to medical quickly
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  #180  
Old 09-20-2019, 08:24 PM
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Did not want to start a new thread. . .

Feeling so over sensitive. I met with a friend for coffee and all she could do was banter on about her [ dating ] anniversary this weekend. So very happy that people find love, but it feels so lonely now.

I cannot really expect people to change their conversation topics around me cause that is selfish. But my gosh, it was as if some one stabbed me in the heart and twisted the blade. So happy, so giddy, freely talking about it w me . . .

So lonely.
So sad.
So hopeless.
So empty.
So wondering when this will end.
So wondering where this will end.

This love is like catching flies in the dark : I know that it’s there, but I can’t grasp it or feel it. Meanwhile, others are giddy over days . . and I find myself counting them. Put on a happy face for others when inside I feel empty & lost.
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  #181  
Old 09-20-2019, 10:05 PM
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Did not want to start a new thread. . .

Feeling so over sensitive. I met with a friend for coffee and all she could do was banter on about her [ dating ] anniversary this weekend. So very happy that people find love, but it feels so lonely now.

I cannot really expect people to change their conversation topics around me cause that is selfish. But my gosh, it was as if some one stabbed me in the heart and twisted the blade. So happy, so giddy, freely talking about it w me . . .

So lonely.
So sad.
So hopeless.
So empty.
So wondering when this will end.
So wondering where this will end.

This love is like catching flies in the dark : I know that it’s there, but I can’t grasp it or feel it. Meanwhile, others are giddy over days . . and I find myself counting them. Put on a happy face for others when inside I feel empty & lost.
This too shall pass. Just remember it’s temporary. I have these days too ((hugs))
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  #182  
Old 09-20-2019, 10:14 PM
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Originally Posted by Ne Plach’ View Post
Did not want to start a new thread. . .

Feeling so over sensitive. I met with a friend for coffee and all she could do was banter on about her [ dating ] anniversary this weekend. So very happy that people find love, but it feels so lonely now.

I cannot really expect people to change their conversation topics around me cause that is selfish. But my gosh, it was as if some one stabbed me in the heart and twisted the blade. So happy, so giddy, freely talking about it w me . . .

So lonely.
So sad.
So hopeless.
So empty.
So wondering when this will end.
So wondering where this will end.

This love is like catching flies in the dark : I know that it’s there, but I can’t grasp it or feel it. Meanwhile, others are giddy over days . . and I find myself counting them. Put on a happy face for others when inside I feel empty & lost.
We'll all get through it. ... Remember too when these same people are arguing with their husbands or complaining, while it's not rational, they think you're the lucky one who gets to do what you want, when you want and how you want without having to "put up" with the antics of someone else. I'd give it up in a minute, but they cannot see that....
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  #183  
Old 10-13-2019, 07:20 AM
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Here we go : another holiday long weekend. [Thanksgiving.]

It is not the first that he’s been away, but with each passing one, it seems like the ones we did have are so distant. Thanksgiving does not mean much to him cause he wasn’t raised with it, and so technically, it should not mean much for me either. Must be cause I tried to assimilate more . . .

But, you know, there are fotos of lovey - dovey couples out picking apples, choosing the perfect pumpkin, making memories this weekend. . . yes, sure, we will have time for that too, but when you feel time is fickle / borrowed, you never really know.

I am not the only one. So many other families missing a loved one this time of year, and not only to incarceration.

Gave myself some time to cry and question why things have to be the way they are. Then, trying to make the most of the day dropping off meals for shut - in senior citizens & little chats. Feeling quite awful today . . have to remind myself why I love this man and not some normal bloke.
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  #184  
Old 10-13-2019, 08:44 AM
onedayatatime13 onedayatatime13 is offline
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Here we go : another holiday long weekend. [Thanksgiving.]

It is not the first that he’s been away, but with each passing one, it seems like the ones we did have are so distant. Thanksgiving does not mean much to him cause he wasn’t raised with it, and so technically, it should not mean much for me either. Must be cause I tried to assimilate more . . .

But, you know, there are fotos of lovey - dovey couples out picking apples, choosing the perfect pumpkin, making memories this weekend. . . yes, sure, we will have time for that too, but when you feel time is fickle / borrowed, you never really know.

I am not the only one. So many other families missing a loved one this time of year, and not only to incarceration.

Gave myself some time to cry and question why things have to be the way they are. Then, trying to make the most of the day dropping off meals for shut - in senior citizens & little chats. Feeling quite awful today . . have to remind myself why I love this man and not some normal bloke.
We have been feeling down too. If he made the Shock program, he would have been home next month. We are still in limbo with work release. My 40th cam and went. He and his family tried to make it nice, but still fell flat because I was not into it. Now the holidays are coming and a shitty winter.

He is reading more. I just sent him a few more books to read, so we can talk about them. Im going to read one he prefers on Frank Sinatra. Cant be classics all the time. Je downloaded a Greek epic poem. Je is struggling with it, but still working through it. He didnt know about the Greek gods, which is my forte so I sent him a book to help with those references.

I love him and I know my life is with him. I dont question that, but some months are harder than others. Strongly desire normalcy and just to rest my head on his chest.

If social.media and seeing pics bothers you, stay off for a while. In the beginning I used to get twinges of jealousy, but now I'm happy for people. Also, some post pictures and makes life seem wonderful, but the reality is not so. Keep that in mind.
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  #185  
Old 10-13-2019, 10:01 AM
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What's will all the negativity and depression? Life is good and see it as a challenge and as a chance to do what YOU want!! We all love our incarcerated men & women and there's nothing more I wish for than to have him here with me, watching stupid movies and going grocery shopping with me. But it ain't so - and the good thing is: I have plenty of time for myself.
You've got to start seeing from a more positive point of view. And it's all temporary. It sucks big time and I do have my moments but there's nothing I can do about it. I don't even whine to my boyfriend (I only tell him when I'm pissed at him ).
I AM understanding even if my words are more "blunt" but moping does not help you or anyone else. Sometimes I just go inside my favorite church and pray, bitch at God why things are the way they are and I feel already better
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  #186  
Old 10-13-2019, 10:17 AM
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What's will all the negativity and depression? Life is good and see it as a challenge and as a chance to do what YOU want!! We all love our incarcerated men & women and there's nothing more I wish for than to have him here with me, watching stupid movies and going grocery shopping with me. But it ain't so - and the good thing is: I have plenty of time for myself.
You've got to start seeing from a more positive point of view. And it's all temporary. It sucks big time and I do have my moments but there's nothing I can do about it. I don't even whine to my boyfriend (I only tell him when I'm pissed at him ).
I AM understanding even if my words are more "blunt" but moping does not help you or anyone else. Sometimes I just go inside my favorite church and pray, bitch at God why things are the way they are and I feel already better
Yeah... mine knows I'm pissed at him right now too lol. It's our first "argument" since he's been inside. I think he's finally figured out to give me time to cool off instead of his version of trying to make it "better" since every time he does he makes it worse lol
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  #187  
Old 10-13-2019, 10:18 AM
AnieLove56 AnieLove56 is offline
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This will be the first year since I've been with my guy where we aren't gonna be celebrating together. I mean, let's be honest, he's in prison. He can't exactly get out for holidays. But he's only got 19 months left. Maybe less. But this year, I'm gonna send him some stuff to make the holidays special. Like I can be there to celebrate with him. He shouldn't feel so alone there and I won't let him feel like that.

Photos. Letters. Games. Poems. Song lyrics. Drawings.

Make the most out of the situation and make it amazing.
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  #188  
Old 10-13-2019, 01:16 PM
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Originally Posted by MizzyMuffling View Post
What's will all the negativity and depression? Life is good and see it as a challenge and as a chance to do what YOU want!! We all love our incarcerated men & women and there's nothing more I wish for than to have him here with me, watching stupid movies and going grocery shopping with me. But it ain't so - and the good thing is: I have plenty of time for myself.
You've got to start seeing from a more positive point of view. And it's all temporary. It sucks big time and I do have my moments but there's nothing I can do about it. I don't even whine to my boyfriend (I only tell him when I'm pissed at him ).
I AM understanding even if my words are more "blunt" but moping does not help you or anyone else. Sometimes I just go inside my favorite church and pray, bitch at God why things are the way they are and I feel already better
Probably meant @ me cause I brought the negativity.

I don’t understand how expressing sadness over missing an incarcerated spouse is viewed as negativity / depression or not doing what one wants to do.

Having such moments does not mean that one wallows in them all the time. Obviously I am not going to come on here to talk about my jobs, lymphoma, new purchases, gymnastics or social life cause they aren’t related to incarceration or missing a loved one.

As I’ve often said, my husband made his bed, now he has to lie in it. But, I do miss the man and in our tight knit ethnic families, it is an obvious hole. Clothes in the closet, his car that will inevitably be sold, personal items, gifts he gave me. . .

This is not a comparison between MBI or MWI but a difference in perspective. In most cases, MWI lived holidays independent of their loved one or in a penal setting. For those of us that celebrated together, certain things, there are actual memories that come into the mind. It not to say one has it tougher than the other, cause we are all in the same boat, but rather a different experience that days bring. It is more obvious cause there is an empty chair that a person filled once and not simply „ pissed off ” that some one is not there to do some thing based on an abstract thought.

As you are a churchgoer, you will be familiar with 1 Corinthians 7:4 and its interpretation that those of us devout practitioners take seriously. ∴ it is not so easy on special days or any day.

Life is only „ good ” if you have health and agency. You must obviously have both. I currently have a lymphoproliferative disorder so knock one. Having an incarcerated spouse is knock two. Yet, life goes on, not good . . . but it goes on & ppl should have the opportunity to share such thoughts. I am stock full of challenges @ at the moment that putting the frown upside down is far down the list.

Not even sure њhy I post here any more. . any way have a super evening.
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  #189  
Old 10-13-2019, 01:27 PM
onedayatatime13 onedayatatime13 is offline
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Originally Posted by MizzyMuffling View Post
What's will all the negativity and depression? Life is good and see it as a challenge and as a chance to do what YOU want!! We all love our incarcerated men & women and there's nothing more I wish for than to have him here with me, watching stupid movies and going grocery shopping with me. But it ain't so - and the good thing is: I have plenty of time for myself.
You've got to start seeing from a more positive point of view. And it's all temporary. It sucks big time and I do have my moments but there's nothing I can do about it. I don't even whine to my boyfriend (I only tell him when I'm pissed at him ).
I AM understanding even if my words are more "blunt" but moping does not help you or anyone else. Sometimes I just go inside my favorite church and pray, bitch at God why things are the way they are and I feel already better
Generally, I believe in this perspective, but reality is not always so simple. Having major medical issues is hard so Ne'plach is going through. Not one, but 2 major ones in recent years.

Myself: Watching others go through and support them through major medical issues is hard. Not one, but many on both sides. Plus,just got over my own.

At the end of the day, you come here to vent. To check in. Not all of it is going to be pleasant. Hence, why is this place is about support. Your words are not blunt,but insensitive.

When you word is spinning out of control, thinking of sharing a holiday with your loved one is normal. Compounded trauma: transplant, husband going to jail and cancer is not something you get over. It's a process.
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  #190  
Old 10-13-2019, 05:38 PM
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Just a thought..it will be 2020 in 2 1/2 months. Jesus!
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Old 10-16-2019, 03:27 PM
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Originally Posted by karoliinah View Post
My man sent me message last night and told he was not feeling well... Today got new message he was saying he is still not feeling well. I am sick of worried now.
He told his back and tummy hurts. Kidneys?! He had been vomiting too...
I haven’t heard anything since 10am....
I am so sorry to hear! Any news? I hope everything is okay!
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