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When the Relationship is Over... This forum is about discussing your thoughts, feelings and issues now that you and your incarcerated (or formerly incarcerated) loved one are no longer together. (This forum is NOT for bashing - please read the rules before posting.)

View Poll Results: When did the relationship begin.
Met while incarcerated 110 38.06%
Met before incarceration. 179 61.94%
Voters: 289. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old 07-04-2007, 11:00 PM
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Default When it's over.

I am just curious as to how many of the relationships that have ended are MWI. Mine ended a little over 2 month's ago and I know of 2 more personally(not PTO related)that were MWI that did not make it.
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  #2  
Old 07-05-2007, 01:29 AM
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Well Just wanted to say that my heart goes out to you all ... I am not here to tell my story because my relationship is still going strong but wanted to say that you are all in my thoughts prayers and heart ... Stay Strong ...
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Old 07-05-2007, 02:45 PM
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After a year long MWI relationship, it has ended. It was over officially two months ago. Some serious soul searching has me believing this was certainly for the best- at least for me.
There were some rough days, but those are far and few between now.
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  #4  
Old 07-05-2007, 03:28 PM
Ruddsgrl1 Ruddsgrl1 is offline
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Unhappy MBW(met before incarceration)

I met my ex before he got incarcerated at an old job and we were together awhile before he got locked up. But he is a selfish bastard and will never think of anyone but himself in any situation.
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  #5  
Old 07-05-2007, 11:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Oceansdrm
Well Just wanted to say that my heart goes out to you all ... I am not here to tell my story because my relationship is still going strong but wanted to say that you are all in my thoughts prayers and heart ... Stay Strong ...
Thank you very much. It was definately not an easy thing to deal with but break-ups never are. One day at a time we will all get past it.
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  #6  
Old 07-05-2007, 11:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mrs.sunflower
After a year long MWI relationship, it has ended. It was over officially two months ago. Some serious soul searching has me believing this was certainly for the best- at least for me.
There were some rough days, but those are far and few between now.
Your story sounds oh so familiar. First off I would like to say I am sorry for what you have been through. Ray and I were 15 days shy of our 1 year anniversary of being together when he decided it was too much and ended it. We have been split now since April 27th. I too believe that this is for the best even after all the hurt and tears. I have always lived by the saying:"And this too shall pass" I truely believe it. Again I am sorry you have been through this.Hugs to you.
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  #7  
Old 07-05-2007, 11:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruddsgrl1
I met my ex before he got incarcerated at an old job and we were together awhile before he got locked up. But he is a selfish bastard and will never think of anyone but himself in any situation.
Thanks for taking the time to reply. Im sorry he has hurt you like this but I have learned that alot of men are the same way. They don't think of anyone but themselves. I think that was a factor that played in my relationship ending. He didn't want to put forth the small effort it takes for a man to maintain a relationship from prison. Hell, if he ain't gonna do it while in prison then he surely would not on the streets. Some things are for the best and you deserve better than what he was doing. Hugs to you.
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  #8  
Old 07-08-2007, 12:13 PM
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We were together a year before he got locked up. What an ass!
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  #9  
Old 07-08-2007, 08:24 PM
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My man and I would have been together 3 years this month! I have not talked to him in 8 days now, he cant deal with him being in prison for 16 months now and I am "free" to do whatever or whoever I want. He has broke my heart!!!
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  #10  
Old 07-22-2007, 01:23 AM
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I'm sorry your going through this girl.I know it sucks!

We were together off and on about 14 years before he got locked up,it ended 3 mo. after he came home
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  #11  
Old 07-23-2007, 01:44 PM
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Met my guy over a year before he went in, but he had been charged. I have stayed with him for two additional years and now that he is out - it seems to be ending. It has gotten so out of hand...I am still in the "so hurt" phase. I just can't believe that he is pushing me away.
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  #12  
Old 08-06-2007, 01:39 PM
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I met my husband before he got sent back on a parole violation. I had no idea about any of his past jail time or even that he was in jail because he didn't tell me of course. When he got put in of course he had to tell me all about it, and I chose not to walk away from him. I married him while he was in prison and we were strong up until the last three months before he was set to be released when I found out the real truth about why he was in there. I found out on my own and I really to this day don't know if he was planning on telling me.....but I don't know why he would think I wouldn't find out. Anyway, this is long so I won't go on and on.

Bottom line is I feel that he just needed someone to be there for him while he was in. I still stayed with him after finding out about his lie, but now he is "confused" about what he wants. I feel upset because if he was so confused he shouldn't have kept me waiting for over two years with empty promises about our future!

Anyway, we are totally drifting apart and I can see the end coming upon us real soon.
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  #13  
Old 08-09-2007, 03:35 PM
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jade when you say out of hand do you mean hes just went back to an old life style that he promised would be different when he got out?
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  #14  
Old 08-09-2007, 10:33 PM
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Lost,

I just feel my feelings and emotions have gotten out of hand at the moment. I am so out of control and I need to get a grip on everything. I need to focus on me, and not make my total existence about him and his getting out and starting our life together. By the way, our "future" life together was just a fantasy. I guess I knew that all along, but I always hoped.

p.s.

everything was different when he "got out"
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  #15  
Old 08-18-2007, 05:54 PM
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Jade, i love your honesty..."it was fantasy", so was my MWI, and i went with it for six years! i'm okay with him now, cuz i know i was dealing with a sociopath, he's mentally ill,and thats not his fault! It's not. but you gotta be careful when writing these guys who are already locked up. i got a member here, who, bless her heart watches my back! i just started with a new pen pal, and she pointed out things that went right over my head! be nice, be you, but Be Careful!
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  #16  
Old 08-19-2007, 08:24 AM
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Wendi,

Thanks for the advice. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. I know what I have to do, and that is leave him flat out because there's no use of it working out, but yet, here I am. Some days he acts like I am this heavy burden that he has to deal with, while there are other days that he seems to be his old self and is as sweet as he used to be.

I just keep waiting for by bubble to burst and that also drives me as crazy as when he's trying to push me away.........I guess I'll enjoy the sweet guy for awhile ........but honestly, I know how it's going to end.
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Old 08-19-2007, 09:32 AM
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Jade just stay commited to reality,stay self honest, and the answers will come...and you may not like the answers, but at least you know the truth. you know i kept looking the other way, not dealing withthe reality..i was gonna be loved come hell or high water! no matter what! and it all ended in this sad sort of fizzled frazzled mess of reality. but i came thru it..im not sure what ilearned except that when it comes to me, im not well by any means..im not perfect, i have all kinds of disorders..im bi-polar, i have learned helplessness, we always have to look at what part of us played the part in all of this. when it comes down to the wire, it'begins with us and it ends with us, it's not about the other person. hold on babe,it's gonna be ok!
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  #18  
Old 08-25-2007, 08:14 AM
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Thanks Wendi,

I am still hangin on, but barely. It's been two months since we've seen each other and within these two months I've been totally frustrated. There were a couple of days in between where it felt like "us" again, but I think I'm trying to hang on and hope for some kind of miracle. I smiled when you said "I was gonna be loved come hell or high water!"

I guess that's how I feel. It's not fair! I think it's about time I deserve to be loved like that.....lol I know how much I can love someone and what I can offer in a relationship, so why can't they see it. I say they, I'm talking about my stupid ex husband and my now idiot husband soon to be ex.....lol

What a mess!

Anyway, today is going to be a great day.......i'm healthy, my kids are healthy and I have plenty of work, so I can't complain about that.
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Old 10-04-2007, 02:32 PM
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I met my x while he was incarcerated. Our relationship ended because he had a ad on a pen pal website and of course I found it. We were together for 7 years. Looking back, I am glad its over. He was very selfish, disrespectful, and mean, plus my daughter did not want me to marry him. I am now with my daughter's father, the love of my life, and I am very happy! Sorry to hear about everybody's failed relationships-CalSunshine-
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  #20  
Old 10-04-2007, 02:35 PM
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Hey everyone,
I really think you need to figure your life out and what you need out of any relationship inside or out, I have had the same best friend for 14 yrs MWI and we have had our ups and downs but as we both agree our bond will never die and as long as you are honest with each other then your love weather it is friends, friends with benefits or the love of your life you can make it work. Just dont' let your heart be blind and try to get what you need out of someone behind bars because if you are not up for the ride then it will die and you want to build bridges not burn them...I love PTO and I think that sometimes people/us woman think with our hearts and not our minds. It should always be about what we need/want because if we are not ok then we can't hold anyone down...Keep your head up ladies....Love in Boston
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Old 10-25-2007, 02:58 AM
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Default ~amen girl

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruddsgrl1
I met my ex before he got incarcerated at an old job and we were together awhile before he got locked up. But he is a selfish bastard and will never think of anyone but himself in any situation.
Do they ever think of anyone but themselves and expect us too wait...I was doing good until recently I found out he was with another girl the weekend before he got locked up...He is lucky he's in there cause I would really hurt him about now... i just wrote him a letter telling him that i know and it's bothering me that i know it takes likes 2 weeks for him to receive my letter i want his day to be ruined now...
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  #22  
Old 11-01-2007, 12:25 AM
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Me And Antonio Were Together A Month Shy Of 3 Years Mwi, But It Was Strange How We Met And Even Crazier How We Ended We Been Apart For 2 Months Now And I Feel Free.
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  #23  
Old 11-18-2007, 07:45 PM
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we were together as a "couple" for 11 months... until i found out that i was only 1 in his harem..........
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Old 11-20-2007, 03:45 PM
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i knew my ex before he went to the inside, however we were not a couple until a few years before his release. so we got together while he was locked up and married while he was in prison, divorced only 15 months after he came home.
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  #25  
Old 11-20-2007, 04:25 PM
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i got an an ex trying to leave my real man in prison its been a month i feel better this freeworld man stressed me more than my beyond the walls man i was making a big mistake
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