Welcome to the Prison Talk Online Community! Take a Minute and Sign Up Today!






Go Back   Prison Talk > FOR FAMILY & FRIENDS > When the Relationship is Over...
Register Entertainment FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

When the Relationship is Over... This forum is about discussing your thoughts, feelings and issues now that you and your incarcerated (or formerly incarcerated) loved one are no longer together. (This forum is NOT for bashing - please read the rules before posting.)

View Poll Results: When did the relationship begin.
Met while incarcerated 110 38.06%
Met before incarceration. 179 61.94%
Voters: 289. You may not vote on this poll

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #51  
Old 04-07-2010, 12:08 PM
hartshapekisses's Avatar
hartshapekisses hartshapekisses is offline
nomoredrama666
 

Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: florida
Posts: 147
Thanks: 0
Thanked 38 Times in 34 Posts
Default

me and lucky were almost gonna hit the 2 year anniversary in august. He was recently released and i havent had a word since he got released. His last letter to me was in january and i thought that everything was fine he wrote on the envelope that he loved and missed me and when he got to his place where he maxxed out at havent heard from him since. Its going on april-april 26th he will be home just only 2 months. the thing is that if you knew you were going to do this to me all the time why waste your time talking to me sending me pictures of you telling me how much you look forward of spending the rest of your life with me and you want babies with me but then you just run off? i found where he's at and of course he's home with his lovely mommy. I have his address and everything but im not going to waste my time writing him a letter-this is the 2nd and the last time he'll ever hurt me again.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to hartshapekisses For This Useful Post:
a.rare.love (02-19-2017), julzb (09-10-2016)
Sponsored Links
  #52  
Old 04-09-2010, 03:14 PM
Kimi06's Avatar
Kimi06 Kimi06 is offline
Rice2good2be=4gotten
 

Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: MS/PA/FL
Posts: 1,389
Thanks: 2,023
Thanked 578 Times in 366 Posts
Default

Wow some of these posts are like nightmares. I am truly glad that
my friend and I are only friends because in my opinion having a
brother serving LWOP I just cant even see me being with a person
fresh from prison and having to deal with everything you will have
to deal with it's not for me and alot of people are truly
unstable once they have left prison life. (unstable mentally)I think
a person serving especially long periods of time needs time to heal
before diving into a relationship again it's just my opinion and thats
because I have seen both sides of it. I have a friend right now
doing so well because he is not in a relationship he can just
do him and after 14yrs of prison I truly understand his logic
and why he enjoys being single. So big ups to him because
he chose not to drag any women thru the mud.
For all of you that have been hurt learn from it and move on.
That is what makes you stronger.

KImi06
__________________
LOVE FAITH AND PEACE ALWAYS.


KIMI06
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Kimi06 For This Useful Post:
a.rare.love (02-19-2017)
  #53  
Old 04-09-2010, 03:34 PM
hartshapekisses's Avatar
hartshapekisses hartshapekisses is offline
nomoredrama666
 

Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: florida
Posts: 147
Thanks: 0
Thanked 38 Times in 34 Posts
Default

yeah i am moving on and its killing me but ive been listening to the girls on here and right now i just put a hold on a book that im going to read whenever it comes in cause i really do need healing and some closure for myself cause i know i will never get it from him anyways. Since i stopped drinking (made a promise for my mom)that is the only way i'll be able to heal myself and to tell myself that its okay and I can move on.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to hartshapekisses For This Useful Post:
Kimi06 (11-08-2010)
  #54  
Old 08-17-2016, 07:19 AM
Firebrand's Avatar
Firebrand Firebrand is offline
Moderator On Leave

PTO Moderator 

 

Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 2,071
Thanks: 1,912
Thanked 4,706 Times in 1,187 Posts
Default

The best gal I ever had in my life was an MWI and I lost her the same way that hatshapekisses has described her situation. Not entirely, but to large degree the same. I got out in'06 after a 9 year stay here in Texas and came home to Dallas at my Mom's place. Maria and I did o.k.for 2 months and then I broke up with her. 15 months later I would go back to prison again for the 3rd time, stay 2 years and 7 months, lose my mother to cancer and.......It's never been the same since. I have a picture of Maria, Mom myself while I was at the Michael unit in Tennessee Colony in the photo section of my profile here on PTO. Maria is a very rare individual. Giving, humble, hard working, devoted mother and was devoted to me. And I lost her the same way I've lost everything else. Guys like me that get out and mess up a good thing have a unforeseen and often unrecognizable mental condition; it's called the "Dr. Jekyll/Mr.Jackass Disorder" and it's rather self explanatory. Still, I can say much about it and unfortunately at times it's painfully obvious I still have it.
I have a special place in my heart for you gals that are MWIs and most often it's Maria I think of when I say that. You're the living angels that walk the earth.
Why do we act the way we do when get out of prison? Why do we take a good thing and then let it fall a part when it comes to you? It's always one of two reasons and it always will be: we looking for a bit of attention while in prison in the attempt to keep ourselves amused with no real intention of becoming closer to you when we out OR we're overwhelmed when we actually get out and realize that freedom is not free, it takes work, relationships take work, the transition from incarceration to freedom takes work, regaining the trust and credibility we lost among loved ones and friends takes work. All too often without knowing it we attempt or expect all that to happen in about 15 minutes when we come home. But....those rose colored glasses come off pretty soon once you get out and we're not skipping down a yellow brick road after all, are we? When my rose colored glasses came off in '06 I made one mistake in the face of fear, I ran away from Maria instead of running to her. And I can't really say why, exactly. I was afraid of everything it seemed like; my mother, myself, my personal demons of addiction/euphoria, freedom, the world and most of all the illusion that I was supposed to be a real man when I out and yet I didn't feel like one. I felt real small inside and I couldn't get anything done fast enough, anything. It's like I was trying to run a foot race in quicksand. Emotionally I absolutely exhausted all the time and the only time I wasn't was when I'd go hide somewhere alone and get high. It was the only relief I'd turn to and in the end it'd be the one that would send me right back to prison for the 3rd time.
I meant well in the beginning, but I failed to realize that there is place for patience, courage and most of all coming to you instead of running from you when fear and anxiety crop up that are essential. They're not optional, they're essential.
Yes...It's sad, but make no mistake in knowing that the greatest loss is when he lost you, not when you lost him. And he'll see that one of day,too. Women like you are very rare and they don't grow on trees. I'm not your loved one who got out and is acting like a horse's ass, but I have been in the past. To all of you I wish to say that I'm very sorry because you deserve better.
__________________
We're All In This Together
Reply With Quote
The Following 15 Users Say Thank You to Firebrand For This Useful Post:
a.rare.love (02-19-2017), Anjewel (11-10-2016), coachy1 (10-02-2016), Critter07 (08-19-2016), earthmother (08-21-2016), Glitter1986 (10-19-2016), Grolarbear (09-10-2016), HIS Ladybug (Yesterday), isis9700 (08-19-2016), Martha0810 (09-10-2016), maytayah (10-19-2016), nicross (08-19-2016), nimuay (11-04-2016), Sarianna (09-13-2016), sharalynn0125 (02-11-2017)
  #55  
Old 09-10-2016, 03:37 PM
BobbyCoco BobbyCoco is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Ca Usa
Posts: 95
Thanks: 0
Thanked 46 Times in 20 Posts
Default

Im trying so hard to forget about my ex, Im over it already, im tired of crying about him, thinking about him, wondering if he misses me,thinking of me. Were together for 3yrs its been 3months since we broke up and i haven't heard from him. I would of thought at least a letter or phone call by now jus to see how im doing if im ok. But no nothing from him. Our 3yrs together didnt mean shit to him. When we broke up we left on good terms. I told him i would always be here for him im jus a phone call away and write me if he wants. I gave him my word and that means something. I jus cant believe he never gave a fuck about me. Hes showing me that i never meant shit to him. My heart is so broken. I have a lot of hate in my heart. I dont like this feeling at all. Im over it dont want to feel like this anymore. I dont know what to do about it! Its killing me!
__________________
Angelo'sGirl
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to BobbyCoco For This Useful Post:
a.rare.love (02-19-2017), julzb (09-10-2016), maytayah (09-10-2016), PrincessWarrior1 (09-10-2016)
  #56  
Old 09-10-2016, 05:00 PM
maytayah's Avatar
maytayah maytayah is offline
Lil British Moderator

Staff Superstar Winner PTO Site Moderator 

 

Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: England Uk
Posts: 3,540
Thanks: 3,121
Thanked 4,405 Times in 2,027 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BobbyCoco View Post
Im trying so hard to forget about my ex, Im over it already, im tired of crying about him, thinking about him, wondering if he misses me,thinking of me. Were together for 3yrs its been 3months since we broke up and i haven't heard from him. I would of thought at least a letter or phone call by now jus to see how im doing if im ok. But no nothing from him. Our 3yrs together didnt mean shit to him. When we broke up we left on good terms. I told him i would always be here for him im jus a phone call away and write me if he wants. I gave him my word and that means something. I jus cant believe he never gave a fuck about me. Hes showing me that i never meant shit to him. My heart is so broken. I have a lot of hate in my heart. I dont like this feeling at all. Im over it dont want to feel like this anymore. I dont know what to do about it! Its killing me!
Hi there and I am sorry to hear you are going through this. You 3 months is still early days and its understandable that you are having strong feelings and still grieving for your lost relationship. I know it must be hard that he hasnt contacted you however that is also a positive thing as hearing from him may set you back Its a cliche but you time does heal and it will get better. Just make you look after yourself anddothings you enjoy doing and get suport from your family and friends.
__________________
"Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again." Nelson Mandela.

Who cares what they say about us? Because when I am with you I am standing with an army
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to maytayah For This Useful Post:
Glitter1986 (10-19-2016), PrincessWarrior1 (09-10-2016), Sarianna (09-13-2016), TawnyStar (09-14-2016)
  #57  
Old 09-21-2016, 12:52 PM
ladyduke ladyduke is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: california
Posts: 788
Thanks: 0
Thanked 10 Times in 4 Posts
Default

How do I make a 15yr ended relationship story short? Lifer, friends, lovers, married, divorced, hurt, bitter, apologies, forgiveness, sad, mad, cry, happy, lovers, in love, try this again I can do better, only one of us on board, he found new love, I'm still in love, he claims to still be I need love, time to cut cord I have to he we won't, game play,disrespect, hurt, sad, broken, depressed...
Reply With Quote
  #58  
Old 09-23-2016, 02:59 PM
Psalms31chick Psalms31chick is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: CA, LA
Posts: 1,014
Thanks: 29
Thanked 95 Times in 45 Posts
Default

MWI friendship for 8 years and then married 10. In the process of filing for divorce and he's trying to get spousal support. It was good while it lasted. Now it's just ugly. Smh
Reply With Quote
  #59  
Old 09-23-2016, 03:01 PM
Psalms31chick Psalms31chick is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: CA, LA
Posts: 1,014
Thanks: 29
Thanked 95 Times in 45 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by ladyduke View Post
How do I make a 15yr ended relationship story short? Lifer, friends, lovers, married, divorced, hurt, bitter, apologies, forgiveness, sad, mad, cry, happy, lovers, in love, try this again I can do better, only one of us on board, he found new love, I'm still in love, he claims to still be I need love, time to cut cord I have to he we won't, game play,disrespect, hurt, sad, broken, depressed...
You deserve to be happy, I'm going to pray for you,
Reply With Quote
  #60  
Old 10-27-2016, 09:56 PM
Faith123 Faith123 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 67
Thanks: 0
Thanked 31 Times in 22 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by lexie70 View Post
Women dont forget these men need money orders, visits, phone calls, an address to be paroled to.. Lets put the coming home fantasy to sleep and start thinking with our heads. If you didnt have a relationship when he was free you definitely wont have one when he regains his freedom.. Men prey on the needy, it's all about survival..
I said this in another post and so many MWI women were offended...Like come on. These men love to play games so I don't understand how any one can still be so naive. It really does suck.
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Faith123 For This Useful Post:
a.rare.love (10-28-2016), sharalynn0125 (02-11-2017), Waitil723 (01-26-2017)
  #61  
Old 10-28-2016, 12:22 AM
Raf's Girl Raf's Girl is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 222
Thanks: 126
Thanked 116 Times in 82 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rambowife View Post
I said this in another post and so many MWI women were offended...Like come on. These men love to play games so I don't understand how any one can still be so naive. It really does suck.
Doesn't that go for all who are incarcerated???? They all need money, calls and visits and those with family or spouses are fishing in the pen pal pond as well. Those who stand by their man are on such a high horse about MWI relations BUT on the other hand ladies, those women who are in a MWI relation are filling the shoes of those drop death women that left their guys when things got rough. That is the flip side of the coin. IF those women never left their men or the moms and dads of those guys then there would be no place for MWI relationships. I know I'm barking up the wrong tree but think about why MWI does excisted before you judge those ladies who are in a MWI relation. For sure you need to be aware when in a MWI relation that it might be over after he is free again, but to be honest how much security does being married to guy gives you ladies??? If he walks out on you after being set free, he is as gone as in an MWI relation. So get real and know even you are there as long as they need you if the prison gets to them. On the other hand some MWI relations are formed under the worst of circumstances and those ladies know what to expect from the guy they are with.
I like the guys I write but I'm not with the guys like in a relationship. We understand each other and I help one of them. I never expected him to love me in return. Perhaps that is the difference???
Yes I admit I thought I was into someone at a certain point but a visit was the wake up call I needed.
Sometimes the MWI relation is build on quick sand and the guy has multiple ladies at hand that is true as well. So there is a thin line between what is wrong or right. Don't deny those in a great MWI relationship their love because YOU don't understand it. You never knew the guys that well either otherwise they wouldn't have ended up in jail I assume.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Raf's Girl For This Useful Post:
a.rare.love (02-19-2017)
  #62  
Old 10-28-2016, 08:54 AM
Faith123 Faith123 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 67
Thanks: 0
Thanked 31 Times in 22 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Raf's Girl View Post
Doesn't that go for all who are incarcerated???? They all need money, calls and visits and those with family or spouses are fishing in the pen pal pond as well. Those who stand by their man are on such a high horse about MWI relations BUT on the other hand ladies, those women who are in a MWI relation are filling the shoes of those drop death women that left their guys when things got rough. That is the flip side of the coin. IF those women never left their men or the moms and dads of those guys then there would be no place for MWI relationships. I know I'm barking up the wrong tree but think about why MWI does excisted before you judge those ladies who are in a MWI relation. For sure you need to be aware when in a MWI relation that it might be over after he is free again, but to be honest how much security does being married to guy gives you ladies??? If he walks out on you after being set free, he is as gone as in an MWI relation. So get real and know even you are there as long as they need you if the prison gets to them. On the other hand some MWI relations are formed under the worst of circumstances and those ladies know what to expect from the guy they are with.
I like the guys I write but I'm not with the guys like in a relationship. We understand each other and I help one of them. I never expected him to love me in return. Perhaps that is the difference???
Yes I admit I thought I was into someone at a certain point but a visit was the wake up call I needed.
Sometimes the MWI relation is build on quick sand and the guy has multiple ladies at hand that is true as well. So there is a thin line between what is wrong or right. Don't deny those in a great MWI relationship their love because YOU don't understand it. You never knew the guys that well either otherwise they wouldn't have ended up in jail I assume.
No one has time to read your ESSAY...sorrynotsorry...Good luck with your MWI hope you guys are the exception....Peace
Reply With Quote
  #63  
Old 10-28-2016, 12:25 PM
a.rare.love's Avatar
a.rare.love a.rare.love is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: California
Posts: 463
Thanks: 2,604
Thanked 257 Times in 188 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rambowife View Post
I said this in another post and so many MWI women were offended...

Like come on. These men love to play games so I don't understand how any one can still be so naive. It really does suck.

Yep. Games from immature loser-men, going no place good in life, still play lil boy immature games in prison. Only diff is, the bars/steel gate around them. Gotta be able to know that early on to avoid giving too much/mainly your heart.

Now...

Even though few of my greatest friends met while a guy was in prison they are all with the guy still/happy and or engaged. No drama/no immature bullsh-t. Yep.... so i know it can work ya know and i support others i see in an MWI relationship/friendship partnership etc.
-
But i always say and even in my signature here..."I lead with my MIND only."
-
I don't care if my loved on in prison or out...I never EVER again will lead with my heart. I feel better livin' this way too. and so far so good ..."
-

I hope more in life lead by their mind/not heart and only premise a man's love for them on ACTION and not just words. God speed to all of us.
__________________
True love wins each time.
Lead with your mind + not your heart...

---


Reply With Quote
  #64  
Old 11-03-2016, 03:22 PM
AndyS AndyS is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Texas US
Posts: 347
Thanks: 488
Thanked 601 Times in 220 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rambowife View Post
No one has time to read your ESSAY...sorrynotsorry...Good luck with your MWI hope you guys are the exception....Peace
If you don't take the time to read others responses why should anyone even read/respond to yours? And I read her entire post /essay...
Reply With Quote
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to AndyS For This Useful Post:
Anjewel (11-10-2016), coachy1 (11-03-2016), Critter07 (01-10-2017), Cutepixie (11-11-2016), Guccigir1 (02-17-2017), missingdee (11-04-2016), Raf's Girl (11-21-2016), Sarianna (11-04-2016)
  #65  
Old 11-04-2016, 01:59 PM
missingdee missingdee is online now
She's Home! Moderator

PTO Moderator 

 

Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Metro Los Angeles, CA, USA
Posts: 1,546
Thanks: 1,386
Thanked 1,993 Times in 868 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rambowife View Post
No one has time to read your ESSAY...sorrynotsorry...Good luck with your MWI hope you guys are the exception....Peace
Dude(tte). What is your problem?

Scammers are always a risk with MWI. If you think about it, your MBI or my MBI could be using you or me the same way. And I got warned by a few folks early on this may be the case. And in some ways....there was some truth to what they were saying. I'm not going to get into the "E and Dee Evolutionary Path" but if I told you some things from Year 2 of that relationship and didn't disclose it was MBI and threw in the "I found her on a pen pal site" you'd be telling me about all the red flags and to get out. (And now that we're in Year 6, you'd look at the path and say ".....oh. Now I get it." But that's not the point.)

MBI is not better than MWI. As an MBI I'd argue MWI in some ways is better than MBI even, because you don't go through the sort of crap I went through with her that led up to the incarceration. You get the person who is (hopefully) trying to reform. Some may be scamming for money or for a place to live. But some are not. It's up to the person making the contact to determine whether or not this is the right relationship for them, just like it was my choice, when she got locked up, to decide to stick by her.
__________________
The Colorblind Moderator (I'm not even going to try to use green down here, I'll embarass myself! LOL!) Currently assisting in all forums and actively monitoring Wives and Girlfriends in Prison and the California forums.

#ByeCDCR #TimesUp #HomeForChristmas
Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to missingdee For This Useful Post:
AndyS (11-04-2016), Anjewel (11-10-2016), Guccigir1 (02-17-2017), nancyginnm (01-22-2017), Raf's Girl (11-21-2016), Sarianna (11-05-2016)
  #66  
Old 02-16-2017, 02:01 PM
Tried&True's Avatar
Tried&True Tried&True is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,418
Thanks: 530
Thanked 1,947 Times in 838 Posts
Default

Never noticed this thread before...so I'll drop my nickel. My ex was MWI. I stayed committed to him, supported him, and loved him for 5 years. The week before he got out I received a "Dear Joe" letter and haven't heard from him since. Just as well, I guess; he made it only about 6 months before violating and is back inside.

He played his part very well. I was never so happy or felt so loved. Shame it was all a well rehearsed performance. Always use caution....MWI is not the way to fond lasting love!
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Tried&True For This Useful Post:
fbopnomore (02-17-2017), Sarianna (02-18-2017)
  #67  
Old 02-19-2017, 09:02 PM
jaee_13 jaee_13 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: USA Texas
Posts: 3
Thanks: 2
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by SpicaRigel View Post
Jade, i love your honesty..."it was fantasy", so was my MWI, and i went with it for six years! i'm okay with him now, cuz i know i was dealing with a sociopath, he's mentally ill,and thats not his fault! It's not. but you gotta be careful when writing these guys who are already locked up. i got a member here, who, bless her heart watches my back! i just started with a new pen pal, and she pointed out things that went right over my head! be nice, be you, but Be Careful!


Things that went over your head? I met my guy when he first got locked up, then got sentenced. I was a c.o & my cousin was a celly with him...& we've been talking ever since, minus a bump in the road. I feel that i love him but im also very confused.. do these ever work out? Hiw do i know if im stupid or not?
Reply With Quote
  #68  
Old Yesterday, 09:36 AM
sidewalker sidewalker is online now
CA, LASO, site sug. SUPER MOD

PTO Super Moderator Staff Superstar Winner 

Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: ca usa
Posts: 27,634
Thanks: 46,348
Thanked 23,526 Times in 12,251 Posts
Default

If they start trying to control you or ask for money all the time.
As a former CO you would probably know some of the *red flags*
__________________
My windows aren't dirty

That's my dog's nose art

Reply With Quote
  #69  
Old Yesterday, 03:59 PM
jaee_13 jaee_13 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: USA Texas
Posts: 3
Thanks: 2
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default

You're right. . .he's never been controlling. More like the opposite.. he was understanding with school, tried pushing me as much as he could when i decided to enroll in school again. He asked me for money once be 2 yrs ago. But it wasnt more then 20$.. & last week he asked the same because his mom was in surgery & he just needed for hygiene stuff.. i question everything because thats the type of person i am. & i overthink everything & always see the negative about things. Thats why this is very hard for me..
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 10:35 AM.
Copyright © 2001- 2013 Prison Talk Online
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Website Design & Custom vBulletin Skins by: Relivo Media
Message Board Statistics