Welcome to the Prison Talk Online Community! Take a Minute and Sign Up Today!






Go Back   Prison Talk > FOR "OFFENDERS" > Recidivism and Re-entry
Register Entertainment FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

Recidivism and Re-entry Share information, research, and personal experiences.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 02-14-2012, 01:57 PM
UIn UIn is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: FL, USA
Posts: 4
Thanks: 1
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Lightbulb Re-socialization: How to keep them from going to prison again?

Hi,
I am looking for a way/method/anything! to make re-socialization work. Please share your knowledge, tips, tricks, insights with me.
- What do you do to keep your loved once from going back to prison again?
- What could society do to keep them from falling back into old habits?
- Is there a perfect solution or a perfect set up/process?

Thanks
San
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to UIn For This Useful Post:
bluebella (02-14-2012)
Sponsored Links
  #2  
Old 02-14-2012, 05:48 PM
bluebella's Avatar
bluebella bluebella is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: az maricopa
Posts: 1,814
Thanks: 4,701
Thanked 5,448 Times in 1,495 Posts
Default

The only thing other then placing him in God's hands is to be posative. In other words IMO even when my "children" were under eighteen they had to pick their own path and way. Even when I am asked to help, I may not be able to and it may not be possible or the best thing.

If I am in a good place in my life, setting an example is maybe the best thing I can do. Personal choices got him there and personal choices will keep him out.
__________________
~ Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today. ~ James Dean
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to bluebella For This Useful Post:
KCdenver (05-14-2013)
  #3  
Old 02-14-2012, 06:30 PM
I'm done's Avatar
I'm done I'm done is offline
but I'm not finished, !!!
 

Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: lawenceville ga
Posts: 284
Thanks: 70
Thanked 84 Times in 24 Posts
Default

dearest UIn, when my son came home we had him a job, his mistake was dating a crazy jealous girl and he is crazy too, then 7 month out she gets pregnant. I said all that to say
my son his head was hard. He didnt listen,not to me nor his friends nobody, everybody told him to leave the golddigger alone, but he said no i have to take care of the baby u know the rest , he is doing time, he was set up,,, we did all we could took him from her he went back, she left she came back, i cried i reminded him of his probation time and what would happen if he got into trouble, nothing helped!! But I still hang in there, I'm mad as heck but I gotta stick out the 10yrs8months i just got to. But you you do whats best, see we dont know when it will happen and the child will say ill listen...
Hey you guys take care
__________________
GOD BROUGHT US TO IT, HE WILL BRING US THROUGH IT, PRAISE TO OUR GOD
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 02-14-2012, 06:34 PM
Patty's Avatar
Patty Patty is offline
WINNING! Admin

PTOQ Editorial Team Member 

Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Rockford, Illinois
Posts: 38,202
Thanks: 16,072
Thanked 37,869 Times in 10,461 Posts
Default

Media / Journalists & Students / Researchers:
When a journalist or member of the media posts on the site - or students/researchers post on the site for research purposes - they are expected to explain the purpose of the request to the members and to encourage members to post their stories in the thread. Considering the fact that this is a prisoner-oriented site, any media stories evolving from PTO communication should be that of a positive nature. Requests with the intent of provoking derogatory comments about prisoners or corrections officers will not be tolerated. Inviting outside contact of PTO members is also not allowed. Persons in the media and students/researchers are also not allowed to send unsolicited emails and/or private messages to members of PTO. Posting a personal email address within the thread is also not allowed. It is not the responsibility of the PTO Administration or Staff to authenticate or verify any statement or facts purported by members of PTO. At the discretion of PTO Administration, any media-related post/request or research-related post/request may be removed from the site. This may be done without warning or prior notification. PTO does not endorse any media outlet, journalist, member of the media or media story/report, or any students/researchers or involved educational/research institution. However, any information obtained from this site must be credited to Prisontalk.com and its members. Failure to follow these rules and policies will result in the request being immediately removed from the site and permanent banning of the media member(s) or students/researchers involved.
__________________
For those who can, contributions to keep PTO up and running are most welcome HERE

THIS CORRESPONDENCE
IS FROM A WOMAN IN LOVE
WITH A FORMER INMATE OF
THE ILLINOIS DEPARTMENT
OF CORRECTIONS





Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 02-14-2012, 08:44 PM
UIn UIn is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: FL, USA
Posts: 4
Thanks: 1
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Default

Hi bluebella,
Thanks for your post! Is there anything the "system" (who or whatever that might be) could do to help?

Quote:
Originally Posted by bluebella View Post
The only thing other then placing him in God's hands is to be posative. In other words IMO even when my "children" were under eighteen they had to pick their own path and way. Even when I am asked to help, I may not be able to and it may not be possible or the best thing.

If I am in a good place in my life, setting an example is maybe the best thing I can do. Personal choices got him there and personal choices will keep him out.
__________________
WHAT could make re-socialization successful?
I wonder what we as a society, family and friends can actively DO to help the integration process. What are the biggest obstacles? There MUST be a way to make it work! Let's find a solution!
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 02-14-2012, 08:46 PM
UIn UIn is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: FL, USA
Posts: 4
Thanks: 1
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Default

Hi,
Thanks for answering.
Do you think a support structure (for example a set up like the AA) have helped your boy to stay out of trouble? Do you think if the families would get some help/assistance it would be easier for everyone and more likely to be successful?

Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm done View Post
dearest UIn, when my son came home we had him a job, his mistake was dating a crazy jealous girl and he is crazy too, then 7 month out she gets pregnant. I said all that to say
my son his head was hard. He didnt listen,not to me nor his friends nobody, everybody told him to leave the golddigger alone, but he said no i have to take care of the baby u know the rest , he is doing time, he was set up,,, we did all we could took him from her he went back, she left she came back, i cried i reminded him of his probation time and what would happen if he got into trouble, nothing helped!! But I still hang in there, I'm mad as heck but I gotta stick out the 10yrs8months i just got to. But you you do whats best, see we dont know when it will happen and the child will say ill listen...
Hey you guys take care
__________________
WHAT could make re-socialization successful?
I wonder what we as a society, family and friends can actively DO to help the integration process. What are the biggest obstacles? There MUST be a way to make it work! Let's find a solution!
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 02-14-2012, 09:16 PM
bluebella's Avatar
bluebella bluebella is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: az maricopa
Posts: 1,814
Thanks: 4,701
Thanked 5,448 Times in 1,495 Posts
Default

The "system" could first spend time on their background and get help for those who have a background in mental health, drug addiction... consequences, and also proper help to understand how they got where they are and/or medication needed.

Often people are agreeable to charges as they are less able at the time to play the system. We little people are not educated on how the system works and we get caught up with more then others with the same charges. Maybe there needs to be a check and balance system to make sure they are getting their right to an attorney.

Although those who do wrong need to pay for that, for how long? Should there be a limit automatic when a felon has paid?

Support such as AA I think is so important. Too bad AA is not supported by thr PO's. If my son had the support offered like in the old days of AA and/or support in addition to AA, I would not be here today posting to this much needed PTO forum.
__________________
~ Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today. ~ James Dean
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 02-15-2012, 01:03 PM
lack10 lack10 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Maryland
Posts: 206
Thanks: 0
Thanked 37 Times in 22 Posts
Default

We need the laws to change so it is no impossible to get a ok job. Take the label off of ex-felon.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to lack10 For This Useful Post:
froggie01 (05-25-2012), KCdenver (05-14-2013)
  #9  
Old 02-16-2012, 12:12 AM
Firebrand's Avatar
Firebrand Firebrand is offline
The Cowtown Moderator

PTO Moderator 

 

Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 2,221
Thanks: 1,983
Thanked 5,061 Times in 1,280 Posts
Default

There’s too much help out here not to make it. If you’re willing to do the right thing then, there’s a better life out here for you than the one you knew in prison. For those who don’t care or choose to revert back to what led them to prison, there’s never enough help to be found. Many of us struggle with chemicals and the inability to leave it alone. I am a part of that group. At the moment, I have the upper hand and that’s good enough for me. I only have today and the truth is that’s all I need.

I’m not asking anyone to play a violin for me or shed any tears, but I’ve got it as hard as anyone I know out here on parole. I have no family, no children, no wife or girlfriend and I’ve been faced with that reality for more than 5 years now. I’ve been on the most intensive form of supervision where parole is concerned here in Texas there is to be found for a robbery conviction for almost 2 Ĺ years since my release with at least another year to go. I’ve also been living in a south Dallas halfway house in one of the toughest parts of town in any town to be found for the better part of that 2 Ĺ years. In reality, I’ve done better since October of 2009 than ever before and I’ve basically done it with no help at all from anyone I ever knew or had any ties to where the past is concerned. It hasn’t come easy and there’s lots of room for improvement on my part, but I figured out that in order to be a better person out here, you have to find something to live for besides yourself.

Where aftercare programs, second chance organizations, and non profit groups that work with the needy are concerned, they’re everywhere. You can make it out here just on the help that society offers here in America. It’s for not for the lack of help that people go back to prison. It’s for the lack of determination and the will to be a better person.

Some of us who’ve been to prison want it easy out here and I’m as guilty of that as anyone where my attitude is concerned. I’m better now than I used to be and I think I’ll continue to become better. If you want it easy then the dope house is just up the street and the liquor store is a little ways past it; that’s easy. What’s hard is divorcing yourself from the idea that life could be so much better if we all didn’t have to work so hard at living it and surviving in a world we didn’t make. That’s not reality though, and it never will be. We’re all soldiers out here whether we want to be or not and there’s no choice in that except death.

Hard work and a loving heart has been and always will be rewarded, but the problem with many of us is deep down inside we want everything to come easy and when we don’t get our way we either rebel or we make ourselves out to be the victim. “Poor me” or “Why can’t I get a break out here?” are signs of someone that often times knows what needs to be done, but will not do so because of selfishness or laziness. Many of us come home from prison and we’re tired, we’re weary, and we seem to think that everyone we meet has to give us the good house keeping seal of approval before we can make any progress. We place too much emphasis upon a word called “forgiveness” and what other people think about us. I wish I had the forgiveness and approval of everyone I know, but the reality is I don’t and in truth I don’t need it to be a better person or make it out here. I am free and I have enough resources to live a decent life out here just as matters stand today in the here and now.

No, I can’t have it all. I can’t commit 6 felonies, spend 15 years in prison and have gone there 3 times with the hope of not being held to higher degree of accountability in the aftermath of what I did. I still have it better right now than a tremendous number of people in other parts of the world and even better than some people here in America. The only reason that is so is because I haven’t given up. I have fallen down and stumbled my way through life at times in the last 2 Ĺ years, but I’m not the guy that robbed and stole from people in years past anymore. Because of that, there is hope and promise for me. There’s a more important point to it all. I am needed just the way I am today; I am greatly needed. I am also rewarded. Maybe not in the same way as someone else who has not been to prison or someone who has a higher paying career and lifestyle, but still, I am someone special in that I am a part of the solution to recidivism by the attitude I have about myself and my place in the world. I don’t need anything more than what is offered in the here and now.
__________________
We're All In This Together
Reply With Quote
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Firebrand For This Useful Post:
chiclet (05-30-2012), DannysFM (04-23-2012), KCdenver (05-14-2013), Lucky's Wifey (05-21-2012), Real Checker (03-12-2012), Sheryl P. (03-13-2012), Supercreep (02-22-2012)
  #10  
Old 02-16-2012, 08:58 PM
tracie2's Avatar
tracie2 tracie2 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: VA USA
Posts: 61
Thanks: 19
Thanked 38 Times in 26 Posts
Default

WOW. Thank you for the insight. I am happy for your success. I think the whole point may be that you are alone. I think that you have to remove yourself from the same garden of evil that you were plucked from.... My husband was out only 13 monhts after a 10 year bid. He is an addict. His charges were never drug charges i.e. possession or distribution but they sure did make him do stupid crap to feed the habit. Anyway, to answer the post, I do think that if his parole officer had randomly drug tested him this may not have happened.. not once but twice. I know that in VA the PO's are very over loaded and over worked. This is a problem but I do not think it will be resolved because of budget issues ect. He did go through an NA program this time and I have totally seen a difference in him. If not, I do not think I would still be with him.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to tracie2 For This Useful Post:
UIn (02-17-2012)
  #11  
Old 02-17-2012, 09:01 AM
Floridafriend Floridafriend is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Florida, USA
Posts: 116
Thanks: 2
Thanked 24 Times in 22 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Firebrand
There’s too much help out here not to make it. If you’re willing to do the right thing then, there’s a better life out here for you than the one you knew in prison. For those who don’t care or choose to revert back to what led them to prison, there’s never enough help to be found. Many of us struggle with chemicals and the inability to leave it alone. I am a part of that group. At the moment, I have the upper hand and that’s good enough for me. I only have today and the truth is that’s all I need.

I’m not asking anyone to play a violin for me or shed any tears, but I’ve got it as hard as anyone I know out here on parole. I have no family, no children, no wife or girlfriend and I’ve been faced with that reality for more than 5 years now. I’ve been on the most intensive form of supervision where parole is concerned here in Texas there is to be found for a robbery conviction for almost 2 Ĺ years since my release with at least another year to go. I’ve also been living in a south Dallas halfway house in one of the toughest parts of town in any town to be found for the better part of that 2 Ĺ years. In reality, I’ve done better since October of 2009 than ever before and I’ve basically done it with no help at all from anyone I ever knew or had any ties to where the past is concerned. It hasn’t come easy and there’s lots of room for improvement on my part, but I figured out that in order to be a better person out here, you have to find something to live for besides yourself.

Where aftercare programs, second chance organizations, and non profit groups that work with the needy are concerned, they’re everywhere. You can make it out here just on the help that society offers here in America. It’s for not for the lack of help that people go back to prison. It’s for the lack of determination and the will to be a better person.

Some of us who’ve been to prison want it easy out here and I’m as guilty of that as anyone where my attitude is concerned. I’m better now than I used to be and I think I’ll continue to become better. If you want it easy then the dope house is just up the street and the liquor store is a little ways past it; that’s easy. What’s hard is divorcing yourself from the idea that life could be so much better if we all didn’t have to work so hard at living it and surviving in a world we didn’t make. That’s not reality though, and it never will be. We’re all soldiers out here whether we want to be or not and there’s no choice in that except death.

Hard work and a loving heart has been and always will be rewarded, but the problem with many of us is deep down inside we want everything to come easy and when we don’t get our way we either rebel or we make ourselves out to be the victim. “Poor me” or “Why can’t I get a break out here?” are signs of someone that often times knows what needs to be done, but will not do so because of selfishness or laziness. Many of us come home from prison and we’re tired, we’re weary, and we seem to think that everyone we meet has to give us the good house keeping seal of approval before we can make any progress. We place too much emphasis upon a word called “forgiveness” and what other people think about us. I wish I had the forgiveness and approval of everyone I know, but the reality is I don’t and in truth I don’t need it to be a better person or make it out here. I am free and I have enough resources to live a decent life out here just as matters stand today in the here and now.

No, I can’t have it all. I can’t commit 6 felonies, spend 15 years in prison and have gone there 3 times with the hope of not being held to higher degree of accountability in the aftermath of what I did. I still have it better right now than a tremendous number of people in other parts of the world and even better than some people here in America. The only reason that is so is because I haven’t given up. I have fallen down and stumbled my way through life at times in the last 2 Ĺ years, but I’m not the guy that robbed and stole from people in years past anymore. Because of that, there is hope and promise for me. There’s a more important point to it all. I am needed just the way I am today; I am greatly needed. I am also rewarded. Maybe not in the same way as someone else who has not been to prison or someone who has a higher paying career and lifestyle, but still, I am someone special in that I am a part of the solution to recidivism by the attitude I have about myself and my place in the world. I don’t need anything more than what is offered in the here and now.
Your post should serve as an inspiration to all who have has issues in the past. Congratulations on turning your life around. I think 2 1/2 years is long enough for a track record. I wish you the very best in the future. You deserve some good things to happen to you. God bless.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Floridafriend For This Useful Post:
Firebrand (02-17-2012)
  #12  
Old 02-17-2012, 07:53 PM
UIn UIn is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: FL, USA
Posts: 4
Thanks: 1
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Default

Hi Firebrand,
Thank you for this elaborate insight! You mention "deep down inside we want everything to come easy and when we donít get our way we either rebel or we make ourselves out to be the victim.Ē
Very interesting! Here an analogy: I just learned from a children educator that some parents hit their kids because they are too lazy to deal with the issues their child has. Hitting a child so it shuts up or follows rules ecc. is the lazy/easy way to educate (and the wrong method). Interacting, communicating, understanding is the hard way as it is so much more time consuming and requires so much more involvement (see conscious discipline). Children learn self-control at an early stage and I guess, if I understand you correct, that is what a lot of people that keep committing crimes and abusing drugs are lacking. What do you think about this analogy?
Thanks again for your contribution to the discussion, really helpful.
Best
San


Quote:
Originally Posted by Firebrand View Post
Thereís too much help out here not to make it. If youíre willing to do the right thing then, thereís a better life out here for you than the one you knew in prison. For those who donít care or choose to revert back to what led them to prison, thereís never enough help to be found. Many of us struggle with chemicals and the inability to leave it alone. I am a part of that group. At the moment, I have the upper hand and thatís good enough for me. I only have today and the truth is thatís all I need.

Iím not asking anyone to play a violin for me or shed any tears, but Iíve got it as hard as anyone I know out here on parole. I have no family, no children, no wife or girlfriend and Iíve been faced with that reality for more than 5 years now. Iíve been on the most intensive form of supervision where parole is concerned here in Texas there is to be found for a robbery conviction for almost 2 Ĺ years since my release with at least another year to go. Iíve also been living in a south Dallas halfway house in one of the toughest parts of town in any town to be found for the better part of that 2 Ĺ years. In reality, Iíve done better since October of 2009 than ever before and Iíve basically done it with no help at all from anyone I ever knew or had any ties to where the past is concerned. It hasnít come easy and thereís lots of room for improvement on my part, but I figured out that in order to be a better person out here, you have to find something to live for besides yourself.

Where aftercare programs, second chance organizations, and non profit groups that work with the needy are concerned, theyíre everywhere. You can make it out here just on the help that society offers here in America. Itís for not for the lack of help that people go back to prison. Itís for the lack of determination and the will to be a better person.

Some of us whoíve been to prison want it easy out here and Iím as guilty of that as anyone where my attitude is concerned. Iím better now than I used to be and I think Iíll continue to become better. If you want it easy then the dope house is just up the street and the liquor store is a little ways past it; thatís easy. Whatís hard is divorcing yourself from the idea that life could be so much better if we all didnít have to work so hard at living it and surviving in a world we didnít make. Thatís not reality though, and it never will be. Weíre all soldiers out here whether we want to be or not and thereís no choice in that except death.

Hard work and a loving heart has been and always will be rewarded, but the problem with many of us is deep down inside we want everything to come easy and when we donít get our way we either rebel or we make ourselves out to be the victim. ďPoor meĒ or ďWhy canít I get a break out here?Ē are signs of someone that often times knows what needs to be done, but will not do so because of selfishness or laziness. Many of us come home from prison and weíre tired, weíre weary, and we seem to think that everyone we meet has to give us the good house keeping seal of approval before we can make any progress. We place too much emphasis upon a word called ďforgivenessĒ and what other people think about us. I wish I had the forgiveness and approval of everyone I know, but the reality is I donít and in truth I donít need it to be a better person or make it out here. I am free and I have enough resources to live a decent life out here just as matters stand today in the here and now.

No, I canít have it all. I canít commit 6 felonies, spend 15 years in prison and have gone there 3 times with the hope of not being held to higher degree of accountability in the aftermath of what I did. I still have it better right now than a tremendous number of people in other parts of the world and even better than some people here in America. The only reason that is so is because I havenít given up. I have fallen down and stumbled my way through life at times in the last 2 Ĺ years, but Iím not the guy that robbed and stole from people in years past anymore. Because of that, there is hope and promise for me. Thereís a more important point to it all. I am needed just the way I am today; I am greatly needed. I am also rewarded. Maybe not in the same way as someone else who has not been to prison or someone who has a higher paying career and lifestyle, but still, I am someone special in that I am a part of the solution to recidivism by the attitude I have about myself and my place in the world. I donít need anything more than what is offered in the here and now.
__________________
WHAT could make re-socialization successful?
I wonder what we as a society, family and friends can actively DO to help the integration process. What are the biggest obstacles? There MUST be a way to make it work! Let's find a solution!
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 03-12-2012, 06:25 PM
Real Checker Real Checker is offline
Registered User
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Texas, USA
Posts: 954
Thanks: 442
Thanked 2,642 Times in 673 Posts
Default

During my 5th and final incarceration I had to ask myself the same question. What would work to keep me from returning? For me there was no single thing, but a combination of several things that I had to change. First off, I had to consider how the mind and behavior of someone who never commits crimes or does drugs work.

The attitude I tried to maintain (and still do) is not to try and stay out of prison. Good people do not worry about going to prison. No conscious effort is made to keep the police off their backs. Good people simply do not commit crimes or do anything illegal. Not because they might go to prison, but because it is wrong. That is why I no longer commit crimes ... it is wrong.

Good people do not do drugs (except maybe to experiment) because they know they are illegal, but also because they know they will be less likely to meet their responsibilities under the influence. I learned to take pride in meeting my responsibilities which in turn improves my self-esteem and self worth.

There were so many character traits that I had which were totally flawed and over my last 10 year incarceration I made it a point to address each one. I lacked an education that would enable self-sufficient employment. I will be the first to admit that education is no guarantee of employment ... but it does prepare one for setting and attaining short term goals which is exactly what a person is faced with when they first get out. It was not easy getting a degree in prison. Many times I had to fight the administration for transfers to other units where the courses I needed were offered. I had to fight for funding since PEL grants were stopped for the incarcerated. When I walked out the gates I had two degrees. I had the confidence that I could attain any goal I set ... which was worth more than the paper my degrees were printed on.

Toward the end of my sentence I was sent to a program called Pre-Release Therapeutic Community (PRTC). This program (at least when I went though it) was very "therapeutic". Those in the "community" all lived on the same cell block. In my case it was a cell block on the Beto I Unit in Texas ... one of the toughest units in Texas. We were segregated from the rest of the population except for chow and showers. I don't want to take the time to describe the program in detail, but as an example I'll tell you one of the methods. Each person in the program was required to report a rule violation of another person in the program at least once a week. If you did not report someone for a violation then you would be in violation yourself. In other words you were required to be a "snitch". Most guys did not understand this since it goes against every fiber of their being to snitch on another convict. Ha, but that was the point ... to purge the convict thinking from us.

The bottom line, I believe, is that the only way to assure someone doesn't got back to prison is for that person to have a complete change in their way of thinking. This means it is on the convict, not the system. The system should be made to provide the tools needed for change, but unless the individual wants it then it will never happen. My wife is a school teacher, but she once told me she does not teacher her students. She said she cannot make them learn, all she can do is encourage them and make it possible for them to learn in the way she presents the information. It is the same, I think, with convicts. The system can encourage and present the tools necessary for them to change ... but it cannot change them.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Real Checker For This Useful Post:
Mustardseed (03-30-2012), Sheryl P. (03-13-2012)
  #14  
Old 03-30-2012, 09:44 AM
knorton20's Avatar
knorton20 knorton20 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Indiana, USA
Posts: 19
Thanks: 0
Thanked 40 Times in 11 Posts
Default Staying Out, the Path to Freedom

Quote:
Originally Posted by Real Checker View Post
During my 5th and final incarceration I had to ask myself the same question. What would work to keep me from returning? For me there was no single thing, but a combination of several things that I had to change. First off, I had to consider how the mind and behavior of someone who never commits crimes or does drugs work.

The attitude I tried to maintain (and still do) is not to try and stay out of prison. Good people do not worry about going to prison. No conscious effort is made to keep the police off their backs. Good people simply do not commit crimes or do anything illegal. Not because they might go to prison, but because it is wrong. That is why I no longer commit crimes ... it is wrong.

Good people do not do drugs (except maybe to experiment) because they know they are illegal, but also because they know they will be less likely to meet their responsibilities under the influence. I learned to take pride in meeting my responsibilities which in turn improves my self-esteem and self worth.
You hit it on the nail head! Just like you I had to come to the same change in character, thankfully that was only after two time out of prison. In my case, I had to come to the knowledge that living a life that involved drugs, drinking and partying were not conducive to my staying out of prison. So months before my release from Nevada, I made the choice to never do drugs or drink again. That was over twenty years ago and I am still drug and drink free.

You see, staying out of prison is the man or woman's choice. They have to "want" to stay out and work to accomplish that. I think too many people think that it's going to be easy or smooth sailing. Wrong! It's going to take hard work, dedication, a "I can do it" attitude and a good support group.

When I was released last time I made it a point to get involved with people that were good people, people that had their act together. I joined organizations that allowed me to associate with people that I wanted to be like. One group, which may cause some amusement, was a local bicycle club. Not only were the people positive in their outlook, they also accepted me for me. They were a source of encouragement and as an added benefit, kept me in shape!

In my case, I had taken full advantage of education when I was in prison so I was at least prepared with employable skills. And when I was released I worked (keyword) hard to find work. I also took advantage of employment search training offered by the unemployment office.

In less that a month I had my first job working in an office. And, yes, they knew about my criminal past. I was always honest about my past with employers. Once I had that job I worked harder than others and proved myself to be dependable, effecient, and most of trustworthy.

And now, here I am many years later, free and doing well. The road has not always been easy, but I have succeeded. So can any other man or woman in prison. Decide to make a change, plan the change and then make the change. Never give up...if you've survived prison, you can survive changing your life for the better.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to knorton20 For This Useful Post:
Mustardseed (03-30-2012)
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
acceptance, re-socialization, reality, society

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 02:04 AM.
Copyright © 2001- 2017 Prison Talk Online
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Website Design & Custom vBulletin Skins by: Relivo Media
Message Board Statistics