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View Poll Results: How effective is visitation for our beloved inmates?
Extemely effective 979 86.56%
Very effective 115 10.17%
Somewhat effective 29 2.56%
Not effective 8 0.71%
Voters: 1131. You may not vote on this poll

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  #126  
Old 03-29-2009, 09:39 PM
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When your incarerated visitation and letters are the only thing you have to look forward to.
Close you eyes for one moment and imagine every thing and everyone you know taken away, your children, your family, all personal belonings. Your thrown in to the wolves a mixture of every type of criminal, guards that yell at you, violate you and treat you like dirt.
now imagine being able to exhale , wrap your arms around a familar person, take in their sent, thier tears and smile.
To know that someone cares...
These visit's are very important.

Last edited by terribusa; 03-29-2009 at 09:42 PM.. Reason: spelling
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  #127  
Old 04-02-2009, 01:26 AM
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My fiance always enjoyed the visits even though they were only 30 minutes and on a video. I tried to go every week because I knew that 30 minutes was his only connection to someone that knew him and loved him. We will have our first live visit next week. It will be the first time being able to touch him since August of 2007! His sister does not live nearby, but she visits once a season and he enjoys her visits too. I can not imagine what sort of damage would be done to the emotions of someone without visits.
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  #128  
Old 04-09-2009, 02:54 PM
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Visits r SSSSOOOOOOOOOO important to my Man and me I honestly dont know what I'd do if I couldent visit my baby on the regular, Besides I know the visits ,letters evey day,and phone calls keep him outta problemz and fights. For real though where can I sign up 4 this Transportaion Sevice (Great Idea By the Way)I need a way out to Vienna
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  #129  
Old 05-02-2009, 07:56 PM
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I Think I os a strong motivator to keep them moving in a positive direction. The thought of losing visitation or having phone priviledges taken away place a huge factor in the chioces they make on a daily basis
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  #130  
Old 05-06-2009, 11:08 AM
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As the inmate, I lived for visitations. Even though they were bittersweet. I used to just crash and burn for a couple of days after he came. I knew women whose family lived closer than mine did, but didn't allow them to visit. It was just too hard on them. The mail, the phones, and visitation are why you get up each day. Or it was for me. Kept me connected. Made me set goals and reach them. Kept me from turning into an angry bitter person. In my case, they were extremely effective.
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  #131  
Old 05-22-2009, 11:57 AM
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Visitation is so important to maintain a connection with family and friends. There is truly a great need for transportation for many who wish to visit. That, I've discovered, is the primary reason many people are unable to see their loved ones. Without a car, distances are impossible for many, since there is virtually no transportation available.

This is an amazing idea and I pray it reaches fruition.
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  #132  
Old 06-15-2009, 01:24 AM
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Gosh.. I better ask my Man for a v.o...Since my friend died early this year of terminal Cancer..the first visit was when his death was imminent..so I was pretty cold detached and sat opposite my man without any physical contact for the frist hour and twenty..I have only been on one visit since..because he asked me if I wanted a v.o. Now, after reading all these posts, I realise he probably wants ME to ask him for a v.o..or at least express an interest. Because I am new to this and I kinda thought he would just send me a v.o. I got one in May after 3 months
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  #133  
Old 12-16-2009, 12:44 AM
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visits are of upmost importance for these guys and girls the same. i know my husband is on pins and needles when he knows our visit is coming!
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  #134  
Old 12-25-2009, 07:24 AM
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I went to visit my guy a couple of weeks ago. It's the first time he's had a visit in December in all the years he's been locked up. He's always hated Christmas until now, been all bah-humbug, sitting in his cell with no lights or the tv on, pouting and feeling very un-festive. But this year, because I went to visit him, he's actually enjoying Christmas! When I left him, while we were hugging and kissing our goodbyes, he said, "Thank you for being my December, my Christmas". When I spoke to him on the phone earlier this week he sounded in good spirits and he promised me that he would enjoy today! So yes, visits are extremely important to them, especially during holiday periods.
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  #135  
Old 12-25-2009, 09:44 AM
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Default There are other sides to this...

Interestingly, over the years I've seen people for whom visits were very important (and helpful) and people for whom visits were not so welcome.

A lot depends on a person's mindset, - prison is an enclosed micro-society ("microstic" is on term some sociologists would use) and once one gets into a routine, while life may be "boring", it's very familiar and safe. One learns what one's feelings are from day to day, and how to best manage and accommodate those feelings.

There's a lot of "feeling" or emotional baggage around visits. The anticipation; "Will they come?, When will they come?, "What will we do when they're here?", "I'm gonna feel sad when they leave...", "How do I look?", What will I wear? [No, seriously, guys fret about having good 'visiting clothes' and spend as much time primping in front of a mirror as, well, you know...)

Then, there's the "I wish they didn't have to leave...", Hate to see them go..., Can hardly wait until next time. There also may be a little guilt associated with a visit, "If I hadn't been so stupid they wouldn't have had to make the long trip over here.", or "I wouldn't have had to put them through this..." A lot of stuff goes on around visits.

Here's another interesting thing. First, remember that we create a lot of our reality based on sub-conscious maps and filters. OK, with that in mind, one of the reasons that some people go to the hole over and over again, (and yes, there are lots of reasons, none of which are connected to the actual incidents which cause a person to be sent to the hole) is that most segregation units prohibit or severely limit visiting. and that makes the visiting issue easier on the inmate. Can't have them (or only very few) and so don't have to worry about it.

It's not that the inmates don't want to see you, of course (mostly) they do. It's that flipping channels from the prison reality to whatever is happening in your life is a tough adjustment to make. It can be emotionally exhausting, for both of you.If you've come away from a visit feeling drained, know that your inmate friend feels the same way, or worse. Anyway, interesting stuff.
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  #136  
Old 12-26-2009, 06:04 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dscottsw View Post
Interestingly, over the years I've seen people for whom visits were very important (and helpful) and people for whom visits were not so welcome.

A lot depends on a person's mindset, - prison is an enclosed micro-society ("microstic" is on term some sociologists would use) and once one gets into a routine, while life may be "boring", it's very familiar and safe. One learns what one's feelings are from day to day, and how to best manage and accommodate those feelings.

There's a lot of "feeling" or emotional baggage around visits. The anticipation; "Will they come?, When will they come?, "What will we do when they're here?", "I'm gonna feel sad when they leave...", "How do I look?", What will I wear? [No, seriously, guys fret about having good 'visiting clothes' and spend as much time primping in front of a mirror as, well, you know...)

Then, there's the "I wish they didn't have to leave...", Hate to see them go..., Can hardly wait until next time. There also may be a little guilt associated with a visit, "If I hadn't been so stupid they wouldn't have had to make the long trip over here.", or "I wouldn't have had to put them through this..." A lot of stuff goes on around visits.

Here's another interesting thing. First, remember that we create a lot of our reality based on sub-conscious maps and filters. OK, with that in mind, one of the reasons that some people go to the hole over and over again, (and yes, there are lots of reasons, none of which are connected to the actual incidents which cause a person to be sent to the hole) is that most segregation units prohibit or severely limit visiting. and that makes the visiting issue easier on the inmate. Can't have them (or only very few) and so don't have to worry about it.

It's not that the inmates don't want to see you, of course (mostly) they do. It's that flipping channels from the prison reality to whatever is happening in your life is a tough adjustment to make. It can be emotionally exhausting, for both of you.If you've come away from a visit feeling drained, know that your inmate friend feels the same way, or worse. Anyway, interesting stuff.

My love and I were talking about all of this earlier this week. I had just seen him last weekend and I told him that when I come home after one of our visits (which are rare because I live in another state) I often feel angry and frustrated for a couple of days in spite of how much I enjoyed being with him. Because, of course, I have to leave without him. He said he feels the same way -- and at first I was a little surprised to hear that because he's been in prison for more than 25 years and I just assumed he was kind of "used to it" and knew how to make the adjustments and carry on. Whereas, it is still new for me. We're MWI and have been together for just over a year.

But once I thought about it some more, it made perfect sense that he would have similar emotions as me. And your post confirmed all of that. Thank you. You are helping me to be more understanding of my guy.
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  #137  
Old 01-12-2010, 10:58 PM
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i recall feeling like a kid waiting - that anxious and excited feeling that i use to get during christmas eve.... i couldnt wait to open my presents, well thats what every visit was like... the getting ready for one, the walk to the visiting unit and having that "time" mentally and emotionaly out of jail while visiting with your loved ones.... it was so very important and sad when it was over.
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  #138  
Old 01-24-2010, 10:51 AM
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I think it is very Important. I do not get to go as often as i would like. I live in Redding california and he is in Corcoran 2 if any one goes that way let me know.
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  #139  
Old 02-04-2010, 02:20 PM
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Visitation is very important to them. My man tells me the reason he stays out of the hole is so he can have every visiting oppurtunity he can get. He says that letters and phone calls also help him out with doing his time.
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  #140  
Old 03-19-2010, 02:51 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ThaMisses View Post
Hello Everyone,
My name is Talaya and I am in the process of opening a transportation business that will provide transportation to and from correctional institutes for those wishing to visit an inmate.
This is where you guys come in...
How effective do you think visitation is for an inmate?
If you are an ex inmate can you please speak on the subject for me?
Thank you, Talaya.
Who pays for this service Talaya? Is it prisons or families?
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  #141  
Old 03-19-2010, 06:45 AM
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What an awesome thing to do! I've only gotten to visit my husband once and it cost me a fortune. I'm in Tennessee and he's in Florida. I had to fly AND rent a car, it was stressful and expensive- but OH SO WORTH IT! I can't afford to talk to him on the phone, so all we have are letters. The visits are extremely important. Thanks so much for doing something that would me a lot to our loved ones!
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  #142  
Old 04-02-2010, 08:24 AM
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his happiness is night and day when he gets visits. he's only doing so well because he has that support. he said he wouldn't be this strong if it wasn't for the visits/calls/letters
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  #143  
Old 04-03-2010, 08:09 AM
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Also, please please please call the facility if you have a visit scheduled and cancel if you can not make it. I know in prison you don't schedule them, but in county jail you do, and there is absolutely NOTHING worse then walking up that hall for a visit and being excited, just to turn around and walk back when no one shows. Having to sit in that booth for 30 minutes and stare at an empty glass will def break your spirits.
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  #144  
Old 04-03-2010, 02:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ThaMisses View Post
Hello Everyone,
My name is Talaya and I am in the process of opening a transportation business that will provide transportation to and from correctional institutes for those wishing to visit an inmate.
This is where you guys come in...
How effective do you think visitation is for an inmate?
If you are an ex inmate can you please speak on the subject for me?
Thank you, Talaya.
R u in california. if so whatprison will u travel to
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  #145  
Old 04-05-2010, 04:26 PM
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it means the world to them
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  #146  
Old 06-26-2010, 08:34 PM
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It is very needed for them and us ladies! We lost are vists for 30 days wow was it along hard 30 days
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Old 07-09-2010, 11:04 PM
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i remember when i would expect visits that never showed.that is the worst feeling you can get cuz you know its atleast 7 days before you get another.in va u cant visit an inmate in doc if you have been one yourself,including misdemenors.if you have over 12 months or one year.you can bet your ace your atleast going to receiving.i have a friend doing 4,im the closest thing to family he has and i cant go see him.
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  #148  
Old 07-11-2010, 11:01 AM
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Well, I voted very effective. And it is, there’s no doubt after seeing the looks and hearing the chatter before and after a visit how precious they are. I could see the glow of hope when many returned to the block! Not all visits went smoothly, hell our relationships at home don’t always go smoothly. The point is, love is not always based on feelings either (sorry, I'm getting side-tracked). So, I was thinking while reading the many responses in this thread about those who for many different reasons do not get visits. The inmate whose family-members and/or loved-ones are too far away from the facility, financial limitations or because of work/school schedules, children, etc. I’ve met many behind that wall and here on PTO that fall into that category. So I’m speaking to them as well in this post.
I don’t want any of you to think that a visitation is the only form of important contact. Nor should you feel guilty or afraid that you’re not doing enough in providing that important connection your inmate truly needs. And in fact in my honest opinion I believe visits are “very effective”, but rate only 2nd to what I consider the best form of communication and that is through writing. Of course phone calls are important too, however in my experience and others I had witnessed around me, it rates dead last. But I'll agree, besides the expense it's nice to hear the voice from time to time. We all value our own form of connections differently, I respect & understand that. And with that said; this is only my opinion from what I've witnessed around me.
Visitations are wonderful! It really does help both parties. It demonstrates sacrifice in the travel it takes, placing it above other potential ventures, a desire to touch & be touched physically as well as emotionally and brings a reassurance of love and hope. I’m telling ya ladies, I’ve seen grown men act like giddy-kids after a visitation! And it's over-heard on the block; “I can't imagine no visits”, I couldn't’ do this without my visits”, “I couldn't live without seeing my wife... gf, kids, parents, family” Wait!!! What about those who get no visits, or those visits that are far and few between, how do they cope without? The answer is simple; by writing!!!
A visit lasts for what, an hour on average? OK, 30 minutes! How long does that card or letter last? That’s the beauty of writing; it can be read over and over again! The scribble-drawings done by his (your) young children get taped to the wall and woken-up to and seen every day! Poems are sent, both serious & ridiculous day to day happenings at home, work or school are read, paper clippings and pictures, etc. Now those last more than an hour, and in fact they’ll last a life-time! Writing is definitely a great (positive) distraction from the repititions & everyday politics that go on behind that wall, and it's something an inmate can turn to anytime of day (or night). It’s something much more tangible to focus on than just the memory of a 30 minute visit. Again, not that that’s bad! In fact I encourage any and all forms of communication and connection w/our family-members/loved-ones behind that wall. So speaking of encouragement, which is my intent behind this post. To encourage those who for whatever reason cannot visit or visitations are limited, there’s always writing. And you now know how I feel about that!
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  #149  
Old 07-27-2010, 03:23 PM
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It so important for my baby to have his visits. If he knows I'm coming he will stand at his window and watch me in the parking lot. Last time I came I tied a balloon on the car and wrote I love on the hood. That was a great joy for him and he could believe that I had done that for him. Honey
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  #150  
Old 07-29-2010, 06:44 PM
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OMG! Is this for real!? I mean are you SERIOUS!??? DUH!!!!!!!

Just think, what if it were you? How would YOU feel?? Of course! Naturaly visitation is important! Geez! Aside from calls & letters what else do we have???? Faith, Hope, and God's Grace & Favor! VISITS!!!!!!!

And there ought to be conjugal ones as well (FL doesn't have them)!

Aren't inmates supposed to be 'rehabilitated'? Their success depends mostly on human-contact and friend & family ties! Visits aren't simply important.......

They are essential!

-Mrs. T
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