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  #1  
Old 06-04-2012, 07:48 PM
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Default Thinking of leaving!!! His Ex is back with the drama

Im thinking of leaving my man his ex is back again saying they are together and that he writes and calls her. They have a small child together and for the last couple of months she hasn't been a issue because she had a boyfriend now shes back AGAIN with the same BS I told him I refuse to keep dealing with this unnecessary drama he claims its lies but he has a good amount of time left and has already been gone 2 years. He says it isn't true she says it is I dont know who to believe or if I should just throw in the towel!! I need some advice ladies

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Old 06-04-2012, 07:51 PM
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I'd get some proof. If she's saying he's writing say you don't believe her and want a copy of the letters. If he's calling tell her to record it and you wanna hear it. Make it seem like she's full of shit and she will get mad enough to fork over some evidence. That's just my opinion, I'd need solid proof before Id leave my man or let it cause drama

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Old 06-04-2012, 07:55 PM
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Definitely get a copy of the letters.

That's what I told my fiancee's baby momma when she tried saying he was writing her. She also said he called everyday.. I said okay - 3way me one day and let me hear it out of his mouth. Never heard a word.

A lot of exes know what buttons to push. I'd trust your man until you have a reason not to. I used to let her drama get to me but she's never had a single thing to back her up when the lies start pouring out of her mouth. I on the other hand can post over 20 letters on any date she'd like me to... just ignore her.
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Old 06-04-2012, 08:07 PM
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I try not to communicate with her on any level because she immature I tried to ignore her. I asked her to prove it she sent me a picture of a card and one of him in her bed sleep before he got locked up. He denied the card, but owned up to having sex with her before he got locked up. It just seems like she will always be a issue and if she doing this while he in what will happen when he gets out

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Old 06-04-2012, 08:09 PM
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Oh he's running games girl. Don't put up wit that shit. If she showed you proof and he admitted to a lie I say deuces. But that's solely up to you.

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Old 06-04-2012, 08:09 PM
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I try not to communicate with her on any level because she immature I tried to ignore her. I asked her to prove it she sent me a picture of a card and one of him in her bed sleep before he got locked up. He denied the card, but owned up to having sex with her before he got locked up. It just seems like she will always be a issue and if she doing this while he in what will happen when he gets out

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What was in the card?
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Old 06-04-2012, 08:19 PM
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Wait, he had sex with her before being locked up? While he was still with you?

Girl, if that was me... I'd run and never look back. Let them roll in their shit like the pigs they are. So sorry .. I certainly would never tolerate people acting like fking animals.
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Old 06-04-2012, 08:21 PM
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yeah if you seen proof then she might have some truth..show him that proof as well and she wat he has to say..one thing about it though what comes around goes around if hes cheating on u with her hes going to cheat on her with someone else..dont let this stress u out all i can say is talk to him and try to get some answers ,you know what u can take and allow.
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Old 06-04-2012, 08:22 PM
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Originally Posted by ieatcupcakes
Wait, he had sex with her before being locked up? While he was still with you?

Girl, if that was me... I'd run and never look back. Let them roll in their shit like the pigs they are. So sorry .. I certainly would never tolerate people acting like fking animals.
Amen. I have a ZERO tolerance policy to that shit. My bf cheated once and no sex was involved but to me emotionally it was still cheating. And he KNOWS if I dare find out about something in the past he lied about or he pulls some shit like that again I'm gone. F that there's too many men out in this world to be concerned over one cheating lying one. Nope, ain't got time for that b.s.

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Old 06-04-2012, 08:24 PM
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Amen. I have a ZERO tolerance policy to that shit. My bf cheated once and no sex was involved but to me emotionally it was still cheating. And he KNOWS if I dare find out about something in the past he lied about or he pulls some shit like that again I'm gone. F that there's too many men out in this world to be concerned over one cheating lying one. Nope, ain't got time for that b.s.

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Same here. He emotionally cheated on me too & he knows I will not tolerate it again. It took a lot for me to trust him again so he better not screw up.
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Old 06-04-2012, 08:24 PM
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Im thinking of leaving my man his ex is back again saying they are together and that he writes and calls her. They have a small child together and for the last couple of months she hasn't been a issue because she had a boyfriend now shes back AGAIN with the same BS I told him I refuse to keep dealing with this unnecessary drama he claims its lies but he has a good amount of time left and has already been gone 2 years. He says it isn't true she says it is I dont know who to believe or if I should just throw in the towel!! I need some advice ladies

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So, what you just posted tells me you do not trust what he tells you? If you do not trust him, then you might as well, "throw in the towel", because there is nothing worse than standing beside someone doing a long sentence not trusting them. Do you really want to put yourself through that?

Whether it is true or not, you have to figure out what is best for you and your future.

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  #12  
Old 06-04-2012, 08:41 PM
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Yes as stupid as it was I forgave him and now everyday its a doubt and although we have rebuilt a little trust when little things like this comes up it makes it worst. The card said happy birthday (her name) and he signed it one love and put his name he claimed it was just a genuine gesture to keep the peace so that she continues to allow his mother to bring his daughter to visit. I told him today I need a break its to much

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Old 06-04-2012, 08:44 PM
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Yes as stupid as it was I forgave him and now everyday its a doubt and although we have rebuilt a little trust when little things like this comes up it makes it worst. The card said happy birthday (her name) and he signed it one love and put his name he claimed it was just a genuine gesture to keep the peace so that she continues to allow his mother to bring his daughter to visit. I told him today I need a break its to much

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Doesn't sound bad to me, honestly..
I know what he means about keeping the peace.
I'd be upset too but at the same time he didn't write her some long message professing his love for her.
I'd talk to him about it..
I think a break would probably be best for you two as of now.
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Old 06-04-2012, 08:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tripsgirl

Doesn't sound bad to me, honestly..
I know what he means about keeping the peace.
I'd be upset too but at the same time he didn't write her some long message professing his love for her.
I'd talk to him about it..
I think a break would probably be best for you two as of now.
Your right it wasn't so much as what the card said I just felt like as my partner he should have told me he mailed her a card I should have found out from him not her. So as of today I need some time to clear my head. Thats why I love this site I never could have talked about this with my family or one of my friends without the judgements . Thanks Ladies

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Old 06-04-2012, 08:50 PM
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Your right it wasn't so much as what the card said I just felt like as my partner he should have told me he mailed her a card I should have found out from him not her. So as of today I need some time to clear my head. Thats why I love this site I never could have talked about this with my family or one of my friends without the judgements . Thanks Ladies

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Wait.. you said he denied that he ever sent the card?
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Old 06-04-2012, 08:52 PM
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Im thinking of leaving my man his ex is back again saying they are together and that he writes and calls her. They have a small child together and for the last couple of months she hasn't been a issue because she had a boyfriend now shes back AGAIN with the same BS I told him I refuse to keep dealing with this unnecessary drama he claims its lies but he has a good amount of time left and has already been gone 2 years. He says it isn't true she says it is I dont know who to believe or if I should just throw in the towel!! I need some advice ladies

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How you're going to let that "Delilah" impose on your relationship? They do share a small child so it is fine for him to write and call her. She is just being manipulative. Follow your own lead, remember "loyalty is everything." Stand by your man until he gives you reasons not to.
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Old 06-04-2012, 08:56 PM
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Wait.. you said he denied that he ever sent the card?
Yep denied all the way up until I told him I saw it and told him exactly what it said then he owned up to it which makes me question everything else he says. I asked for the letters she said he wrote she never sent me a picture

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Old 06-04-2012, 08:58 PM
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How you're going to let that "Delilah" impose on your relationship? They do share a small child so it is fine for him to write and call her. She is just being manipulative. Follow your own lead, remember "loyalty is everything." Stand by your man until he gives you reasons not to.
Yes it is butif this is what the next 13 years will be like until his child is grown I cant deal with it

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Old 06-04-2012, 09:02 PM
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Your gut is telling you enough is enough. She should you proof and he admitted to being with her before he got locked up. Some baby mamas and daddies will always have a bond. It can be very confusing. My X husband and I started off as just baby mama and daddie but we kept sleeping with each other. His girlfriend was so busy wanting me to only be the bad guy that she missed all of the signs. If your gut is telling you not to waste any more of your time then listen. My Fiance' has a baby mama and I don't have any problems with her. We don't do the he say, she say. I do not communicate with her, when my Fiance' does he lets me know in advance or I will see something on facebook about her health and I will write him and tell him to contact her. Our daughters communicate and that is it and that is all.
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Old 06-04-2012, 09:05 PM
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Yep denied all the way up until I told him I saw it and told him exactly what it said then he owned up to it which makes me question everything else he says. I asked for the letters she said he wrote she never sent me a picture

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Definitely a huge red flag.
Honestly, though it'll be hard I'd run now.

My fiancee wrote another girl back in February and when I called him out on it he never once tried to lie about it. That's why I was able to forgive him and move on from it. Now if it happened again I'd be gone but since he told the truth I forgave him.
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Old 06-04-2012, 09:11 PM
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Yes as stupid as it was I forgave him and now everyday its a doubt and although we have rebuilt a little trust when little things like this comes up it makes it worst. The card said happy birthday (her name) and he signed it one love and put his name he claimed it was just a genuine gesture to keep the peace so that she continues to allow his mother to bring his daughter to visit. I told him today I need a break its to much

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One Love is not I Love You. You do need to think this out for real. It's not that serious. I see where the gesture and his explanation came from. This is all going back to communication. If he would have told you this then this idle female would not have had any thing to tell you that you were not already aware of. Y'all should communicate more. You need to stand up and stop running because of a dumb ex. Best of luck for real.
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Old 06-04-2012, 09:17 PM
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Yep denied all the way up until I told him I saw it and told him exactly what it said then he owned up to it which makes me question everything else he says. I asked for the letters she said he wrote she never sent me a picture

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No hun! while I was typing, more posts were added. If he lied about the card then he is all games. 13 years is a long ass time to deal with BS and lies. I would not even bother! Lies and I are not friends or the people who tell them. Do you hun!
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Old 06-04-2012, 09:19 PM
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No hun! while I was typing, more posts were added. If he lied about the card then he is all games. 13 years is a long ass time to deal with BS and lies. I would not even bother! Lies and I are not friends or the people who tell them. Do you hun!
Well put thats so true

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Old 06-05-2012, 05:46 AM
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Im thinking of leaving my man his ex is back again saying they are together and that he writes and calls her. They have a small child together and for the last couple of months she hasn't been a issue because she had a boyfriend now shes back AGAIN with the same BS I told him I refuse to keep dealing with this unnecessary drama he claims its lies but he has a good amount of time left and has already been gone 2 years. He says it isn't true she says it is I dont know who to believe or if I should just throw in the towel!! I need some advice ladies

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if they have a child together she will always be in his life - and should be - that child deserves to have his dad and mom and not to have them at each others throats being ugly-
my question is ; if the letters are about the baby and the call about the baby would that still be an issue? be honest with yourself - its ok to say you just dont want that-
or do you think this is romantice in nature - or worse using that innocent baby to get back with daddy?
talk openly with your man - be honest with him and yourself and never require him to choose between you and that baby -
if you can trust him ( not the mother) but your man - then encourage him to have contact - to write to his baby, send little things, pictures, etc. if possible, maybe bring child for visit -
but if you can not do that - then you have a decision to make for sure.
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Old 06-05-2012, 06:01 AM
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Yes it is butif this is what the next 13 years will be like until his child is grown I cant deal with it

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the first person who needs someone to be loyal is the baby. that child will never be grown and gone - thats his child. that one statment is indicative to your true feelings -
dont deny them just bc you have put in sometime with this man - this will grow and grow and eventually he will hold contempt for you.
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