My first pen pal letter...need advice

[BearsLadyBear]

I haven't a clue how to start my letter. What do you write, what to say or not to say.

Help me

[BearsLadyBear]

Should I send a pic with my intro letter or not?

[MizzyMuffling]

Just write about yourself and why you've decided to write and of course, send a picture, maybe don't start with the nude ones right away

I wrote where I found his ad and why I've decided to write, then about myself a bit (age, job, where I'm from, etc.), ask questions maybe, just chit chat and keep is simple at the beginning.

[BearsLadyBear]

Awe man no nude pic Muzzy. Lol. Kidding

What kinds of questions to ask?
I'm all thumbs here

[TheAmazingMrsB]

I wouldn't send a picture at first. Get to know each other a bit first. Tell him about yourself, just the basics. I wouldn't go into a lot of details until you know him a bit better. Just be yourself.

[BearsLadyBear]

To Amazing: I'm not debating you on this question. Why shouldn't I send a pic, in your opinion.

[MizzyMuffling]

Actually, not such a bad idea with not sending a pic at first. Haven't thought about it. Maybe it's nice to get to know each other first before exchanging pics. Good idea. Too late for me but really not too bad

[judiwoo]

In my first letter I just told him about myself and about where I'm from. I would just keep it simple and if you want to send a photo send one but I personally wouldn't straight away

[BearsLadyBear]

Ok. I'll hold off on the photo.

Is a one page letter ok?

[rmc50]

I agree with NOT sending a picture right away, but for a different reason. Unless you are sure what the photo policy of the facility is it might cause problems. This is one area where the rules vary a lot from one facility to another. It is much better to establish contact with a penpal, then ask them what the picture policy is.

As for what to say or not say:

I write to a number of inmate penpals and I always start off explaining WHY I decided to write to an inmate. I will tell about myself, what my interests are, etc.

What I DON'T ask about are details regarding their crime. Most of my penpals have shared that information willingly. You can often get some information by Googling them, but news articals are often inaccurate.

One thing that I recommend is to establish ahead of time how involved you wish to be with the penpal, especially when it comes to money. I will typically provide my penpals with a small amount of money ($20) so that writing to me is not a hardship for them. But at the same time I make it clear that I won't be providing any substantial amount of assistance.

Don't be surprised or take in personal if you don't get a response from your letter. There are a lot of people who just don't have inclination to write letters, or they may not be able to afford to write a letter. Have patience, as the letters are often delayed in getting to the inmate and if they have to purchase the stationary and stamp to write you back there could be significant additional delay.

If you don't get a response after a month or so then select a new inmate and write them. There are a lot of inmates that can write and do want to have a penpal.

I also advise you to keep your eyes open and don't get conned. There are many penpals who simply enjoy having contact on the outside. But there are also those who try to work their penpals for money or favors. Establish boundaries and then stick to them!

Good luck!

R. Mc.

[TheAmazingMrsB]

There are a couple reasons. One is because you should want him to focus on getting to know you because of you and not your appearance... also they tend to share a lot. I would just get to know him a little better before sending one. Find out what he is looking for. I just believe in being cautious. Some of these guys are just playing games. They post penpal ads looking for someone to take care of them... some are honestly looking for friendship. I would find out which he is, first.

[BearsLadyBear]

Thanks Everyone..

[Osugirl]

I wouldn't send a picture right off the bat.
Tell him about yourself like things you like to do, music, tv shows, age, where your from but not the city, why you decided to write him.
Asks to ask him. Favorite music, what he likes to do, favorite books,!movies, tv shows, sports. I wouldn't ask about his crime.

[Kimimi]

He never asked to have one sent I had seen his pic....I sent a pic about two months after writing by then he said he didn't need one he liked me and nothing would change that. I wanted to make sure I had a connection with him first I've heard what can go on with pictures on the inside lol I needed to trust him first.

[JustBeingMe67]

I would NOT send a photo in the first letter, as you do not even know this person.

Start with letting them know why you chose to reach out, what you liked about their introduction, let him now if his values and morals are the same as yours. Just go off what he wrote and share about your life like he shared about his.

[Dobbie_Elf]

Hmm, as for sa picture, I would send one. They usually at least on w.a.p. have pictures so it only seems right to let them have a face to put with the words. Or,they may wonder WHY you chose not to send a picture. Get what I'm saying?. But that's just what I do when writing to a pen pal.

[Dobbie_Elf]

@Bearslady.. is this guy the same one you just broke up with that has the 2 girlfriends?. How sad of so, since you broke up with another mwi just before THIS person. Three mwi's in less than a year's time?.
1.http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/sho...d.php?t=694259

[TheAmazingMrsB]

Originally Posted by Dobbie_Elf

@Bearslady.. is this guy the same one you just broke up with that has the 2 girlfriends?. How sad of so, since you broke up with another mwi just before THIS person. Three mwi's in less than a year's time?.
1.http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/sho...d.php?t=694259

Enough of this. This is way off topic of this post, so let's stay on topic.

[BearsLadyBear]

Originally Posted by TheAmazingMrsB

Enough of this. This is way off topic of this post, so let's stay on topic.

You wonder why I PM'd you? Foolishness like this.