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Now That Your Loved One Is Home... Please share stories about your loved one now they are home.

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  #26  
Old 12-20-2016, 08:53 AM
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45 miles is not a bad thing but it seems So Cal has some pretty narly traffic. We do to but it depends on what time of day.
My hub lives about 20-30 min away, depending on traffic. Since Im not doing freeway driving....it tends to be on the long end. Most of the time he drives down here. (yeah, Im spoiled lol)

Glad things are going good.
Yeah, there's sort of a back way to her place from my office that's about 7 miles longer and involves driving through some foothills that can save 30-40 minutes at times. But at the same time I've been an Angelina my whole life so sitting around in traffic is nothing I am not used to...

Dee surprised me. I set a DMV appointment for her to get her ID. She wound up taking the driving test too. Failed it. But she has access to a car and she wants to minimize the amount of driving that myself and her parents have to do so she's anxious to get that freedom back.
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  #27  
Old 12-20-2016, 09:33 AM
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Yeah, a drive of nearly any length or amount of time should certainly be acceptable, considering what we've endured prior to her coming home! Had Randi Lynn been able to transfer to the Danbury women's camp, I would have gone every weekend to see her, if visitation been a possibility..Unfortunately, since I am MWI, and didn't know her before her incarceration, it was never a possibility according to Fed rules. I would have found the 1 3/4 hours drive perfectly fine, because, as we know, we'll go to extraordinary lengths to be with the one we love. In waiting for years to actually have her in the real world, a drive of some length isn't much of a problem...Reasserting her independence is something that dee must do, and her being able to drive herself here and there is a big deal. Part of returning to society, and functioning in it is a laudable goal, and will only reinforce her sense of "normal". Good for you both, and thanks so much for the updates!!
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  #28  
Old 12-20-2016, 11:02 AM
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Congratulations! I cried reading this and literally felt your emotions as you told your story...I'm so Happy and excited for you. Kudos to you for all of your patience and support. Truly inspirational for those of us trapped in this controlled world. I Can't wait until our day comes. Enjoy every moment you guys deserve it. A Very Merry Christmas for You!
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  #29  
Old 12-20-2016, 05:25 PM
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Yay!!! So happy for you! I'm glad things are going so well!
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  #30  
Old 12-20-2016, 05:44 PM
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I have been absolutely impressed at how she's thrown herself into things and really, in many ways, hit the ground running. At the same time, she's done so according to the RIGHT PRIORITIES. She's checked in with parole, they've checked the house, her ID is handled, her Social Security stuff is handled, she's signed up for mandatory substance abuse classes, and she gave a crack at the DMV driving test (written part,) and while she didn't pass the first time, I was impressed that she put herself up to that challenge this quickly (not to mention now that she knows what sorts of questions to expect she also has some idea about what she needs to study.)

It's very early in the game, but one thing that's been important to me is to see that she can establish herself without me having to direct her, guide her, or act as her voice. Of course, I'm right here if she needs me. But she's been doing all this on her own. On top of it, she's been greeted warmly by family and is very happy to be home. There's challenges to it and she feels like she needs to do certain things to build trust up....she takes ownership of how things were before and that there's a reason she needs to do those things....but she's rising to each and every one of them so far.

I know the bigger question is....how is she doing at 3 months? How about at 6? A year? We can't really get to those milestones until we get there. But to see her out and focused like this.....makes me very happy. I hope it continues, that she does well in those classes, and that she continues to show me that she can do what I've always known she's capable of doing (but that maybe others, including herself, weren't always so sure about.)
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  #31  
Old 12-20-2016, 06:55 PM
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Terrific stuff, and right on course. As long as you remain a critical "cog" in her re-emergence into the world. Your view relative to her needs is amazing, Were it me, I'd be much more interested in spending more time, but your situation, and her family, obviously take precedence. My view is undoubtedly colored by the fact that I've never met my MWI gal, but having her locked away for so long, would make me a bit "greedy" for her company. I applaud your patience and perspective!
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  #32  
Old 12-21-2016, 01:31 AM
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Nothing has ever come easy for Dee and me as a couple. In many ways, the last few days have been the best for us communication-wise that we've ever had. I can honestly say that while this will definitely not always be the case, Saturday was the best day we've had in the entire 6 1/2 years of our relationship. We finally got to just BE TOGETHER. No restriction. Even the year and a half we had before she got locked up there was always one thing or another hanging over our relationship. So to just be together.....that was amazing.

Don't get me wrong. I WANT MORE. LOL! But our time will come. If this is what I have to go through with her to have her for the next 40, 50, 60 years.....then this is a piece of cake after the last 5. More to the point, she's getting things accomplished on her own and showing everyone that she can handle freedom, and I'm proud of her.
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  #33  
Old 12-21-2016, 04:39 AM
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Without question, the ability for her to stand on her own two feet is important, and to really return to society requires quite a bit of time and effort. Between yourself and her family members, that is quite the resource network at this time. Being patient and supportive while not smothering her is obviously the best way for you two as a couple. Having followed your observations for quite a while, your approach is the way you intimated it would be when she got out, especially with the closeness and involvement of her family. It works best when you work together, and this must be what she is comfortable with as well. It works for you, and I appreciate your continuing to keep us abreast of how you're doing, since you were so willing to share so much prior to her freedom!
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  #34  
Old 12-22-2016, 07:14 AM
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You might mention that the CA dmv has practice tests online.
There are several of them, free to take.

Several yrs ago, I had my wallet stolen. My DL was in there. Since it was only a few months before I needed to renew mine, I opted to reup when I went to get the replacement. LOL
I had to take the written test. I too, flunked.
So I sat right there with the manuel, read it.
And retook it. Had I failed it again I would have had to drive up to the other dmv and try again or come back the next day.
Thank God I passed it the second time.

(on principle tho I did answer a question wrong. The question was.......when is it ok to park in a red zone. I forget all the possible answers but one was When you are a police/fire/ambulance.......I checked that one knowing its never allowed but I'd bet no one would tag it if it was)

Anyway.......Glad Dee is getting it done!
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  #35  
Old 12-22-2016, 12:26 PM
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You might mention that the CA dmv has practice tests online.
There are several of them, free to take.

Several yrs ago, I had my wallet stolen. My DL was in there. Since it was only a few months before I needed to renew mine, I opted to reup when I went to get the replacement. LOL
I had to take the written test. I too, flunked.
So I sat right there with the manuel, read it.
And retook it. Had I failed it again I would have had to drive up to the other dmv and try again or come back the next day.
Thank God I passed it the second time.

(on principle tho I did answer a question wrong. The question was.......when is it ok to park in a red zone. I forget all the possible answers but one was When you are a police/fire/ambulance.......I checked that one knowing its never allowed but I'd bet no one would tag it if it was)

Anyway.......Glad Dee is getting it done!
Ha ha! I didn't talk with her about it, thought she was just going to get an ID, but I did download an app when I was loading her phone that has access to those DMV practice tests you speak of. I said "babe, you did see the DMV app on your phone, right?" "Yeah." "You know there's practice tests and study guides on there, right?" "....there is?" "Yup! Now you'll be ready next time."

As for the Red Zone, when I'm Downtown and getting things for the business, I call that "E's Parking Spot." LOL!
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Old 12-24-2016, 08:24 AM
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lol! Good for her. Now she can practice with the tests.

as for the red zone?
If I am having a heart attack or my house is on fire, they had better park in the red zone!!!
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  #37  
Old 12-25-2016, 01:17 PM
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I had one of her mother's tamales last night.

If my mom cooked like that, I'd never ever ever want to ever go to prison ever.

Just saying.
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  #38  
Old 12-26-2016, 06:05 AM
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So, some updated thoughts.

First off, I'm incredibly proud of all that Dee has accomplished in her first week-plus. Especially given that she's had to figure out how to adjust her medications and her schedule to adjust to how things are out here. While she's tried to keep a schedule, admittedly, life out here is not nearly as controlled as life in there. So.....I'm just really proud of her. It hasn't been a flawlss transition...and that makes it all the more impressive.

Of course, as you might imagine, not everything is going quite according to plan as far as how she's reconnected with family and the outside world. I actually came up with general action plans for a few different scenarios, and one of them was what I call "fall back/support." What that basically means is that I don't force our relationship to be any more of a priority than she is capable of making it and the general focus of my role right now is...if she needs to vent, I let her vent. I pick up the phone when she calls. I go to her when she needs me to go to her.

People talk about "oh, when my LO gets out, we're going to do all these things!" But while I was hoping we were going to dive head-first into this great life together, I realistically knew that we were more likely going to encounter a situation that required us to dip our toes in and adjust to this "new normal" more slowly. Partly because of all the changes in Dee's life that have come about. Partly because I knew that adjusting back to being around her family, around her kids, all that, was going to take some time.

The kids...have been the most difficult. Her daughters are angry with her. Angry because she was gone so long. Angry because they think she stepped out on their dad (she didn't, but of course, he's been feeding them garbage for several years now to make himself look good......that's just who he is. I could say a lot more about him, but I'd like to try not to elevate my blood pressure this morning.) Her son, who's her youngest, has been much more accepting. The younger of her two daughters is starting to come around, but her eldest....and I've been saying for years that this was going to be the challenge....she's proving to be a tough egg to crack. And at least for the moment, there is absolutely nothing that I can do about it.

For years, one of Dee's sisters has been an incredible ally to me, and she's always said that when Dee comes home that she'd help things get smoothed over. But of course, she has her own family and her own set of in-laws and she's been out of state this entire first week and a half. Not at all blaming her for problems, of course! But where she has in the past been able to act as a mediator between Dee and her eldest, she can't right now. Another complicating factor. I have the feeling that once she's back home that she will be able to play a role and smooth out the interaction there (she has in the past,) but until that happens, in my opinion anyway, Dee and her eldest daughter are going to be at odds.

(Further, when it comes to that sister, I've backed off on communication. She knows she can reach me if she needs to, and I know I can contact her if I have a huge concern to address, but I feel like I have taken enough of her time, and I'm incredibly grateful to her for having been there these past few years to help me sort through what's what and help get Dee home. As I told Dee, she's home now, she can speak for herself. I don't need to unless she asks. As much as I want to help, I need to act in a way that empowers her to act for herself.)

A lot of people would probably scratch their heads, but right now I'm trying to put her first (well, when my kids aren't necessitating that I immediately make them a priority.....I haven't missed time with them because of her,) while encouraging her to put pretty much anything else first. I don't bug too much with phone calls and texts. I generally wait for her to make contact. The idea that I can actually return a call or text is kind of foreign to both of us, so I try not to call more than once a day. She has a difficult time sustaining phone conversation for more than 2 or 3 minutes.....which, given the last 6 months of our relationship involved phone calls around once a week, isn't surprising. If you're used to packing all of your phone conversations into 10-15 minutes, once a week, the idea of having a sustained phone conversation probably doesn't come easily. We of course do much better in person.....we always have. And when we are together...we talk, we listen to music, we have a bit of intimacy (but even there we've taken it slow, so honestly, I can't give you TMI details....because physically, there are 4th graders who's relationships are more inappropriate than ours right now.) When we kiss, it often ends up in this hard embrace. She puts her head into my chest and puts her arms around me and just holds me. That's where she is right now. I think....Dee isn't always the best at verbalizing things...which can be difficult, but we've just sort of learned how to understand each others' non-verbal communication (when the time is right I use that to ask questions and help her get out what she's trying to say, but right now, there's no words that need to be spoken so I'm not pushing it.) That said....I think that's her way of expressing that she's trying to find something solid in life right now, something solid in our relationship. I know her mind's all over the place. She talks to me about more things than she talks to anyone else about, and she'll tell me all that's on her mind...when she is ready. But right now....she's just looking for her foundation. And I guess maybe that's her way of saying.....as much as she loves her parents, as much as she wants to work on her relationship with her kids, as much a she wants this to feel normal.....that this is the one place and time where she feels like her foundation is solid. And that's why, all things considered, I am taking it slow and letting her set the pace.

If the first week has taught me anything, it's this.
-She is as strong as I believed she could be.
-She feels as weak as I knew she might.

Patience. It's not just for prison sentences anymore.

Thanks guys. Hope that this will help someone else who maybe is going through the same process I am going through right now.
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Last edited by missingdee; 12-26-2016 at 06:11 AM..
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  #39  
Old 12-31-2016, 03:24 PM
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She's slowly but surely starting to feel like the free world is "real" to her. It's odd to see the quirks she has in trying to adapt, but she gets up every day and gets done what needs to get done. Not everything is perfect but I told her I was proud of her. We share moments. Laughs. Whatever time we have.

I am so disgustingly in love with this woman. It'd probably be cute if it wasn't me. LOL! We still have a long way to go and we're taking our time but I am hopeful......
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Old 12-31-2016, 03:50 PM
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I hope you both a very happy new year together. The patient and caring way you are supporting Dee has I am sure inspired many others. Take it slow and build solid foundations always the best way forward.
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Old 01-13-2017, 05:28 PM
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Coming up on 4 weeks since release now....wow, in some ways, feels a lot longer than that (and in a way, that's good.)
-Dee enjoys soundtracks. Country music is not allowed in my car. (That's for in case Dee comes around here hoping to plead her case for country music.)
-Dee does not like social media. She likes Snapchat, but she doesn't like to send snap chats....only to take pictures with the filters and save them to her phone.
-Parole sucks. Only 2 years, 11 months, 3 days to go (unless they let her go after 2 years, but with our luck...)
-Dee likes JibJab and iMessages. She can't figure out how to play 8 ball pool.
-Dee and I are looking to get into a local support group for people with depression and bipolar disorder.
-Lots of family time. Keeping away from bad influences. Checks in with me regularly.
-Her wardrobe is building back up, but it'll take some time for her to have it the way she likes it.
-I have learned that if I buy her makeup, one of her daughters will probably lay claim to it within a week.
-She likes expensive shoes. I need to get a better-paying job. Just for shoes.
-While there are still a few things to get sorted out with the family and her medications and so forth, overall she is doing very well and I am very proud of her.
-I am still disgustingly in love.

Figured people might want a little update. Almost a full month down.
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Old 02-19-2017, 01:11 PM
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2 months she's been home.

She's done a lot of reconnecting with family. That's been good. She's in especially good moods after she's seen her sister and her nieces. She saw her grandmother for the first time in 10 years.

She battles at times with depression....I think she needs more access to a psychiatrist and some med adjustments. The time of year doesn't help. The rain doesn't help. The fact that she's dealing with freedom and sobriety and trying to figure out how to cope with each while coping with the depression minus the structure and/or access to drugs is good long-run, but not easy right now since it's the first time in probably about 10 years that she's dealt with life's struggles without a substance, and the first in 5 that she has done so without the prison structure.

We had a nice dinner on Valentine's Day.

I find myself wishing there were more I could do for her. I see her get frustrated with the adjustment at times. Re-bonding with her kids has been a challenge at times. And the sister she doesn't get along with....it's still awkward.

Still, I have faith that we will get through this a day at a time. I love her to pieces. The best days are still ahead of us...

Hope everyone else's journeys are going well.

-E
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Old 03-13-2017, 08:37 PM
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I am very happy for you! I hope it's going well.
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Old 03-13-2017, 10:47 PM
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Read your op.... made me cry. Very happy she's doing well and you two are doing well too. That you both made it through this and get to work on a life together after prison.
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Old 03-20-2017, 02:47 PM
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Originally Posted by trustingGOD001 View Post
I am very happy for you! I hope it's going well.


Thanks. We have our ups and downs but overall it's going well. The most important part is that she is in a good state of mind and mostly focused on doing the right things (and when she isn't, it's because she decides she can't handle reality and she hides out in her room watching movies....I will take that over drug use and criminal activity any day of the week.)

-E
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Old 03-20-2017, 02:49 PM
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Originally Posted by Silenus View Post
Read your op.... made me cry. Very happy she's doing well and you two are doing well too. That you both made it through this and get to work on a life together after prison.


Thank you. Continuing to have high hopes. She is doing well and gaining energy and right now that is most important. We have a formal event to attend Friday night...that might be a bit of a challenge for her but we're looking forward to it. If nothing else, it's GOOD free food LOL!
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Old 03-23-2017, 09:02 PM
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It's nice to read these positive posts about homecomings! Mine is coming home in May after being incarcerated for 12 years. I keep reading posts in "when the relationship is over" lol and I have to pull myself away and find something more positive. It's also nice to hear about the difficulties others go through, because I know it won't be easy, but nice to know there are some success stories.
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Old 05-28-2017, 09:10 PM
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Where do I even begin.....

I arrived at CCWF to pick her up around 7:15 a.m. Apparently they have a pretty strict "no one on grounds before 8 a.m." policy so I went into town, had a quick cheap breakfast, and came back at 8:05. They confirmed me at the gate, then I went into the visiting center to check in a second time and give my information. And there it was. The paperwork with the confirmation. "Custody Status: Paroled" I verified all my information and was told to wait in my car and that they'd bring her to me at the end of process.

Ever since we got this date, I've worried that something would happen to take it away from us. I've guarded against the things I've had control over and hoped that the things I don't have control over would all break our way. I wasn't able to relax all that much until 2 days before when I was able to confirm that one thing I did have concern about that could push the date back yet again was, in fact, not going to happen.

But getting back into the car and being told "we'll bring her out to you as soon as she's done processing," getting in, closing the door, sitting there...it hit me like a ton of bricks. I sat there absolutely bawling for about 15 minutes, and I'm not normally one to cry....it was as if 5+ years of anxiety, frustration, all the b.s. that CDCR put us through.....like I could finally release it in those final moments with myself. Forget her freedom for a moment because we still had about another hour or so before that was all official....at that moment, I gained my own. The "invisble handcuffs" that so many of us wear when our loved one is down, the mental shackles......they came off in that moment and everything flooded out of me.

Then the moment. It was taking a while and I asked the folks at the Friends Outside kiosk if they knew how much longer it might be. They said they didn't know and explained the way I'd know is that a large van, escorted by a second vehicle, usually a truck, would come out of the far gate...and just as they were saying it, we saw the van, followed by the truck. With that I went outside, saw it pulling closer, then around a corner. The lady smiled and said "they have to take the road up to the front, then to the parking lot here. Get to the car, they'll be there in a minute!" And less than a minute later the prison van, followed by a truck (I don't know why they do it that way, security purposes of some sort apparently) was pulling up behind my car. The officer got out of the front, walked around to the back, pulled the door open....and there she was. In the parole outfit I picked out at WalMart about a month before, fitting remarkably even better than I could have hoped (slightly loose, comfortable, the way parole clothing should in my opinion,) a huge smile on her face. Quickly to the back of the car with a large bag, she opens the door and says "I never had enough postage to send everything home, so I'm bringing home a lot more than I thought." She set it down, shut that door, then into the passenger seat, quickly turned to say "thank you" to the officer who dropped her off, and then she was in the car, her arms around me, her lips on mine.....I don't know if there's a way that first free kiss is supposed to happen, but it felt pretty amazing. After about 15 seconds we realized the officers were kind of looking at us and I laughed and said "I think it's time to go babe." So we gave a quick wave, I started the car up, waited for the van and the truck to clear, and off we went. Out the front gate. Down the road.

The first thing she wanted to do once we got off grounds was call her mom. "Can I borrow your phone babe?" I told her "I can do one better," reached into my pocket and said "it's nothing too fancy, but I figured, until we figure out what we're going to do for your phone, this will work. 30 days of Straight Talk service." She was excited. She fiddled with it for about a minute, said "this is a bit different than I remember" (she had an Android phone while she was released, and sometimes contraband phones would circulate, but she hadn't used one in quite some time) but finally figured out how to get into the part where she could dial. Made the connection. In Spanish, she essentially said "hey, mom, it's me." "Mija???" "Si, mommy....I'm out." All sorts of excitement from there. "Babe, how long until we're home?" "Well, if we stop for food, let's say 5, 5 1/2 hours?" (We actually made it in just under 5.)

Interesting to note....I spent the night before in town and ran a couple of errands and I noted a Sonic drive-in restaurant and said "I'll bet Dee's never been to a Sonic, maybe we'll go there to eat tomorrow." So of course, as soon as she gets off the phone she says to me "Babe, I'm f---ing starving." So I said "okay, I know a few places, but is there anywhere in particular you think you might want to go?" And she says "well, I keep seeing commercials for this one place and it looks really cool and I want to try it, have you ever heard of Sonic?" I laughed and told her about the day before and I said "it's 3 exits down the highway. Is that where you want to go?" She was all excited. "Yes! Let's go!"

We ate these Bacon Burgers on the Texas Toast. She had a frozen lemonade with coconut...she said "I know that makes no sense but I want to try all sorts of new things." Believe it or not, lemonade with coconut was really good. She also had this thing called a "Blast" (if you aren't familiar with Sonic you probably are familiar with the McDonalds McFlurry....very similar item....) with Snickers candy bar chopped up and mixed in. We made out like a couple high schoolers waiting for our food to come. I'm pretty sure the people parked two stalls down were going "WTF? What's with this couple making out in their car at 11 in the morning?" She insisted on using some of her gate money to buy lunch (especially since she had asked me to send one of the girls on the unit some money when she found out the girls had all put in their canteen to throw a party...she felt bad, so she wanted to pay them back and asked if I could do it and she'd pay me back when she got to the gate...I told her "just buy me a meal when you get out and we'll call it a fair trade," but I wasn't expecting to hold her to that...she insisted though.)

The drive home....in a way I think it was perfect. Sometimes we talked. Sometimes we sat in silence and she just watched the road and the scenary pass. At one point she laughed and she said "I'm sorry, I keep getting quiet...I'm just taking this in. It doesn't feel real yet...like I'm watching a movie. I know this sounds crazy but it hasn't dawned on me that I don't have to go back tonight...I mean, I know I'm not but that part of my mind that's used to being there keeps thinking that I have to be back for 8 o'clock count." Conversation was light.

We got to her parents' house and her dad came out and they embraced. Then he helped get her stuff out of the car. This was my time to go on my way...her kids were at the house and it's not quite time for them to know about me yet. That time will come, of course, but not quite yet......after they were done, her dad made a point to come around to my side of the car. He put his arms around me, grabbed me in one of those bear hugs that only a dad can, and said "thank you....thank you for everything.....thank you."

For the next few hours I just looked to try to occupy my time. Around 6 she called me and said "the kids just left....want to come over for some pozole and to show me how to watch movies on my Firestick?"

So that's what we did. We sat around the table talking in a combination of English and Spanish (my Spanish is terrible and her mother's English is terrible but we both know just enough of the other language to sort of follow along) and ate what might, in fact, be the best pozole in the world (I am not saying this just to be polite, it really was that good.) Then we went back to her room and she laughed a bit...out of respect for her parents, she kept the door open and we kept physical contact PG. We watched "Suicide Squad" She took her meds and one of them tends to make her sleepy so around 9:30 she told me she was ready for bed. While her father has insisted to both of us that I am more than welcome to come any time and that I can spend the night in their home, she's wanting to show respect for the house, at least until her parents get to know me better...she knows her dad means what he says but she'd prefer to show him respect and make sure he's really comfortable with the idea first...so I drove back home.

All in all, I think it was a pretty good first day. We're taking it slow....partly because she's re-adapting and I feel like she needs to have freedom to have her own space and to not feel like she needs to be with me 24/7 right now, partly because a lot of her family is coming by to see her and while her parents know about me and one of her sisters know about me they obviously don't ALL know about me and we figure it'd be good to wait a bit before she starts introducing me....again, let everyone re-bond with her, let her have the attention, don't make me the focus.....I shouldn't be right now. She should be the focus.

I am happy. I am relieved. I am excited to see where this all goes from here. She'll be spending a lot of time with family tonight, reporting to parole and running a few errands during the day tomorrow (her mom is going to take her around town, meanwhile I'll be right back to work.) We'll take a little trip out of town in a few weeks to celebrate freedom (at a time when it's not quite so fresh and she isn't thinking about 8 o'clock count and 9 o'clock lights out.)

And from there....well, that book's yet to be written. But we're hoping for amazing.
I actually teared up reading this
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Old 07-03-2017, 11:55 PM
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Default The Six (and a half) month update

6-plus months out...I'd say Dee is still working on turning this into a "success story" but the progress, while a bit slower than I think either of us would necessarily like for a variety of reasons, is steady and positive.

Her mental health has been good. She has stayed sober (well, she has some booze now and then, but not to excess and only drinks socially, but alcohol has never really been an issue for her.) She's stayed away from the people and places that used to get her in trouble. Her focus has been on her kids and her family, and of course we get plenty of time together. She's looking into doing medical coding and billing...preferably something where she can work at least some of the time at home so she can dedicate time to her parents and to helping her sisters with their kids as well as spending time with her own when she's able to and have flexibility. Her mom is teaching her how to cook all sorts of different meals, apparently so she can cook for me when we get married. (I laughed and said "I've cooked for you a few times before, you're yet to cook for me so I'll believe it when I see it.)

We've just had a pretty major milestone...she met my kids. It was a success. She also met several members of my family. She feels good to be accepted. I've met a good chunk of her family but still have a ways to go....I am yet to meet her kids. It's complicated. But I'm hoping that will change in the coming months. I really want an opportunity to get to know them, for them to get to know me, and because I know a big part of their concern and what has kind of contributed to the complication is that they want their time with their mother and because of who she used to hang around they are cautious about anyone she might bring around....it needs to happen on its own time, and the first priority has to be her strengthening her bonds with them.

Overall, while I wish we were a little further along in some elements of our relationship and a few other areas of our lives both personal and professional.....I am pleased with how things are going.

And most importantly....we are happy. And with that foundation, I truly believe everything else will come.

-E
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Old 07-04-2017, 01:09 AM
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Thank you for these words and updates. It is so wonderfull to Read! Wish you two all the best!!
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