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When the Relationship is Over... This forum is about discussing your thoughts, feelings and issues now that you and your incarcerated (or formerly incarcerated) loved one are no longer together. (This forum is NOT for bashing - please read the rules before posting.)

View Poll Results: When did the relationship begin.
Met while incarcerated 146 38.73%
Met before incarceration. 231 61.27%
Voters: 377. You may not vote on this poll

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  #26  
Old 01-17-2008, 12:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by outinaussie
we were together as a "couple" for 11 months... until i found out that i was only 1 in his harem..........
im curious...how did you find that out?? did you check him out or were there red flags up?
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  #27  
Old 01-19-2008, 06:12 AM
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We were together for 13 yrs until it ended last year. It was looming for a while and I don't think either of us wanted it to happen but situations took control and it was the right thing to do for both of us. Sometimes I feel I'm doing fine and all seems well with me, other times I still feel incredible pain and confusion. The pain and confusion times are becoming less but oh boy, don't they half cut you in half sometimes.
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  #28  
Old 01-23-2008, 04:51 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pizzagirl
im curious...how did you find that out?? did you check him out or were there red flags up?
no red flags at all.. it all seemed too good to be true hey. & sadly it was..
he probably figured i was all the way out here & wouldnt have a clue what was going on up there???? he obviously didnt think id become as close as i did with some pto girls here that seen him in visits...
he ended up coldly telling me in a letter when he figured he was getting busted anyway...
it went from i adore you..want you forever letters to this cold ass letter spilling his guts out coz i was gonna find out anyway..
i was ( and still am ) in disbelief & stuff
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  #29  
Old 02-12-2008, 12:17 PM
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im waiting for a letter that i think is going to end it, im so upset and i havent even got the bad news yet.
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  #30  
Old 02-17-2008, 12:12 AM
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Sad to say, I feel like my relationship is getting ready to end. It has been going on for a while, now...slowly dying and and our relatinship drifting apart. I have been unhappy for a long time. He is just so harsh and is always trying to tell me, how "He" thinks that I should live, act, handle situations, etc...the last straw was when he got mad at me, for the smallest of reasons, then asked me..."who's more important, me or your children?" Supposedly, he did not mean it, but as far as I am concerned, that is a "deal breaker." I did not write or see him for a month. Then, my son talked me into going to visit, and he acted like a complete a-hole! He wasnt even wearing his wedding band, he kept staring at some girl and ignoring me. He is the one that started all of this, but even after a month, he was still acting like a "true" jerk! I winded up having to be the cival, one, (especially since my son was with me). My question is...How do I end it? I knew him, before he got locked up, but he is not the same man. We have known eachother for over 24 years and have been married for 3 of those years(mwi).
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  #31  
Old 02-17-2008, 10:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LonelyGirl01
We have known eachother for over 24 years and have been married for 3 of those years(mwi).
Uh, I'm confused...You knew him for 24 years, that makes you mbi, not mwi...or do you mean married while incarcerated??

And yes, sorry to say but if he thinks he's more important than your kids, in my opinion, he's gotta go. buh bye.
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  #32  
Old 02-18-2008, 12:49 AM
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Women dont forget these men need money orders, visits, phone calls, an address to be paroled to.. Lets put the coming home fantasy to sleep and start thinking with our heads. If you didnt have a relationship when he was free you definitely wont have one when he regains his freedom.. Men prey on the needy, it's all about survival..
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  #33  
Old 02-18-2008, 01:02 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lexie70
If you didnt have a relationship when he was free you definitely wont have one when he regains his freedom.. Men prey on the needy, it's all about survival..
Wow... that's a little bit of an overstatement don't you think? Are you talking about ALL men? Men in general? Men in prison? Do they magically change into bad men who prey on the weak when in prison? If that's true.... then what is there to stop them from preying on the "needy" who also knew them before prison?

p.s. I also find your statement kind of funny considering the outcome of this particular survey :P
(not saying the survey is accurate... just thought it was funny )
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  #34  
Old 02-18-2008, 01:27 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lexie70
Women dont forget these men need money orders, visits, phone calls, an address to be paroled to.. Lets put the coming home fantasy to sleep and start thinking with our heads. If you didnt have a relationship when he was free you definitely wont have one when he regains his freedom.. Men prey on the needy, it's all about survival..
So women in these relationships are 'needy' ?
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  #35  
Old 02-21-2008, 12:22 AM
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Thank God it is over!!! We were together 2 years before he was sentenced.. Things were okay before he went in.. But, after he went in (40 and his first time in prison) OMG!! No, I couldn't handle it.. He turned into a completely different person - in a bad way.. And, I had to end it.
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  #36  
Old 06-04-2008, 04:08 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rox73 View Post
Wow... that's a little bit of an overstatement don't you think? Are you talking about ALL men? Men in general? Men in prison? Do they magically change into bad men who prey on the weak when in prison? If that's true.... then what is there to stop them from preying on the "needy" who also knew them before prison?

p.s. I also find your statement kind of funny considering the outcome of this particular survey :P
(not saying the survey is accurate... just thought it was funny )
I think what she was trying to say was a lot of guys might be with someone out of necessity in prison whereas outside they might not be with THAT PARTICUILAR person.Thats how i read the post.
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  #37  
Old 06-25-2008, 08:05 PM
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So, I am an MWI, and I broke up with Bobby 3 days ago....well it was by letter, so he just got it today. I thought about driving down to see him face to face but it is a 4 hour drive and with gas prices I just couldn't do it.
I don't even want to go into the details cause it still hurts pretty bad. I know I will get thru this though, I really hope he doesn't respond cause it makes it harder when I get his letters. Today I got one that he wrote Sunday not knowing what was coming to him.
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  #38  
Old 06-30-2008, 07:01 PM
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sorry to be so out of the loop but whats an MWI?
my husband was caught cheating on me in jan of o7, HE filed for divorce in august of 07,went in oct of 07,
we have 2 young kids. he left me with so much debt.
I still write to him, mainly custodial stuff about kids, but he doesnt write me, writes and calls kids, not me.
It stings to no end.
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  #39  
Old 06-30-2008, 10:49 PM
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MWI = Met While Incarcerated
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  #40  
Old 07-02-2008, 03:40 AM
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after 2 years ,and after getting married in december , my husband turned into another person , with nothing but insercuries , every week he was analizing every conversation , every picture and i was fed up with his jealousy , i am a 47 year old woman , i dont have time for this crap in my life , i guess he thought when we got married that i was suppose to stop doing my life , sorry to say i have file for a divorce , because its clear as day that he doesnt know a woman when he sees one , i do wish him well, sorry my love , u managed to ruin what could have been a wonderful life together .
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  #41  
Old 07-06-2008, 09:06 PM
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After two years of doing for him, well this was it for me...I couldn't keep going on day after day of not knowing when I was going to hear from him, when I was going to get a letter, then when I think I'm over him, he would call....he hasn't called for almost a month again, but this time I got word from another (including his mom) that he has someone else....which is fine, just was hoping that he was going to be man enough to say good-bye...I'm fine though...sad, but true...I am sooo busy with work, with life, my kids, that I don't have the time to stop and actually dwell on the situation....I miss him, well our conversations, but I won't miss the sending of money, cards, money for phone calls....good-bye my love....will miss you always....but it's time for me to let go....FOREVER!!
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  #42  
Old 07-06-2008, 11:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by June6163 View Post
sorry to be so out of the loop but whats an MWI?
my husband was caught cheating on me in jan of o7, HE filed for divorce in august of 07,went in oct of 07,
we have 2 young kids. he left me with so much debt.
I still write to him, mainly custodial stuff about kids, but he doesnt write me, writes and calls kids, not me.
It stings to no end.
I know the kids are not paying for those phone calls! That is very good of you to do, when he doesn't even write back about the kids.
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  #43  
Old 07-06-2008, 11:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lexie70 View Post
Women dont forget these men need money orders, visits, phone calls, an address to be paroled to.. Lets put the coming home fantasy to sleep and start thinking with our heads. If you didnt have a relationship when he was free you definitely wont have one when he regains his freedom.. Men prey on the needy, it's all about survival..
There are couples who make it through prison and build a solid relationship when he's out. I have talked to some of them.

The biggest "goody" in life is love. That's what we really crave. True love.
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  #44  
Old 07-07-2008, 06:34 AM
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I know the kids are not paying for those phone calls! That is very good of you to do, when he doesn't even write back about the kids.
I guess its the wife, mother, woman in me. I just feel he is their dad, he left me not them,but its damn hard to rise above the disrespect to me, the disregard for all I do and the blatant irregard for my welfare raising these kids alone. Sometimes I find it doesn't pay to be nice!
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  #45  
Old 07-08-2008, 02:26 PM
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Baby Blue,
I am so sorry that your relationship ended. I am not in an MWI relationship, but I know it must be challenging and painful to stick by them through it all, and then to have it end after they get out must be devastating. I wish you nothing but the best and the true love a special lady like you deserves.
*hugs*
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  #46  
Old 08-13-2008, 05:52 AM
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Well, we split a few weeks ago. I couldn't take his insecurities about me cheating all the time...

Now we are "talking."
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  #47  
Old 01-16-2010, 01:56 AM
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I was a MWI...I was with David for 3 years. It was the best thing to happen to both of us and we grew a lot ..I feel guilty about leaving him but Im happy..
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  #48  
Old 03-29-2010, 01:08 AM
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Quote:
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I was a MWI...I was with David for 3 years. It was the best thing to happen to both of us and we grew a lot ..I feel guilty about leaving him but Im happy..


Did he ever write you after you broke up?
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  #49  
Old 03-30-2010, 10:02 AM
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Our relationship began while he was in and after 13 years of him being in and out, I divorced him 6 months after his last release.

I find it interesting that MBI (not all) women look at MWI women like they have their heads screwed on backwards because in their minds our relationships are destined to fail yet, look at the poll -- who's relationships by A LARGE MARGIN are failing -- THE MBI. Could be because if your man or HUSBAND is going to prison on you, that could be a red flag right there that their (MBI) relationships are not as cracked up as the women think they are. So, enough already with the redflag talk because apparently, redflags are pointless and useless!!
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  #50  
Old 03-31-2010, 05:29 PM
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You no its over when he calls his mommy for the money to pay his bills.
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