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  #1  
Old 09-29-2003, 01:57 PM
InDecision InDecision is offline
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Default Domestic Violence, FALSE ACCUSATIONS

POSSIBLE LEGAL HELP TO OFFER to men arrested for domestic violence, and those who care for them.

So far I haven't found much and what there is isn't encouraging. But when I was younger I also used the 9-11 trump card when I didn't feel I was in real physical danger, twice. It's been happening since they invented the telephone, but the outcome is changed.

As a start to this thread, I'd just like to share a little of what I've read on the law in Colorado. I can give the url to this site, and may post info directly from it in the future. I'll also keep looking and sharing what I find.

in the State of Colorado.

1. The "victim" is not allowed to recant or retract her statement, EVER. If she refuses to testify she will be charged with so many crimes that even the worst coward will get up on the stand and tell her lies.

2. The DA is NOT allowed to drop charges or plea bargain.

3. READ THE RESTRAINING ORDER WITH A MAGNIFYING GLASS, ask 10 lawyers, and lock yourself in a padded room. You can violate one before getting out of bed before you aren't careful. And this charge does not entitle you to a jury trial, simply a hearing before a magistrate. The charge does not have to be proven 'beyond a reasonable doubt;' the magistrate will only require a 'preponderance of the evidence' to put him back in jail. This is a much lower legal standard than 'reasonable doubt.'



Personal Note: i have no intention of debating the subject of DV. this seems to be the one "unforgiveable sin" even here on PTO, but false accusations DO HAPPEN and an innocent man CAN be convicted of a very vicious crime. please do not use this thread for putting down 'abusers,' or me.

anyone who has more info to add, PLEASE DO!!!

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Old 09-29-2003, 02:28 PM
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uh, let me clarify that....

both times, i called the cops after he hit me, but it was more from anger than fear. i've never used the justice industry as my personal payback machine, though!

the "victim" in our case actually thought she could blackmail a 'one night stand' into marrying her, by dropping the charges. my Captain is the real victim here, and there surely are many men out there who have had a similar experience.
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Old 11-05-2003, 09:07 PM
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So sorry that you have gone thru false allegations chaos!!I have been researching it since my own problem with false allegation and found that a study has been done that shows a very high percentage of men get convicted on just an allegation. It is used in divorce cases ,custody cases and retribution cases. Once the allegations are out there lives are ruined and about all that can be done is to tough it out. Sometimes the law finds out it was false,they fine the accuser $50 and put them on probation for a year The most I ever saw anyone get was 5 years BUT they can be sued for every dime they have ,everything they own ,and everything they may earn someday.
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Old 11-07-2003, 05:13 PM
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Abuse of Domestic Violence laws happens all over the country, unfortunently it will hurt the real victims the more the false claims happen.
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Old 11-07-2003, 05:38 PM
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Edit, sorry
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Old 11-28-2003, 01:13 AM
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In North Carolina, here is basically all that I know:

You can only get a restraining order against someone you have slept with, unless it is a domestic violence case in which case, you are a couple now anyways right? Or rather, maybe not since what IS defined as DV and just plain old assault?

Whoever makes the call for help has all the say, even if it the person doing the abusing.( this happened to a friend of mine.. her husband beat her up and then called the cops on her saying she was attacking him... she went to jail for it)

It does not have to be the person who is being attacked or abused to make the call. I didn't call, someone else did, but all the same, he was taken to holding and, well, I went to the hospital the next day. He did hit me though and when asked I told the truth so maybe thats why. Had I lied and said no maybe he wouldn't have been taken... I don't know.

In this state, DV is a misdemeanor unless the person attacked goes to the hospital as a result and then it becomes a felony. I was TOLD this so I am no 100% sure. (I went the next day so it didn't count thank god)

You will do more time in this state for hurting a cat rather than a woman... and only like 2 months for hurting a woman.

The state presses charges against the accused FOR the victim for their protection mainly I guess and like you said... so they can't turn around and drop charges.

No one can drop charges not even the DA until the day of court.

The witness/victim is supeoned to the court date but only has to testify if the accused pleads not guitly. I don't know what happens if the victim doesnt WANT to tesitfy. Probably contempt of court I imagine. There was of course a report being made at the time of the call, or rather when the officer gets there. Of course, I don't know how much of it holds or how much depends on testimony but I imagine any 'rememberings' or whatnot towards NOT being helpful would be seen as contempt of court.

When DV is in the picture, the accused goes to a holding cell in jail for 48 hours. (the whole weekend if it occurs on friday) They then must wait until that time is up before seeing the magistrate for bail hearing and court date. There is no way out even then.

A temporary restraining order is then put in place to 'protect' the victim/witness.

If the victim/witness wishes to get a seperate restraining order, the papers are filed and served and a court date given. On that day, it is decided whether or not one will be put in place. Both parties have the right to tell the side of the story if so desired.

It is possible to be served papers for anything in jail if they are from that county.

I tihnk that is about all of my knowledge and it was well, sadly learned first hand. I know a few other 'fun' laws but they dont pertain to here. I do have a question and I am honestly only trying to learn more not be a wench or anything. I know false things happen... I watched a now ex friend of mine go thru it. That being the reason for EX. Its bad enough when this stuff happens, but to make it up? Are their pathetic lives really so boring they have to screw someone elses up!?!? Sorry.. but liars irritate me. Anywho, what IS considered DV? Where is that line drawn? Is it simply the people involved and not location? Like bf/gf but at a club or does it have to be at home? Or is it any female/male assault situation? Should it really be considered as DV if in fact it only happens once? Anywho, don't know if my 'knowledge' was helpful since it has blanks in it but I hope it helps or er... something. Like I said, this wasnt learned from books, it was what I had to go thru so sorry if it is wrong or incomplete. I know it sucks and doesnt help out those who are innocent of the accusation but maybe it will help to at least know what might be coming? Thanks!

~Lost~

PS. I agree that unfortunatly because there are loosers with no life who lie, the wrongly accused and people who ARE in need often get jipped in the process. And OH I am not trying to be hateful if anything I have said so far comes out that way. Sorry!!!!!

Last edited by LostinNC; 11-28-2003 at 01:38 AM..
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Old 09-11-2004, 10:00 AM
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Anyone Out There That Dv Has Happened The Other Way Around? I Mean That The Man/husband Was Abused By The Wife/woman? It Does Happen! I Promise. My Brother Lived In It For Years Being Hit And Thrown Through Walls, Etc. He Never Raised A Hand To Her During Those Years Of Abuse To Him. I Need To Find Someone That Knows What He Went Through And Try To Help Him Now.
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Old 09-11-2004, 11:24 AM
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Unfortunately there are people out their who lie about DV. My Sweetie's ex wife (when they were together) would call the law on him for DV when he didn't do anything to her. They would argue...he would threaten to leave...she didn't want him to...so she called the law on him for DV--(at least if he was out of the house, she would know where he was). They came, took her "false" statement, and she didn't have a mark on her...They took him anyway...

The charges were dropped because she never went to court. Now, down the line, when it came to doing his PSI, all these false accusations were held against him too. That helped him get the time he's doing now. BTW, she was the one who snitched him out when HE was 2 hours late getting home. Now he's spending 65 months in prison...so who is the 'victim' in THIS situation?
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Old 09-21-2004, 03:35 AM
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I was told that if I dropped charges or refused to testify that I would be charged. I had no problem being there. I think that some people do falsely accuse, but it can backfire on them. Domesitc Violence is no joke, and false accusations can hurt someone for the rest of their life. In Ohio, in some occupations, this can preclude you from working at your trade. I knew a girl who was mad because her boyfriend was going to leave her. She accused him of hitting her and they put a warrant out on him. Before the police could pick him up, her brother shot him, resulting in the loss of his leg. When he was in the hospital she was there until the police charged her with filing a false report. She wanted to be by the bedside of the man that hurt her so bad? Now a 23 year old man has lost his leg and can't be fitted for a prosthesis because of the muscle damage.
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Old 09-21-2004, 07:03 AM
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We are also the victims of a false report, and now because of it, my husband is serving 15 years in TDCJ. It didn't matter that the "victim" sat in the police station and LIED about him, saying she barely knew him, even though they'd had a 10 year off-again,on-again relationship. His crappy attorney didn't suponea (spelling, sorry!) his witnesses that could testify to that. It didn't matter that he LIVED with her for almost a year...she was mad because he told her he didn't want to marry her.
False allegations can ruin so many lives..not only the person accused, but his family, and innocent children. We weren't together when all this happened, but it still angers me.

Nancy
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Old 09-28-2004, 08:24 PM
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yes this is controversial because I think the majority of us would never want to harm someone but I believe false accusations do happen, we all know vindictiveness is not uncommon, especially when a relationship isn't working out, it seems that is reason enough for some to justify getting even. What upsets me is that anyone anywhere can do this to another and the consequences to the individual are life long and sometimes there is no way to prove your innocence.
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Old 11-27-2004, 09:34 PM
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Default false acusations

of course it happens. now dont laugh,,it happened to me. in fact,when i was locked up and almost out,she brought new charges of violating the restraining order as well as raping my step daughter of 8YO. hloy crap this was even low for her. i did the rest of the skid bid,paid bail,and waited for trial. man the DA musta made me an offer once a week.

((as an aside,i hate plea bargans.if the person did it,then why let em out early?? if they didnt,why use scare tactics to "force" a guilty plea? either way it dont seem like the folks on the outside are any safer.))

i was told id get 15years if i was found guilty(trial) of the rape,but they be good to me and let me have 18months if i plead to it. well after the first 6months out on bail and talking to my lawyer,i told him that even though he "has" to make their offers known to me,i will never take the plea.

went to trial,she flipped out on the stand,my step daughter kept saying inconsistant things,and after 1.5 days,at noon,the jury broke for lunch/began deliberating. they were back in 20 mins,and decided i was NG on all counts,i went fishing with a friend.

ok,thats my story.i am well aware of the lies that get you into court,and jail. i was so happy this time it didnt work.

PS: you ever hear about "all the guys in jail/prison are innocent"? that is so much BS. ive done a handfull of small bids,and i dont think i can remember 2 times i heard that said. i think that myth was made up by someone who obviously was never inside.

peace,
R
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Old 01-20-2005, 08:23 AM
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Violence against ANYONE is heinous. Violence in intimate relationships isn't gonna go away until our society changes, grows up, and gets away from "might makes right," "sex is evil," and "nice guys finish last," etc. People who commit assault need to be held accountable. Likewise people who lie and try to use the law as an instrument of revenge or control.
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Old 01-20-2005, 08:41 AM
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It is sad and sorry you have to go through this! I was a victim of domestic violence and they dropped my case, he got away scott free! I had busted lips, broken teeth, black eyes, etc. I don't understand the justice system and NEVER WILL!
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Old 05-24-2005, 09:17 PM
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Just ran into this forum today while trying to search and research information on a restraining order case. Glad it's here, now to see if I can get some help.

I don't know how much of the past info is needed to get help, but I got into an argument with my wife, I called the police on her, the police came and nothing was solved and nothing happened. The police left. The short version is that my wife slapped my glasses off my face (I can barely see without them) because she wanted me to give her a insurance check that was both of our names and I refused. After the officer left, my wife FINALLY gave me my glasses by throwing them at me and I left the house, for the entire weekend. This happened on a Thursday 3:30 in the morning. I returned home on Monday afternoon, she was at work. I went to work and went about my life. Late that night she returned home and immediately starting asking me about the check. She slapped me again and I told her if she didn't stop I would call the police....she left the room. I was sitting at the computer minding my business, and suddenly heard a knock at the door and 2 sheriffs showed up in my room. Told me that if I said ONE WORD I would be taken to jail. They read a restraining order to me and told me to get up and follow them outside. I did that. As a part of the order, I was forced to turn over AND sign the insurance check. I left the home with nothing and had no where to go. I returned to the home about 3 hours later asking my wife to please allow me to get my toothbrush and some clothes for work. She acted as if nothing had happened, told me to stop being silly and to come in or she won't get any sleep.

Two days passed by and she was chatting with me and talking as if nothing happened. I called an attorney about this and was told to ask that she go to the judge and drop the charges. I called her on her cellphone and made the request, she once again went ballistic and told me that she could call the police on me at any moment and that she was not doing ANYTHING!!

Long story short, I left the house. Took a few clothes and a few items and went to sleep on my friends sofa. This was again just a few days before I had to appear in court to answer the charges to the restraining order. I consulted an attorney who couldn't appear on that day and told me to go into court, don't say ANYTHING other than.. to ask for a continuance which would give me time to get the 911 tape, the police report and a statement from the police who came to the house on that day to show that I didn't do anything. My wife sat on the stand and claimed all sorts of things that didn't take place. I was stunned to say the least. I followed the advice of the attorney, the judge said I don't give continuancy and hit the gravel and ordered me removed from my home for a year.

Lots of things have happened in that time. I tried 3 times to have the charges dropped and each time I went before another judge who all said they couldn't or didn't feel comfortable in over turning the charges. Of course, a divorce case and a fight over the house is behind the second part of this. During this year my wife contacted me and asked me to return home etc. She did all sorts of things...that were crazy!! I discovered that she got 3 more insurance checks and she forged my name to 2 of them. So I filed a report against her for forgery and months later she was arrested. As soon as she was arrested she filed in the court to have a permanent restraining order against me made.

THIS time I went before the original judge who made the ruling. She once again sat on the bench and lied, but THIS time I was before the original judge and she didn't know that I taped all our conversations, her calls to my home was on an old fashion taped machine and I kept all her emails. ALL of them saying she was sorry, she loved me, wanted me to return home that kind of thing. The domestic violence courts are a joke as it is and this judge makes wise cracks to make the court laugh and of course they are packed to the gil. I have no criminal record except a DUI and never been in trouble with the law other than that and all of that kind of thing.... I was able to show my evidence that I now had and was not able to show from a year ago. You could see the surprise on the judges face when I said that I was falsely removed from my home a year ago and that I was the one who was assaulted etc and all that it has cost me etc.

He admonished her and gave her some forceful words. Her claim was denied and he said that you were the one contacting him....

That was in April, the TPO expired on the 20th. I recently was offered a position with a company that I've volunteered with for many years. This position is working with troubled youth. I filled out the paper work, was finger printed and background checked, I was looking forward to this new career and a week before I was to start the position I was called to come in to see the director. Who knows me from volunteering, I was told that my background shows that I have a TPO on my record. I tried to explain about it and that it's done with and showed the paper where her permanent request was denied. He said if it's not true you will have to get it taken off your records before we can offer you the position as no one can work with that organization dealing with children as it looks like I have a violent history etc.

I contacted the judge and was basically told that there is nothing that can be done. The case is over and he has no say so in it. How do I deal with this?? Does anyone know how I can go about getting this TPO taken off my record?
It's been suggested that I may try to sue her or ask for a perjury somehow, but was told that perjury is rarely dealt with by the DA.

HELP!! Any help with this would be appreciated. I'm also waiting for a divorce case and she has mentioned in the papers that I was abusive to her siting this same instance that DIDN'T happen and asking for the home. I haven't been to the home since then, she ignores any written request I have to come to the house to have it appraised or to even cut the grass, which is grown up and all my HARD landscaping work is gone to the dogs in the last year.

ANYONE dealt with this or have any idea how I can deal with this?? I don't have any money to hire a lawyer to deal with it and I'm not working as I left my job, since I thought I would be soon working for this other company and left so that I can take a few days off before starting a new job. I also still have the opportunity to get the other job IF I can clear this mess off my records.

Also I know that domestic violence is awful and sorry for anyone who has to deal with this but TONS of folks are falsely accused of this every day and the courts are basically not kind about it and don't require much proof to show that the charges are true. This is used in courts ALL the time, especially in divorce and child custody cases, I have since found out.

Thanks for any help in advance.

Sincerely,
falsely accused

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Old 05-24-2005, 09:53 PM
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I don't have any answers for you but I want to say I am so sorry that this has happened to you. There is a reason for everything that happens but why do people do such terrible things to others, especially when they supposedly love them? I hope that you can straighten this mess out and get on with your life.
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Old 05-25-2005, 05:19 PM
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Go to www.dvmen.org and email Charles Corry, PhD about your situation. He's very nice, helpful and the website is huge (it's not just for Colorado).

Even though I'm a woman falsely accused by the police (not my husband, who wanted all charges dropped because I called 911 and he hit me in the eye), Mr. Corry helped me throughout the painful process.

The police and city attorney took revenge on me because I smarted off to them. Our lawyer finally got the misdemeanor charges dropped because my husband went camping so he wouldn't be served to be a witness. I did have to spent 12 hours in jail, but it was three full months after the incident. We will never, ever call 911 again, for anything!

Domestic violence false charges and custody and divorce setups happen every day, I'm sorry to say. It detracts from the real victims out there. Good luck.
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Old 06-09-2005, 05:44 PM
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As a recovering victim of brutal domestic violence, I am here to say that the statistics are VERY low to non existent of women who would falsely accuse anyone of domestic violence. It's just that THE MEN who ABUSE women are such liars, manipulators and smooth talkers.

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Old 06-15-2005, 10:04 PM
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Thanks so much for the encouragement, help and especially the website.
I'm still hopeful that I can get the charges dissolved or expunged from the record as well as be compensated for this entire ordeal.

Marsha, I'm very sorry that you were a victim of brutal domestic violence. I agree that it does happen and far to often but I'm here to tell you that false accusations are rampant in the court system and unfortunately it does cloud and hurt those who are truly being abused.

Update: I was FINALLY able to present some of my evidence to the court and you can tell that the judge was totally surprised. Trying to do this without an attorney is the biggest problem, but I'm hopeful that it will be done. In my particular case I was removed from my home and couldn't produce evidence because the evidence was IN the home that I was removed from. I've been contacted by a local paper and the woman is willing to write an article that she is working on dealing with the abuse of the domestic violence laws, so hopefully I will be able to use this as additional evidence as well as get the attention of the judge, court and others involved who can turn this around. The officer who showed up is also willing to testify in my behalf as what was claimed in the original affadavit and what was taken down in court was TOTALLY untrue. I say to anyone who is falsely accused of anything to try as you might to try to fight it. I've also contacted a local representative and they are considering entering a bill to help change the laws.

In Georgia there is a section of the bill that allows you to receive compensation if you are wrongfully enjoined or restrained. I've also discovered that you can use the civil court to bring about a case to receive compensation, so I'll continue to try.

Being able to present my evidence will be the most helpful for me. I'm thankful that I was able to record the incident as it may be my only saving grace. I'm also thankful that I found a person who gave me a picture (dated) that shows her witness could not of been a witness as the picture shows them attending a week retreat the week that this (supposed incident) occurred.

Also, not only men are abusers or even falsely accused. When I was in court there were a few same sex cases with women accusing women of abuse. One case involved a same sex female couple who were also involved in an awful property division dispute, the accuser was able to prove that everything was a lie as she was not even at home and was able to produce plane tickets and credit card receipts showing her 900 miles away on a business trip. The claimant broke down crying and said that is was 'suggested' by an attorney friend that she try to get a protective order to have her removed from the home and that this would give her leverage in the property dispute. It happens, a LOT!! Especially in divorce cases and in child custody cases. I also would not of ever assumed that someone would file these kind of charges against another until it happened to ME!! Since I've been on a crusade to clear my name, I've heard some horrific stories that convince me that the system as it pertains to these laws are unjust and need to be changed.

But I DO know that domestic violence is not a joke and does happen, as I had a good friend who was abused for many years and was finally able to get out of that situation and went on to live a good life.

Thanks for the input that you guys provided.

Falsely accused
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Old 06-17-2005, 06:41 AM
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Falsely Accused - I can sympathize with you, because I know that it really does happen, but I can also tell you that most of the charges filed by men against women are retaliatory. My ex has informed me that he is thinking of filing against me, because in the last incident he was the only one who actually got hit. True. I was the one who got shoved, thrown, threatened, shaken. After he pushed me down over a bench and then fell, I hit him. And got out. Now he tells me he might file about my business, my landlord/employer's status, and anything else he can think of. It won't help him, but it will hurt me, again. That's what often happens.
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Old 07-05-2005, 01:03 PM
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Well, yes the statistics may be "low" for being falsely accused, but even one innocent person having to go to jail is one too many. The facts are that retaliatory charges, and divorce/custody set-ups are getting to be more and more common. These people who do it often learn it in the system, from their own lawyer, or learn it by word of mouth. And it does detract from all the real victims, but that doesn't mean that it's not happening a lot.

Mr. Falsely Accused, you are real lucky that in your state you can recover damages from being wrongly restrained or jailed. Most innocent or exonerated people don't have any recourse at all.

I have been on both sides of the fence. In June of 2002, I was handcuffed and beaten severely by my ex husband who is a park ranger. I had photos of my bruises, took them to the D.A., and nothing happened to the assh-le who beat me because the state didn't want him to lose his gun because he would therefore lose his job.

So I've seen this issue from both sides.
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Old 09-12-2005, 10:23 PM
LinusK LinusK is offline
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There's no good defense against a person willing to make false accusations. The police have a saying, "You might beat the rap, but you won't beat the ride." Even if ultimately beat the charge in court, you'll spend a night in jail - at least - and be out thousands of dollars in legal costs. Not to mention the likelihood of being barred from your home, and having a record of having had a protective order filed against you. And that's if you win.

Which isn't a certainty - new laws are making it more and more difficult. In my state, they can simply read the victim's statement off the police report. The accuser no longer has to appear.

The only real defense is to stay far away from the kind of person who would use 911 as a way to win an argument. There's no excuse to stay with a person like that, no matter how much you think you love her.
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Old 09-12-2005, 10:53 PM
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AngelLove143 AngelLove143 is offline
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I just want to say...I too was a victim of DV...For a year straight the cops would come to our house at elast Once a week of course he would leave as soon as he knew they were coming. And of course me not wanting to break up the family would lie and say that nothing happened defending him. The cops knew better but couldnt do anything cuz he wasnt there when they arrived. But the cops were there when I finally had enough of the broken noses, stranglations, beatings being locked in, and I went off. They had no choice but to arrest me cuz I was going off at the time. Well I sat in jail and got out on O.R. 5 days later wasnt too bad. But then 5 months later I learned as to why I was being abused so badly. It was so my now X husband could prove to our children that he can hurt people. SO that they wouldnt open their mouths about the sexual abuse he put onto them. Yes My DV had a deeper sting to it it was the fact that my four babies were being molested by their father. So I beg all you women or men out there that face DV get help dont protect the ones that raise a hand. Protect yourself and the little ones that cant protect themselves. Get out while you can.

If you EVER need a friend I am here. If you ever need help trying to get away there is help believe me I KNOW first hand.
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Old 09-13-2005, 08:38 AM
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raysbabyg raysbabyg is offline
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Concratulations angellove for not only getting away but passing on a hard lesson learned. It is sad when a person falsley acuses someone of such a terrible thing. When in so many households this is a real night mare.

Last edited by raysbabyg; 09-13-2005 at 08:44 AM..
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Old 09-13-2005, 11:26 AM
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AmyLynn AmyLynn is offline
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Yes there are women who use Dv charges to get their way.But I can tell you that it ever be a woman that has ever been it a Dv relationship. I have been in two of them. the first one I thought I could all ways be better. Lose wieght change my hair color I would try anything to get him to stay with me. I learned the hard away and a broken nose. Scars on the inside that will never go away!! I'm jumpy around loud drunks and flich if someone moves to fast by me!! The second one I really think he would have killed me at some point but it did not get to that point cause he got himself locked up and that is how i found PTO. Cause I thought that I could stand behind him but he was still a jerk and abusive in his own ways. this was my way out and I took!! Sense then I have met a woderful man and I have learned that NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO HIT OR TOUCH ANOTHER LIKE THAT!!!!!
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