False Domestic Violence accusations / taking responsibility.

[char_hart80]

I felt the need to share, as I have noticed that there are a few woman here who maybe afraid to speak up about there BF/GF, Husband/Wife, Fiancee or significant other, especially if they may have been falsely accused of DV, and or something more serious ... and even with the case dropped and charges not filed and so forth, it can still follow them around especially when child custody comes into it, and for many other reasons.

My boyfriend's ex is how all his legal troubles started. When we first met he wanted to be honest with me about his past, so that I wouldn't worry and or second guess anything. My boyfriend’s ex gf and mother of his daughter originally filed DV on him, and according to the documents during an argument, he left the room to go to the bathroom and did not realize she was so close behind him, he went to into the bathroom and slammed the door which ultimately broke her nose. He quickly reopened the door, and called 911. His ex claimed he had punched her, which of course he denied, and the police noticed the blood on the bathroom door and a witness (friend of his ex gf), stating that he did not lay a hand on her nor any physical violence, (doubt there friends anymore.) Police took everyone’s statements, and during this process she filed a restraining order on him and after all that the police noticed her history of false accusations on her ex husband, and of course there was no evidence of him hitting her nose, and of course the evidence of the blood on the bathroom door and witness testimony. So they dropped the case.

Turns out, she has a history of reporting false abuse claims for not only my boyfriend, but also her ex husband, and she seems to only do it whenever they had planned to leave her, which that night when they had their argument was when he was packing to leave her because she had been hitting him and threatening him that if he left she would call the police and tell them that he abuses her and even threatened that he would never see his daughter ever again and she would make certain of that.

Ultimately, he was arrested for violating a restraining order she had on him, and he admits it and admits it was extremely stupid on his part because now he can't see his daughter, he said in his mind he was fighting to see his daughter and wanted to do what it took to see her, and he paid for that and got one year in prison. During that time he did go to therapy and did get help so that when he was released he could see his daughter again and to possibly make arrangements to get shared custody. This of course didn't happen, he then got mad at the whole system and what his ex was doing to him by causing all these barriers so that he couldn't see his child. He cut of his ankle bracelet, sent it back to the state and tried to commit suicide, because he felt he had no other options, he wasn't allowed to see his daughter and he felt that his ex would constantly create issues so that he would never see his child and or to even have a shot in life because of the legal battles and is having to constantly fight. Obviously he didn't follow through with it, because a fellow friend he met in prison came over and talked him down. After all that though, he ended up violating parole, and was sent back. The second violation wasn't related to that, this time round was for other issues in relation to his prior parole officer, and a mess up with his interstate compact, to which he is also partially at fault for, which is another thing he is taking responsibility for.

He's been in contact with the ACFC (American Coalition for fathers and children,) and has been researching other fathers advocacy groups like, Fathers For Equal Rights, and when he's released (in 90 days) he is going to seek legal help with getting shared custody of his daughter. We just have to save the money for an attorney and try and figure out how to get it all started. One step at a time.

Point is ... when you have been falsely accused of something you did not do, and you have the one thing you truly love torn away from you, being your child, you do whatever it takes. And in my boyfriends case, he went around it completely wrong, he even admits that, he's taking responsibility for his actions with violating a restraining order, and his parole issues and such, and is paying for those dearly.

Though now he has a better support system, he's been getting help for his depression and learning how to cope when under duress (and no not violence, his is shutting down completely.)

If I sound like I am a victim, to which I am not, all because I happen to be standing up for a man who was falsely accused of DV, then by all means make that assumption.

All I have witnessed and seen is a broken human being who happens to be a man who was the victim of abuse both emotionally and physically.

Just felt the need to share that with everyone, see it how ever you wish and feel free to share your story, to vent, or share whatever you like, I would love to read others experiences with this.