Welcome to the Prison Talk Online Community! Take a Minute and Sign Up Today!

Go Back   Prison Talk > FOR FAMILY & FRIENDS > Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgendered People in Prison
Register Entertainment FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgendered People in Prison For anyone that has a same sex partner, family member, friend or Pen Pal in prison that is Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, or Transgendered.

Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-31-2014, 10:59 AM
Kentucky73 Kentucky73 is offline
Registered User

Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 6
Thanks: 0
Thanked 5 Times in 2 Posts
Default Kentucky Gay Penpals

I've been looking for a new penpal. I would prefer to write to a gay/bisexual person. What I'm noticing on penpal websites is that the majority of them are from Kentucky prisons & there are A LOT. It's hard for me to believe there could be such a high # of gay men housed in one state. Has anyone had any experience with this? Is this a scam targeting gay men?
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Old 08-31-2014, 01:56 PM
fbopnomore fbopnomore is offline
Site Moderator

PTO Site Moderator Staff Superstar Winner 

Donation Award 

Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 27,461
Thanks: 42,439
Thanked 20,532 Times in 11,944 Posts

I don't know the answer, but you may find some helpful information already posted by other members in the PTO Pen Pal forums.

Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-2014, 05:11 AM
Tried&True's Avatar
Tried&True Tried&True is offline
Registered User

Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,425
Thanks: 531
Thanked 1,990 Times in 851 Posts

It does seem surprising that a state known as being a backward, redneck place would have so many gays. Well, for the most part, it is true. I have a pen pal in KY. We have been writing for almost 5 years. We have become pretty close. He has grown allot over the time we have been writing. He has never given me reason to doubt that he is being honest with me.....No, we do not write sex letters to each other...KY doesn't like that.

He tells me that the DOC tends to be tolerant of openly gay inmates and they are able to be more open than many other states. Of course there very likely are those who are working a scam for money. You just have to be careful.
Reply With Quote
Old 09-04-2014, 10:15 AM
lilant0500's Avatar
lilant0500 lilant0500 is offline
Registered User

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: New York, United States
Posts: 20
Thanks: 13
Thanked 5 Times in 4 Posts

I have a pen pal in K.S.P.,of course you have to watch for red flags. My pen pal told me that there are a lot of scams in his prison. Guys pretending to be gay, using you for money, etc. You just have to watch and read between the lines. But my pen pal did tell me there is a lot of guys in there that are openly gay. I know its pretty odd for kentucky, but it is what it is. [=
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to lilant0500 For This Useful Post:
Tried&True (09-05-2014)
Old 11-05-2014, 12:42 PM
sunsetgun78's Avatar
sunsetgun78 sunsetgun78 is offline
Dependable Friend

Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: SE VA, US
Posts: 33
Thanks: 0
Thanked 8 Times in 6 Posts

Of the states I have written to FL, KY and TX seem to really have issues with guys that are not gay pretending to be gay, bi or even gay friendly. I have only been writing guys in my state, VA and in NC. I've been writing to guys for about ten years now and have had some crazy experiences when they get out or even before they get out.

I followed your posts and nearly all are things I have dealt with!

If you can't help others, at least don't harm them.
Reply With Quote
Old 10-31-2015, 06:17 AM
Northshoreman1 Northshoreman1 is offline
Registered User

Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Formerly New Orleans, LA, USA nor rural N. La.
Posts: 6
Thanks: 2
Thanked 8 Times in 4 Posts

Like you, I wanted to write a gay prisoner. After setting the criteria of who i'd consider as a pen pal, I noticed the large number of Kentucky inmates, I did the following "homework":

1) Google their name, using something like name Kentucky arrest, or name Kentucky conviction. This may bring up mug shots from their arrest, court appeals they've filed, news articles of their arrest circumstances. In some cases, the news articles will report their address which they share with someone such as girlfriend, or the articles which refer to kids the guy has fathered, or other out of state arrests/convictions which don't appear on the inmate's current state records--and aren't necessarily disclosed by the inmate. All these things you need to know going in.
This includes watching local chat site where his name pops up (Topix is one site that hosts local blogs.). These often degenerate into local gossip sessions, but can give insights. One guy I'd considered writing was listed there. Locals revealed his then live-in was pregnant as was a girlfriend he had on the side concurrently, and he had a previous child from a year or so prior to his incarceration. He now claims to be gay, after 3 years in jail? Trust me, I'm skeptical.
2) Go to other inmate penpal sites, check their name to see if they have ads in multiple locations--and if the ads are the same. (You've got to go directly to these sites--ads placed on their sites don't necessarily appear on google searches, depending on how the sites are structured.) For example, if you see one ad by the inmate showing he's gay on one site, and straight or bi on another site, that's a warning flag for me. Same if he reports anything other than the same marital status on the sites. Or if kids are listed (or shown in pics) on one site and not the other.
3) while on those sites, look at the date the ad was posted. If the older ad(s) show gay, and new one(s) show something different, you've got another red flag. Especially true if the most current ad is within a year or so of parole date, and his status has shifted from gay to straight.
4). If you find the guy was straight before prison, and now claims gay, ASK when/how he realized he was gay. Does his family know? Friends know? Listen to his response, and trust your gut level response. ALWAYS ask how long they've been gay, how it was for them when they came out, etc.
5). If you do start a correspondence, and the friendship seems to change, redo these steps, just to make sure you aren't going to be scammed, especially if you've chatted for a while and his his release approaches.

Using this approach eliminated more than a third of the KY inmates I was considering using my selection criteria. And it made me feel a little more confident that I had a gay guy who wasn't gaming me. Gay prisoners have it tough and this approach lets me focus on guys who'd I think appreciate having a gay pen pal.

I'm currently corresponding with a couple of guys (one in Kentucky) and it's been fun for each of us. So, I'm not saying don't write---just do your homework and it'll help your comfort level.

Last edited by Northshoreman1; 10-31-2015 at 06:40 AM.. Reason: Add info, fix spelling
Reply With Quote
Old 11-15-2015, 10:54 AM
lilant0500's Avatar
lilant0500 lilant0500 is offline
Registered User

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: New York, United States
Posts: 20
Thanks: 13
Thanked 5 Times in 4 Posts

I have the answer to this forum! I have talking to many new pen pals from ky but dropped them all when they tried getting money. One pen pal who I stay in touch with and also his mother told me they have a crew who try to pretend gay to get money and other stuff.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to lilant0500 For This Useful Post:
marco1969 (11-29-2018), Northshoreman1 (11-19-2015)
Old 01-09-2016, 08:26 PM
freespritinnc freespritinnc is offline
Registered User

Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: north carolina
Posts: 3
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

i would have to agree about all the gay prisoners in Kentucky i have written 5 inmates and have recived1 letter back sent a card and letter back and responce
Reply With Quote
Old 01-10-2016, 09:51 PM
wallhut wallhut is offline
Not Into Bars Scene

Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Mount Juliet, TN
Posts: 5
Thanks: 1
Thanked 5 Times in 3 Posts

I have had horrible and costly experiences both emotionally and financially with Kentucky inmates, although what I have to say pertains to any inmate romance. I am not sure what allowed me to do such a thing, but it was the dream of that big, manly top I always dreamed of. I really don't think either was a scam. I think they really loved me, but they were both claiming bisexuality, which I believed to be true. I had sexual relationships with both. The problem wasn't that they didn't want to be with me upon release. The problem is that it is a tremendous psychological challenge from ex-offenders to reintegrate, and you may find that loving relationship you were planning on doesn't materialize. There are reasons men get incarcerated. There are often serious psychological issues that led them into that life, and what was a loving, tender and caring person while inside can become a jumbled mess of confusion and conflict upon release. The question you must ask yourself is why you're even considering this route for romance. I think it's beautiful to write and befriend an incarcerated man or woman, but for God's sake don't fall in love and start sending any significant amount of money. If you must consider this route to love, wait until they're out and will show you that they want to be with you and will make an effort to do so and really create a life together. But please, go find love outside the prison walls. Save yourself what will be an ocean of disappointment and heartache.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to wallhut For This Useful Post:
forest-flower (01-11-2016)


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 06:55 AM.
Copyright © 2001- 2017 Prison Talk Online
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Website Design & Custom vBulletin Skins by: Relivo Media
Message Board Statistics