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Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgendered People in Prison For anyone that has a same sex partner, family member, friend or Pen Pal in prison that is Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, or Transgendered.

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  #1  
Old 03-20-2003, 05:29 PM
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Default Welcome - Introductions

Hey,

My name is Teb, and I am a Moderator at PTO.

We have opened this Forum to specifically address issues that affect Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgendered People in prison.

A little of my story...

I am a gay man living in Canada, and my Partner is incarcerated in Missouri. We have less than three years left in our sentence at this point.

In general we have been lucky and treated fairly by the Missouri DOC, but there are many Gay Prisoners and same sex Partners that have not been treated fairly in other states and prison administrations.

I am joined by Philippe (Phil in Paris) as a C0-Moderator of this Forum and we want you to feel comfortable in this Forum that you will be accepted and not judged. If you have an issue that you do not feel comfortable exposing openly, then I encourage you to Private Message either myself or Philippe and we can work with you behind the scenes confidentially.

This Forum is for all members of PTO to participate in whether you have a tie to a GLBT person in prison or not. This Forum was however opened for the family, friends, same sex Partners, and loved ones supporting a GLBT person in prison.

Please note the Forum Introduction that is posted at the top of this Forum as it contains the general introduction in more detail and the code of conduct for this forum. You can go to the Introduction by clicking the following link.

http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/sho...threadid=11823
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  #2  
Old 03-20-2003, 06:31 PM
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Hello: My user name is Patch, but in real life I go by Chris and I am also here because of my involvement in the penal systems. Unfortunatley, I have two siblings who are generally incarcerated far more than they are free; I call it the revolving door syndrome. And up until recently, I was involve with my samesex partner, Terry, who is to be release from prison in only seven days.

I believe a forum such as this is not only necessary in our plight for equality within a society that often times ignores the fundamentals of our needs. But also because I believe that issues involving incarerated gay men and women and their family members, samesex partners, and friends are unique. Thus, I am hoping to learn all that I can, while at the same time helping as much as I can. Please feel free to email me or send me a private message if I help in any way.

Chris
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Old 03-20-2003, 06:46 PM
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did you say 7 days? omg. am i suppose to be writing in here?
I am sorry if i am not suppoe to be, if not please delte teb, i just so got excited/
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Old 03-20-2003, 06:54 PM
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It's cool lulu... and yes, Terry get's out in 7 days, though he is not coming home.

Teb: Please remember to put this thread as a sticky so it does not keep going down the line of posted threads.. thanks

Chris
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Old 03-20-2003, 08:56 PM
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Hi, my name is Pookie. It is both my screen name and my real family nickname. I am gay and my boyfriend, Timothy, is incarcerated in a Texas federal prison. Currently, I live in Chicago and we plan to be together after his release in about 3.5 years from now. We are both born within 2 weeks of each other of the same year, (we're both 32) and it is so weird how we think alike on just about everything.

As far as this forum is concerned, I think this forum was very much needed. Although we are in waiting, going through the agony of patience, dealing with "the system" just like our hetero counterparts, we as gays have different issues to contend with on top of the normal issues. For me and Tim, being gay is something we both deal with in relation to the federal system and many other systems for that matter. Tim is a white cowboy, and I am a black cityboy. lolol But our different backgrounds and our hearts seem to compliment each other so perfectly. Can you tell that I am glad about this forum? haha Gosh, look at this long post!!

I also think the timing of this forum couldn't have come at a better time. I must say that everyone at PTO have always been sweet toward me from day 1, and I have always felt comfortable here 100%. However, it is still beneficial to new incoming gays, bisexuals, lesbians, etc..... that they automatically know that they don't have to feel shy about being a part of the group and posting their experience with their incarcerated loved one. Also, we current gay members can discuss other topics directly affecting us that maybe other straight members may not know how to address. Some may, but most may not.

Even though Ken and Philly already know that I support them in this effort all the way, I want to take this time to publicly say that you buddy ol pals got my full support and anything you need, just let ol Poo Poo know and I will do my best to help. And that is the same with all on PTO. And I also want to add that I really admire the experience that Patch brings to me in particular. We've got a good team and it is getting even more effective and unique. Cool huh?


pookie

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Old 03-20-2003, 09:02 PM
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hi everyone,

my name is emme and i am a moderator here...

i am a straight woman who loves and is in love with a straight prisoner...but...i also love many gay men, lesbians, bisexuals, transgendered folks...and every other human being who isn't a jerk ...my point in posting here is to voice my support and my welcomes to those who are the loved ones of incarcerated GLBT folks, and to let you know that there is support for you all over pto.

may your time here be happy and productive, and may you find strength, hope and knowledge here at prisontalk online.

all the best,
emme
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Old 03-20-2003, 09:12 PM
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Hi ...i am sherri and i am also a moderator here..i am straight but like Emme appreciate the addition of this forum and am certain it will be a great forum for not only GLBT members and their loved ones but for all of us here at PTO...

I too extend my welcome and support , and want to reinforce that as Emme said there is love and support for you all over PTO!!
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Old 03-20-2003, 09:34 PM
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Pookie:

Please allow me to say welcome... and thank you for the kind words. I believe everyone in PTO has value in what they have to offer. And as this forum grows from the many team members who come here, be they str8, gay, bi or transgendered. It is sure to be a most educational adventure filled full of laughs, tears, screams of joy and sometimes hmmm's I didn't think of that.

It is my hope that we can make a powerful impact not only in our support for each other, but in striving to change the penal system mentality one step at a time. It is therefore of the utmost importance to check this forum regularly and to lend a helping hand where you or anyone feels comfortable. And maybe in the process, we can all learn from each other's thoughts and experiences.... Oh and by the way, seeing as how I am a Cowboy too... You're in good hands here in PTO hehe

Emme and Sherri13... Thank you for your support and encouragement... it means a lot to all of us when people can see the value in just being human beings... no lables and no prejudices imposed... just simply being humanbeings. So thank you from one queen to the next (just joking LOL).

Chris
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Old 03-20-2003, 11:42 PM
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In offline life I'm often the token straight female in an absolutely wonderful group of gay men who've been some of the biggest lights of my life for over a decade now, so I'm pleased as punch about the new forum for some more absolutely wonderful PTO folks! Much support and hugs and hope y'all have a blast with the new sandbox here

Luv,
Lys
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Old 03-21-2003, 07:47 AM
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Wow in one night, this forum has grown up a lot !!! We just started last night with Teb when I was on my way to bed !! Time difference sucks !!!

So Hello,

I'm Phil, I live in Paris France, I'm gay and I co-moderate this new forum with Teb.

Joey my boyfriend is currently incarcerated in Florida, and will be for the next 9 years.

As Teb already said, this forum is open to anyone having a G L B or T loved one friend or parents, as well as anyone else who is GLBT friendly. So please feel free to come visit us, we know how to party !!!

Anyone who feels like talking about anything in a private way, is very welcome to PM me or e-mail me at:

phil@prisontalk.com

I will always be here for you, whether you need help,information, support or just an ear to listen to you or a shoulder to lean on.

Patch and Pookie, I'm happy to meet you there, and I know you will be active, supportive and efficient.

Lulu, Emme, Sherri and Lysbeth, thank you for your visit and your kind words, you'll always be welcome here as well as others.

David (FedEx), thanks for this forum. You really are a great man !!!

All the best.
Phil
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Old 03-21-2003, 08:23 AM
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aw, I love this thread.
My name is lulu and i am as will straight, but i love all people as well.

Chris, wow, 7 days, that is like really exciting.
excuse me, how come phil gets a PTO email? and how do you use that Phil? In your out look or what?
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Old 03-22-2003, 02:49 AM
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Hi... just wanted to peek in and tell you I think it is GREAT that you guys opened this forum. Quite straight here, but I love you all and will be a regular viewer in this forum.

Tanya
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Old 03-22-2003, 05:14 AM
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Thanks for the support! It is great to know that many will participate in this new Forum!
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Old 03-24-2003, 12:41 AM
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Hi everyone... I'm Jody... a bi female, currently living in Texas.

I guess you could say I was 'in the closet' for many years, until I went to prison. Oddly enough, it was the only place I had found, at that point in time, that actually accepted same-sex relationships. Upon my release, I was in the first relationship with a woman, where we didn't keep it a big secret.

While I am now in a relationship with Dale, and love him very much... I don't know, I was thinking maybe my past might help someone. I know what it was like dealing with peoples' attitudes and opinions about being with another woman... on the inside and out!

I think this was a wonderful forum to open, and I will frequent it often!

Jodygirl
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Old 03-24-2003, 12:59 AM
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hello Jodygirl.... welcome and let me be the first to say that we need your point of view, not just from the female perspective and being incarcerated, but also from your being bi... both of which will be very valuable here and very much appreciated...

Chris
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Old 03-24-2003, 06:48 PM
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Hey Jody, thanks for sharing! Good to have you around!
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Old 03-25-2003, 06:14 AM
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Hi Jody, welcome aboard !!
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Old 03-25-2003, 11:59 AM
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hehehe... I feel like I was just welcomed to PTO all over again!
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Old 04-07-2003, 01:37 PM
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This is a great forum. I am also straight but I have been friends with a lot of gay people. I like to think I have a very open mind. Keep up the great work here at pto. I couldn't do this without you, we all need each other.

Thanks
Nancy (nanuu)
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Old 04-08-2003, 06:24 AM
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Hi Nancy

Thanks very much for your visit

All my best wishes
Phil
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Old 04-08-2003, 10:17 AM
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Hey there Nancy, so glad you like the forum.

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Old 04-08-2003, 10:34 AM
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Hi, I'm completely new to the forum but I am glad I found it because I am a gay man and have been looking for a safe place where there might be some like-minded individuals to talk about prison real life prison relationships. My story is a little different from most. I don't have a boyfriend who is locked up. I generally am attracted to the kinds of men who either are behind bars, have been behind bars, or end up being locked up (in gay lingo, these kinds of men are commonly referred to as "trade" or "rough trade"). I'm not ashamed of it at all. It's what I like. I just have very few people I can talk to about it.

I thought I'd give some background on me and how I came about my interest in what is commonly known as "trade".

I'm in my 30s now, African American male, but started hanging out in the streets and in the clubs as early as 15. I was one of those rare kids from the 80's who lived like a Cosby Kid in the daytime, did my school work, was a perfect little angel, then hung out on the streets and in the clubs all night (No, I did not live with my parents in case you're wondering. I was away at a private school). I have always been more fascinated with and befriended the rougher, more masculine and muscular guys growing up. I grew up on the "nicer", more affluent side of town with almost no Blacks and Latinos, and "so that I would always know where I came from", my dad always made sure I made friends with his friends' sons, who were Black and Latino and lived on the "other" (poorer) side of town, where he grew up. That's probably where my interest in things that are not stuffy, bourgeousie or middle-class got started. In the gay clubs in my city and the environment around them is where I learned about street life and street trade, and how it intertwined with gay life. Early in my mid teens, in the clubs and the strip around the clubs, I gradually met and hustlers, hookers, pool sharks, dope dealers and dope fiends that all kind of hung around the area of some particularly seedier Black gay bars where I went, and learned a lot about them, carefully keeping in tune with the scene even after finishing college and taking a white-collar position. Even volunteering my time by doing things like tutoring illiterate inmates, which in a strange way really kept me on my toes and modest at the same time.

Although I am professional man, I do enjoy having friends from all aspects of life. In my love/sex life however, nothing for me beats a blue-collar or even street-wise man. For me it's not a fantasy, it's actually part of my reality, it is what makes me most comfortable in my personal life (which is very different from my professional or educational life). I am not talking about the "thug" posers that are currently all the rage in the nightclubs and various chat rooms, but just a regular, low-key, low-maintenance masculine blue-collar type man, with the kind of build that I like and all (very muscular). I have been doing this for about 17 years now, and I like to think that I know the difference between what's real and what's phoney.

I also like every now and then, on my off time, shooting the breeze with street guys -- even prisoners -- and have communicated as pen pals and buddies with quite a number of inmates over the years, but I'm aware enough to know that it is exactly what it is. I do not expect anything and do not give more that I can afford to lose. But I admit that a couple of them really tug at my heart strings!

My good gay/bisexual friends know about my preference in a type of man. I'm probably the only one of my group that has this preference (or at least the only one who openly admits to it). My buddies know that if we see a buff roughneck blue-collar brother walking down the block then my eyes will light up, and that they can have the tax accountants or model/actor/waiters or whatever to themselves.

Anyway, that's my story for now. If any other posters cam relate to my personal story or have something to add, then please feel free.
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Old 04-08-2003, 10:42 AM
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Hi and welcome to PTO. You will soon see all the loving people here at PTO and welcome all people. Good to have you with us
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Old 04-11-2003, 03:56 PM
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Well,

Linda and I were discussing this thread and I wanted us to write an introduction of us here together. She said well, Honey, I wrote the last one this one is yours! LOL! But, to tell you the truth she did a great job and I'm not sure how to follow!

I do want to add a few comments to her intro in the introductions forum - from my point of view.

As she said we did meet in church in 1995, both of us were married then, Jerry, her husband was a wonderful human being who was just the dearest man I have known.

Linda and Jerry were a wonderful pair and great friends to me and my son and youngest daughter. Jerry passed away not long after we met. Linda and her two daughters and son were devastated. As were we. Jerry was not only a dear friend to us along with Linda, the two of them helped my family survive a horrible divorce.

Jerry was a better father to my children, James and Sara, than their own parent Charlie was. Just by his mere presence one weekend Jerry saved my daughters life and mine. For my ex had decided that he was better off if we were dead.

We all miss Jerry.

Linda and I remained friends for a time after Jerry's passing.

We had never even considered a same sex relationship. But, over time things changed - all I can say is: We fell in love!

And as for me, that was the best thing that has ever happened in my life.

She talks about my humor, hah! She is the funny one I have never laughed so much in my life! I have never known love like this before. She is just my light in the sky! I don't know how else to put.

Linda did mention my niece and what her conviction has done to me. I had been raising my niece at that time, and I have to admit she and I did not get along. She ran away - got involved in drugs was eventually convicted of murder and we are still fighting that conviction.

I blamed myself for her destruction and I let my grief and bitterness pretty much destroy me. I turned into someone that, well, I don't think anyone would like very much. Including me.

But, Linda stood beside me through this entire mess, she has saved my life three times now: through my divorce, cancer, and my conviction, and imprisonment. She is also giving me the strength and courage to fight that conviction, as well as, Holly's through the courts. Together we (along with the attorney - who gets most of the credit!) have won my release pending the outcome of the appeal. Together, as Partners and with family, we will face whatever comes.

We know in our hearts that with God's Grace and our Guardian Angel that he has sent us - Jerry - we will win the appeal if He wills it. Or if I have to go back, we will have the strength, endurance, and love to not only survive, but to beat the odds. And Linda will keep me laughing through the whole thing.

I really looked forward to visitation, because, I knew for a moment I would be with my Love, we could not touch, but we could laugh and enjoy each other - if only for a brief time each week. That kept me going!

To the others who introduced theirselves in this forum, Thank you for sharing yourselves with Linda and I.

Love, to all

Patti and Linda

Last edited by FriscoLady; 04-11-2003 at 04:08 PM..
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Old 04-11-2003, 04:58 PM
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Dear Patti and Linda !!!

Al last you did it !!!! I was so much waiting for your introduction in the GLBT forum !!! You are such a wonderful and inspiring couple, and brought so much interesting input and caring words to PTO !!!

I'm very proud and happy to have friends like you, and wish you and yours all the best for your future.

Thanks for this sweet introduction of your couple, and all my best wishes for an everlasting happiness.

Love
Phil xoxo
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