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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

View Poll Results: if you had the chance to get pregnant would you?
yes 897 38.37%
no 1,039 44.44%
maybe 307 13.13%
can't decide 95 4.06%
Voters: 2338. You may not vote on this poll

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  #926  
Old 10-24-2012, 10:40 PM
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Nope. Not in my situation I actually got pregnant before he went back in and I was so scared about having to do it alone. I have 5 other kids from my ex and I never did it alone. We want to have a baby together and he gets out in 6 month Lord willing. It's only a 1 year sentence. I want to have some time with just us and then I want him there with me for everything. He has another daughter and he was locked up when she was born. I need him beside me and i want him to experience the awesome event of seeing his child be born. SO for us, no way. But, I can understand if a situation is different. Plus, I am already a single mom of 5 and it's killing me.
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  #927  
Old 10-24-2012, 11:01 PM
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I think I said no before, and I lied! I gave birth to our 1st child together in Dec. 4 months early, and she is perfectly healthy now! Because it was an emergency, he missed out, but I had planned to skype him and he could watch the birth. But I was able to send him a bunch of pics, and skype him during the parent/doctor meetings. Since she was so premature. (he has an amazing counselor, who might get fired if he gets caught) but he just wants him to feel like a part of his daughters life. I am very thankful!
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  #928  
Old 10-31-2012, 09:26 PM
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Considering my boyfriend its going to be released in December I would absolutely get pregnant right now. Unfortunately I got my tubes tied after my 2nd daughter because my dead beat ex husband never helped so I felt like a single mother. I am absolutely going to get a reversal because my love for this man is incredible and I want to grow my family with him. I want to give him the children he wants. He accepts my girls as his own already but having his own child is something he tells m e he wants all the time. I wish I could get pregnant so badly.
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  #929  
Old 11-01-2012, 05:32 AM
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I really, really hope I don't. We have family visits and I'm not as hot at taking the pill as I should be so every month I get really freaked out if I'm a bit late. I really need to look into getting the injection or coil because I would hate to get pregnant and be all on my own . Not fun lol
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  #930  
Old 11-02-2012, 09:42 AM
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Nope . Been there almost did that but he wouldn't want to miss out on our baby and neither would I . Sad @ 1st but happy in the long run
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  #931  
Old 11-02-2012, 01:38 PM
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No that is irresponsible. i wouldn't do that to myself, him or that child
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  #932  
Old 11-05-2012, 06:10 AM
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My boyfriend is a lifer...he has done 8yrs so far and he is 23 and hasno kids n wants some,im a single mother already but that's anotherstory but i would definitely do it for my love<3
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  #933  
Old 11-05-2012, 12:14 PM
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Red face I said NO in 2005...but then it happened in 2010...

Well...I posted here in 2005 saying that I would not. However, I did! It was not intentional, but we didn't do anything to prevent it. His release date was about a week before my due date. I didn't want to endure the pregnancy alone and he was as helpful and supportive as he could be. I did really well...until I was into the 7th month. Complications caused the doctor to induce my labor and I gave birth to a preemie all alone. He didn't even know because there was no way for him to contact me. I was sad that he missed it.

But...when he finally came home to a 2 month old, they began the bond that I prayed for. Their relationship is AWESOME!!! He is a FANTASTIC dad and my son loves him sooooo much!
It wasn't ideal, but I'm so grateful for my 2 favorite men!!!
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  #934  
Old 11-05-2012, 03:52 PM
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I voted YES!!! My husband is a lifer... besides I'm raising our daughter a lone so one more comes easy!
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  #935  
Old 11-05-2012, 05:30 PM
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I really want to have a baby with my man but not while he is in prison. It just won't seem right for him to miss out on our child together. He is actually excited to have a baby with me, he told me he has names picked out and everything. So I'm excited to start a family with him when he gets out. I'm happy with just waiting and having him here though it all.
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  #936  
Old 11-13-2012, 07:23 PM
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I cant say no as I recently found out that I am expecting his child right now hoping all goes well and I carry full term so that he can be home for the birth... his release date and my due date are 3 weeks apart
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  #937  
Old 12-21-2012, 02:14 PM
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Default Invetro fertilization and pregnancy while in prison

I have a few questions for anyone who has a loved one in the Missouri system. My boyfriend and I have been back and forth about marriage while he is in prison. He has 14 more years to go, I am 31 years old and will possibly be 45 years old when he gets out, if he doesn't get out early. We've talked about having or adopting kids, but he has yet to realize with his record, noone will ever allow us to adopt (2nd degree murder). Does anyone know if it is at all possible to have an invetro fertilization procedure done in Missouri and if so, how would I go about having it done. I want his child and only his child and we both want kids really bad. We have a very supportive network of people who would be more than willing to help me take care of our child until he comes home. I'm not looking to do this soon, but if we decide to marry before he gets out, I will want to know what are my options for children with my love.

#Desperately in love!
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  #938  
Old 12-22-2012, 11:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Serelle View Post
I have a few questions for anyone who has a loved one in the Missouri system. My boyfriend and I have been back and forth about marriage while he is in prison. He has 14 more years to go, I am 31 years old and will possibly be 45 years old when he gets out, if he doesn't get out early. We've talked about having or adopting kids, but he has yet to realize with his record, noone will ever allow us to adopt (2nd degree murder). Does anyone know if it is at all possible to have an invetro fertilization procedure done in Missouri and if so, how would I go about having it done. I want his child and only his child and we both want kids really bad. We have a very supportive network of people who would be more than willing to help me take care of our child until he comes home. I'm not looking to do this soon, but if we decide to marry before he gets out, I will want to know what are my options for children with my love.

#Desperately in love!
You are right to be looking into this now, if this is something you want to go ahead with. Have u ever seen Prison Wives? There was a woman on one episode that was also wondering about this. She had a lawyer to help. Check it out. It's available on Netflix. Basically, I remember her being told that an inmate does not have a right to have his sperm collected and given to his wife. I would check with a lawyer. Plus, this is something beyond just Missouri, bc if there is a precedent elsewhere, a lawyer might use that. A lawyer would have someone research the issue. I doubt you'd be able to just go to the warden and ask for your LO's sperm. Maybe you can get a free consultation with a lawyer to find out how you'd begin. Also, I assume being married will make a difference. But, maybe not. Another idea is to freeze your eggs for use later. Then when he gets out you could use his sperm and carry your own child, although it would come with risks since you'd be near 50. But, it has happened before. I have a friend who had a baby at 48 years old. Another idea is for you to adopt before you and he are married as it might help your case. Maybe not a baby but an older child? Or look into adopting from another country? Sorry I can't help you more, but it is something to think about. A very interesting topic, indeed. I wish you the best!
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  #939  
Old 12-24-2012, 01:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DJzGirl View Post
You are right to be looking into this now, if this is something you want to go ahead with. Have u ever seen Prison Wives? There was a woman on one episode that was also wondering about this. She had a lawyer to help. Check it out. It's available on Netflix. Basically, I remember her being told that an inmate does not have a right to have his sperm collected and given to his wife. I would check with a lawyer. Plus, this is something beyond just Missouri, bc if there is a precedent elsewhere, a lawyer might use that. A lawyer would have someone research the issue. I doubt you'd be able to just go to the warden and ask for your LO's sperm. Maybe you can get a free consultation with a lawyer to find out how you'd begin. Also, I assume being married will make a difference. But, maybe not. Another idea is to freeze your eggs for use later. Then when he gets out you could use his sperm and carry your own child, although it would come with risks since you'd be near 50. But, it has happened before. I have a friend who had a baby at 48 years old. Another idea is for you to adopt before you and he are married as it might help your case. Maybe not a baby but an older child? Or look into adopting from another country? Sorry I can't help you more, but it is something to think about. A very interesting topic, indeed. I wish you the best!



Thank you sooo much for your thoughts and information! It helps a lot and I am very appreciative of any help I can get. You made a lot of valid points and I thought about freezing my eggs as well. I will see about speaking with a lawyer, I never thought about them using situations in other states would help my case. I spoke with his caseworker a while ago and she said that it is not allowed in the state of Missouri, however, I've run across people who have said it has been done in their own families here and out of state. Thank you for all your help and well wishes, can't wait to see what I find out!
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  #940  
Old 12-25-2012, 08:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by randys_girl4eva View Post
i was just wondering if you had a chance to get prenant while he was still in would you take the oppurtunity or would you wait until he gets out. but if your boyfriend was in there for life and you don't have that option to wait would you just go ahead and get pregnant?
If he was doing life I would probably say no only because he won't be there for doctor appointments nor the birth. Then it would be those once a week visits and depending on the guy that once a week stuff is not enough, it's just even more hurtful that they can't be with family. But if he had it set in his mind that wants one so he can say he had something of his left behind then I would probably go for it. Especially if it's a little boy I would have something that would remind me that I still have him as well as he actually has something to call his own in "the free world."
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  #941  
Old 01-01-2013, 05:11 PM
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No I wouldn't reasonably
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  #942  
Old 01-18-2013, 11:01 PM
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IF it were possible and he was less than 9 months from his release date then yes I would. I mean husbands are nothing but a pain in the ass when you're pregnant anyways lol I've got baby fever so bad right now.
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  #943  
Old 01-26-2013, 12:45 PM
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If federal prison allowed family visits than yes I would. I love my man and know where he is but I would still do it because no matter how hard it would be everyday would be a blessing. I would love to give him the baby he wants.
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  #944  
Old 01-26-2013, 02:48 PM
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I want to say I'd do it, I doubt I'd survive pregnancy alone though. I can't wait until September when he's home and we can work on having a lil one
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  #945  
Old 01-26-2013, 11:23 PM
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I wouldn't, his sentence is over right around when I think would be a good time for me to settle down and have a baby... plus he's already expressed how much he doesn't want to be an absent dad. I can wait the few years until he's out, and we're settled down.
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  #946  
Old 01-27-2013, 10:27 AM
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Yes I did my last pregnancy alone. Due to county. And I honestly think i have a better pregnancy when he isn't around lol. With my son it was like okay who's growing a human you are me lol. But 2014 isn't that far
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  #947  
Old 02-15-2013, 10:37 PM
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Nope. I don't even like going to bed without him here, let alone something as big as having a baby.
He wants to be involved in EVERYTHING... so even IF I wanted to, he wouldn't allow it.
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  #948  
Old 02-16-2013, 12:50 AM
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I just did

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  #949  
Old 02-16-2013, 10:12 PM
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My son was 2 weeks when he went in... And he's going to turn 3 in a few months when daddy gets home. He knows who daddy is and talks about him all the time.
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  #950  
Old 02-17-2013, 06:03 PM
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hmmmmm maybe closer to the very end of his bid. but right now no because Im not financially stable enough to support a child on my own besides I dont want to raise my child "in prison". When theyre little babies okay but I dont want my five year old wondering why daddy lives in another place.
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